Just to preface, I really don’t want to argue the ethics of AI on here, just really looking for advice. My main concern is his constant overuse which has left him not thinking about himself, and also I have concerns due to the environmental impact.

Edit: I know he is an adult and I’m not going to tell him to stop using it. I just don’t think he realises how reliant he is on it.

This has been a slippery slope the last year. I’m noticing my husband relying on AI more and more, and knowing what I know about AI, I’m concerned. He is using it for everything. Some examples are, when I was in the kitchen with him, he asked some AI chat bot for a recipe that I myself knew. He could’ve googled it or asked me but he ended up verbally asking whichever AI platform this was and was listening through his earphones and talking to it as if it were a real person. I heard the voice and I genuinely thought he was on the phone.

I’ve noticed when he’s working, he uses it for ideas. He’s used it for learning a new language, he uses it for coding, and much more. He uses it to talk in another language so it can correct him and “help him learn”. He wants to fully automate his online business so he doesn’t have to reply to customers, he will just use AI for that. Simple math problem? He opens ChatGPT and asks before even attempting to work it out. Has a basic question? Immediately opens ChatGPT to ask rather than asking me or researching it like he used to. Leaves the chat on for hours so it can hear him talk and give live feedback. I have an app subscription for something parenting related and he asked ChatGPT to make me an app to use instead. Even his social media profile pictures are an AI picture of him made from a GREAT photo of him. He doesn’t want to share photos of our kid so he makes AI photos and shares them. I’m making an invitation to a party? Oh no don’t bother, I’ll just get ChatGPT to make one.

It feels very excessive to me and I want to talk to him about it, especially since he himself said he was scared about how far AI has developed. Yet he uses it every day, all the time.

I really don’t want to be judgemental. How would you bring this up?

TLDR: I want to talk to my husband about his AI use but don’t know how without being judgemental.

I (38F) have been having a situation with a sister in law (42F) for the past few years.

She's been married into the family longer than me and I feel there's a part of expecting me to fall in line with her but I basically have always marched to the beat of my own drum. I always maintained a really positive relationship with her as it was very important to me despite her passive aggressive behaviour which I would ignore thinking oh she's just in a mood because of xyz and I'll let it slide. I truly loved her like a sister and went out of my way to make her happy but it's like she couldn't trust it and accept it as genuine.

A few years after getting married I began a fitness regime that helped me lose a lot of weight really fast and overall increase in confidence. As soon as that change took place, her behaviour went from passive aggressive to full on aggressive with snide comments saying I'm trying to show her up etc. Her husband I share a fitness love and became closer in the sense of talking much more, never one on one when we'd see them, no text or calls, just at family gatherings but this feels like the big kicker that bothered her. Considering her husband cheats on her all the time, something in there seemed to threaten her? She would stop asking us to come over and being quite unresponsive at that point to my calls/texts about getting together.

Fast forward another couple of years to when I finally had a child of my own and that's when the gloves seemed to really come off. She shamed me, made my post partum and pregnancy more jarring than it needed to be, carries a bit of that energy towards to my child and now we're in this odd situation where we don't talk. There was one specific thing that was in the nail in the coffin for me regarding my child and after that I keep it very short and to the point with her, only see her on occasions now.

I'm having a tremendously hard time releasing her and this pain/anger. I don't know if it's worth a conversation other than maybe making me feel better (or worse?). I'm not sure how to handle this situation. Please help! It's taken my peace away and I don't know if I care to mend the relationship with her but I do want to release it from my psyche so I can be at peace in some way.

TL;DR - SIL is passive aggressive with me for just being me. This situation is eating me up and I don't know how to navigate it.

​

So my partner and I have been together almost a year now. We have moved in with each other and it has been pretty smooth sailing for a couple of months.

Unfortunately some recent stressors have popped up on me. New job position in healthcare with weird switching hours, difficult coworkers, car trouble, recent surgery and this has all caused me some money issues. I have my own car, insurances, phone, and we split the bills evenly. It also does not help my mental health that I deal with OCD, CPTSD, and sensory issues on top of my other stuff. Right now, I am extra on edge and at my limit.

I really enjoy being in a relationship and living with my boyfriend. He has taken care of me through my surgery and has honestly shown me what all was missing in my first marriage. We share a lot of the same interests, humor, hobbies, and quirks. He has ADHD and PTSD as well so we share some symptoms and can connect and understand each other better than most.

Now here are the other things I am struggling with. The house does not have a door to the master bedroom. It is a loft. It is also a small house. There are four cats in said small house. I enjoy animals but I need my space. I also can never truly sleep well. I stay hyper aware at night and they are constantly jumping on the headboard over or around my head. We can put all of them in the small 'cat/game' room but I feel like a huge meanie since I'm the one in their house.

I suggested that I sometimes stay at my aunts 10 mins away maybe 4-5 days out the month to decompress and have some reset time to myself. He saw that as me being 'on my way out' but I had told him before suggesting this that I did not want him to take what I was suggesting the wrong way. I do understand why he would though! Heck I probably would too. But I really don't know what else to do. I am so tired. My head is pounding and I am crying and snapping all the time at seemingly nothing.

I recently tried going back to the gym with him as well. I am hoping that it can help with the fatigue/lower energy and help me sleep better too. Plus, we both have another activity we enjoy doing around one another even if its not together. My scheduling is a bit difficult but I am able to fit some things in and thankfully we go to a gym that is 24/7.

TL;DR My job, money situation, cats, and lack of boundaries are causing high stress for me and I am at my limit. I am needing space or anything to help me deal with these issues. Are there any other suggestions maybe? Was the one I suggested really that terrible too?

I have used fake names for privacy reasons. This is the situation I am in. I (26F) have romantic feelings for my friend (25M), let's call him Cam. The two of us have only known each other for just over 6 months. Our friendship is an online one. We are part of a DND group which is how we met. Slowly over those months I became more and more confused. I was unsure if I felt attracted to him because he’s one of the very few nice men in my life. Or because I actually was attracted to him. Then I became conflicted on whether or not I should say anything. Because what if it ruins the friendship or DND group?

Then this month I slowly worked up the courage to say something. Only before I could, Cam told me about his relationship with Laura (20sF). I don't know Laura all that well since we rarely chat outside of session. That's why I don't have an exact age for her. Laura joined the group after our first campaign went down the toilet. Our previous DM ghosted us but that's a whole other story. Laura is cool, calm and confident. I respect that about her and how assertive she is. And I do consider her a friend. However, as much as I value and care for both of them, the news hurt me. I really want to be happy for them. I really do. But I can’t seem to muster it. This makes me feel awful and like I’m a bad friend. Maybe it does make me a bad friend and horrible person. I don't know because Cam is the first person I’ve EVER developed romantic feelings for, to this degree. I mean I’ve had fleeting high school crushes before. But this?

