My boyfriend (33M) has never been married, while I (38F) was married and with the same person for 19 years. We’ve been dating for about a year and a half. We’ve broken up three times and gotten back together, so yeah… it’s been complicated. I’ve been divorced for almost two years.
Long story short, I’m a teacher and a single mom of two kids under 6. It’s not easy, to say the least. Right now my kids are with their dad for part of the summer, so I’m on summer break.

Last night, after my boyfriend got home from work, I made him chicken-fried steak with homemade gravy, mashed potatoes, and green bean casserole from scratch.
I cook a lot, especially when my kids are home, and sometimes he’ll grill. Whether I cook or he cooks, I’m always the one cleaning up afterward. It’s my house, so I also end up doing most of the household chores. This week, while he was staying with me, I even did his laundry.
Tonight, I brought up something he’d said in the past about us “being a team.” I told him I didn’t feel like we were acting like a team anymore because he never helps clean up after dinner.

His response? “You didn’t do anything all day.”
That immediately triggered me.
Then he said, “Can I not just relax?” and asked what my problem was because I was “bickering” at him.

I’m sorry, but I came out of a marriage where I was taken for granted and did everything. I refuse to go back to that. I told him that if I didn’t tell him how I felt, I’d eventually resent him. He’s always preaching the importance of communication, so I thought that’s exactly what I was doing. I never raised my voice or attacked him—I simply told him how I felt.

Later, I asked if he’d go for a walk with me after dinner. By that point I’d already cleaned up the kitchen while he was lying on the couch with his eyes closed. He said he didn’t want to go, and I told him that was completely fine. Then he groaned and said, “Noooo, I’ll go.”

The thing is, I wasn’t trying to force him. Honestly, if you’re in a bad mood, I’d rather just go by myself. I was genuinely okay with that—not “fake okay.” He truly didn’t have to go.
He kept insisting that I was upset, and eventually I just gave up and went to take a bath.

When I came out, he was angry, saying I couldn’t let anything go. His apology felt half-hearted, and he said I just kept dragging things on. At that point, I did get mad because he raised his voice. I yelled, “Don’t worry, I’m over it all,” and walked out of the bedroom.
He went to sleep. I stayed on the couch reading my book before eventually going to bed myself.
The night before, he’d been upset with me because I stayed up late watching TV while he was sleeping. He was literally snoring, and I was watching with subtitles so I wouldn’t wake him. After that, I read my book for a while, and apparently he didn’t like that I was staying up late either.

What’s confusing is that not long ago, he made a comment about saying, “Let K do what he wants to do.” Okay… then why can’t I do what I want to do?
This morning, he left for work without saying a word—not even goodbye. Great. That’s always a wonderful way to start fixing things.

At this point, I know we’re clearly not ready to move in together, and honestly, I already knew that. I’m also nowhere near ready to get married again.

Am I expecting too much by wanting my partner to help clean up after dinner instead of assuming it’s my job every single night?

Edit: He does help me around the house with little things if I ask him, but it’s never a -you must do this. I even tell him if he’s tired it can wait.

We are in a long distance relationship, and he recently visited me, his male co-worker asked how his trip was or whatever and he said it's been good and he visited a friend, I don't know if he's just trying to be professional because he is at work but it hurts being his friend, early in the relationship I was also referred to as his "friend" when he talked about me to his family. I don't know if this is normal for guys because I openly refer to him as my boyfriend to anybody, my old classmates, friends, etc. I am not opening up about it to him yet I fear it might seem like I'm being too emotional over something small.

We have been dating since May 2026, but we’ve been friends since May 2023.

Unfortunately, a day before my birthday his mother suffered a horrible injury. He texted me on tuesday saying she had been hospitalised, he’d been at the hospital all day, and that he hasn’t been able to use his phone or answer texts. She had fallen from a significant height, had facial and internal injuries, and even had a seizure in the hospital. So it was REALLY serious.

He told me he’d talk when he had time. I said I love him and I understand but to not worry about me and focus on making sure she’s okay. He’s so sweet that despite him going through so much, he wished me at midnight on Wednesday on my birthday.

