Udon noodles with mushrooms, carrots and fried egg.

Bf of 2 years, just before he was supposed to move in, told me he's in a LOT of debt. He isn't paying it off and just took out another loan. Wasn't even able to tell me what he does with the money. He rejected any help, got snarky and cussed at me, wasn't able to have a normal convo about it. Then he stood up and left. I don't want this in my life.

Please offer encouragement for me to NOT take him back. I'm starting nursing school in 2 months, I have savings and live super responsibly. I don't want to live my life in fear of debt.

Sushi Bake I made last night, and eating for breakfast. (Recipe by Alissa Won on insta!)

My (33f) half sister (20f) has been with this guy (36m) for about 2.5 years now (she just turned 18 at the time, she’s about to turn 21 in a few months). They met online playing COD around the time she turned 18. It’s been a huge deal in our family. My full blooded older sister (34f) and her got into it and now they no longer talk. My older sister thinks he is a pedo, *supposedly* he had a 14 year old living with him before they met. She had also messaged his mom and talked to her about it and she says it’s true. But, he claims his mom has mental issues and makes things up. She moved to a different state to be with him. She told everyone that he can’t have kids for whatever reason, but we all called bs. Of course, she got pregnant and they had a baby girl last October. I’ve tried to be supportive and open with communication, i don’t want her to feel like she can’t come to me if she needs something. My dad and step mom are doing the same. We know if she gets pushed, she will just cut us off and be even more isolated. My husband plays games, and he is friends with her BF on a gaming platform, has been for a while now. But, last week, my husband called me into his office and told me to look at what he found. My husband likes to see what his friends play and look at their wish list to see if he can buy them games or see if anything looks interesting to play. What he found is MULTIPLE gooner games. Some of them are so degrading and just straight up creepy af. He’s been playing them for a very long time, and is still playing them. Y’all, HE EVEN REVIEWS THEM. It is the cringiest sh!t I’ve ever seen. Some of the games are VR as well. I highly doubt that my baby sister knows this. And if she does, I can’t help but feel like she doesn’t like it. Obviously, I don’t know, but even if she was okay with it, I feel like this just further shows what a f@cking creep he is. This feels so much more gross than someone watching porn. Games, you actually interact with. I seriously hope he isn’t playing that crap when he’s watching their daughter. I don’t know if I should tell her. I know it’s really not any of my business. And, it’s so awkward and embarrassing. Anyone on her bfs friends list can see his games and reviews. I’m just disgusted.

EDIT TO ADD: a gooner is someone who obsessively masturbates to porn. He’s playing porn games. Like gross, degrading, porn games.

EDIT AGAIN: I messaged my older sister about it. I don’t know she had messaged that then 14 year old and asked her about the relationship. She said she was 14 and had a horrible home life, and he was 26. She said she left him when she turned 18, he was abusive and had anger issues. Oh, and she knows of one other underaged girl that also was involved with him. She can’t access her old messages with him. So there’s really no other way to prove it’s true. Idk if my younger sister knows about this.

TW: cancer

Last October I was working two jobs and actually putting money away for the first time. I was halfway through a semester of three beginner college courses because I’d planned to go to grad school to change careers and then make a livable wage. My social life was vibrant and I was starting to try to date again.

And then I walked into an ER expecting to hear bronchitis or pneumonia at worst. Instead the doctor tells me I not only have leukemia but have large blood clots in my lungs and at least one clot in my heart. Cue a month long stay in a hospital. Lucky or unlucky (I can’t ever decide), I don’t remember the first 3 weeks because I was so high on oxy.

Woke up one day wearing PJs I never would’ve bought myself, with tubes sticking out of my chest, and no idea where I was or how long I’d been there. Had no time to process at all and my family (while well meaning) wouldn’t let me lose it or cry longer than a few minutes.

I had to drop my courses even though I’d been doing well. I had a few hundred emails from work and 70+ texts. I still feel terrible that I told one of my closest and long distance friends that I had cancer and then didn’t reply for 3 weeks.

I was finally released and I’ve been going through months of chemo and I went back to work. I’ve been getting disability but apparently they don’t owe you anything if you work 80% or more of your normal hours. Currently waiting on a check I’m not sure I’m going to get.

