Surely, other ADHD parents do this too?

My 8 year old son was recently diagnosed with Autism level 1, ADHD, and Intermittent Explosive Disorder. He is going into third grade, has attended the same school his whole school experience so far. Because of his behavior they denied our open enrollment this year. Citing they dont have the staff to help him.

I am considering switching to homeschooling him. Its incredibly easy here in Idaho to do so and am not required to report hours or plans or anything.

I also work full time away from the home and my husband works out of town sometimes being gone for weeks.

I am considering a 2.5 hour "school day". Integrating learning in during the commute such as reading. Do some math and "science" during cooking and dinner and do the heavy lifting in about 2 hours on the weekend. Things like introducing new concepts and writing.

I also have a son going into 1st grade so it would be both.

Has anyone done this? Worked full time and homeschooled? Am I crazy for considering it. Does anyone have advice?

Thanks

I've been a school psychologist for over two decades, and there are certain conversations you don't forget.

A while back, after an IEP meeting, everyone had left except one mom. She waited until the room was empty.

She wasn't angry. She wasn't looking for someone to blame. She just looked exhausted.

She looked at me and said,

"I know my child is struggling. I just want someone to help me understand why... and help me help my child. I don't know what to do anymore."

I've thought about those words a lot.

People sometimes assume parents come into these meetings wanting their child to qualify for special education. In my experience, that's usually not what they're asking for. Most parents have been carrying questions around for a long time. They've watched homework become harder than it should be. They've gotten the phone calls from school. They've tried different strategies at home. A lot of them quietly wonder iF they should have done something sooner.

I think, more than anything, parents just want to be heard. They want someone to listen. They want someone to help them understand what's getting in the way so they know how to help their child.

For me, that's why the evaluation has always mattered. Yes, determining eligibility is an important part of the process because, if a student is eligible, it opens the door to an IEP with supports and services designed to address their identified areas of need. Before any of that, we have to understand why the child is struggling. If we don't identify the underlying needs, it's hard to know what supports will actually help. It was just on my mind and thought to share.

Hello everyone,

I’ve just been diagnosed with ADHD (Danish 21M). I’ve not been telling my parents about my doctor and psychiatrist treatments, yet my sister convinced me that my parents would react well and love to help… Anwyho, I did indeed tell my mom/stepdad and my dad. My mom was as usual a “know it all” and I told her all the symptoms I’ve been feeling and showing. MY ADHD is 10x more mental than physical, even tho I am very hyper, my mental is suffering quite a lot more than what I like to show or talk about. My mom and dad on the other hand have a very good excuse for all symptoms saying stuff like “ohhh I was wayyyy worse at your age” or “you’re just confused about who you are” or “you’ve just gotten your priorities wrong”. And I swear I wanna be a kid who is able to clean the bathroom or not get in trouble at school (back then) or keep doing a sport for at least 6+ months. Is it normal for other people for their parents to behave like this or even try to talk you out of anything being slightly different than them or wrong with me? I would really like some help on this because maybe I am just normal but lazy and unable to focus on things that matters even tho I swear I try:((

How do you handle your child who is involved in extracurricular activities specifically when it comes to making practices being on time, etc? My 11 year-old is going into sixth grade and made the team for the middle school. They started practices this summer and it’s been very difficult to get her to go. I honestly wish she’d hadn’t made it because I know that the entire year will be stressful. It’s not just practices but the games and everything that’s going be required will be hard. I don’t want her to miss out on this opportunity because she does enjoy the sport. Have coaches been understanding of this and made accommodations? Any recommendations on handling this?

Hi all - my 7yo son is on a cocktail of medications. He is AuDHD, but his main symptoms stem from the ADHD part. He is currently on 25 mg of Focalin in the morning, 14mg of Aripripozole in the evening as well as 0.1 of Clonidine before bed. This dosing is fairly new (we increased bc 20mg of Focalin was no longer effective).

We have tried so many different stimulants and focalin and has been the best so far. In the afternoons though, the coverage comes way down and his hyperactivity and inattention make doing almost anything pretty challenging. We’ve tried to do a small dose of stimulant in afternoon but havent found something that works with the dosing he can do bc of weight.

Anyways, he had been on Guanfacine for the previoya year and a half and we weaned him off of it a few months ago bc i felt like it wasn’t really doing much. Def not helping his afternoon rebound or sleep.

His psychiatrist suggested that we consider adding Strattera in the afternoons to see if it helps with his hyperactivity and inattention. His self regulation is pretty nonexistent, but with the azole it does help to at least shorten the duration so while we can’t really prevent his big outbursts, at least they no longer take him over an hour to calm down.

