I was raised by a pretty controlling mother who conditioned me to be a people pleaser. Growing up, I often did things I didn't want to do to make other people happy because I was taught that other people's wants (especially her's) were more important than my own. I'm 30 now, and I'm still unlearning that conditioning. Even today, I tend to agree to things that I don't really want to do because I'm worried people will get mad at me or not want me in their life anymore if I say no. I'm learning to be better about honoring my own wants and saying no without feeling guilty or over-explaining myself.

My girlfriend works at a recreation center, and she got me to join their recreational volleyball league. Three weeks ago during a game, I slid for a ball and landed really hard on my left knee. Even though I was wearing knee pads, it hurt really badly. I had to take a break from yoga for a bit to let it recover (which was really hard for me because my mental health is very dependent upon my ability to do yoga regularly.)

Last week, there was another game, and even though I tried to be careful, I ended up reinjuring my knee. I also didn't play well because I was so worried about hurting my knee again that I was holding back. I know I probably shouldn't have gone, but I put pressure on myself to go because people on the team see me as one of the better players and I didn't want everyone else to be disappointed. I talked to my girlfriend after the game because she could tell I was in a really pissy mood about my knee being hurt again. I told her I probably wouldn't come to next week's (now today's) game because I really need my knee to be better so I can get back to doing yoga regularly.

My girlfriend texted me earlier today "You're not coming today right?" (likely because she was putting together the line-up for the game) and at first, I did what I usually do. I drafted a bunch of responses explaining that I really wanted to go but that I didn't want to re-injure my knee again and to tell the team I'm sorry and making a bunch of excuses. But then I deleted all of that and just replied with "Yeah I’m not."

I'm proud of me. I know it probably seems pretty minor, but when you're raised to believe that what other people want is more important than what you want, even small instances of saying "no" to people can be challenging.

Featured food: Chicken nuggets, brazilian cheese bites, and mashed avocado

Sushi time!

I had to request security to escort me to my car bc I didn't know if a creeper was waiting for me outside. He was following me around inside the establishment and even asked me for my number. I waited for him to leave, and while he left, he kept looking at me through the glass doors. That's when I didn't feel safe walking to my car alone.

It's not a big deal, I handled it safely by asking for security. It's no biggie if i didn't mention it to hubby, right? it's a place I frequent and have never had any problems. Mostly, I would hate for him to discourage me from going.

I thought I was bisexual when I started a relationship with my now husband more than five years ago, but now I'm absolutely sure I'm only attracted to women.I do believe my husband is my soulmate. We also have a child together and I'm truly happy. I would never leave him for another person (gender irrelevant). I feel really conflicted sometimes.

Breakfast: supermarket sushi

Boston crème cake

I would consider myself an introvert. I only started coming out of my shell when I got a boyfriend. I broke up with him last year and struggled with putting myself back out there, but got there eventually. I’ve gone to new places, seen shows, a s gone to concerts all by myself. I recently had an experience that makes me not want to go anywhere by myself ever again.

I decided to a yoga retreat and within one hour of being there, a man twice my age SA me. I have dealt with my fair share of creepy old men so I am usually very alert and aware of my surroundings and very distrusting of men. I stupidly let my guard down a little because I figured a guy at a yoga retreat wouldn’t try to do anything and a guy twice my age wouldn’t try to do anything. Boy was I was wrong. I had plans to go out of town for work and canceled them because I didn’t feel safe traveling alone. I usually go to a relative’s summer house, but I’ve not made plans to go this year.

I have an elderly neighbor who has not left our town in 50 years. She does not go anywhere besides the senior center, hospital, grocery store, and friends/neighbors’ houses. When I found out I felt sorry for her that she lived such a small life. Now I understand. I fear I will become her. Yes, the safest option is to become her. But what about living life?

some time ago i said i would never get a pap smear for personal reason, but decided to take the jump and get it over with. I also wanted to make sure I didn’t have any hidden issues health wise. It felt like my soul was being dragged out of my vagina. I’ve gotten tattoos, piercings, hormone insertions, and other stuff done and this was one of the most physically uncomfortable experiences i’ve had in my life. I don’t think i can explain the anxiety and discomfort properly. 

