I have 2 kids, ages 12m and 9f. I have reached the ages where I can leave them alone for short periods of time together while I go for a run down the street.

Running is my preferred method of exercise, and this kind of freedom to not have to time my runs before my husband leaves for work has been great, life-changing even. I almost feel like a whole independent adult again, just getting to do this one thing for me on my terms.

But recently my daughter has said that she does not want me to go while she is sleeping. That she doesn’t like waking up to the house empty, which I get, but she rarely wakes up when I’m out, I’m nearly always back before she wakes up. Plus, she has her 12 year old brother there, and there is a phone where they can reach me.

I have held off when she’s asked me not to go because I don’t want her to feel unsafe, but I feel like at this point I should be able to run down the road for 20 minutes. Nothing bad has happened when I’ve been gone. She tends to deal with a lot of anxiety, so I’m not sure if I should accommodate it or let her deal with it. What say yall?

My son is 11 years old, and he is handsome. Last school year, there were two girls who had crushes on him. Surely, he was oblivious about it.

Do I start to give him a relationship (romance) talk? How do parents approach this?

how can he do this…why can he do this? Why do some children just be born and suddenly become equipped with useless life skills at random times. He cannot pee pee in a plastic pot yet but he can wipe up the mess he made. I’m not even sure he watches ME brush my hair. He just grabbed my brush out of my hand and brushed his hair and walked off. I feel like I just found out my dog could talk or something. First time parenting is scary. what if he knows how to do more stuff than me while being 20 years younger than me!! You cannot tell me they just suddenly think to themselves ”oh yeah wipe and brush I know what to do with those”. AHHHH!!!

Hello! I’m having a hard time figuring out the right balance between work and being a mom, and I’d love to hear from parents who have been through something similar.

I worked really hard for my career, 4 years in school and about 4 years building my experience. Until recently, my husband stayed home with our 6-month-old while I worked. He just accepted a new job that pays about the same as mine, so now we’re trying to figure out what our new normal looks like.

My current job is very flexible and doesn’t require a lot of hours each day. I usually only have 1–2 meetings that would require a nanny to be with the baby. Before my husband got this job, I was interviewing for another position that would pay about $40k more than I make now. It sounds like a great opportunity, but it would almost certainly require more hours and more childcare, especially in the beginning. It would be a good move financially and career wise.

I’m also exclusively breastfeeding. I really dislike pumping, and my daughter loves nursing. I’d like to continue breastfeeding for another 3–6 months.
We tried having a nanny before, but it was heartbreaking. My daughter cried almost the entire time, and hearing her while I worked in the other room was incredibly difficult. She’s a very happy chill baby with me, so it made me question whether I want to rely on childcare right now.

Part of me is proud of the career I’ve built and doesn’t want to step away from it. It’s in tech so I don’t think I can pause and come back like some careers. Another part of me wonders if I should ask my current employer about going part-time (even though likely it be a big pay cut and same amount of work now just flexibility in meetings) I also like the financial security of working, saving for retirement, and planning for the future. Being financially stable is something that gives me peace and a goal I’ve been working towards for a long time.

On top of that, we want another baby someday (1-2 years out from trying). Working while pregnant and during the early postpartum period was really hard on me, and I’m honestly exhausted just thinking about doing it again.

One thing we know for sure is that we don’t want to use daycare, and even if we did, there are very few openings where we live.

For those of you who have gone through this stage of life, what did you do? Looking back, what would you recommend? I’m trying to think long-term, but right now it feels like every option comes with big trade-offs.

I have two kids, same sex, very close in age (1 school year apart) and I’m losing the will to live when it comes to the arguments and competition between them.

I don’t know that their temperament matters much as I know other peoples’ kids fight, but I would love any and all advice on how other parents handle this.

Any time I think of doing something nice or something useful that will help our daily life, I know it will end in arguments because of the competition and the “that’s not fair” that will inevitably happen.

Each kid wants some alone time with me, but neither of them enjoy being the one not having it and often ruin it for the other.

I’m not sure how it’s gotten to this point because I’ve tried so hard to never compare the two or make either feel more loved than the other, yet this animosity and competition persists.

It’s gotten to the point I’m dreading the school holidays because I envision days of arguing and trying to maintain equilibrium.

Help!!!

Hey y'all.

Context: 3 daughters, 4 1/2, nearly 3, and 5 months

Our middle daughter, who usually is our wacky and hilarious wildcard of a child, has suddenly started the silent treatment randomly, and we aren't sure how to feel about it.