My dating life I guess is fine if dull. I haven’t felt pretty since i lost my hair. It’s starting to grow back and now it’s in an ungovernable state and I look like a mess constantly.

I’m so horrendously poor and I have to ask my family for money which is humiliating as a woman in her late twenties. My thoughts of grad school and a career change have been pushed back by a whole year. My job kinda treats me like shit (oh and NONE of my coworkers visited me even though I’ve visited them in the hospital) and I want to leave but the job market sucks and I’m basically a paper pusher right now.

I haven’t taken any time to cope. I feel so betrayed by my own body. I found out I had the BRCA gene years ago and opted to get a bilateral mastectomy in my early twenties. I’d just watched someone I loved waste away and refused to let that happen to me. Every medical decision I’ve made since then was keeping the BRCA in mind and womp womp got cancer anyway

And now I’m staring down the barrel of my final bone marrow test and then waiting to see if it’s gone or if I get the pleasure of more destruction to my body and spirit.

I’m sorry if this is too heavy for here. I feel like I’m bothering everyone in my life about this.

Dessert from a restaurant I recently tried: frozen banana dipped in chocolate and coated in nuts

Found out last week that he was getting married this week and after being in complete shock things are finally landing that it's really over.

Things weren't really working out between us because he never seemed to fully commit to me and was having doubts, so him marrying a complete stranger in an arranged marriage hit me HARD.

My self-esteem and self-worth are at a total low but at least I'm eating again. Tomato, feta and zaatar with flatbread.

Since I was 11, my periods have been so bad that I would have to miss school because I was on the floor vomiting. I have a vivid memory of my dad accusing me of being on drugs because the kitchen tile felt good to curl up on. I was tested for PCOS, endometriosis, etc and they couldn't figure it out. Even on birth control it wasn't perfect, I still had pretty intense periods that werent as bad but I also had quite a few side effects. Finally, after having 3 kids at 34, I was able to get my hysterectomy 3 weeks ago. Today, I had a post-op appointment with my doctor where she told me according to the biopsy, I had adenomyosis and that was the issue I have had since starting my period. It honestly has been freeing in a sense to finally have a name for what I went through especially when I researched it afterwards and almost every symptom I have had but felt like it must be only in my head because nearly everyone else it wasn't that bad for and we never knew why it was so bad me. I am so grateful that my doctor actually listened to me and helped me even before we had a name for what was happening to me. I just had to share somewhere because I had never heard of this condition before and if I had known I would have maybe asked the doctors about it before.

Dinner tonight is a Chicken Caesar Salad because it is too hot for anything else.

creme brulee donut

Let me preface this by saying, growing up a lot of boys bullied me. I’d have people asking if I was trans all the time bc the bone in my neck protrudes a little and they’d call it an adam’s apple. Comments about how my arms are hairy for a girls. That there’s something “off” about me. Also I love trans people I am not coming for them with this post at all and please let me know if anything I’m saying could be offensive.

Now as an adult, I feel like I have constant gender dysphoria if I feel like anything about me is too masculine. I grow a couple thick hairs on the bottom of my chin and when I can feel them coming in I freak out. Hate how much body hair I grow it makes me feel like a monster bc I feel like it’s so much more than the average woman. Even have a some thick hairs that grow in the happy trail area. Around the nipples too. My hands are not feminine and I am tall too. I want to be seen as pretty and girly though. I’m always worried if someone thinks I look too boyish. I feel like it’s making me go crazy.

[edit: thanks for all the replies! It’s nice to see how many people can relate and you guys are really informative]

Fuck Donald Trump. Fuck his minions. Fuck his followers. It's bad enough that I have to worry about my girls, my trans child, their education, the environment, being priced out of life... Now I can't have any goddamned lettuce or tomatoes on my goddamned sandwich because he also took away any fucking oversight and fucked over the farmers so now we'll get poisoned if we eat that shit .

And its too fucking hot to grow my own!

FUCK! 😉 But seriously....

certified plate of brown, chicken and noodles for dinner

I have been working for a veterinary remote company for over a year and have received nothing but “exceeds expectation” at my performance reviews. I even worked for them all the way across the world for 3 months without missing a beat.