The doctor said it would take less than a minute so i was like “ok it shouldn’t be that bad” and boy was i wrong. idk it felt way longer than that. They also didn’t give me anything for pain or anxiety despite people saying you can request for it, so that was a bummer. Afterwards I had to like hold my doc’s hand to ground myself because whew, and we kinda both laughed 😭 felt a bit sore afterwards but it went away quite quickly.

But yeah i’m glad i finally had it done after avoiding it for years and having anxiety about it. I know this may be mundane and not a big deal to most people but it was for me. -10000/10 recommend it though. oven cooked frozen pepperoni pizza from the grocery store 🍕

I made a NY strip with truffle parm goodles, blistered tomatoes, and bacon wrapped asparagus.

A little over a month ago, I (30F) broke up with my boyfriend of 10 months for being controlling and talking down to me. I’ve been a bit of a hermit and focusing on my mental and physical health. I have been keeping up with the World Cup because I played soccer the majority of my life. I was excited to watch the England vs Argentina game, so I got a little group together and we took off work early to watch the game at my favorite sports bar in my city which is in Texas.

I was secretly hoping that maybe I could meet some cute guys while watching the game and chat it up a bit. I looked cute and had on my little England jersey crop top on.

After the game ended with England losing, I went to the bathroom and as I was walking back to my friends, a young, attractive British man stopped me, and this is how the conversation went:

Asshole: Are you even English?

Me: Yeah

Asshole: Not with that accent, you’re not

Me: My father is from England, I am from here

Asshole *gets within an inch from my face and yells* FUCK YOU, YOU’RE NOT ENGLISH

Me: oKaY

I hurried back to my table, obviously upset at what just happened since I was minding my own damn business. I spent the rest of my afternoon with my adrenaline through the roof and thinking of what I could have done or said. I was genuinely so taken aback in the moment.

I truly don’t know where these men get off. I’m so done with the whole lot of them. Pathetic, fucking assholes.

Thanks for listening to my TED Talk.

So my sister is currently in 10th grade while I just finished my high school and a lil backstory, when I was in 10th grade I had 0 freedom to go out or hang out with my friends or even use the bus. I was so annoyed by this and I had to stay home except for going to school even on a saturday/sunday I had to stay home and study​​. My parents arent divorced but don't live together so I was staying with my mom till my 10th grade and I lived with my dad when my 11th grade started.

The first time I ever got to even go out of my friend was to a mall and it was after my 11th grade got over. After this, my sister also got to go after her 9th grade to literally all the malls, go to her friends house whenever she wants, buy clothes together, stay out even after 7pm

It's soo annoying only because I couldn't get the same freedom she got and even now, I had recently asked my dad to let me go to the mall after my 12th grade just got over and i had to practically beg and make my friend talk to my dad just to let me go😭

But my sister has all the freedom and gets to go shop with friends blah blah

Its just unfair I can't get the same freedom ​​​​​​

Birria tacos ( my first time trying them!). Basically Monday a coworker comes downstairs to ask me something and then goes “are you pregnant?” In front of everybody.

I’m not. I’m not trying either. Nor am I close to this coworker literally at ALL. I’ve been struggling w weight gain the last year which means at work I’m in xxl tshirts and baggy pants but in the last 6 weeks I’ve been working out, moving more, eating better, etc and now I just feel so embarrassed/ defeated almost.

It just came out of nowhere and I was facing away from her basically so I’m not sure what about me looked it. I said “no” and went back to my work and she lingered with this grin on her face. Mind you this woman is probably 45 years older than me.

I feel embarrassed and just down and idk why I’m still thinking about it

Canned 3 bean salad, heart of palm, half a tomato from 2 nights ago, leftover chicken, mashed potatoes, yogurt/Miracle Whip to combat any chicken dryness.

I want a salad. I don’t want the stupid diarrhea lettuce. I don’t want to get Cyclosporiasis. I want a CDC that actually tracks diseases. I don’t want people getting sick from foodborn illnesses.