After that, he disappeared and of course I understood. I was worrying the whole time so I texted him that I love him and I hope his mom is okay. He loves her a LOT, like a lot. He’s very very close to her.

At one point in our relationship, he said something that I found hurtful. He said “I love you a lot but I will always choose my mother over you”. This was bad because I never asked him to choose between us. He said it only to showcase how much he loves her. I have a terrible relationship with my mother so I struggle with understanding familial relationships as easily and I also have BPD and it’s very very painful for me to hear something like that.

Anyway, after wishing me on my birthday, he stopped responding. I checked in to see how his mom was and how he is, but he hasn’t responded. Yesterday, I was so anxious and I was afraid that something truly horrible happened and she isn’t here anymore, and he’s grieving her and that’s why he’s so withdrawn.

I was anxious enough to text his best friend to get some information on my bf. He said that my bf is okay, his mom is stable now and she’ll be okay in a few weeks. He said that my bf isn’t doing mentally okay and he’s busy at the hospital.

I said that it’s great that she’s doing well and that he’s okay too, but can he (the friend) please tell him (my bf) that I miss him and I wish he’d text me once reassuring me that he will reply as soon as he can because it’s been quite a while and I’m really worried. I hate uncertainty, but I feel horrible because this situation is out of his control and maybe he needs to be away from me to deal with it. But I don’t know for how long because he won’t speak to me.

It’s been three days!! Is it unreasonable to expect a text like “I’m okay. I’m still at the hospital. My mom is alright. I’ll text when I can, I love you”. It would take less than a minute. Especially because he’s in contact with his friend and not me. But I feel guilty for thinking all this and expecting him to act a certain way and reassure me. I don’t want to make someone’s family troubles about my feelings. But like I said, I have BPD and he knows that. Silence is incredibly difficult for me. I’m trying very hard to seperate my fear of abandonment from what is actually reasonable to expect from a relationship.

If your partner disappeared for three days because of a family emergency like this, would you expect at least one short text, or would you consider complete silence understandable?

I need honest opinions because I do not trust my own judgement right now. I’ve never had this happen to me before (in a healthy relationship).

TLDR: My boyfriend’s mom is in the hospital after a serious accident. He wished me happy birthday and said he loved me, but then stopped replying. It’s been three days and I’m worried. I feel hurt that he hasn’t sent even one text, but I feel guilty for wanting him to. Is this an overreaction from my part?

ETA: (i commented this but also putting it here for context) he told me that he’d pick his mom over me in 2023. i should’ve clarified that our relationship had always had a romantic undertone. we would hook up but didn’t date until this year.

ETA 2: im going to stop responding now. i appreciate everybody for helping me understand this situation better by illustrating where i was in the wrong. i wish some people had been kinder, because i really am struggling and it hurts to read things that suggest that im too selfish, too needy or too much to be in relationships, or that i sound 15 lol. i can be immature but it still hurts to read that. i’m sorry for blowing up at people, i got reactive because i felt hunted. i know that sounds dramatic but it did seem like some people responded very aggressively, im too sensitive for it despite knowing better and i apologise

what happened to his mom was a horrible accident and it came out of nowhere and neither of us really knew how to deal with it. that’s why i came here for objectivity. thank you so much to everyone for different perspectives.

I'll try not too make my story complicated and stick to important details only. So if any additional context is needed. Lmk.

Anyways, im insecure. And a lot of my insecurities are about my body. I had 2 kids under 2 and watching my body change so drastically has made my insecurities worse and I feel like I don't even recognize myself. I've expressed this to my husband. I tell him my fears that he doesnt think im the most beautiful girl in the world anymore. He doesnt compliment me nearly as much as he did before I had kids. And its adding to an already big insecurity. He reassured me and I moved on.

I go to the gym almost everyday. Im now down to 125 lbs. But I still feel very insecure. That morning I went into the bathroom to send my husband a post workout. When I looked at the photo, all I can see was my flaws...so I never sent it. I was scared he wouldn't want to see a photo of me.