Why was I across the world? My husband was getting treated for a severe spine injury. He has been out of work for over 2 years and I make our only income. When we found out he had undiagnosed Spondylolithesis for a decade and was at risk of paralysis, we lost a lot. By pure chance we were able to travel to Japan to get him cheaper care thanks to friends who lived there giving us a room to stay in, I worked through th night with this remote job to maintain us while also still paying rent for our place back in the states. Even with all that, the cost compared to his care in the US was insane ($4000 for one MRI here in America but in Japan the full consult with complete imaging was $600). You can only do so much with a tourist visa though, and we need a large sum of money upfront to apply for the medical visa he needs for the surgery the doctors in Japan said he needs to maintain the ability to walk. My husband’s line of work involved making costumes (think like power rangers or Ultraman) so we decided to have a 24/7 live stream where he makes a costume on stream and people would donate to the cause while enjoying learning his craft.

I shared the livestream internally within my company in hopes people would watch or share the story. This company was a life saver when I had to work remote and help my husband while he was unable to do daily tasks. I thought they were trustworthy, a small private owned company with less than 100 employees.

Well today I learned someone was using the stream to document when I was on camera during work hours (they have 20 minutes total of footage, less than how much an allowed break is in my paperwork). I only found out that it was an issue when they were on video call firing me. Before this, I was told I was having “Remote Desktop connection issues” but it seems that was all a lie and they are calling it time card fraud. It doesn’t matter that I still completed all my work on time or that I was an exemplary employee or that I was just trying to raise money for my husband to get medical care.

So now our only method of income is shot. I wa already puddle jumping bills and sold two big ticket items last month just to make rent. I really don’t know what I will do right now. I feel so burned by everything and everyone.

EDIT TO ADD since a lot of people seem focused on this:

I am not currently in japan and neither is my husband. The whole point of the fundraiser is the get the funds to apply for the visa to return. We are live streaming from our home in North Carolina. Sorry for any confusion. I do not think that is related to me being fired, I only included for context on why the fundraiser livestream was needed

homemade chicken and dumplings for me, my partner and roommate

i have struggled with body dysmorphia my entire life. in high school i couldn’t get dressed without sobbing. my relationship with my body has gotten better over time, but i still really struggle with insecurity.

i graduated college in may, and writing my senior thesis + finals was really hard, i very much neglected my health during this time as all my energy went to cerebral work. right now im focusing on getting healthier after this period of neglect.

while talking to my partner of 6 years about all of this and what i want for myself, i asked him, “what would you prefer me look like?”

his exact response was “i would not impose my evil male gaze upon something as sublime as the feminine form.”

hehehe i really found a good one early (i’m 22)

Hi all! Just wanted to share a spot of happiness in the world. My mother was diagnosed with multiple myeloma cancer (bone cancer) 13 years ago now, and after many treatments, it was looking like shes low on options.

She just started a new clinical trial and after only 2 doses, her cancer numbers are now unmeasureable!!! The side effects have been lower than most treatments (still significant) but Q.O.L. is staying good 🥰

In addition, I was accepted into a single PhD position that just happens to be an hour from home, so I can visit and support when she needs.

Im super happy and hope this brightens someone's day ❤️ Life sometimes sucks, but it also sometimes aligns in ways that dont suck - so keep going because you'll get there one day!

Dinner is powdered beignets 😋

Edit: Thank you all for the wonderful kind words! 😊

I made a NY strip with truffle parm goodles, blistered tomatoes, and bacon wrapped asparagus.

A little over a month ago, I (30F) broke up with my boyfriend of 10 months for being controlling and talking down to me. I’ve been a bit of a hermit and focusing on my mental and physical health. I have been keeping up with the World Cup because I played soccer the majority of my life. I was excited to watch the England vs Argentina game, so I got a little group together and we took off work early to watch the game at my favorite sports bar in my city which is in Texas.

I was secretly hoping that maybe I could meet some cute guys while watching the game and chat it up a bit. I looked cute and had on my little England jersey crop top on.

After the game ended with England losing, I went to the bathroom and as I was walking back to my friends, a young, attractive British man stopped me, and this is how the conversation went:

Asshole: Are you even English?