I just want to eat the way I usually do and not risk getting sick. Every day I feel like I woke up in a dystopian third world country that I can’t escape. 2026 sucks. Worse than Murder Hornets sucked, but ok not as much as Covid 19 sucked.

TW/ drug lacing mentions
Hi girlies- this isn't a full on trauma dump more of a cautionary tale but I want to encourage everyone to be careful with who they get/share joints with since I don't see it talked about often & hadn't heard of it much before it happened to me!

Lots of people know about spiked drinks but some people intentionally lace joints (and cigarettes) too- i once smoked a joint laced with meth and ended up losing my job bc I showed up to work the next day high on meth- and only know it was laced bc I ended up in the hospital with mania and they drug tested me. I've also smoked a joint someone gave me at a queer event that was laced with something that made me sleepy and a little confused and everything a little fuzzy. Things could have easily ended up a lot worse in both situations.

long story short- please be as cautious with accepting weed/smokables or sharing hits with strangers that you don't know the intentions of as much as you would be with getting a drink from a stranger where you didn't see the bartender pour it. Be safe out there girlypops xoxoxoxo

Edited to add- meal is crappy egg scramble with leftover ham mushroom onion and thyme from my garden

after a decade of balancing debt, bartending late nights, getting 3 degrees, navigating trauma and ptsd, moving into my own place alone, i CAN FINALLY take myself to a nice dinner alone and not completely panic about the bill. i have been living paycheck to paycheck so long this was just not really an option & most of my fun experiences have been luck or chance or whatever like concert dates or family trips. i also volunteer a lot at the library, humane society, and furkids and constantly feel like i’m not really doing enough because my job is pretty corporate and i lose sleep over feeling like i’m not making a difference. so to be able to do this makes me feel almost guilty but i took a huge step by coming out tonight after getting a really good promotion and it does feel good. take care of yourselves, ladies!!!

ETA: if ur where i was a few years back, message me and let me buy you a latte. let’s turn this into something nice and beautiful. i’m serious!!!! (i’ll probs stop at like $100)❤️

We've been together for 11 years, had a baby a year ago. Usually we have an argument maybe a few times a year, on very rare occasion do we have a BIG argument, I can count them on one hand from our 11 years together. BUT my husband can absolutely be a dick if he feels wronged. Generally however he is a true 50/50 partner who always puts us first and works hard, great father, etc.

Our baby hasn't met his parents because they live in another country, are older, and he/they haven't made concrete plans and quite frankly I'm not going to put the effort in if the 3 of them won't do it for themselves. I wanted to visit my parents, who live across the country, at their cottage and bring the baby because I grew up with cottage summers and it was a great way to spend your childhood. It felt really special to bring our baby here and share this with her. He didn't want to spend the money because we already saw my folks at Christmas and Mothers day, and he wanted to see his folks in Sept (which we still planned to do, and we have the money/dont really need to choose between the two things). Anyway, he's honestly been kind of annoyed about coming here, and I told him he could stay at home, but he didn't want to be apart from the baby for more than a few days.

On to tonight - my prenatal group messaged in our group chat wanting to get the babies together for their 1 year birthdays, theyre all born within a few weeks of one another. I replied sure and shared a quick video of our baby in the lake for the first time. My mom and I were prepping dinner when husband called out to me and asked why I shared a video of the baby without his consent, and I asked why that was such a big deal as it was with the prenatal group, and theyve seen the baby before / I regularly hang out with 3/7 of them. He replied that half havent seen the baby since last fall and he doesnt want strangers to have a video of her, but tbh in the moment I felt like he was just trying to start an argument because he's pissy about being here or something, or maybe not? We had a really nice day on the boat etc and I have no idea why he needed to come at me the way he did. Anyway, we bicker back and forth and then I say that his parents havent even met the baby and I still send pics to them, which was wrong of me for sure and made him quite upset because he them started yelling at me that it isnt the same thing at all.