I am writing poetry about the guy, creating a playlist and writing letters. All of which I keep a secret from him or any of my DND friends. Because I just know it would ruin things. The only other person I would feel comfortable talking about with this in the group is Isabel (20sF). But she was Laura's friend before she became mine. And it wouldn't be fair on her to be like “Hey you know how our mutual friends are dating, yeah I also wish to date him.” There’s already been drama in the group. I don't need to add to it.

So what is the outcome that I want? 

It would be a lie to say that I want to get over these feelings. Even though it's been under 2 weeks since I found out. I am pretty certain about that. I really like Cam, like I almost slipped up and called it love kind of bad. In my head or in writing. So maybe what I want is to become okay with the likelihood that it's going to be one sided. I want to stop secretly hoping the two break up. Because that feels awful and I feel so guilty for even thinking it. Or checking the statistics on LDRs (Cam lives in Britain and Laura lives in the US). I don't want to be that girl best friend that appears on Reddit so frequently. 

What should I do to become okay with never being his girlfriend?

How do I stop having these mean, petty thoughts?

Please ask any questions you have.

TL;DR: I (26F) have feelings for my friend (25M) even though he’s in a relationship. How do I come to terms with my feelings being unrequited/one sided?

This has been sort of a recurrent argument we have.

I (44M) live in New Zealand, married, no kids.

She (42F), married, 2 toddlers, lives in Poland.

We are both originally from South America.

I'm finding hard to connect with her because one way or another the conversation floats to when are we going to see each other.

For background, after the pandemic was over I went to Poland on my own once, then on a family trip to see my dad in the US (she was there too) and once more to spend Christmas with her and my nephews in Poland a couple years back.

Mind you, this had been all of post covid international travel I had done.

Then this year I decided to go to South America with my wife to meet her family. We have been together for 5 years and I had not met them in person.

The trip date didn't coincide with her own trip to South America and she lost it. Went on a big rant as to how I don't prioritize my family and so on.

I love her, but I hate the double standards as she has only been here once about 10 years ago ("too far" "too expensive" "can't live kids alone", all reasons that I respect and never say she doesn't prioritize me).

Now with the war in the middle east, flights became more expensive and uncertain plus this year I exhausted all my annual leave.

For the past few weeks every other conversation turned to a similar discussion to the point I don't even want to talk to her anymore.

Has anyone faced similar challenges?

Tldr

I live very far in NZ, she wants to see me more often, but won't come here. Her solutions are either for me to travel to her place in Europe or coordinate a complicate trip to South America on dates that suit her (because kids are on school)

Hi everyone. My partner (40m) and I (33f) have been together a little over a year. A lot has happened and at this point I just feel very confused about things. ​​​​When we were dating, things were great. He was attentive, affectionate, in a good mood generally. We would have minor conflicts sometimes but we navigated them well and I felt like he was an empathetic and emotionally intelligent person. Things definitely didn't feel "lovebomb"-y, but just like normal genuine connection.

6 months in, he moved in with me. And things changed basically instantly. ​​​​He was about to transition from one job to another, but the one he had lined up fell through because of the company making the position redundant. This left him unemployed and in a brand new situation. He'd never lived together with someone before, he had had long term relationships but never cohabited. It took him 6 months to get a new job, despite working very very hard to find one, hundreds of applications, many interviews, etc. The job market where we live is just very competitive. During that time, he changed dramatically. He went from being sweet and attentive and affectionate to withdrawing completely and being in a bad mood basically 24/7. I was worried about him and tried talking about it, and he said he was very stressed because he hates being unemployed, it makes him feel like a failure. I tried to be as supportive and understanding as I could be. After several weeks of him being very distant, I tried to gently talk to him about missing our connection and things feeling very different than they used to. He got very upset with me and the conversation didn't have a resolution. A few days later I gently tried to broach the subject again, but this time he got so agitated that he told me this relationship obviously isn't going to work out because of the way I keep pestering him and insisting on being negative. I got very scared and apologised and did my best not to bring it up again for a long time. But after many more weeks of things being the same, I eventually just felt very disheartened and again tried to talk to him to figure out what's going on or what we could do to figure things out together. ​​​

Over time, this pattern has pretty much stayed the same. He is extremely avoidant of trying to resolve conflicts, he behaves as if my feelings are inherently the problem and insists that I'm a negative person. But sometimes it's different... Occasionally he seems understanding and admits that the way he's treating me isn't OK and that he needs to make an effort to be better, and he says our relationship is incredibly important to him. But then nothing changes... And when I try to talk about it, he insists that the problem is that I don't appreciate his "efforts" but he almost literally doesn't do anything other than go to work, do his share of the chores, and watch TV. On the weekends we go hiking or things like that, but neither during the week nor at the weekend do we "connect", it's like he's just emotionally absent. When I used to chat to him about something, he would listen attentively, make eye contact, smile and engage. Now he just nods and barely looks at me and eventually I always just trail off. If I ever behave in a way where he can tell I feel sad or down, he will immediately notice and ask what's wrong but if I try to explain that it's because of the way things are between us, he just shuts down and gets very frustrated. Our intimate life also took a nose dive basically the instant he moved in. It used to be pretty much every day... Now it's maybe once a week, often even less. Again I've tried talking about it, I've tried asking if there's something I can do to spark his interest more, does he know what might be going on ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​, but he just says it's cos of this or that. First it was the unemployment, then he started working but then it turned out he was using a THC vape to help him sleep cos he's always suffered with insomnia and he said the vape is what was making him distant. Now he's quit that but he's taking a stop-smoking medication to help him stop his nicotine pouches and now he says those are what are making him like this... We've been living together 8 months and I feel like I haven't seen a glimpse of the man I was dating once. I've really tried to be as understanding and patient as possible but at this point, I can't ever talk about anything that's upsetting to me, whether it's to do with him or not, because of the way he reacts, I can't really casually chat to him about anything cos he's so absent and it makes me feel so unheard and ignored... I can't try to navigate what's going on cos even though he admits that things aren't OK he doesn't actually seem willing to try to change things, any suggestions I ever make he just nods and nothing changes. I've tried just letting it go and making sure he doesn't feel pressured from my side about anything at all and just being sweet and chipper no matter what and never bringing up anything negative at all, but even after 2 months straight of that nothing changed at all, he didn't behave in any more of an affectionate or interested way towards me, and when after all that time I tried again to discuss trying to figure things out, he again got very agitated and said I'm the problem and if I would just stop being like this then things would be fine.... But even when I'm nothing but happy 24/7 for weeks nothing changes... ​​​