Anyways, long story short. After the gym. I got hundreds of photos of me from a friend that she took right before I i married my husband (we've been married 4 years). Just photos at our hangouts. Long ago I mentioned these photos to my husband. He said he would LOVE to see the photos of me and I should find a way to get them. Well it took a few years lol. But I finally got them from her. When I came home I mentioned them to my husband. I said "oh ya remember those photos I mentioned SUPER long time ago?" He said yes. I told him i finally got them. I asked he wants to go through them with me.....he said "i don't want to lose my appetite"

I immediately just went quiet and he could tell my mood shift immediately and said "thats a joke" I just said ok. But I wasnt talking as much. He said "are you seriously mad? It was a joke" I just said that it wasnt very funny to me considering how he already knows im insecure that he doesnt find me beautiful anymore after i had our kids. And its a weird thing to joke about. I mentioned that just that morning I didnt send him a photo of me at the gym because I was scared he wouldn't find me pretty. So the "joke" is just hitting an insecure spot for me.

He sighed and rolled his eyes and said he couldn't believe I would ruin the night over a joke. And he got up and walked away.

Conversation was eventually forgotten about. For the most part. But again today we were talking. Don't remember the context but I said something needs to be bigger (i wasnr talking dirty) and he said "you know what else needs to be bigger?' And he touched my butt. I went silent again for reasons you can already guess right now. He got mad again and said "holy cow it was a joke" and made me feel like im overreacting. So im asking here. Am I over reacting ?

I (26F) have been friends with S and N (both 26F) for about 10 years. We've always considered ourselves a trio.

A little backstory: 2 years ago, I briefly hooked up with a guy, A (It was my first time actually which I dont count because it was extremely bad). It was never a relationship, and I've completely moved on, barely in a day actually. I'm actually getting engaged next month, and both of my friends are invited. "A" also happens to be a family friend of N, so they still see him occasionally.

Last year, when "N" got engaged, she had lied to me saying it was only family. Then I got to know that S had gone. She later told me she didn't invite me because "A" was going to be there., that was the reason. I wasn't thrilled, but I respected that it was her engagement and moved on. She did call me to her wedding.

In last year end, S and N planned a weekend villa trip. They never told me about it. I only found out because of Instagram. When I confronted them, they said they didn't tell me because "A" was coming and they assumed I'd feel awkward or hurt.

And guess what, the same thing, exactly same thing happened this year some days ago.

A few days ago, the exact same thing happened again.

Here's the thing: I genuinely wouldn't have gone anyway. If they had simply said, "We're going to a villa, but since A was coming, we'd rather keep it this way," I would've completely understood. I wasn't expecting an invitation. My fiancé's birthday was that Monday anyway, so I already had plans around that weekend (although they didn't know that). They didn't even tell me they were planning a trip.

What hurt me is that they chose to hide it instead. One of them even video-called me while they were at the villa saying she missed me, without mentioning where she actually was. Later, I found out that N had specifically told S not to tell me anything because A was coming.

This is now the third time I've felt like things have been intentionally hidden from me. It feels like they keep deciding how I'll react instead of just telling me the truth and letting me decide my own feelings. I tell them about everything happening in my life, and they're two of the very few close friends I have left.

To me, the issue isn't that I wasn't invited. It's that they repeatedly chose secrecy over honesty. I told them exactly that, and now I'm wondering if I'm making this into a bigger issue than it is.

AIO?

Posting here because I need as much advice as possible.

My wife (30F) and I (30M) have been together for 10 years. We have been married for 6 years. She truly is my best friend and I really love her. So much that my heart hurts even thinking about the topic of divorce. Cause losing her would be awful, but I really have no clue what to do. I don't want to cry right now but even thinking about the situation makes my heart hurt.