The first time was a couple days ago, when we were told she didn't say a word all day at day care. She was acting normal through drop off. This continued into the evening until right before dinner she finally chose her food verbally. The rest of the evening was back to normal. She mentioned that she was sad Mommy wasn't with her during the day.

Yesterday was fine, went to the zoo and park all day, were exhausted but had a blast.

Now again this morning before daycare, not a word since waking up, all the way to daycare. This morning she nodded when I asked if she was tired.

She turns 3 tomorrow, and we have a family birthday party, and she is doing cookies with her class at daycare today. I was thinking this might be stressing her out, but I don't feel like we've been pushing it too much. When I ask if she is excited about the party or sharing cookies with her friends, she nods. She shows little emotion while silent, with an occasional small smile, but otherwise just blank faced nodding and pointing is all we get when she acts this way.

Anybody experienced something similar or have tips? We aren't pushing her to talk, but asking questions with options so she has to say one or the other on occasion. Just worried because it's the opposite of her normal personality.

To keep it short-ish...brushing teeth for my SS12 is a twice-daily ordeal. That isn't surprising but I get frustrated with the reminders, listening for the brushing, watching the brushing, checking that toothpaste was used, etc because I'm the only one doing it. My husband doesn't care if his kid brushes.

When I complained to 2 friends, one said that she only brushes her preschooler's teeth 1x per day, and the other said that she lets her kid face natural consequences of having fuzzy teeth.

I'm not interested in natural consequences because I want my SS to build habits & routines. I honestly thought this was basic & now I feel so alone in my principles! My husband says I'm the only person that cares about this and I should just let it go, but obv I'm not going to. But it would be so great to have support.

Can anyone out there please confirm that they feel like brushing 2x a day is really important?? 😭 ​

My oldest have had some coughing problems for some time and her GP prescribed asthma meds and a inhaler with a face mask. All good and dandy.

But she hates it. Full on crying and being scared when seeing it. I'm single so I don't have someone to help me, so I need all tips and tricks there is to make this work!

There is one dose every morning and evening, plus extra if needed during daytime. I was told i can try do it in her sleep in the evenings, not an optimal position but better than nothing according the the pharmacist. But I dont see that working at other times 😭

Don't get me wrong, I love my kids more than life itself and I have a great relationship with them. We do hobbies together, we talk about anything and everything, we share interests, we spend so much time together, and I love it.

HOWEVER. I find that the most energy draining thing about being a parent is forcing kids to do stuff they don't want to do. It can be small or big things, but they happen every day and it's one of the biggest energy drains for me personally. Of course, it's worse with young kids, but even older ones (tweens or slightly younger) can be very stubborn sometimes.

Endless debates! They just won't stop talking. They know they're wrong, but of course, it's about emotions, and those can't be debated away. And often, not doing the thing isn't really an option. Repetition works in some cases (chores), but of course that means reminding them every time, because even if they're willing to do the thing, they will forget unless reminded.

Do you agree that this is draining, how do you handle it, and do you wish you handled some of these situations differently than you do?

Examples of things kids might not want to do:

- Go outside

- Brush their teeth

- Move slightly to the left so they don't start a fight with their sibling because they're in each others' space

- Wear shoes outside

- Clean up after they made a mess

- Eat food they usually love but absolutely NOT today

- Lower their voice

and so on

Hi all, I have a 10 year old girl who is really sweet, funny and kind but she also can be a total nightmare emotionally.

Typical scenario: She was in a school play last night and after getting home she asked me "What was the funniest part?" I mentioned a couple of things but couldn't remember the specific names of the characters. I see her twitching, she angrily corrects me on the names of the actors/roles I got wrong.

This one didn't blow up, we got through it without major incident, but they often do. Sometimes she will make some obscure reference to something that happened a year ago then grill me about if I remember it, or lead me down a conversational mine field. It's like she constantly looking for evidence that I don't like her or care about her

She is constantly laying traps for me and I don't know what to do. As a result of this I probably give her more thought and attention than her 3yo sister just because she is more emotionally needy but she absolutely does not see it that way.

Any tips???

I have an 18 month old daughter, she has super fine silky hair that’s wavy in the back.

It’s gotten so long and she’s started to actually look like a girl which elated me after everyone always thinking she was a boy.
It had grown so long that it kept getting in her eyes and she didn’t really like wearing clips or having her hair up. I figured I’d cut some bangs only up to her eyebrows.