I just don't really understand what's happening. He insists that he loves me very much and he gets very sad and teary eyed if I try to say maybe we should consider going our separate ways because maybe we're just incompatible. He insists that he's working as hard as he can because he wants to make a future for us. He agreed to try couples counselling when an appointment becomes available (in a few months). But honestly I just feel desperately confused. I don't know what's happening or if there's any point in trying to continue and "fix" this? I'm obviously not perfect but I've always tried to approach things from the direction of wanting to figure things out together and reassuring him that I'm not angry or blaming him, etc, and I want to know his perspective too and I'm happy to work on whatever compromises we need to if he feels like I'm also doing things that are hard for him. But no conversation ever goes in any kind of productive direction. I feel so lonely. He very very rarely flirts with me or compliments ​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​me or makes me feel like he's present with me... It's like we're roommates 90% of the time and then the other 10% is like he vaguely remembers that we're in a relationship and tries to act more like it but even then it's nothing like when we were dating. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I've tried to bring up that maybe he should talk to his doctor and explore any mental health things that might be going on for him but again he just shut down and withdrew. Has anyone experienced something similar? What am I supposed to do? I obviously want to be understanding, but I just don't know where the line is between being supportive to a partner who's having a hard time and between allowing every one of my needs in a relationship to be perpetually ignored and unaddressed​​​​.

TLDR: Things changed overnight when my partner moved in, no matter how I try to approach conversations they never result in any forward motion, and I feel confused and lonely and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. ​​​​​​​

My wife (30F) and I (32M) have been together for 9 years and married for almost 6. We're an international couple. we met in Korea. She's Thai, I'm American.

We've been through a lot together. We struggled with visas, eventually moved to my home state in the US for work, lived with my dad while caring for my dying aunt, and then later moved to Bangkok during COVID. My wife was incredibly supportive during those years. She helped me run my business by handling taxes, client communication, and administrative work while we lived there.

A few years ago I had an opportunity to pursue my dream career in the US. We spent about a year and a half long-distance while I established myself and waited for her green card. She eventually joined me in Ohio with our dog. We now own a house, have a cat, and I work at my dream company in a different state.

We've built a good life together, especially from where we started. The marriage was first for legal purposes but we had an official ceremony in Bangkok when we moved there.

My wife is kind, hardworking, and caring. She loves animals, took amazing care of my aunt before she passed away, cooks because she enjoys it, works from home full-time herself, and I honestly always believed she'd make a wonderful mother.

The problem is that over the last year or so, we've been fighting constantly.

One challenge is the language barrier. English isn't her first language, and she's often told me that what she says doesn't always come across the way she intends. I try to remember that. At the same time, I don't speak Thai fluently (but we spoke Korean when we first met), so I know communication goes both ways.

However, many of our arguments don't feel like they're just about language anymore.

For example, one day I was cleaning our coffee maker while she was cooking. She became frustrated because I was in the way. So I started staying out of the kitchen unless she asked for help. Then she became upset that I wasn't helping enough and said she felt like my mother. Now I constantly feel like I'm trying to guess whether I should help or stay out of the way.

Another example happened while I was traveling for work.I work in a safety sensitive position and occasionally bring her with me on trips. Before boarding our flight home, she went to the restroom. The gate agent called boarding, so I carried our luggage onto the aircraft and stored it in the cockpit before returning to the gate to wait for her. She took longer than expected, so I boarded again to do my work stuff, to return to the gate area shortly after. When I got back to the gate, she became very upset because I hadn't texted her that I'd taken the luggage onboard, and she though our bags had been stolen.

I apologized and agreed that I should have texted her.

But she continued arguing with me immediately before I went on duty, and even made fun of my apology by mocking what I said. During that flight we diverted because of weather and dealt with a significant operational situation that kept us on the ground for hours with angry passengers. We finally arrived around 4 AM, I was on duty the whole time.

That argument really stuck with me because I couldn't understand why it couldn't wait until after I finished my shift.

The most recent fight was even worse.

My wife had been visiting family in Asia while I stayed home. During those weeks I remodeled our kitchen and was working 14+ hour days.

Before she left we'd argued about me occasionally hosting coworkers at our house. She works from home and values having our home as her personal space. I asked if I could invite people over maybe twice a month. After a few days she agreed we could host 2x/month.

Before she left, I invited a few coworkers over one evening.After she came home, she noticed a single long red hair on our dining table and immediately asked whether I'd had anyone over.

I said yes, my coworkers had visited while she was here, and one of them is a tall redhead, they had met.

Instead of accepting that explanation, she insisted the hair was too long, that we'd used a tablecloth, and implied that something wasn't adding up. I asked if she was accusing me of cheating. She never explicitly said yes, but she repeatedly dismissed every explanation I gave.

We've now spent four days arguing over this.

I've been completely faithful throughout our entire 9 year relationship, so this accusation hurt me deeply, and to be honest broke my trust. I feel like I'm going crazy because she doesn't see it that way, that I got upset and that was suspicious. I only got upset when she denied my explanation, and I reiterated time and time again that goes against every fiber of my being....

A pattern I've noticed is that many disagreements seem to end with reality itself becoming the argument.

I told her two days ago, that I was so tired of the fights. I'm emtotionally exhausted and I feel like it's always about tiny stuff I did. I said "I wish you wouldn't get so frustrated with me over little things around the house."

She said "then don't make me frustrated"

I said that wasn't really fair because she was making me responsible for her emotions.

She replied that she'd only said that because I'd said it first.

I didnt think I said that but like maybe?

We went back through the conversation together and found that I never said that, but she never admitted that. She took my "i wish you wouldn't get frustrated with me" as "dont make me frustrated"? Idk.

After that, it took several more attempts before we got back to the original point I was trying to make.

Eventually I told her, "I just wish you could be a little more chill."

She sarcastically replied through tears, "Yep. I'm chill. Totally chill," and walked upstairs. When I pointed out that she didn't seem okay, she became upset that I was "deciding her feelings."

Arguments like this happen often.

Another difficult part is that she cries very intensely during arguements. Shes not faking it, I think she becomes overwhelmed emotionally, but conversations often stop because she becomes inconsolable. In the early days I would take that as me having gone too far, but these days its so frustrating because I ask her to get to a state where I can understand what she says so we can move forward.

Last night she was quietly crying in bed but repeatedly denied she was crying. Eventually she admitted that she'd realized how much she'd hurt me and that it made her incredibly sad that I no longer feel comfortable in my own home.

I still love my wife.. I don't think she's a bad person. I think she's incredibly caring in many ways, but I'm exhausted.

I feel like I spend so much mental energy trying to predict what will upset her, and to try to interpret her words (like, did she mean it the way she said or did she mean something else?), choosing my words carefully, apologizing, and trying to keep the peace that I don't feel relaxed in my own house anymore. I get it though, she's a foreigner and I know how that feels. so I've always given her extra leeway and space to form thoughts but like after 6+ years of living in the U.S. I find myself selfishly frustrated.