When our relationship started getting serious we obviously had the important conversations about marriage and if we want to have kids or not. We both agreed that we want 2 kids. We said we would wait until we have travelled the world a bit and then we would start a family. So we agreed that we would probably wait until we were thirty before even thinking about starting a family. By the way, she is the one who initiated this conversation, she was the one who told me that she wanted to have 2 kids at some point and I agreed. So it's not like I led the conversation and she felt like she had to agree with me.

Our life together has been great, our life has been so amazing that I'm in shock that I'm even considering divorce. Of course no marriage is perfect but I would say we were very happy together. We've travelled, laughed, gone on so many adventures. I truly feel like I have made the most out of my 20s. Which is great. But obviously this year my wife and I turned 30, so last week we had a conversation and I brought up the topic of us having kids again. Then again, the past 10 years we have been on the same page about this topic.

To my surprise, when we spoke, my wife mentioned that she actually doesn't want to have children anymore. She has loved being child-free and she has realised she never wants to give up this freedom. And I understand that. But wow...that shocked me. I physically felt ill when she told me, not because there is anything wrong with being child free, but I felt ill because I realised me and her had completely different life goals. That was difficult to hear. I told her I respect her decisions and I will never ever force her to have kids. But I needed a moment to just think about if I'm okay by child free for the rest of my life. So we paused the conversation, and the past week has been awkward.

Over this past week I've realised that I truly want to be a father. I know that if I don't have kids I will regret that decision for the rest of my life. And I don't want to live with regrets. Being a father is important to me. Me and her have different life goals...and that's okay, but it's made me realise that in order to achieve my life goals I probably will have to divorce my wife.

Which feels awful to say. She's my best friend. And the love of my life. Leaving her will break me emotionally. But I don't see any other solution, cause clearly me and her don't see eye to eye on a very important topic. Neither of us should be left to live our life with regret. Now I just feel like a terrible person, leaving her feels so wrong. I said my vows and clearly I can't stick to my vows if I won't be able to stick by her side no matter what.

I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore.

Would I be a terrible person if I divorced her because of this?

I’ve been a passive reader on this subreddit for years. I’ve always used it to read about other people’s situations and, in a way, process some of my own. I never thought I’d actually be writing my own post, but the last few days have left me really confused.

So, a bit of backstory.

I’m a 33-year-old woman. I have bipolar disorder, ADHD, awful migraines, and a mild blood disorder. I live quite far away from my mom with my husband, so helping her isn’t something where I can just drive over for an hour when she needs something.

Growing up, I had a difficult relationship with my parents, especially my dad. After my parents divorced, I mostly lived with my mom. She’s always been incredibly hardworking and ambitious, and because of that I grew up pretty fast. I helped around the house a lot, but it often ended in arguments because I never seemed to do things the way she wanted.

When I was 16, I had my first manic episode, followed by the worst depression I’ve ever had. Looking back now, I can see how hard that must have been for my mom. She worked herself to the bone, she worried constantly, and I think she tried to control everything because she was terrified of losing me.

Eventually I ran away from home. As awful as that period was, it became a turning point for both of us. Our relationship actually became much healthier afterwards, and over the years we’ve become really close. She also got help for a lot of her own trauma.

That’s why this has been so confusing.

Because of my own health, I haven’t been able to be there for her the way she’s been there for me. That’s something I’ve felt guilty about for years. So this summer I finally thought, “Okay, I actually have the energy to give something back.”

I took almost two weeks off to stay with her. It’s the longest I’ve been away from my husband and home in years. I even asked one of my close friends to come and help with some of the bigger jobs around the house and garden that are difficult to do alone.

At first everything seemed okay.

Then, almost out of nowhere, she started getting really short with me. She’d talk down to me over little things, and when my husband came for a few days to help as well, she spoke to him in a way I’ve honestly never heard before.

He told me almost immediately that he didn’t feel welcome and that he didn’t want to come back. I respected that completely. I’d never expect him to keep helping someone who’s talking to him like that.

A couple of days later, my mom said something to me that made me stop. I calmly told her that what she’d said had made me really sad.

Instead of apologizing, she became angry and told me it was hard always having to think about everyone else when nobody thought about her.