Me: Yeah

Asshole: Not with that accent, you’re not

Me: My father is from England, I am from here

Asshole *gets within an inch from my face and yells* FUCK YOU, YOU’RE NOT ENGLISH

Me: oKaY

I hurried back to my table, obviously upset at what just happened since I was minding my own damn business. I spent the rest of my afternoon with my adrenaline through the roof and thinking of what I could have done or said. I was genuinely so taken aback in the moment.

I truly don’t know where these men get off. I’m so done with the whole lot of them. Pathetic, fucking assholes.

Thanks for listening to my TED Talk.

My bestie has been "trolling" people in our friend group by pretending to like this RANDOM guy. I told her to stop it's getting weird and she laughed it off. One day she sent me a video of her barking on her knees for this guy. So I told her to stop actually it's getting to a point. She said she will delete it and I said ok.

Later she frantically called me and told me to check our friend gc with like 30 people cause it branches out to mutuals and other friends. So it turns out when sharing to me she accidentally shared it to the gc when she was trying to unselect them. Everyone is saying she's a desperate pig and shared it to something else I think.

Now she's crying and we're going to go to her house and eat ice cream while she rants about it... Also half of our friends stopped talking to her out of embarrassment so yeah.

TO BE CLEAR SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HIM 😭 NEVER INTERACTED JUST RANDOMLY FOUND HIM AND STARTED MAKING A JOKE UNTIL THIS. ( 17 )

Update post here: https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/comments/1uyo82c/update_video_got_out_of_bsf_barking_on_her_knees/

This is a true girl dinner I had recently on a rare night alone.

Regarding the title. My husband is chatty. He loves to talk on the phone to his friends, to family, to me, to strangers sometimes. I loathe talking on the phone. So usually he calls me up while he’s driving, tells me about his day, etc. Same as he does with his friends. Sometimes I overhear his calls with his friends and it just seems like they’re waiting for their turn to talk. I do not understand this at all! If I call my friends it’s probably an emergency!

Today he was wrapping up and he said to me “all right man, talk to you later” and then he was immediately a little embarrassed LOL. I think he was hoping I didn’t notice. I just laughed it off.

Banging Chinese food

Happened some time ago, basically when me and my bf started dating, I think it was the third/fourth time we did it😂 I haven’t had sex with many guys before him and sex with those guys have always just felt physical, nothing more. It’s not that I didn’t like it, it just never felt like this person wants me, just that this person wants to have sex with me, yk? I never deeped it though.

It was like that until my now bf came along. It was Valentine’s Day and he cooked me dinner at my place after an unusually long day and we had an at home candle lit date. He got me a massive bouquet of roses already put in my vase, presents, and a lovely filled out card which I was the most happy about (my love language is words). Amazing Conversations this and that, got ready for bed and started doing it. He was just so gentle, and nervous at the same time it was honestly rlly cute. And he stared into my eyes the whole time, didn’t wanna do any other position other than the ones where he could see my face. Kisses me everywhere, but kisses my face the most. Compliments me so much, I’ve never felt so close to someone. I finally understood what it means to have sex to truly connect with someone. It was amazing, I felt so loved from the sex and all the moments leading up to it that I started crying. He was a bit startled and asked me if I was okay and if he did something wrong. I think he was scared he’d hurt me. And I just bawled even more and told him all this, and he started laughing and telling me it’s okay and that he’s happy he made me feel loved bcs he rlly wanted to show it. And that he’s sorry I’ve never felt this way before. Then happy endings happy endings then sleep with me in his arms 😆😆😆😆

TW/ drug lacing mentions
Hi girlies- this isn't a full on trauma dump more of a cautionary tale but I want to encourage everyone to be careful with who they get/share joints with since I don't see it talked about often & hadn't heard of it much before it happened to me!