We both want kids but every time a huge fight happens I think there's no way we can have kids with where we are now.

She doesn't believe in marriage counseling or therapy in general, largely because of how she was raised, so that's been tough..

I'm scared of leaving and realizing I walked away from the best person I'll ever have.

But I'm equally scared of staying another five or ten years and discovering that nothing ever changes.

I'm not looking for validation that either of us is the "bad guy."

I'm genuinely asking:

Does this sound like a marriage that can be repaired?

Has anyone been in a relationship where constant criticism, misunderstandings, and walking on eggshells eventually got better?

Or are these signs that we've slowly become incompatible despite loving each other?

I know people can change and I feel like we both have, but the more I've been reflecting this past year+ I feel like she's got some sort of advantage in arguments (gaslighting?) where I'm trying to be as chill as possible around the house and navigating life.

I just dont want to resent her. But her time back home for ~10 days was so peaceful for me. I had a huge feeling that we'd fight when she got back, and holy cow I didn't think she'd accuse me of cheating and not take my word.

Thanks for reading, sorry for typos.

TL;DR:My wife and I have been together for almost a decade and have built a life together through immigration, long-distance, and career changes. We still love each other, but over the past year we've fallen into constant arguments over small things that escalate into days-long fights. I feel like I'm walking on eggshells in my own home, while she feels misunderstood and overwhelmed. She refuses counseling, we've postponed having kids because of our relationship, and I'm torn between fighting for our marriage and wondering if we've become incompatible.

My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months, and we’re long distance. We usually see each other once a month.

I’m feeling really confused about our communication and would appreciate some outside perspectives.

I’ve noticed that whenever something he says or does hurts me and I try to talk to him about it, the conversation quickly turns into me “starting arguments” or “causing issues.” He has said this multiple times throughout our relationship, and it has reached the point where I’m becoming scared to bring anything up because I worry I’ll just be blamed for creating problems.

He also tends to become very defensive. Instead of focusing on the issue I’ve raised, he’ll often bring up past situations where he felt hurt by me. By the end of the conversation, I usually feel like I’m apologising or reassuring him, while my original concern never really gets addressed.

One example is his female coworker. They live and work together, so they spend a lot of time together. Initially I had no problem with it, but he started talking about her every day, complimenting her and mentioning her frequently. It eventually made me uncomfortable. We talked about it, and I thought we’d moved past it.

Recently I brought up something completely different: I told him it hurt that he keeps saying I “like to argue” whenever I raise a concern. Instead of responding to that, he brought up the coworker situation again and other past issues. I left the conversation feeling like my feelings hadn’t been acknowledged at all.
I genuinely love him, but I’m exhausted. I feel like I can’t express hurt, disappointment, or discomfort without being labelled dramatic, petty, or argumentative. I’m starting to question whether this is something that can improve or whether this is just how conflict will always be handled in our relationship.
Am I expecting too much by wanting my partner to acknowledge my feelings before defending himself, or is this an unhealthy communication pattern?

tl;dr my boyfriend seems to blame me for starting arguments every time I bring up something that’s bothering me.

The thing is, my parents don't actually have a problem with him. He's never disrespected them or me. He treats me with love, respect, and kindness, and I genuinely feel safe and happy with him. Their concerns are mostly about his parents.

What confuses me is that our families have known each other for around 10 years. They were close family friends. They visited each other's homes regularly, invited each other over, celebrated together, and that's actually how my boyfriend and I got to know each other. We didn't secretly meet or start dating behind anyone's back. We fell in love because our families spent so much time together.

So now I'm asking myself: if my parents disliked his family this much, why did they continue that friendship for so many years? If they truly believed they weren't good people, why keep inviting them into our home?

Now every single time I go out with my boyfriend, it turns into an argument at home. If I go out with my girlfriends, my parents don't mind. The issue isn't me leaving the house. The issue is specifically that I'm with him.

The more I think about it, the more I wonder if this is part of a bigger pattern.

I've never really seen my parents come home from spending time with friends and talk about how much they enjoyed themselves. Instead, after almost every visit, they focus on what someone did wrong or what they didn't like about that person. Sometimes they may be right because nobody is perfect. But I don't understand why they continue maintaining these friendships if they seem so dissatisfied with them.

For example, one of my dad's friend's wives went on a solo vacation, and my mom said, "I could never do that without my husband." It wasn't only the words but the tone that stayed with me. It came across as critical to me, although I recognize I could be interpreting it incorrectly.

This has made me question something much bigger than my relationship.

I honestly can't remember many people my parents genuinely seem to like. It often feels like they eventually find something they dislike about almost everyone.

Because of that, I keep wondering: if I had fallen in love with someone else, would the same thing be happening?

I'm emotionally exhausted. I love my parents, and I also love my boyfriend. I don't want to choose between them. My relationship itself isn't making me unhappy. The constant conflict surrounding it is.

Has anyone else grown up with parents who seem to be very critical of the people around them? How did you figure out whether they were genuinely trying to protect you or whether this was simply their way of viewing other people?

TL;DR: I (22F) have been with my boyfriend (24M) for 3.5 years. He treats me well, but my parents disapprove because they don't like his family, even though our families were close friends for 10 years. I've also realized my parents seem to be very critical of most people they know, which makes me wonder whether they're protecting me or whether this is simply how they see others. I'm emotionally exhausted and don't know whether to trust my own judgment or theirs.

We have officially ended the honeymoon phase (been dating less than 2 years) and have been arguing for the past few weeks. Btw this is my first real relationship. Today, I told my gf that I wanted to watch the Odyssey with her and wanted to invite my mom because she likes Christopher Nolan movies.
She said she doesn't want my mom to come because she doesn't want to act respectful and cordial around my mom (I assume that she would be nervous).

Some background: my mom has met her and they have talked cordially MANY times. They are both cool with each other and my mom likes her. Also, she has a terrible relationship with her own parents because they were verbally abusive whereas my relationship with my mom is very strong.

I just wanted my gf to get to know my mom more (I was upset and told her that I wanted her to have a positive older person in her life) and the director is someone who my mom likes. We got into a fight over it. I told her that when I met her sister for the first time and I put effort into building a relationship with her. It is the same thing as spending time with me and my mom but she disagreed.

Some other concerns: she doesn't feel included in family conversations because my parents sometimes speak Vietnamese during family gatherings (they are both born and raised in Vietnam). My mom does try to speak English sometimes for my gf and my sister's bf. I translate for her sometimes and remind her that it is ok to not understand everything but she disagrees and tells me that I should talk to my mom to be more proactive. Sometimes, I feel like my girlfriend doesn't actually respect my family because my mom tries to interact with her during family gatherings like saying is the food good which I have told my gf is how my mom opens up the conversation. My gf disagrees. She expects my mom to interact with her more because she is the host but I don't think thats fair. She told me in Indian/American culture hosts need to be accommodating but I told her it is a Vietnamese household and I can't expect my parents to bend and change their customs.