Two of my friends were there helping in the garden, so I really didn’t want to get into an argument. I ended up apologizing, even though I didn’t really feel like I had anything to apologize for.

Afterwards I tried to explain it away.

She lives with constant pain in her feet, she struggles to walk, and she’s alone a lot because everyone lives far away. I know chronic pain changes people. I know loneliness does too. So I kept telling myself that maybe she was just overwhelmed.

Later that day, when we were standing alone together, she started what sounded like an apology.

Instead, she told me that I was just too sensitive and that I’d never been the easiest daughter.

Again, my friends were only a few meters away. I was so caught off guard that I honestly don’t even remember what I said. I think I just agreed with her.

The thing is… she’s not wrong that I’m sensitive. Between bipolar and ADHD I get overstimulated easily. I know I wasn’t an easy teenager. I know she went through a lot because of me.

But hearing that after spending two weeks trying to help her, bringing my friends to help her, asking my husband to come help her… all I heard was, “You’re still not a good enough daughter.”

On the drive home my husband told me he won’t be helping her again. He said enough is enough.

Honestly… I understand him.

If she asks why he won’t come back, I’ll tell her the truth.

But I also feel guilty. She’s done so much for me over the years, and still does. Part of me feels like her pain and everything we went through when I was younger explains why she’s acting this way.

At the same time, I don’t think it’s okay to treat people like this, no matter how much pain you’re in.

If this continues, I know I’ll have to confront her, but I keep wondering if I’m making this into something bigger than it really is.

Am I overreacting?

I appreciate all the feedback and comments left on my AIO post. Before I talk about what happened I just want to address some of the comments that said this was fake because I didn't go upstairs after 10 minutes to see if they needed help. I didn't go upstairs because a part of me knew what was happening and I didn't want to walk in and see that, plus if an argument broke out that would've made a whole scene in front of the 40 something people at the party.

Anyways, I didn't answer any texts from my bf or bsf for a couple of days. On thursday I finally decided to send my bf a breakup text and blocked him on messages, then on all social media accounts since he wouldn't stop dm'ing me. Meanwhile, I agreed to meet my bsf for lunch to talk about everything. Worst idea ever. I got to the restaurant before her and got us a booth. When she finally came (30 minutes late) she first brought up that her and my bf were "in love" and that I should support them. When I told her no and that I'm no longer interested in a connection with him and possibly her, she got furious. She then started talking about how I was throwing 10 years of friendship down the drain because of something that doesn't even matter. I told her that it does matter and she'll realize that when he does the same thing to her. Then I said that our friendship was over, which she responded to by practically lunging across the table and trying TO ATTACK ME. Honestly seeing it typed out it doesn't even sound real, and trust me I wish it wasn't. She had grabbed a fistful of my hair before the waiter finally realized and pulled her away. I grabbed all my stuff and just left.

While I was driving home I got about 20 texts of her just cussing me out for leaving her with the tab. When I got home I blocked her on everything that I knew she could use to communicate with me. Since then I've gotten an apology text from my boyfriend's mom telling me that his behavior is inexcusable and she's refused to let him live with her. I've also blocked everyone that was telling me I'm overreacting and that I need to move on. To be fair I was only going to be able to move on by removing them from my life. Besides all that nothing else has really happened and I'm doing pretty well as of right now. I've spent the past few days just watching Love Island after work and going to the gym (yay brinity!) But since it ended Sunday I've just been re-watching Boy Meets World and Degrassi. I know none of that info is super important but I just wanted to let yall know I'm doing good.