My question is, everything that I’ve read suggests that guanfacine would be the best for his symptoms. And I know that each person reacts differently to medication’s, but has anybody seen success with Strattera versus Guanfacine? I know it can take 6 to 8 weeks to see a change, but I just wanna make sure that there has been some history of success, with someone similar to my son before we go down that road, given that Guanfacine didn’t really help him (he was on 1mg).

Thanks!

Anyone seek out chiropractic to help with ADHD/Anxiety in their children. To be clear, I don’t believe in this part of chiropractic. I’ve gone extensively and I have gotten pain relief in my back and neck. But, some people believe this woowoo stuff for adhd and anxiety.

I don’t work in the dental field.

I do have a 13 year old with ADHD and braces. I’m paying 8k for the braces. If he doesn’t do a good job brushing his teeth when he has them on he can ruin his teeth for life. I’ve scheduled him for dental cleanings every 2 months. Insurance pays for 2 a year and I’m paying for the other 4, it’s $75 each. For an extra $300 a year I can make sure he makes it out okay. He still brushes his teeth once and day and we still remind him of the consequences of doing a crap job but this takes the pressure off a little.

So this is your permission to schedule extra cleanings if your kids struggle with dental hygiene. It’s an ADHD tax for sure but I’d rather pay up now than in repairs later.

My boyfriend has an eight year-old boy combined type ADHD. He is medicated. He’s going through a tough time right now. A lot of changes in his life and emotional regulation has become very difficult. It’s always been difficult, but it feels like we’ve regressed a little bit just in the short time that I’ve known him, which is only about a year and a half.

We recently vacation with another family who also has an eight year-old boy. Seeing the differences between the two boys 247 for a week was very eye opening.

There was a really big blowup the day before we left. I took the brunt of it. This is the first time kid has ever been aggressive towards me and just so incredibly mean. Dad has assured me he’s going to make changes with parenting. I told him I wanna be a part of the changes and help.

So I need to know what works for people who are parenting a child like this who don’t live with their coparent. I’m beginning to wonder if maybe having different rules for different houses is a good idea. I don’t think things are terribly different across houses for us but a few of the sticking points like brushing teeth maybe we could have some better structure around that both houses stick to.

Would love to know what works best and what people have tried. I’m open to anything at this point.

I have two girls, one is 4 months, one is about to be 12. Having a baby again had made me realize how little responsibility around the house I've given my oldest. I do pretty much everything around the house at this point. I'm absolutely not expecting her to pick up the slack now that there's a baby in the house, but I'd like her to start helping with things like vacuuming, dusting, dishes, helping to make a simple dinner a couple times a week. Just helping to take care of our shared space and learn new skills.

My oldest also has ADHD, which just results in her saying "I forgot" every single time I tell her to do something. She also can't see things in front of her that need to be done. Examples: she'll throw something in the kitchen trash can and it will be overflowing and she won't take it out. She'll get a glass of water from the Brita pitcher and empty it, but won't refill it for the next person. She'll make a very obvious mess on the floor, but doesn't clean it up. We are working on her executive functioning skills to help with these types of things, but some days my patience is very much tested.

I would love some suggestions for how much responsibility is appropriate for a 12 year old and what kinds of resources have you found to help your kids to remember/follow through with tasks?

I apologize if this isn’t obvious to me but I’ll be starting my 6 year old on adhd meds and I have no clue how he’ll take them? He’s only had liquid meds as needed when he was sick and usually that was a struggle. He’d end up refusing or throwing it up from taste. I can’t imagine him swallowing a pill at this age either. How are kids taking their meds? I don’t want to have another struggle with him to take meds. Seeking tips and advice!!

My 13 year old son’s med doctor suggested we have a psych assessment done by a 3rd party. I received the results back today, nothing too surprising that isn’t already being controlled with meds (ADHD, anxiety, depressive disorder) EXCEPT- They did an IQ test and his result is 79. Apparently that’s borderline/very low… I’m not sure where to go from here? How do I help my child be prepared for life? He struggles severely in school, I’m so worried he won’t be able to get a diploma now… He was tested last school year by the school psych and was denied an IEP, should I send this report this school year and insist he gets an IEP?
They did put a 504 in place supposedly, I never saw any proof they actually followed it…

He does see a counselor weekly in addition to his med doctor, I’m not sure if maybe there are special counselors for this type of thing? Am I overreacting and this is totally fine and nothing to worry about?
Of course I’m going to ask his med doc at his next appointment, (he has seen her monthly for a year so she knows us best), but that’s not until September.