Also, I am worried too because she is indian and I haven't met her parents yet and they are extremely religious/strict and will basically disown her if they find out about our relationship. This anxiety has me worried that she won’t put the same amount of effort in simply being proactive/inviting that I have done to her sister and hopefully do to her parents.

She also complains about her parents because she lives with them but she complains 2-3 times per week in addition to work. This has caused me to feel checked out/exhausted. I just feel like everytime l am doing something with or without her, i feel like lately its negative venting and things lead to an argument or fight which I end up apologizing for. I love her and she loves me, but I just feel like most of our fights leave me exhausted or drained. She is very kind, has been so supportive, loyal, and great but this is something I am struggling with when it comes to her trauma, venting, etc. What should I do? What is the next step?

TLDR:

My boyfriend (21M) and I (20F) have been together for 2.5 years, 1.5 long distance. Overall, we’ve had a genuinely happy relationship. We’ve always communicated well, supported each other, and I honestly believed we had complete trust between us.
A few days ago, I found out that he’d been hiding the fact that he smokes. He had been smoking for about two months without telling me.
For me, this wasn’t just about the lie.
I’ve never smoked, vaped, consumed alcohol, or done drugs. Those are values I’ve always lived by, and I always hoped I’d be with someone who shared them. I have a moral objection to smoking because it’s simply not a lifestyle I agree with or want in a partner.
What hurt me even more was that he knew exactly how I felt about it and still chose not to tell me.
When I confronted him, he admitted everything immediately. He told me he hadn’t hidden it because he wanted to deceive me or because he didn’t care about my feelings. He said he hid it because he was terrified I’d leave him if I found out. He knew how strongly I felt about smoking and convinced himself that hiding it was the only way to avoid losing me.
I told him that, to me, the lying was what ultimately put our relationship at risk. If he had trusted me enough to tell me the truth from the beginning, we could have dealt with it together. Instead, he made that decision for both of us by taking away my ability to make an informed choice.
To his credit, he never denied what he’d done. He didn’t blame me, call me controlling, or tell me I was overreacting. He apologized, admitted that he had broken my trust, and accepted that what he did was wrong.
Since then, though, everything he’s done has made this situation much more difficult to process.
He told me he wanted to cut down for me, and since that conversation he’s been smoking one cigarette a day. I know that isn’t the same as quitting, but it is still a change from before.
Whenever I’ve asked him how many cigarettes he’s smoked, he’s answered honestly. He hasn’t hidden it again, tried to avoid my questions, or made me feel guilty for asking.
Over the last two days, we’ve had long conversations about our relationship. Instead of spending all our time arguing about smoking, we’ve talked about how we can communicate better, rebuild trust, and become better partners to each other. I’ve genuinely been trying to stay hopeful because I don’t want one mistake to define a relationship that has otherwise meant so much to me.
I also made a conscious effort not to shame him. Instead, I told him I was proud of him for trying to cut down because I thought encouragement would help more than constant criticism. He seemed genuinely touched by that.
Since everything happened, he’s actually become more affectionate instead of pulling away. He checks in on me when I’m quiet, notices when something is wrong, asks me what’s bothering me, tells me he misses me, sends me little things from his day, and has been making a real effort to make me feel loved and reassured.
That’s why I’m so conflicted.
Part of me keeps thinking that if someone can hide something important for two months, how do I know they won’t hide something else in the future? Once trust is broken, it’s hard not to question everything.
The other part of me sees someone who made a bad decision out of fear, admitted it when confronted, accepted responsibility without making excuses, has been consistently honest since then, is trying to reduce his smoking to one cigarette per day, and has genuinely been putting effort into rebuilding both my trust and our relationship.
I know two days of good behaviour don’t erase two months of dishonesty. I also know that rebuilding trust takes time and consistent actions, not just apologies.
I’m struggling to figure out whether this sounds like someone who made a serious mistake and is genuinely trying to become a better partner, or whether I’m focusing too much on his recent efforts because I love him.
For people who’ve experienced something similar, either as the person whose trust was broken or the person who broke someone else’s trust, what did rebuilding trust actually look like? If you were in my position, what would you do? Please don’t say leave or anything like that, I genuinely am not looking for that advice.

TL;DR: My boyfriend of 2.5 years hid the fact that he was smoking for about two months because he says he was terrified I’d break up with him. I have strong personal and moral objections to smoking and don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs myself. When I found out, he admitted everything, apologized, took full responsibility, said he’d cut down for me, and has been honest and transparent ever since. We’ve spent the last two days talking about how to improve our relationship and rebuild trust. I’m torn between judging him for the lie and recognizing the effort he’s made since.

It genuinely hurts to be almost 22 (21M) and still never have had a first girlfriend, a first kiss, or any romantic experience like that.

Back in school, the first girl I liked (around 15F; I was around 15M) was my best friend’s girlfriend. Out of respect for him, I never tried anything with her (around 15F). The second girl I liked (around 16F; I was around 16M) completely ignored me when I tried to talk to her (around 16F). It was painful having to see her (around 16F) every day until graduation.

In my school friend group, I was always the one who never had a girlfriend, never kissed anyone, or had any romantic experiences, while my best friend was naturally great with women. I have never considered myself ugly, and I am not introverted either. I just feel like I have never been lucky.

I can count on one hand the number of girls who have been interested in me, but I did not feel the same way about them. I do not want to be with someone out of obligation. I want to genuinely love someone.

The third girl (17F; I was 17M) came into my life near the end of high school. She (17F) was the most popular girl in school and seemed to like me a lot. Honestly, I still do not know why. She (17F) was very affectionate with me and even planned a birthday celebration for me during our graduation party, since both events happened on the same day.

However, she (17F) had a boyfriend. She (17F) respected that relationship, and everything she (17F) did with me had clear boundaries. She (17F) never took the next step, and I did not want to interfere because it would have damaged my friendship with her (17F).

When I finished school at 17 (17M), I had a lot of hope that things would change in college. However, when I started, I did not meet many women. There are very few women in my degree program, so it has always been difficult.

During my first semester, I met a girl (around 17F; I was 17M), and we started talking. Everything seemed to be going well with her (around 17F), but when I finally asked her (around 17F) out, she (around 17F) started making excuses and never agreed to go.

At 19 (19M), I had the closest experience I have ever had to a relationship. She (around 19F; I was 19M) seemed perfect: intelligent, beautiful, sweet, kind, and everything appeared to be going well. Even the way we met felt special.