A bit after, at the dinner table he brings it up again, in front of my family/parents, and says he doesn't understand why I couldn't just apologize for not checking with him about it in the moment. I said I deleted the video and he asked why he had to yell in order for that to happen, and why I have to ask him why its a big deal when shes his daughter too and he should have a say in where she is posted. I said I honestly didn't think a private group chat with people who have met her before was the same thing, and I don't really know how the fight got out of control from there really, but all of a sudden he's insinuating that we're going to get a divorce - saying "If thats the way you react to me then I don't know about this relationship, but no we can discuss that back in ______" (our city). The way he said it though was so angry and seething almost, and he swore during as well. My parents were fucking silent, my mom tried breaking the silence to give us some advice about babies and children and differences in wants and parenting style can put pressure on a relationship, tbh I was too emotionally overloaded to even hear what she was saying and asked her to stop. At the end of dinner, my dad, who is the king of dad jokes, asked if we were both done, and then clarified that he meant with our plates and not the relationship. I couldnt help but laugh and neither could he.

Now i'm sitting at the boat launch up the road after putting our baby to bed, and tbh I am absolutely mortified, and so heartbroken. How I have written it here definitely paints me as the aggressor, but the way he questioned me about it was aggressive and felt super off, which is why I responded the way I did. I honestly feel like I can't stay in this marriage now, I am beyond embarrassed and feel like I made a huge mistake with him, but I also look at my daughter and feel that it wasn't a mistake if it brought her to me, but I also feel like he has disrespected me and clearly has no love for me at all considering I've been gone from the house for 2 hours and he hasn't bothered to check in or anything. I honestly feel like running away. I feel like a piece of shit, like anybody I love just always ends up not loving me the way I love them. I honestly don't think there is any way to come back from this.

Dinner pictured is sushi from postpartum, but I had roast pork and veggies tonight and didn't take a photo. At least the baby loved it? It was sawdust in my mouth.

I recently ended a three-year long relationship in which I was, to put it lightly, anxious and unhappy after the first break-up. fast forward to now, I've gotten together with a boy from my class (fuck the IB, by the way xP) four months ago and oh my LORD !!!

I never thought I could actually be this happy with a person; I went from being told to wear a skirt during sex because my body is unattractive and undesirable (I'm a bit on the curvier/chubbier side) to being treated like the most beautiful goddess this man has laid his eyes upon. every time he sees me he jokingly bites his lip or makes a comment about how gorgeous I am, and since I struggle with my body image, he's trying his best to convince me that he loves me regardless of it and my body is just a bonus, hshs.

I could look like a trash panda that crawled out of bed three seconds ago and he'll look at me like the gift of God himself has been bestowed upon him. I never considered for a moment I could truly feel so loved.

AND TO ADD A CHERRY ON TOP: HE'S AN ABSOLUTE NERD, AND SO AM I !!!!!! our chemistry is unmatched and the way we awkwardly flirt and geek out about our interests has me in pieces UGHHHHH girls I love him

and for the scran: fruit salad with a lemon-basil dressing for dessert, and a cherry sparkling water !!

edit: grammar-schmammar

Hickory brown sugar bbq chicken thighs, homemade veggie skewer, leftover broccoli and roasted baby potatoes 🤤

——

My husband did the most adorable thing for me and I need to tell the world.

Background context: I (32F) work full-time as an accountant, but on the side, I’m an author writing her debut spicy fantasy romance novel. My husband (34M) is a sports and statistics guy who has only ever read non-fiction books and would never choose to read any fiction books (but fully supports my endeavours regardless).

When I finished book one, I asked my husband if he’d read it so that I could talk about it with him since it means so much to me. He always responded with a “I’ll try, but you know I’m not a reader and I don’t want you to be sad if I don’t love it.” Which is completely understandable, but still, I wanted to share what I’ve been working on for the past year with him.

Fast forward to this month. I went to my family’s cottage for a weekend, but my husband had to work so he stayed home. On my way back home with my sister, I kept saying I needed to go to the gym, but was super tired and didn’t want to. She kept pushing me to go, which I thought was odd. Then when I get home, my husband was also really pushing me to go to the gym, which again, I thought was odd, but was happy he was thoroughly supporting my fitness journey.

