My little cousin had a story-writing question in his exam. It had to start with this girl who found out that she could talk to animals. He wrote that when more people find out about this, the girl is hunted by the government, experimented on, and eventually she commits suicide. Kids are brutal.

We were leaving, and I asked her to call for the elevator. She stood in front of it, yelled “ELEVATORRRRR!” and gave me a big smile.

I couldn’t be more proud!

Dude, you're 6 years old. Just brush your teeth and stop trying to philosophy your way out of doing the things you need to do.

So our 4yo son has started to try and argue his way into something by changing what he says, which Just makes things humorous for us.

Examples:

..Driving past a reservoir on a cold day.. 4yo: Can we go swim?

Me: Sorry bud it's way too cold today to swim. 4yo: ...

4yo: No, the water, water is way-warm yeah it's way warm!

[Other times he's just a bit rough...]

..After being sent to a timeout and coming back.. Me: Ok all better now?

(4yo scowling): Yes, I'm happy ..smiles and nods..

4yo: Watch Transformers...please?

Me: No more TV today like we said a min ago.

4yo: Watch Transformers, Pleeeze?

Me: Sorry, no.

4yo: TRANSFORMERS!!!!!!!

Me: Sorry, no. Are you mad?

4yo: NO MAD. I'M NICE.

[Eyeroll]

What humorous dialogue does your child come up with?

Somehow this version of a kid turned out to be a presidents nerd. He loves watching YouTube videos about random facts about presidents.

Last year i quizzed him to name as many presidents as he could from memory, and he named 43, only missed 2! That was way more than I could have done. I had to use Google to check him on a few names.

Hi! Trying to see if other moms out there jot down funny/memorable family quotes :) I have been doing this for years and finally just made something that is better than iphone Notepad app for it. Wondering if any other moms would give it a try/ever use something like this! https://myqb.app/ (IG for an idea of what it looks like: myqb)

She is 5. I thought she was wrong. Apparently, she is right. 😅

My 8 year old was running around with a pie e of ribbon on declared "I have a whip. Flip around and find out."

His response to me calling him a pickle while struggling to buckle his squirmy self in the car seat.

Honestly. Can’t argue with that logic.

I'm looking for a job and mentioned how there were very littler and this is what my almost 11yr said.

Hey everyone!

I’m starting a new YouTube channel for kids learning content 👶✨

This is one of my first short videos about animal sounds 🐶🐱

Would love some honest feedback on how I can improve 🙏

https://youtu.be/W5exlZS2pMc?feature=shared

In response to that prompt, My 6YO daughter wrote: "I wode get pregnint and lae eggs."

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Probably the most accurate answer the teacher got. 😅

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Earlier tonight my 8 year old looked out the window and declared "the fireflies are out. I can see their booties flashing.

I’m 34. I was talking to my 8 year old niece about what she wants to be when she grows up, and after a few minutes of discussing it, she looks me dead in the eye, gives me a contemplative look, and then gravely says, “I hope you’re still alive when I’m older.”

I could do nothing but laugh.

These effing kids, man. 😂

My almost 11yr is on the phone with his friend and they're talking about books. My son is super into graphic novels and his friend said, "I like anime books". To this my kid responded, "Manga.. So, you read glorified comics? That's all MANGA is", emphasizing every word of his response lol.

To be clear; my kiddo's paternal family and step-mom love anime + manga, but his tone of judgment was so funny.

Out at dinner last night with my wife and all three kids. Youngest (3YO) is sitting next to me.

3YO: "Tickle tickle"

Wife: "What are you doing?"

3YO, frantically moving a bite of pancake around on all the syrup on his plate: "I'm tickling my pancake, mom."

I burst out into laughter and nearly fell off my seat. I am not sure I've ever seen my wife so confused.

We were putting laundry in a basket. She is a little actress, she puts on a serious face and pretends to be in Annie. She's 6.

I think I'm going to start doing that whenever I do chores, but the kids would get tired of it.

My 4yo nephew said this to my dad, completely out of the blue. 😂