Send me all advice/resources!!!

I know adhd is usually diagnosed when kids are a bit older but I’m just concerned about my 3.5 year old.

He can’t sit still it’s like he constantly has to be moving doesn’t matter what we are doing. Even just sitting he’s moving his arms or kicking his legs. Getting up to jump. It’s constant

The noises constant too out of nowhere blurting random noises, making noises with his teeth, grinding them, screaming, all different noises

Can’t listen to directions whatsoever

His impulse is none one minute he’s sitting the next he’s jumping off the walls, grabbing toys, throwing something

Aggressive toward other kids like a switch flips and he’s hitting or kicking someone or stealing a toy

Can’t take no for an answer and very hard with transitions

Intense meltdowns that last long sometimes

He is very smart, great language, and is a typical 3.5 year old besides these things he’s doing. I’ve taken him to a behavioral therapist who didn’t think autism was even a possibility. But since then he’s gotten worse behavioral wise. He starts school soon and I’m concerned he won’t be able to sit for anything or listen.

Y’all, I’m a lost mom. Completely and totally lost. I feel like I’ve exhausted every avenue imaginable. Bribes. Positive reinforcement. Consequences. Taking away the tablet. Taking away TV. Sticker charts. Timers. 3 a.m. wake ups. Strict schedules. If you can name it, we’ve probably tried it.

My almost 6-year-old, who has ADHD, is not fully potty trained yet. He starts kindergarten in two weeks, and I’m terrified.

The biggest struggle is that he absolutely refuses to poop on the potty. We’ve been actively working on this for almost three years. He attends summer camp during the day, and the staff have been incredible! They’re taking him to the bathroom every 10–20 minutes to try.. as long as staffing allows. Despite that, he’s still choosing to poop in his pants. He also doesn’t tell anyone afterward; he’ll just sit in it. Pee accidents are rare, so this seems very specific to bowel movements.

He’s been on medication for his ADHD (a non-stimulant) for about the last year. We’re working with his pediatrician, but honestly, it feels like we’re getting nowhere and that things may actually be getting worse. She’s had me keep a food journal and an accident journal, but right now I’m struggling to understand how that’s going to help us move forward.
And before anyone says it: I promise I judge myself enough for everyone else. Every single day, I wonder what I’m missing or why this just hasn’t clicked for him yet.

If you’ve been through something similar, I’d love advice, words of encouragement, success stories, or even hard truths. I just feel stuck, and I don’t know what to do next.

I’m defeated.

Since having my boy (5.5) and him having a diagnosis of autism(it’s seriously hardly there! I often wonder if his adhd is just severe enough to affect his social understanding a bit) but a ton of ADHD symptom overlap) everything I’ve learned is about activity, routines, deep pressure and proprioception, calm room vibes, reducing screens, clean diet…

I always do my best and it’s never enough. At least I don’t feel like it is.. He still ends up throwing multiple mini meltdowns a day. He’s so disrespectful.

this kid is in activities 3x a week, has therapy a 4th day.. the last 3 days he gets to run about the yard and the play in water.. play at parks, do museums or whatever.. I’m not sure where I’m going with this.. but I’m just frustrated. No matter how much opportunity for energy use he has.. he always is in a mood. Can’t sit still, yells about everything..

After high energy activity, we get maybe 20-30 minutes of a calm kid (as long as the activity wasn’t too much.. then it backfires..)

He can’t even behave himself during these activities and gets redirected multiple times and is disrupting everyone else’s learning.

I can’t do story time with him at the library as he will lose it because the craft isn’t turning out the way he wants it to.. but then I can’t help him do it right.. and he wants to restart it 100 times..

We don’t do things like that at home because of the same reason.
Go to bake with him while his brother naps.. I let him put all the ingredients in, let him mix it.. but then he loses himself when I inform him I will pour it in the hot cast iron pan prior to baking. He doesn’t care to listen to my explanation, and when I finally get him to hear that part.. he thinks he can do what I do and grab oven mits.. (meanwhile 30 minutes later I pull muffins out and he puts his nose only millimeters in front of the hot cast iron pan impulsively to smell it!)

He’s in OT.. we tried preschool and the school worked fine (he masked all day) but home life was getting worse not better. They wouldn’t honor a 504, or iep since he was fine there.. but then so overwhelmed at home he’d just cry most of the night from the time I got him until bed. He’s homeschooled. And I need to get this figured out:. Some days he feels unteachable from how dysregulated he is.. I might do an hour of activity, and then he gives me 5 minutes of attention before becoming expectant, fixed, or dysregulated and distracted again.