So I went to the gym, then came home to a printed binder of my book (all 450 pages) with highlights and hundreds of notes by my husband. Turns out, he purposely stayed home from the cottage to print my book, binge read it, and comment/highlight all over it to give me all his thoughts while he was reading. He said he planned this surprise for over a year and he was just waiting for me to be done with the book, and waiting for an opportunity where he could easily be home alone. He still had 30 pages left when I was coming home, which is why he told my sister to push me to go to the gym! The best part? He LOVED it! (I assume because I was the one who wrote it 😅 but still!)

I’ve never happy sobbed so much in my life going through his notes (which he sat with me to read together and discuss). He said he was actually scared because I turned purple from happy crying so much 😭❤️

—-

TLDR; my non-reader husband surprised me by printing my debut fantasy romance novel, secretly binging it all, and leaving me hundreds of notes for me to treasure for the rest of my life 🥹❤️

Ladies, remember: IF HE WANTED TO, HE WOULD.

Feat: my 1st attempt at swedish meatballs. Not a very good one.

I got a head injury 3 months ago and I'm sooooo over it. I started physiotherapy last week and it worsens my symptoms so much. The PT said it was going to get worse before it gets better but hey, can I get to the next part already please?

My sisters kids are at my parents for a holiday (there's 4 of them and sis is only coming next week). Sis & her kids live abroad so we don't see each other too often.

We went to visit my parents and the kids over the weekend. It was nice seeing them (and I look forward to seeing my sister next week!), but it left me so fatigued and I had a migraine after. I can barely talk to 1 person without problems and 4 kids and my own parents were too much for my poor post concussion syndrome brain. (My mom just talks. So. Much. Every. Time. And dad wanted to talk about his health problems and he never talks about those so I was kinda freaked out).

My husband planned to visit my parents today again to finish fixing some stuff he started over the weekend. And I was soo not feeling up to the chaos of that household today.

So I lied to my husband like a cowardly bitch 😬

I booked a massage for todays afternoon to help aleviate my symptoms. I absolutely knew while booking the massage that husband wanted to go to my parents today, as he mentioned it on Monday already.

But hey, I usually remind husband of our plans like 3 separate times because he always forgets about everything. I think I deserve to "forget" the plans once in a while as well, right?

Soooo yesterday when my husband said he plans to go to my parents today I was like "oopsie doopsie I completely forgot, honey, sorry, I booked a massage for the afternoon and I can't cancel so late, there would be a fee! Can you go there alone?"

The most funny thing is that if I would say "hey I'm not feeling up to it today" he would be just like "okay, stay at home and get some rest" 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

But he would either have to lie to my parents and tell them I have a baaad migraine or something, or my mom would guilt trip me next time we would see each other. And the kids would be loudly disapponted that I don't want to see them. And my dad would be quietly disappointed. Because if I would go there, the kids would focus on me instead of on them and my parents are tired already - but hey, it was their choice to take 4 kids for a 2 week holiday!

And I just didn't want to deal with all that.

So here I am, lying for the first time in our 10 year marriage about forgeting our plans.

When I am the anxious person that never forgets any plans.

I have no idea if husband bought the lie that I forgot about the plans (probably not). But whatever, at least I can go enjoy my massage and peace while husband deals with the pandemonium that is my parents household right now. Good luck, honey, I'm already SO SAD about missing it.

Yummy pizza I had with a friend in the park.

I'm 32f and I'm blessed to be with the most amazing guy ever (35m) He isn't perfect by any means but he's perfect to me and I truly want to spend the rest of my life with him. We are both ride or die.

Earlier this year I went through a lot of life events, moved in with him in a different city, transitioned into my new job role that I had trained for for years, and I also unfortunately started spotting (bleeding) almost every single day out of no where.

I've been to 2 different gynos, had ALL of the testing done, pap, transvaginal ultrasound, hormone panels, etc. All came back negative, they told me no explanation and they gave me BC & sent me packing.

This really put a damper on my sex drive, as I've been really scared, anxious, and just ashamed tbh, this combined with my high stress job that was killing me working 12 hours a day as a hairstylist in a high end salon. It was like night and day and my desires just disappeared.