Lots of people know about spiked drinks but some people intentionally lace joints (and cigarettes) too- i once smoked a joint laced with meth and ended up losing my job bc I showed up to work the next day high on meth- and only know it was laced bc I ended up in the hospital with mania and they drug tested me. I've also smoked a joint someone gave me at a queer event that was laced with something that made me sleepy and a little confused and everything a little fuzzy. Things could have easily ended up a lot worse in both situations.

long story short- please be as cautious with accepting weed/smokables or sharing hits with strangers that you don't know the intentions of as much as you would be with getting a drink from a stranger where you didn't see the bartender pour it. Be safe out there girlypops xoxoxoxo

Edited to add- meal is crappy egg scramble with leftover ham mushroom onion and thyme from my garden

im 20F. Im extremely shy when it comes to just about anything. I’m already a bit self conscious because his past girlfriends were a lot more experienced than I am. They probably had it all figured out and I’ve never even went down there on anyone. But I love him so much and I constantly find myself thinking about wanting to make him feel good. I just don’t know how to be not awkward about it.

I brought it up kind of like a joke the other day (but I was lowkey serious) and I was like, “how would you feel if I did the thing with my mouth??”😭😭. He seemed shocked and his eyes widened at me, and he kind of chuckled. he must have thought I was joking, but I was being dead serious. He’s one of those respectful gentalmanlike guys. I don’t want to feel like a freak for asking

Birria tacos ( my first time trying them!). Basically Monday a coworker comes downstairs to ask me something and then goes “are you pregnant?” In front of everybody.

I’m not. I’m not trying either. Nor am I close to this coworker literally at ALL. I’ve been struggling w weight gain the last year which means at work I’m in xxl tshirts and baggy pants but in the last 6 weeks I’ve been working out, moving more, eating better, etc and now I just feel so embarrassed/ defeated almost.

It just came out of nowhere and I was facing away from her basically so I’m not sure what about me looked it. I said “no” and went back to my work and she lingered with this grin on her face. Mind you this woman is probably 45 years older than me.

I feel embarrassed and just down and idk why I’m still thinking about it

Sushi time!

I had to request security to escort me to my car bc I didn't know if a creeper was waiting for me outside. He was following me around inside the establishment and even asked me for my number. I waited for him to leave, and while he left, he kept looking at me through the glass doors. That's when I didn't feel safe walking to my car alone.

It's not a big deal, I handled it safely by asking for security. It's no biggie if i didn't mention it to hubby, right? it's a place I frequent and have never had any problems. Mostly, I would hate for him to discourage me from going.

okay. maybe i’m gonna get some steak is so juicy comments for this but, i cannot stop attracting men who want to dominate and control me?? first of all im an aries and come from a long line of men-beating women. it’s not even that i don’t like to be dommed and little but it always comes out right in the beginning of talking to someone?? like same day of meeting their like “obey your master” “be a good girl” blah, like??? uhhhh i’d rather bite every finger off than be like ok daddy tehe. FUCK.NO. i will ruin your life. what is it about needing to control me??

genuinely i don’t even reject this energy, WHEN IVE KNOWN THEM LONG ENOUGH THAT I TRUST THEM. i get the ick so fast once it comes out on day one. i don’t want that energy anywhere near me, it’s performative and frankly majorly lazy. if you can’t flirt just say that, “obey your master” fuck outta here, blocked.

rant over :) chicken caesar salad

I was raised by a pretty controlling mother who conditioned me to be a people pleaser. Growing up, I often did things I didn't want to do to make other people happy because I was taught that other people's wants (especially her's) were more important than my own. I'm 30 now, and I'm still unlearning that conditioning. Even today, I tend to agree to things that I don't really want to do because I'm worried people will get mad at me or not want me in their life anymore if I say no. I'm learning to be better about honoring my own wants and saying no without feeling guilty or over-explaining myself.

My girlfriend works at a recreation center, and she got me to join their recreational volleyball league. Three weeks ago during a game, I slid for a ball and landed really hard on my left knee. Even though I was wearing knee pads, it hurt really badly. I had to take a break from yoga for a bit to let it recover (which was really hard for me because my mental health is very dependent upon my ability to do yoga regularly.)

Last week, there was another game, and even though I tried to be careful, I ended up reinjuring my knee. I also didn't play well because I was so worried about hurting my knee again that I was holding back. I know I probably shouldn't have gone, but I put pressure on myself to go because people on the team see me as one of the better players and I didn't want everyone else to be disappointed. I talked to my girlfriend after the game because she could tell I was in a really pissy mood about my knee being hurt again. I told her I probably wouldn't come to next week's (now today's) game because I really need my knee to be better so I can get back to doing yoga regularly.