He’s not an only child. He has a younger brother and a teen sister. His younger brother is picking up on his behaviors (maybe also adhd but a bit early to tell) and his oldest sister is resentful towards him. She gets time away, does her thing, has her hobbies, she’s spending the summer at long distance family to give her a bit more freedom from her brother.

I used to be a put together parent. But with this kid.. I’m caught chasing him in the grocery store, raising my voice to be heard over the boys fighting, holding back tears as he slams his fists on a table and shouts at the library because something’s not working the way he wants it to.. standing in silence in public somewhere as he screams at me “I’m not doing xyz until I get to play/have/do what I want” then trying to walk him out of the same place by his hand as he pulls in the opposite direction. He’s getting almost too heavy to potato carry.. this kid is over 50lbs.. I’m not a strong human.. I’m so tired of his behaviors and of the silent stares and judgement from complete strangers.

I can’t just leave my 3 year old and expect teen to be co-parent to help him while I deal with Mr 5.. and it’s not fair to either sibling to constantly leave what we are doing when Mr 5 is acting a fool..

I’m in over my head. My husband would probably threaten to divorce me before agreeing to medicate him.

Sometimes I think he acts this way because he’s bored. Other times because he’s overwhelmed.. but the line in the middle is so tiny.. it’s so hard to hit and stay in target.

I’m so tired.. I’m tired of everyone’s “solutions” that don’t work.. I’m tired of doing everything “right” but nothing improving..

My son is inattentive adhd. He is going into first grade and I’m very concerned. Last year, he did great in school but when he came home, he was miserable. He didn’t want to be around us or talk to us. He just needed to decompress. I made him a calming corner, got him weighted blankets, made his room perfect for decompressing. I hated it though. He didn’t want to be with us and I missed him. His sister cried because he “didn’t want to be with her” in her words but really he was just so over stimulated he couldn’t be with us. I’m wondering about medication. He is incredibly smart so I always said if he started struggling in school, we would do it. I’m curious if anyone would medicate sooner than they did or if they would wait until you felt like you had to. I’m not heavily against medication but I’m also not really for it. I want my son to live the happiest life possible and if medication is what’s going to help him, I’m more than willing to do it. Just trying to decide if waiting is okay.

ETA: last summer, we tried clonidine- it knocked him out. The tiniest dose, he literally slept 24/7 for a month. We tried qelbree after that and it made him a tyrant. He was angry and punching/ breaking things constantly.

Looking for some ideas! 😊

My 9-year-old son (who has ADHD) is absolutely obsessed with business and making money. He's constantly dreaming up new ideas and figuring out how he can sell something. I absolutely love it because him and I are very much peas in a pod when it comes to entrepreneurship!

The challenge is that most of his ideas don't really get off the ground, and he's getting a little frustrated. So I thought I'd ask the brains trust.

He's really into:

- RC cars and modifying them

- Camping, survival gear and outdoor adventures

- Building and tinkering

I'd prefer to steer him away from YouTube or content creation and instead encourage him to create or sell a physical product or offer a simple service where he can learn about customers, money, and running a small business.

Has anyone's kids started a successful little business around this age? I'd love to hear what worked, especially ideas that are hands-on, realistic, and something a 9-year-old could genuinely own (with a bit of parent help)

My five year old is such a sweet human. He loves people, he cares deeply about them, makes thoughtful comments and gestures. But when he gets dysregulated, he acts out towards peers in his class without them provoking him in any way - shoving, poking, hitting, knocking over their toys, and today dumped a shoe full of muddy water onto a classmate.

We are still narrowing in on his exceptionalities. We have had a developmental psychology screening completed and we know he has clinically significant anxiety, is at risk for depression and aggression, and shows signs of ADHD particularly in his emotional executive functioning. He is also incredibly bright. We are waiting on an appointment with a child psychiatrist to further understand how his brain works and how to support it, but I'm exhausted and deeply sad.

We have tried so much to support him. Worked with lots of services to help us and help him, but we continue to just get praised for "doing everything right to support him" and repeatedly having professionals tell us "he just doesn't fit in a box".

I was there to face the child who was crying over the shoe/muddy water incident today, and their parent. As soon as what happened was explained to me I apologized to the parent, who was certainly not feeling like hearing me apologize. Though the teachers usually try to keep incident reports anonymous, there have been incidents through the year where something has happened at a time where myself and the other child's parent were there at pickup. I try to apologize, I don't try to explain why my child targeted their's because 1) not helpful to an upset parent and 2) I have no explanation for his actions.