FML.

I cut it but she was looking down when I did it, so it ended up being WAY too short. Like mini bangs.
She looks like she has a mullet now.

I genuinely felt so sick to my stomach and was fighting back tears when I saw the hack job I did. That was the first time her hair has ever been cut at all, so I felt a million times worse because that was the hair that has been there since she was in my belly.

Obviously I’m just going to have to wait until it grows out again, and accept the situation, but I seriously am kicking myself for this.

Praying that her hair grows quickly, but not so sure about that lol

​

This might be a long post so please bear with me. We have a 3.5 year old daughter, but we're currently struggling in terms of how to deal with her emotions, tantrums and meltdowns. Lately we feel like her mood and decisions change by the second. I will give a couple of examples that happened the past week and how we're trying to deal with them or not to deal with them:

- We woke up all happy and jolly, my daughter told me to go downstairs to the living room. I told her okay, and as we were going down the stairs she stopped mid way and said I don't want to go downstairs and just stopped. I ask her what happened? why don't you want to go downstairs anymore? is there something wrong? no answer, just a tilted head and her making grumpy sounds and saying I don't want to go downstairs. After trying to make her talk and express why the sudden change and failing, I just left her at the stairs. She cried for like 5 mins or so, slowly went downstairs by herself and all of a sudden she was back to normal.

- She told me she wanted a bell shaped like a unicorn for her new bike. The very next day I bought her one, and I was overjoyed to surprise her after daycare with her new bell! She was super happy to see it and told me to install it on her bike. I started installing it where it should go, and then she started crying and saying no I want it placed down (basically on the lower section of the bar right above the wheel).

I explained why it's a bad idea and that she might fall down trying to ring the bell that way and that it should be up right next to her hand just like my bell and her mom's bike bell. She got triggered again and started crying. Her mom hugged her and tried explaining things to her and then told her okay so we won't install the bell for you now. The next day she asks me to install the bell in the correct place, but I tell her that because the first thing she did when she received a gift was not to say thank you and made a scene out of it, you're now punished and you can't have your bell for 3 days. She took that well, but I don't think she understood why she couldn't have the bell.

- Then there's the everyday madness trying to make her get dressed. If she wants to wear a certain thing and we say no, then reality shatters and she just falls on the floor and starts crying. sometimes we just give in and tell her okay on whatever she picks just to spare ourselves from a battle at 7 in the morning. But sometimes it's just something that's really stupid that triggers her such as her saying that she wants to wear an undershirt and us saying it's way too hot outside to wear one and she would collapse.

I know girls her age are full of emotions, and her thoughts are all over the place. But how can we navigate through this maze in a way that doesn't hurt our daughter emotionally and spares us as well. We feel that whatever we do and offer her goes down the drain when she does those actions.

We got her books that are suitable for her age that describe anger, cheerfulness etc. and we try to go over them frequently but guess what 5 mins after reading them she does the exact opposite.

Sorry for the long post, it felt like I needed to vent out but also get some practical tips from other parents or professionals.

I’m afraid we are about to shoot ourselves in the foot. My son is 4.5 yrs, will start kindergarten in fall 2027. He has been in a very nice, educational (pricey) daycare for the past two years. But now my husband is losing his job, and it will take a while to find a new one due to his field of work. So we are going to cancel daycare next month and my husband will watch him most days of the week while he works on getting situated with his next form of income.

Our current daycare doesn’t offer part time, so that’s not an option to cut cost. I’m hoping in a few months we’ll be back in our feet and can start looking for a part time daycare/preschool, but seems like everywhere near us has already closed applications for 2026-2027 year.

So there’s a good chance my son will end up going from no daycare/preK directly into starting kindergarten.

We’re going to utilize all the learning opportunities we can like library story time, weekly play dates with friends, workbooks and educational time at home.

But I’m worried my son will be really behind come next fall. Are we totally screwed?

Our 20 month old was recently sick (Chicken pox) and it has been 10 days and she’s eating and playing like normal again. With nanny and at daycare she’s an absolute angel - her happy playful self. But the minute she’s with us alone, some switch flips. She throws herself on the floor, cries and basically just goes full toddler tantrum mode.

So we followed the advice, get down at her level, name the feeling and help her regulate. Didn’t work.