However, she (around 19F) had a lesbian best friend (around 19F; I was 19M) who was very protective of her. From the beginning, her friend (around 19F) disliked me and was bothered by the fact that I talked to and spent time with the girl I liked (around 19F). Over time, her friend (around 19F) started speaking badly about me, and eventually the girl I liked (around 19F) stopped talking to me. I never saw her (around 19F) again at university after that.

Now I am almost 22 (21M) and only two semesters away from finishing college. It hurts that I have not achieved anything romantically or experienced everything that comes with love and relationships. All of this becomes even more overwhelming when combined with the stress of trying to find a job while watching my friends find jobs and maintain relationships.

I am a very family-oriented person. I enjoy spending time with and showing love to the people I care about, especially my mother and father. Most of the rest of my family is difficult to deal with.

I would love to spend holidays with my parents and a girlfriend. I want to experience what it feels like to have someone care about my birthday and genuinely want to share those moments with me.

Most importantly, I want to experience the kind of young love that I have always enjoyed seeing in anime, books, and movies. I do not want to reach 35 or 40 and only then experience those things for the first time.

I do not know what I am doing wrong or why I have not had any success. I just want to experience love at least once before I die.

TL;DR: I am almost 21 and have never had a girlfriend, kissed anyone, or experienced a romantic relationship. I have liked several girls throughout school and college, but circumstances, rejection, or bad timing prevented anything from happening. I am not introverted and do not consider myself unattractive, but I feel left behind while my friends find relationships and jobs. I want to experience young love and do not understand what I may be doing wrong.

me m(22) and my gf f(19) have been together for a year now. At first everything was great. Never argued perfect couple. of course i know it never stays that way we’ve had our fair share of arguments and we’ve over came them. our sex life in the past was good normal young people in love.

but recently it did a complete 180. we moved in together and everything then she got put on birth control (iud) and followed the doctors orders of not having sex for two months. after the two months it started back up again but wasn’t as frequent as it was before. but now recently she literally never wants to. we can make out be naked the whole shabang but nothing ever happens. it’s that she’s tired or has a headache or her stomach hurts.

is it the birth control ive heard them mess with your hormones and makes you unattracted to someone you were attracted to. i just don’t know what it is. please help what do i do?

tl:dr- girlfriend went from wanted to have a sex life with me all the time to never wanting to anymore

im 16 and i've never really had any close connections to guys. never had my first kiss, never held a guys hand, never got asked out. the thought of being in a relationship does cross my mind sometimes and do get wishful of having a boyfriend. today i got asked out by a guy, and i feel so suffocated for some reason. he's not pressuring me or anything, just a simple "wanna go out sometime?". the thought of having a boyfriend doesn't feel right anymore and suddenly the wish to find someone for me is completely gone. i can't figure out why im feeling like this and i feel broken. any girl my age would never give up the opportunity to go out with a cute guy. everything just feels disgusting now. why?
TL;DR why do i feel so trapped after getting asked out

I dont often post on reddit so please bare with me on spelling and formatting

My mum is a wonderful kind and loving woman helpful and such a hard worker, the problem lies with her mental health me and my siblings have been seeing an increase in stress and breakdowns, she refuses help and often when having these breakdowns she lashes out and yells and shouts at us, i feel so lost we have recommended therapy but she refuses.

She has become overly stressed because of her job and the company she works for being in chaos, she is an accountant or does finances i cant entirely remember, we try our best to comfort her but she pushes us away all the time. I am getting worried that there is nothing i can do and the more this happens the more scared i am that she is going to do something dangerous like hurt herself

Tl;DR mum is having breakdowns and refuses help

Background/TL;DR!: We have worked together just this summer. We met a couple years ago, but only in passing. Now that I (18F) have gotten to know him (19M), I think we would honestly be really great together. However, he's going back to college (I'm still in HS) for his second year at the end of this summer, and it's possible he won't be back next summer, saying it's unlikely. I'm asking for some guidance because I don't know how to tell him/if I even should.

PROS
We're both artists and that's important to me
He's funny
He makes work so much fun
We agree on politics and stuff (also important to me)
He's my type
He's really smart
He's tall
We like the same music
He can banter with me really well

CONS
I work with him and if he rejects me and comes back to work here everyone will know and it will be very awkward
He is friends with my other coworker (they've known each other before they started working with me at my job) and I'm not sure if she would be upset because it would make things weird. She says she doesn't like her friends dating each other because it makes things awkward.
He just broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years and I know he's upset about it/not fully over it yet.
He's 2 school years ahead of me (We're only a year and a half apart though and I've dated older than him)
He goes to college while I'm still in HS. I will most likely end up going to a college nearby but I still have a year of school here still.

So I've been in an exclusive relationship for about 3 months.

Things were amazing at first — she was so into me, and we were staying together 3-4 nights a week. She was talking about having kids down the line and asking when we were going to live together.

It peaked 3 weeks ago when she introduced me to her surrogate mother who whispered in my ear, “in 20 years, I’ve never seen [her name] let a man hold her like that.” We went home and had sex three times — she was talking about falling in love.

Everything was great when I left, and then over the past few weeks things have deteriorated massively; she has progressively become more cold and distant.

Her dog had to be put down last Monday, and things have gone downhill dramatically since then.

She froze me out before finally inviting me over on Thursday.

When I arrived, she was in a foul mood and then said, 'I think things are coming to an end between us.'

She said her dog dying made her realise some things; she has things to work on, and she's not ready for a relationship.

However, we proceeded to have sex twice; she then became more affectionate — she fed my dog and brought me coffee in bed on Friday morning.

Things started going downhill again, though — I went over on Tuesday night, and she was looking for any reason to criticise me.

We had sex, but she was cold when I left on Wednesday morning.

Later that day I asked what I could do to be a better partner, and she finally opened up — she said she'd checked out weeks ago, and I didn't even realise.

Of course, I did.

She called me, and I finally let it all out — she asked why I let her get away with disrespect and why I did not say anything.

I have tried to communicate with her, but she always makes excuses and does just enough to make me feel like we've patched things up.

She acknowledged that she is self-sabotaging and that she's a complicated person — she said she's scared of getting her heart broken.

Things started getting emotional, and she said she's a terrible person.

I said it would be easy to walk away if she were a terrible person, but I've seen the good in her, and that's what makes it so hard to leave.

She ended up coming over, but her mood suddenly shifted again.

I was using nitrous oxide, and she said you're doing your own thing, so I'll leave.

She knew I was using nitrous and said she was going to bring a balloon.

I put it away and kept reiterating I wanted her to stay, but she left in a bad mood – we hugged but didn't kiss.

She messaged me Happy birthday xx ❤️🥳🤪🫪 Hope today is a grand day. Whatever youve got planned on Thursday morning, and we briefly exchanged texts — she was meant to come over for birthday sex and to stay the night, but I haven't heard from her since.