My girlfriend texted me earlier today "You're not coming today right?" (likely because she was putting together the line-up for the game) and at first, I did what I usually do. I drafted a bunch of responses explaining that I really wanted to go but that I didn't want to re-injure my knee again and to tell the team I'm sorry and making a bunch of excuses. But then I deleted all of that and just replied with "Yeah I’m not."

I'm proud of me. I know it probably seems pretty minor, but when you're raised to believe that what other people want is more important than what you want, even small instances of saying "no" to people can be challenging.

Featured food: Chicken nuggets, brazilian cheese bites, and mashed avocado

I walked outside to put water out for the birds since the next two days, I know I wouldn’t be able to go outside (air quality from wildfires- I’m in the middle of Ohio) When i walked back in, I couldn’t breathe very well. I was wheezing, breathing swallow, and ended up needing my inhaler 2x.

My husband just continued to play his video game despite me passing him and walking into the bathroom (which is right next to where he was).

After a couple of minutes he’s yelling from the couch “what’s going on/what’s wrong?”, and I couldn’t respond. After I started breathing well again, I went back to the living room and told him I couldn’t breathe. He then told me that “I shouldn’t have gone outside”, that I was “being dramatic” and that ‘I wasn’t dying’.

Bagel with cinnamon honey butter

Update: No, I don’t have a diagnosed lung disease. Just asthma. I rarely use my inhaler. I went out to the store 3 hours earlier to grab milk, etc before the worst of it hits us tomorrow and Saturday. The air wasn’t great but it wasn’t like how it is now.

Update #2: I had no idea asthma was considered a lung disease! Well ya learn something new everyday! 😂

Update #3: again, I RARELY use my inhaler, maybe once a year…I’ve just educated myself on asthma as so many people asked how I didn’t know it was a lung disease. I have never had breathing tests done (spirometry). I had some wheezing a couple of years ago after having pneumonia, doctor said an inhaler should help, and that she thinks I might have allergy induced asthma. Never have had any allergy tests. I do really appreciate the more empathic comments informing me about asthma 💕

Hello. I just had my third baby and am barely a week post third C-section. I love my new little girl.

However, this pregnancy has not been easy. It started with my husband admitting he hasn't had romantic feelings for me for years. I cried a lot during the last nine months. Mourning the romantic relationship I always wanted to have. A supportive partner I could trust with my heart.

I've been doing what I can to try and mend the relationship in this time. While he refuses to quit drinking and only recently started to agree to not use hitting as discipline for our children, he struggles with being reassuring. Kind words go far with me and it seems he withholds.or really doesn't have anything kind to say. Being mean or critical comes more naturally to him regarding me.

Two days ago I was home on maternity leave with the newborn. It was a rough day as I hadn't slept the night before. I was on baby duty then, of course. Then that evening I made everyone dinner and struggled immensely trying to get my oldest son's bags packed for an overnight school trip. Imagine a very sore mama trying to dig through closets for stuff for an hour and a half. I ended up finishing at around nine thirty at night. I was becoming so frustrated, sore and uncomfortable I started crying. My incision hurt from dragging out heavy boxes and leaning over so much. He was drinking and playing video games. He asked my why I was crying and I told him. Then he went back to video games. I ended up crying in the shower and skipping my dinner.

He agreed to watch the baby that night and was heading to bed early. I was uncomfortable with him doing it after drinking a whole bottle of wine but I was so exhausted. Either way I felt unloved and neglected so I asked him if he even liked me.

He called me insecure and questioned how I could have had a hard day if I was home all day.

I went to bed.

I'm sorry this was long but my chest hurts and there is no end in sight.

He's not a bad guy. In fact he's often on this reddit page trying to post consoling messages to other women.

It's just me, I guess.

When I was heavily pregnant, right after he promised to help more with house stuff, he got shingles. I was still working full time and now had to handle two boys and the house alone every morning and evening. I didn't even complain even though it was very hard. I'm mentioning this because I thought it would make him happier with me. Or to appreciate me.

It didn't.

I'm not asking for advice. Just venting.

Don't let people treat you like this. That's going to be a lesson I will pass down to my daughter.

Never accept less than you deserve.