Next thing what we tried was, get down at her level but not talk and let it pass. Most of the time, after some (very long) minutes, it passes. But sometimes it doesn’t or any other movement resets it. Something as simple as a sneeze.

Today, we were exhausted and we ignored her completely and it went quite quicker but we weren’t doing anything else either. We were just sitting down in our chairs.

So my question is - Can we continue to cook, or do any household chores and ignore her cries? The screaming is debilitating and I already suffer from severe anxiety. We both get overstimulated really quickly.

Every activity that she previously liked, she now hates. We give her choices, nothing. Is she bored? Is this a phase? Is she still sick? What should we do?

Hey everyone, I’m a dad of two boys, ages 6 and 8, and I’m a big book lover. The problem is, I can’t seem to concentrate with my boys constantly playing, tossing things around, and keeping the house full of energy.

I know this is part of having kids, and I love them dearly, but I’m curious how other parents, especially dads, handle this. Do you have routines, quiet time rules, or certain spots in the house where you can actually read and focus?

I’d really appreciate any advice or tips that have worked for you.

Recently, I placed a stack of panty liners in a bathroom cubby next to a sentimental item — a hand-painted figurine from my mom’s old gift shop. I realize now that leaving both in a shared space may not have been the best idea.

There’s a 6-year-old girl who lives here. She took all of the pads, opened them, stuck them around the sink, and later stuffed them away. When I came back, my figurine had also been thrown into the trash and buried underneath things. The pads were completely wasted, and the figurine could have been permanently damaged. I tried bringing it up to her parents, but they didn’t seem very responsive. The mom seemed overwhelmed, and the dad didn’t react much.

- I don’t understand if this is normal behavior for a 6-year-old or something more, I don’t know how to interact with her moving forwardWe used to have a kind of “big sis / little sis” dynamic, and I’d like to get back to a place where she respects me and others, but I also know she’s just a child and not mine to parent.

I’ve studied some psychology, so part of me wonders if this is attention-seeking, poor boundaries, or something going on at home — but I don’t want to overanalyze or overstep

- Is this kind of behavior normal for a 6-year-old in a shared environment? Or is the best approach to completely disengage and just protect my belongings better?

Since becoming a mom I stay up as late as humanly possible even though I’m exhausted. Night time is the only time that I am completely alone and can watch my shows, scroll on my phone etc. I wish I could be one of those people who values sleep more than that time.

We've been thinking about checking out one of the local World Cup fan zones this weekend because it honestly looks like a fun atmosphere.The only thing I'm kind of on the fence about is how loud it's going to be. Between the giant screens, music, commentators, and a crowd of people all cheering at once, I imagine it could get pretty overwhelming for a little kid.Our 2 yr old usually does fine in busy places,I don't want to skip it if I'm just overthinking things, but I also don't want to get there and realize it's way too much for him. Has anyone taken a toddler to a fan zone before?

I have a 15 yo boy who I coparent with his dad who lives about an hour away. My kid’s school, friends and activities are close to our home so he is mostly here during school but mostly with his dad during summer. He got into a summer leadership program recently and was very excited, but he hasn’t been going while he’s at his dad’s. He has been with his dad for three weeks now. He had summer activities and stuff, but my kid didn’t even attempt to organize going to any leadership group events. We’ve had a trip planned for months that is coming up and now he’s saying how is he going to go to the leadership event when we’re away? I said well you have known you wouldn’t be here during those dates, and you could’ve asked your dad to take you over the past three weeks but you didn’t, so I’m sorry but all I can do is take you if there is an event on while we are in town. He got pissed and snapped at me.

Edit: I do try to communicate stuff like this to his dad where possible, but I feel my kid should be taking at least some responsibility at this age for his own extracurriculars.

I know how this sounds but my kid really isn’t entitled. He is not materialistic or whiny. He is reasonable about going out with friends and doing chores, and does well in school and does what I ask of him. This is part of a pattern where when anything goes wrong, it is my responsibility, never dad’s. He never blames his dad for anything and has zero expectations of him. Whereas I’m the one who is expected to always be there, take him places, help him with you name it, etc. I get it that this is “safe parent” stuff. There has been past trauma between my kid and his dad. However in the past 3-4 years his dad has legitimately been listening to him better and is trying hard. While there was past shitty behaviour on his dad’s part, there has never been abuse.

