r/Parenting • u/Big_Huckleberry_3118 • 1h ago
Family Life Teeth Brushing? Anyone?
To keep it short-ish...brushing teeth for my SS12 is a twice-daily ordeal. That isn't surprising but I get frustrated with the reminders, listening for the brushing, watching the brushing, checking that toothpaste was used, etc because I'm the only one doing it. My husband doesn't care if his kid brushes.
When I complained to 2 friends, one said that she only brushes her preschooler's teeth 1x per day, and the other said that she lets her kid face natural consequences of having fuzzy teeth.
I'm not interested in natural consequences because I want my SS to build habits & routines. I honestly thought this was basic & now I feel so alone in my principles! My husband says I'm the only person that cares about this and I should just let it go, but obv I'm not going to. But it would be so great to have support.
Can anyone out there please confirm that they feel like brushing 2x a day is really important?? 😠​
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u/dngrousgrpfruits 50m ago
"natural consequences" in this case is neglect. Period.
Tooth brushing is a non-negotiable in our house, from the time they have teeth. Twice a day brush, floss before bed.
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u/seethembreak 35m ago edited 21m ago
Your husband is wrong in that children should brush their teeth 2x a day but he’s right in that you need to let it go. This isn’t your child and you can’t care more than the child’s parent. I mean, you can, but it’s pointless and you will drive yourself crazy. His dad not you needs to be the one enforcing (or not) toothbrushing. You are just going to end up being the wicked stepmom by trying to make rules about something no one else cares about.
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u/3boyz2men 1h ago
What’s an ss12
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u/Significant-Bee420 1h ago
i think it’s step son age 12? however that’s a wild guess cuz i’ve never seen it written in that way before lol
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u/Big_Huckleberry_3118 58m ago
Yes that's right! I see that a lot in the stepparenting sub & I'm just trying to fit in lol
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u/I-Really-Hate-Fish 57m ago
In my country, it's recommended that the parents brush their children's teeth for them until they're 11.
This is both to make sure it's done thoroughly, and also to build the habit. Everyone I know has done this. Non negotiable.
I don't know what you can do to a 12 year-old, particularly as a step parent if his dad isn't supportive.
I have my kid's phone connected to mine and can shut it down remotely. I'd probably do that and tell him I'd reopen it once I'd witnessed him brushing efficiently for 2 minutes.
But again. As a step parent, your options for enforcing consequences are very limited.
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u/goshdarnkids 53m ago
My kid is only 4 but we brush twice daily and we floss his teeth at least once a day. We are doing it for him still and are planning on doing it until he can show us he can do it properly.
Really expecting to be doing this until he is 8-10.
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u/Haunting-Respect9039 Mom 44m ago
It is really important!!!! I don't know what the adults around you are thinking.
Yeah, sometimes my toddler doesn't want to, but that's life bud. We're not sharks, we don't get to shed teeth when they have problems.
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u/nanimal77 1h ago
Your husband doesn’t care about his own son’s teeth?