I've developed the tools and resilience to get through so many of the challenges parenting this complicated child, but I don't know how to manage this aspect of being the parent of the kid who hurts others. I talk to my child about how his actions affect others, and how to apologize to classmates. He isn't always receptive and will often not acknowledge what I say to him, but I know he does feel bad that he got out of control (he often reflects on it later and apologizes for hurting his friends so much). Most of his classmates seem to continually welcome him back in to play amends are made/his classmates forgive. What I don't know is how to reconcile with the parents so they don't think that I don't care - it beats me up inside knowing that other students are having bad experiences in the class because of my child.

I don't know if I need advice or solidarity or "it gets better" but man. I was having a rough day already and facing the upset parent whisking away a crying child today as I did my best to apologize brought me to rock bottom on this parenting journey.

I have a newly ten year old daughter, who most likely has adhd. I haven’t had her tested, but I believe I should. Her dad, my partner of fifteen years also has adhd as well as my 24m step son. My problem is that my daughter is constantly trying to grab my chest in a very inappropriate way. I have tried for years to tell her to stop, but my husband typically laughs and, not encouraging it, but not discouraging it either. She rarely does it in public, but I’m just at my limit of personal boundaries constantly being over stepped. Her father does it also, as I’m writing this, I’m beyond mortified and should probably seek a therapist.

Edit to add: I do not have adhd and was unsure if this was considered typical behavior in the home. I do not mean to offend anyone with this post, just really need some clarity and what to do moving forward.

When you meet with your child’s doctor to go over medication trials and discuss side effects, switching meds, etc. — do you bring your kid with you always? I think it would be a lot easier to talk candidly if he’s not there, but I don’t know if it’s a requirement or typical that the child is in the appointment? They’re 7 years old for context.

My son is 11 and is diagnosed with ADHD and generalized anxiety disorder. We have been trying meds for the past month or 2 for the first time and it’s been ok. He went away for the weekend and didn’t take his meds but has been home a few days now and we have fallen out of the regiment 🙄 he dosnt like taking them because they make him tired and sleep. We take them at night so that this will happen because without them he will stay up till 3am. All his electronics automatically cut off wifi at bedtime but he says he still will stay up and he likes to. He’s been acting crazy the past few days and when he does something impulsive (throw something on the ground at drs on purpose) I’ve been saying “see this is why you need medication” or when he’s getting all worked up and irritated over something so tiny I’ll say it too 😞 is this hurtful? I apologized to him. See I take medication for different mental issues and I’m very open with him on how if I diddnt everyone would be miserable, including me. I don’t see having to take medication as a bad thing. Idk I JUST DONT KNOW WITH THIS BOY!!!

My daughter is 6.5 - diagnosed with ADHD and has been on meds for 2 weeks now. She was adopted when she was little and also has emotional regulation and sensory processing issues they believe due to premature birth and all the drug and alcohol exposure.

All of this to say, she has never played alone. Ever. I am exhausted. This summer has been so hard. I have her in activities 3 days a week, she hangs out with her grandparents every so often, we now do weekly cousin play dates, but at home she just will not do anything alone.

I have to constantly be watching her. She doesn't want me to play, she wants me to observe. I cannot "observe" her 24/7 😭. I love her with my entire heart and she has brought so much joy into our lives, but man. I feel like I'm failing??

Like I feel like I'm being mean by not following her around 24/7 😅. I was a bedroom kid growing up. I hated my parents. So I have no idea how to navigate my child wanting to be around me? Mine just yelled at me and made me go to my room 24/7. I just want her to play with her toys or art lol.

Is this just an ADHD thing? Her dad and I are also diagnosed. I need quiet time to recharge and unwind (like reading or a cozy game), my husband needs a thinking type game to unwind, and our daughter just needs constant chaos or she acts like she's actively dying.

We've been doing family game nights in the evenings, family dinner at the table, I limit screen time the best I can.

I just don't know how to entertain her and deal with her explosive moods during the days 🥺

I have an 8 and 6 year old, neither of which are actually diagnosed but I’ve strongly suspected for a long time. So many things feel so much harder than they’re supposed to be. Today we tried for the millionth time to play a card game and the loser absolutely lost it and completely melt down. That’s always the way any kind of game goes. It’s such a simple thing that other families can do so it just feels so sad and frustrating for me. What age can I expect my kids to finally be able to hold it together and remember it’s just a game!?