We're also supposed to go away for the night tonight, but I've heard nothing...

A big thing in all this is she wants so much sex; she kept pushing for sex on Wednesday night.

I explained that I don't feel like having sex when she's being cold and distant — I think that's partially why she left in a bad mood on Wednesday night.

We were having great sex when I felt loved and appreciated by her, but as she's becoming colder and colder, I haven't been wanting to have sex and struggle to perform when we do.

She also wants me to initiate sex more and be more dominant — I am on methadone, which massively lowers my testosterone and libido. I am currently tapering down to counteract that, but she seems to be losing patience.

She has an extensive history of trauma and, without a doubt, has an anxious-avoidant attachment style — she is a hyper-independent person.

She occasionally opens up about her trauma and acknowledges its role in our relationship.

Is this on her? Is she simply not capable of being in a relationship now? Or is it partially me? That she's simply not attracted enough to me and I'm not satisfying her sexually.

Or could it actually be that she that she really does like me but is self-sabotaging?

I just feel like she wouldn't be treating me this poorly if she liked me enough — she treated me so well for the first couple of months.

I basically feel like she's using me for sex at the moment — she just wants to see me for a booty call basically.

TL;DR: GF has become increasingly cold and distant — I finally voiced my concerns on Wednesday night; she acknowledged she's self-sabotaging, and it felt like we were getting somewhere, but she then left my place in a bad mood on Wednesday and didn't come over for my birthday last night.

We talked a lot yesterday how we can go forward. She says she still wants to build a relationship but her feelings just don’t match up to that right now.
I can’t forget her and go cold and neither can she as she says.
Being Ldr doesn’t help at all ofc but this is more about her not feeling love or affection as she should for this stage, so she thinks. She still has feelings for me, that being said and right now she has a lot of other problems as well that affect her heavily.

We are also not officially a couple yet but were pretty close to it.
Maybe a real relationship is really not working for us, atm or in general, but we can keep something in between?
I wanna try and she wants to hold contact as well but how useful is it really?
Or should I really just cut contact completely off even tho I really don’t want to

**TL;DR; : uncertain feelings at her side, no clear cut wanted. Can we go forward if both still have feelings for each other even tho on different levels?**.

I’m a 20M and I’m in a situation that’s been affecting me mentally, and I’d really appreciate some honest, unbiased advice.
There are two girls.
Girl 1 (20F): We went on a date, and I genuinely had a great time. I enjoyed being around her, and I feel like there’s potential for something more. We’re not exclusive, and she doesn’t know that I’ve developed feelings for her.
Girl 2 (19F): I met her on Hinge. In the beginning, she was incredibly affectionate lots of compliments, consistent texting, making me feel wanted, and saying things that made it seem like she really liked me. Looking back, it felt like love bombing because everything moved so fast emotionally, but I’m not saying that’s definitely what it was. Over time, I developed genuine feelings for her too. She also doesn’t know how I feel.
The problem is that recently she’s become noticeably distant. Our conversations aren’t the same anymore, replies are less frequent, and I can’t tell whether she’s genuinely losing interest, dealing with something in her own life, or if I’m simply overthinking it. The uncertainty has been eating away at me.
Part of the reason it’s affecting me so much is because around 1–2 months ago, another girl told someone, “I ghosted him because he wasn’t up to my expectations.” Whether that was the full story or not, hearing those words completely shattered my confidence. Since then, whenever someone starts pulling away, I immediately wonder if I’m just not enough or if I did something wrong.
Now I’m stuck because I genuinely like both girls, but for different reasons. I don’t want to lead either of them on, and I don’t want to make a selfish decision. At the same time, I don’t know if my feelings for the Hinge girl are because I truly like her or because I became attached to the attention and affection she showed me at the start.
To be clear:
I’m not dating either of them.
Neither of them knows about the other.
Neither of them knows that I have feelings for them.
So I’d really appreciate some outside perspectives.
Is it okay to continue getting to know both of them since nothing is exclusive?
How do you tell the difference between genuine feelings and becoming attached because someone made you feel wanted?
Should I try talking to the Hinge girl about the change, or should I take the distance as a sign and move on?
If you were in my shoes, what would you do?
Please don’t sugarcoat it. If I’m overthinking, being unfair, or making mistakes, tell me. I’d rather hear an honest opinion than just be reassured.

TL;DR: I’m a 20M who has developed feelings for two girls (20F and 19F). I went on a date with one, and I met the other on Hinge. The Hinge girl was very affectionate at first but has recently become distant, which has brought back insecurities from being ghosted before. Neither girl knows I like them or about the other. I’m not exclusive with either of them, and I’m trying to figure out if it’s okay to keep getting to know both, whether my feelings are genuine or just attachment, and what the right thing to do is.

We have been together several years now. I feel like we had a common trajectory in our sex life where things were hot hot - but after a few months we settled into a comfortable routine and it’s never been at the level I’d like.

Part of me doesn’t care that much because I’ve never been a hugely sexual person but I do think I want more - or at least to understands more what he wants.

I would say we have great physical affection - he touches my breasts a lot, my butt, etc - he is very handsy. But I don’t feel like I know much about who he is as a sexual person. For example, he asked once at the beginning of our relationship if we wanted to watch porn together. We didn’t but it hasn’t come up again since and I’ve tried to approach the subject again and even ask what he likes about porn, what kind of porn he enjoys and he won’t answer. He just says he stopped watching it for the most part since we got together years ago. Honestly, I believe him because I don’t know when he would watch it unless he’s doing it at the office or the middle of the night, lol.

We’ve never gone much into fantasies or past sexual history. Again, these are topics where he won’t share much and is really unwilling to divulge too much. I’ve picked up things in the past like he enjoys outdoor sex, the idea of getting “caught” and that he’s a boob guy.

And then in the bedroom, sometimes things feel repetitive or even at times a bit… awkward? I think we’ve both expressed frustration that we don’t mix it up enough with sex but I don’t know how much more creative things can get. He doesn’t really enjoy going down on me and he’s not great at it, so I don’t push it. It feels like we have a set sexual routine and we do it maybe 1-2 times a week.

When I give him handjobs or blowjobs he will often just lay on his back and put his pillow over his head to focus and it makes me a bit sad and I end up feeling disconnected - like he’s a million miles away. It’s not always like this but I wish we could feel less awkward with eye contact or dirty talk but it’s just - it does feel awkward. I am an awkward person but I suppose in the past I had better sex with partners that were much more sexual and more dominant than I am in the bedroom. Perhaps my husband just matches my energy too much.

Any thoughts or ideas?