I think he's the sexiest guy in the world and my attraction to him hasn't changed but having an ongoing issue that's embarrassing combined with a low self esteem and being always exhausted it's become a chore for me to be intimate. I ended up quitting my job and that also caused me a lot of depression and I've become insecure about my body.
He told me he's okay and he'll stick by me regardless, but I know our lack of intimacy probably affects him and it makes me so insecure and sad for him

I just want to feel like a normal young woman again and have a normal intimate life with my partner. It's caused me a lot of depression and anxiety - but in the end I guess I'm blessed to be with a man who is so understanding and actually loves me for who I am and isn't just with me for sex. I truly feel i don't deserve him.

Sliced cucumber with lime juice and Tajin. Bowl of baked sweet potato, carrots and tomatoes with some A1 on it. And Advil PM because I can’t sleep for shit! Doing a re-watch of The Crown.

I’m quitting drinking again. I’ve been sipping on some shitty domestic beer I don’t even like to keep the shakes away today. I’m also just hungover af.

I can’t do another day of this. The waking up late feeling like death. Being afraid I sent a cringey text. Being afraid I was rude to my husband, who deserves the entire world. The impulse purchases online for junk I don’t need. Being heavier than I want to be. The GI issues. The damage in general I know I’m doing to my body/organs. I could go on and on and on. So yeah. On one hand, I know this is going to suck as soon as the cravings come on. But I’ve done it before, so I KNOW I can do it. So this is a happy girl dinner post, because I’m happy for a new chapter in my life. I fucking need it ☀️

If anyone wants to share their journey with quitting alcohol I’d love to read it. Also tips on falling asleep without alcohol are hugely welcome lol. Otherwise thank you for reading. It feels good to get it out sometimes ❤️

TLDR: I’m tired of being drunk every day. I’ve quit before and I’m going to do it again, hopefully for good. Happy for a change.

okay. maybe i’m gonna get some steak is so juicy comments for this but, i cannot stop attracting men who want to dominate and control me?? first of all im an aries and come from a long line of men-beating women. it’s not even that i don’t like to be dommed and little but it always comes out right in the beginning of talking to someone?? like same day of meeting their like “obey your master” “be a good girl” blah, like??? uhhhh i’d rather bite every finger off than be like ok daddy tehe. FUCK.NO. i will ruin your life. what is it about needing to control me??

genuinely i don’t even reject this energy, WHEN IVE KNOWN THEM LONG ENOUGH THAT I TRUST THEM. i get the ick so fast once it comes out on day one. i don’t want that energy anywhere near me, it’s performative and frankly majorly lazy. if you can’t flirt just say that, “obey your master” fuck outta here, blocked.

rant over :) chicken caesar salad

Hello. I just had my third baby and am barely a week post third C-section. I love my new little girl.

However, this pregnancy has not been easy. It started with my husband admitting he hasn't had romantic feelings for me for years. I cried a lot during the last nine months. Mourning the romantic relationship I always wanted to have. A supportive partner I could trust with my heart.

I've been doing what I can to try and mend the relationship in this time. While he refuses to quit drinking and only recently started to agree to not use hitting as discipline for our children, he struggles with being reassuring. Kind words go far with me and it seems he withholds.or really doesn't have anything kind to say. Being mean or critical comes more naturally to him regarding me.

Two days ago I was home on maternity leave with the newborn. It was a rough day as I hadn't slept the night before. I was on baby duty then, of course. Then that evening I made everyone dinner and struggled immensely trying to get my oldest son's bags packed for an overnight school trip. Imagine a very sore mama trying to dig through closets for stuff for an hour and a half. I ended up finishing at around nine thirty at night. I was becoming so frustrated, sore and uncomfortable I started crying. My incision hurt from dragging out heavy boxes and leaning over so much. He was drinking and playing video games. He asked my why I was crying and I told him. Then he went back to video games. I ended up crying in the shower and skipping my dinner.

He agreed to watch the baby that night and was heading to bed early. I was uncomfortable with him doing it after drinking a whole bottle of wine but I was so exhausted. Either way I felt unloved and neglected so I asked him if he even liked me.

He called me insecure and questioned how I could have had a hard day if I was home all day.

I went to bed.