Is it a realistic expectation that by 15 my teen should start to understand that it isn’t fair to hold me to these kids of standards while not doing so with his dad? I love my kid so much and love being his safe harbour. But it’s exhausting being blamed for things that aren’t my fault and aren’t entirely even my responsibility. How do I balance these things? I also want to be aware of the gender dynamic of my male child expecting more of me as a woman than his dad.

Parenting is staying absolutely still in a contorted position for 9 hours while thinking “I want to sleep but not as badly as I want YOU to sleep.”

That’s all.

I am struggling with the idea of telling my 5 year old about her 9 year old cousin dying in an accident. She loved him and was pretty close to him. We have had the death discussion before when her great great grandfather died, and she has asked questions here and there about it ever since.

My main worry is that I don’t want her thinking that it can or will happen to her right now. She understands that with her grandfather, he died because he was old and it’s a natural part of life. But the circumstances are different and this was not natural.

Lying to her doesn’t feel like the right move either. What do I do?

I have an upcoming LONG journey to take alone with my kids. I will be traveling from Singapore to New York with my 2 year old and 5 year old sons. The 5 year old is pretty chill and easily contained with TV and snacks. The 2 year old on the other hand....he's a friendly menace. He's cute and happy but he's got boundless energy. "chill" is not a word one would use. He's also been screen free so TV doesn't really get him occupied for long.

My options are:
1) Fly direct (Singapore Airlines): Strap in for a non-stop 19 hour flight and pray for the best.
2) Fly with a layover (Emirates): Flight broken up with 7 hours on first leg, layover, and 14 hours after that. The layover would be in Dubai which is an amazing airport. I imagine the break could potentially help both kids not go stir crazy in the airplane.

Thankfully I expect to be able to fly business. So I'll have some comfort on the flight.

If you were me - which option would you choose and why?

I have a 15mo daughter and she is the love of my life.
But every night I just cry bc I feel like I’m doing such a shit job at being a mom. I’m a SAHM mom so she is quite literally my only priority but I still catch myself prioritizing chores and myself over her. I get so over stimulated so quickly and I don’t know why. My husband works a lot (50-60 hour weeks) but when he’s home he’s so patient and loving towards her and seems to truly enjoy playing with her. Why do I get so frustrated after a few min? Why is every spill a big deal for me. Why am I not letting her be a kid and scream and explore and make a mess. I was raised in a way where I would be getting yelled at for everything and my emotions were suppressed so why am I doing the same to my own baby.
she throws tantrums now and I find myself yelling at her a few times a day and I hate it so bad.

Why can’t I dive into this role of a mother why do I still feel like I’m losing myself and need to find myself when I have a little girl looking up to me all day long. Why can’t I be happy and cheerful and fall in love with motherhood. I feel like I’m always looking for a life savor or helping hand to come and save me from dealing with the hard parts of motherhood when it’s been over a year and I should know by know that this is my life. She is my baby no one will come and do my job for me.

when i found out i was pregnant, i was actively saving up to move out with my boyfriend. then that plan kinda derailed since we had to spend most of it on baby stuff.
so we decided to stay living with my mom and 2 siblings, my baby is 7 months old.
is there anything wrong with my baby being raised in a house with my mom and siblings?
sometimes i feel guilty for it, for not having our own home, for having baby stuff everywhere. it doesn’t bother my mom or my siblings, does anyone have experience with this?
i’m going to add, we’re saving up to move out, im hoping we’re gone by the time my baby is 2-3, id rather be financially stable than struggle. i help pay the bills, the rent, groceries, anything my mom needs. and i do NOT use my mom as a live in babysitter. me and my baby will go and sit with her, my baby will play with her, but everything else is on me obviously. if my baby cries, i don’t immediately expect my mom or siblings to grab her. i just wanted to clarify that before posting

I wanted to give some background for my son, who is 29 years old. He lived with me through the age of eighteen. When he reached legal age, he moved in with his mom. In the 11 years since, he’s had four jobs, with none lasting more than a few months.

All jobs were left suddenly and without notice. Most of the 11 years has been spent not working or doing anything. He has not owned a car, bought clothes, or saved. He’s had the attitude that we as his parents OWE him to take care of him still. His aunt referred him to a job where he would have been hired, but we recently learned he never applied.

His mom gave him until August 1 to get out, and he reached out to me. I want to give him a shot, but want to set guidelines in place AHEAD of time such as the amount of time to get his own place, work, etc. I feel bad about it but I feel with the history it has to be done.

Has anyone had to do this with adult children, and if so was it successful? I’m very interested to get additional insight from other parents that have been here