Tl;dr how to have a more open sex life with husband? Things feel awkward at times

I'm 31F and talking to two men. I known the other one for 3 years so I trust him more. But I know he can't take me, he said that he is not yet ready to be in a relationship with me but always shows me signals that he really wants me but said that he not that stable yet to be in a serious relationship with me (ldr), but we are really really good close friends and knows what been going on with me for the past 3 yrs now lol.
I've been really looking for someone for years now that looks for stability and ready to be serious in relationship (coz we're not getting any younger), until I met one 6 months ago (also ldr), one that gives me reassurance and everything. I know, I do like everything about him. But I feel like my heart feels safer with the one I knew for 3 years. I know this is bad. I'm not sure if this is just because of familiarity. But I can use some advice especially if you've been through this before

---

**TL;DR;** : is it possibly because of familiarity that's why my heart feels safer with the guy I've known for a longer time?

tl;dr - need advice on first date and what to do.

Hi, I'm 18, and I'm going on my first date. I saw her in a flower shop and brought her a rose as I thought she was beautiful ( I did some whole stupid pick-up thing - but I can't be bothered to unless someone wants to hear). She asked for my number when I gave her the rose and said I'm cute - she's 18 too - and started to text me a couple hours after. I told her I'll take her out on a date, and she seemed quite happy about it - as she said she's never had a bf or a guy ask her that.

I know she likes art, reading and being outside and cooking. Now I never had a gf or been on a date, so I don't know where I should take them , what to talk about, what l should and shouldn't do and what I should wear , and if I should get her a gift

She's French and Asian mixed if that helps. Edit- the dates tomorrow I forgot to write this

TLDR: My sister asked me to purchase a Stand mixer for her where I refused due to the fact I am still a university student and all of my money comes directly from my parents. She called me ungrateful as she bought me a pair of expensive headphones for my 18th birthday with her own salary.

My Sister (27F) messaged me to ask me if I (22M) could purchase her a Stand mixer. I refused as a stand mixer would cost a lot of money, however I did not ask how much the Stand mixer in question would cost, I just assumed the ball park price of a regular Stand mixer which is quite expensive.

My sister then sends me a long message saying how she was just asking to see how I would respond when she is short on cash and wanted something and would've not taken the money. Then she brought up how she bought me a pair of headphones which costed half her salary for my 18th birthday and I was being ungrateful and how she would always pay with her own money when we ate out even though my parents gave us the money for the food.

For context my sister does currently live with my parents (it is part of our culture) and I am away from home for University. So the Stand mixer would end up being a part of our kitchen. She is also currently employed.

I refused the purchase as currently all of "my money" comes from my parents and is meant for my living costs and school fees. So this purchase would technically be coming from my parents, and it has been an unspoken rule between me and my parents where I would consult them whenever I want to make a big purchase. I was also of the opinion if she was getting it for the house she should be the one to consult our parents as well. However I have heard from my other siblings the relationship between my sister and my parents are currently strained due to other reasons.

I was planning to one day find a way to repay her for taking care of me when I was younger once I got a job and earned my own money, as I felt if i were to buy her a gift now it wouldn't mean much as the money did come from my parents. I did take her out for dinner once with the money I earned from a short tutoring gig a while back but that's besides the point.

I just want some advice on how do I even respond to her or what should I do as I don't want our relationship to become strained because of this.

I (24f) and my partner (24m) have been dating for 3 years. I love him very much and we have a very healthy relationship. This week his dad passed away, he was sick in the ICU and was not getting better. I was with my partner through it all and stood by him next to his father, and watched his father peacefully pass away surrounded by family. It was a incredibly difficult and emotional time. I feel so drained and maybe a bit traumatized from the situation.

I'd like to hear from others who have maybe been in similar situations and what you did, how you handled it, and just how to process things while still supporting your partner. I do talk therapy once a week and neurofeedback once a week, which I think will help.

TL:DR I watched my partners father die and am feeling a bit traumatized. How can I process this and support my partner too?

Background: There too much background in my profile dated back many years ago on the whole fiasco his mother situation. But I tl;dr basically my mother in-law has separation anxiety with her son, I get it I do, here in America she has NO ONE left, her husband (his father) died, her daughter (his older sister) die, all her relatives are back in her homeland.

3 months ago his mom got put on Hospice, I told him he can put a hold on work and care for her in the months she has left in our marital home At Home Hospice, my inheritance is enough to cover. After treatments for 3 months in and out of the hospital, her health improved, now she got taking off Hospice status.

Doctors said if her health get worst they will put her back in Hospice, but for now she no longer qualify as the Hospice 6 months to live definition, so she off Hospice status now.

The problem here is she ONLY wants her son, and only her son. I tried everything including kneel on my knees and beg her to leave my marital home and go to luxury private care. She finally get her to agree to go to Nursing Home, and I will pay extra with my inheritance for 1:1 nurses around the clock take turn to care for her. With ONE condition:

Her condition is that she be in the Nursing Home Monday through Friday (so her son can work), and Saturday and Sunday she wants to go back to our marital home so he can care for her 24/7. I didn't want to agree, but I have to, so she can leave my marital home and go to Nursing Home, at least for Monday to Friday so her son can work.

She also wants her son to take her to Dialysis 4x times a week, which the whole Dialysis process take 5 hours each time and he has to sit with her the whole time to talk to her and cater her. Which my husband said when he go back to work next month, his work schedule won't fit this, and my husband has to scheduled the nurses in the Nursing Home to take her. She not happy.

My husband has to go back to work beginning next month. His boss even come knock on our marital home door asked him to go back to work. He already took 3 months off. And it not an option, he hold Executive level at work, he cannot be off work any longer.

Problem solve that is his mom agreed to get transfer to her Nursing Home, money is not the issue for us, I can pay for ALL her care with my inheritance. The problem is he has to work Monday through Friday with a stressful job, if you ever work Executive Leadership role you will know it a stressful job.

But then now Sat-Sun on weekend she demands her son to care for her 24/7 in our marital home. And then he will take her back to her Nursing Home Sunday night. She wants NOBODY else except her son, she wants TIME with her SON. The whole problem here is she not want nurses to care for her Sat-Sun, she wants TIME with her SON.

I'm at my wits end, I say nothing and just su-ck it up, because my husband not have backbone with his mother. But my husband need at least a day off to recharge, he can't work Monday through Friday at a stressful job, and Sat-Sun has to care for his mom 24/7

No, hire a nurse won't solve it. No, has her at her Nursing Home Sat-Sun too won't solve neither, as she demands to be home with her son on Sat-Sun. His mother WANTS her SON. The whole problem here is she WANTS her SON. And he has no backbone to say No to his mom.

I'm trying to calm in all this, but I deep down inside I am upset. I know he has alot on his plates, and I do not want to nag him about this. It just F my life. I know be with this man means his mom comes as a package. But what the F can I do if he has no backbone with his mother.