I'm sorry this was long but my chest hurts and there is no end in sight.

He's not a bad guy. In fact he's often on this reddit page trying to post consoling messages to other women.

It's just me, I guess.

When I was heavily pregnant, right after he promised to help more with house stuff, he got shingles. I was still working full time and now had to handle two boys and the house alone every morning and evening. I didn't even complain even though it was very hard. I'm mentioning this because I thought it would make him happier with me. Or to appreciate me.

It didn't.

I'm not asking for advice. Just venting.

Don't let people treat you like this. That's going to be a lesson I will pass down to my daughter.

Never accept less than you deserve.

Background is that I (31F) am divorced. I financially supported my ex-husband for 6 years of marriage through med school and he left me for an affair with a patients daughter 1.5 years into residency. This left me starting over with debt, no savings, no cash, maybe $30k retirement. We are still actively going through court things even though we’ve been officially divorced for over a year and separated for two.

I finally sold my house and moved back in with my parents from a where I had moved for my ex’s residency in the last few months and I met my bf in January. He’s genuinely sweet and caring, and really wants to make me happy. He’s conflict avoidant, and generally goes straight to “I think it’s time for you to leave” any time we have an argument. Last time he did this was because I told him I didn’t have fun at his 11yr old nephew/1 yr old great nephews birthday party and that I was disappointed we stayed longer than anticipated when we had plans and it was a last minute decision for us to even go bc his dad is not in good health and guilted him into it. He broke up when me a month earlier because I got very upset with him that we had holiday weekend plans and he decided we were going to go car shopping for him for a new car when I have very little time off and told him multiple times how important it was to me that we take advantage of a long weekend by doing something fun. He gets unlimited PTO, I get 15 days a year. He said we should take a break and then he just went back to normal and said he regretted breaking up with me. He told me he’s never had a relationship that lasted longer than a year.

Anyway, he’s been offered the same position twice now that pays ~$200k couple states away in a low low COL area that has a direct path to C-Suite level, and current C-Suite roles for that company are around $1mil. He currently makes around $125-150k in a low COL area for a regional mgr role that he’s only been in for a few months and finds boring with little room for moving up.

He’s asked me what to do and I keep telling him I think he should take the role if he wants to since it aligns with his goals. I have promised him I won’t break up with him based on his decision either way, but I also told him I can’t promise that I’ll move with him. I moved jobs every two years for my ex’s career and now I’m suffering because of that. I can’t be starting over again at 35 with no retirement, no support system, etc if this goes badly, and my current employer is the best employer for my role in the area my parents live in. I don’t love it, but it’s the first job I’ve had the opportunity to stay at more than 2 years so far and it’s the best work life balance I’ve had so far.

He seems to want a guarantee from me before he makes a decision, but we’re not married, we’ve known each other for 6 mos, he’s already broken up with me once, and quite frankly even if we were married, his salary is his salary - it doesn’t go to my retirement. This move benefits me in zero ways other than I would have a reason to travel and explore a new place/potentially live in a new place with him. It’s a huge risk to me.

I would love for everything to work out, to have a happy ever after exploring a new city while my love finds fulfillment in a way that works out for me, but I already tired that and it ended terribly. I still think he should take the job because he needs to do what’s best for him. But I also need to dk what’s best for me. I don’t know what to tell him. Any advice appreciated.

Edit: ladies, I need to do what’s best for me that’s - that’s a decision, not a question. What I need your help with is the best way to tell him this. I feel like we were already put in a losing scenario whenever he decided to seriously consider this job in the first place.

Amazing dim sum service for dinner.

Dinner: everything bagel with cheese and butter. dog in picture is not my dog, but she is a certified sweetie.

I (35f) broke up with my 10-year long relationship (42m) about a year and a half ago. Since then we shared custody of our sweet elderly yorkshire terrier. Painfully millennial, but it mostly worked.

Until I met a new guy (43m). I have started a new relationship with a very sweet, supportive man. I’ve slowly been letting love in, and it’s been hard but good. I made the mistake of bringing new boyfriend to the 30-sec dog exchange during an errand run, not thinking anything of it. I thought things were fine, but actually, that’s when things exploded.

The day before my next dog pickup I get a vet bill for $600. He went WITHOUT TELLING ME. It‘s that high because Ex decided to get a bunch of optional preventative tests that we had already discussed not getting because of the additional cost & overall health of our dog. While we did have the money technically, the money was earmarked for our yorkie’s next dental procedure (if you know you know).

Ex wouldn’t acknowledge it or respond to texts until I confronted him in person a week later.

Ladies, he made me feel insane.

Denying remembering that we’d ever talked about it, but that if we had, it wasn’t a big deal, and if I think it’s a big deal it’s because I don’t love the dog enough. Oh yeah, and I’m a liar & and a bad person trying to punish him?? And he refused to pay the money back.

And then he hit me with his “proof“ I don’t love our yorkie: HE’S BEEN WEIGHING THE DOG’S TOOTHPASTE AFTER EVERY TRADE-OFF AND I DONT USE ENOUGH.

He was so upset at this point we was slurring his words, bulging his neck, and puffing out his chest. I realized then that it was over.

Because while I love my yorkie, I knew my poor dog was just going to be used as an avenue to hurt me. 💔

Unfortunately even though I pay for half of all costs and take care of him half of the time, all of the paperwork etc goes through my ex. And while I could fight, I don’t have the strength to deal with an erratic toothpaste weigher.

Fridge is mostly empty, so using a bagel to soak up my tears. I can’t stop thinking about my dog will wonder what happened to me & think I don’t loved him. I don’t want my dog to be sad.

Chicken tinga loaded fries from work.

Anyways, I am 10 weeks pregnant today. Desperately want to keep it but I don’t think I should due to the father giving me the general vibe he doesn’t care about the pregnancy and everyone telling me not to keep it and that I’ll ruin my life. I just wish he would say we could figure it out but even when he does say that it’s like I shot him in the foot lol so I’m probably not going to keep it. I get it he already has a child that he “suddenly” felt guilty about when I got pregnant (lol! yay! love that me getting pregnant helped you pull it together buddy)

The only thing I’ve ever wanted ever and I have to get rid of it is genuinely making me lose my mind. I have cried every single day and I have a procedure scheduled tomorrow (my third one after I bailed out of the first two) and the only thing tiding me over is my excitement for a Newport 100 and to have a shot. This would be my second abortion too. great. I’m fucking pissed.

EDIT: to be clear. the reason I am making the decision I am making is due to feeling like I wanted a life and a child with someone who wanted that with me, not to be forced to have one by me. and I want to be someone’s priority and to be loved and adored and ever since I got pregnant life has not felt that way. I don’t think I should bring a baby into that. I feel forced but I am not forced. This is a decision that is emotionally taxing but needs to be done. Thank you.
also he does take care of his child. yall make me sick lol im not that dumb.

I am 36 years old, and I think I was born a lesbian. For as long as I have been around, I was a woman attracted to other women and that was enough for me. It became more complicated as time went on and my relationships became more nuanced and complicated at the same time.

I changed my name (and I still like it, so I'm keeping it) and my pronouns (again, keeping "him") but I sometimes find my own identity so confusing that I realize it's best to explain what my gender identity is by saying what's bluntly true: I'm just [my name].

I had identified as pansexual for a really long time, and maybe I still am, but I experimented and found out a lot about myself: I just love women, but after everything... my experiences that seem to invalidate myself, my changes in perspective years later after specific events, whatever...

I came back around from being a person who thought I was a man because I wasn't able to feel comfortable in my own body, to a bearded, slightly more muscular lesbian who finally feels more at home with himself.

Grocery store sushi.

Hey everyone, here’s a picture of some yummy pancakes. I’m here because I wanted to ask the girls and guys about how to move on after a divorce. I need some help with glow up tips. being married has ruined my body and has aged me and I’m afraid I will never be able to find someone who will think I’m beautiful or attractive enough. Feeling pretty low and afraid of putting myself out there again clearly feeling pretty low self-esteem and was wondering if anyone has had similar experience or has any words of wisdom encouragement, or anything else to say. Thanks love you guys.