Link to original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1upy5xw/aio_or_is_my_bf_cheating_on_me_with_my_bsf/

I’ve been with my gf for over 3 years now and we’re very comfortable with going out without one another as we have been long distance for much of the relationship. However recently a situation arose where I found myself really confused and hurt over her actions regarding going out without me. So basically what happened was I had planned to go to a bar with my friend to meet some other guys on this particular night but found out my gf schedule had freed up so I invited to her to pre game with us and to grab drinks before hand. She agreed and invited some friends but was very adamant that she did not want to be out late and would go home after the “pre game” drinks. So we get to the pre game and everything is normal but I start to hear her talking to her friends about going out to another bar after. Confused by this I asked her if she just wanted to go with us and she said she didn’t want to go because of a previous incident that occurred there with a bouncer (she was not involved directly) despite us having been going there for years and even having going after said incident occurred. I let it go but then she continued to try and get her friends to go out with her to this new bar and extended a half hearted invite to me and my friend despite us being tied to an agreement we already made to meet our buddies later on. She continued on almost pressuring her friends to go out with her and her one friend even responded by saying “why do you even want to go so bad” to which she responded with “it will be fun we can meet some people”. This particular comment made me really concerned and I even confronted her about it but she said she didn’t say that (despite my friend corroborating she did) and she later retreated to saying “I didn’t mean it any type of way”. This whole situation really made me uncomfortable with how bad she wanted to go do something without me plus the comment about meeting people. I know this probably isn’t the biggest deal but wondering AIO?

My boyfriend (23M) and I (23F) have been together 2 years, living together for 3 months. It has been a little bumpy starting to live together. Basically, he never wanted to do any chores at all and by the end of the second month I was doing everything. So I pushed us to make a schedule. I tried to make it fun (or as fun as chores can be) and fair. He moans and groans through it but the worst is the dishes. We're supposed to switch off days cooking and doing dishes, and our little apartment doesn't have a dishwasher so it's a major daily nuisance.

My issue is, he's started being sneaky!

For instance, if Monday is my day to do the dishes, I get up, eat breakfast, walk our dog, go to work, and then come home, we cook dinner together, and I do the dishes before bed. Then Tuesday is his day to do the dishes. We get up, eat breakfast, and then while I walk the dog, he'll do the dishes, and he'll count this as "doing the dishes on Tuesday." But the only dishes in the sink are two bowls, two spoons, and two coffee mugs. Then he works from home, makes Tuesday lunch, we make Tuesday dinner, then Wednesday we have breakfast, he makes Wednesday lunch, we make Wednesday dinner, and then I do all those dishes.

We used to walk the dog together (it was a cute little routine, we'd take our coffee together and chat) and now the second I get my shoes on to walk the dog, he has to do the dishes. Now I'm the only one that walks our new dog in the mornings! It's even worse when he meal preps for the week, he'll make 5 lunches at once and portion them out and he always does it when it's my turn to the do the dishes.

A few times I tried to do the dishes in the morning too, but because he does his in the morning, by the next morning there are so many that I don't have time to do that AND walk the dog before I leave for work. I suggested, how about you walk the dog while I do the dishes (like I do) and he whines that he doesn't want to walk the dog alone because it's boring.

He doesn't want to do the dishes in the evening because it's "his time to unwind." I suggested then, that if he doesn't want to do them in the evening, he should wait until the next morning. It wouldn't mean extra dishes for him. If I wash dishes on Monday night, that means we start with an empty sink on Tuesday morning, we collect all the dishes through Tuesday and instead of the sink being empty Tuesday night, he can just wash them in the morning and empty it Wednesday morning. I told him we can even set aside Wednesday morning's breakfast dishes for me to do in the evening, so he won't accidentally do them. But he said that was stupid and I was inventing problems where there aren't any.

It started to feel like he was putting more effort into being sneaky and avoid doing dishes than he was putting into hearing how I felt and trying to be a good boyfriend to me, and I told him this and he said I was being manipulative and controlling. Am I overreacting? Is the way he's doing it fine, and I can't pressure him to do things the way I want them done? This is the first time either of us have lived with a romantic partner and I'm scared I'm doing it wrong.

Sorry this could be a long one,

My (35f) husband (36m) has a lot of friends, he’s a a very loyal and caring person and very easy to get along with, traits that attracted me to him in the first place, because of this he has lots of friends, not just one large friend group, but multiple groups of 5/6 people.

Because of that, this year he’s has been best man twice, and a groomsman twice, as well as being invited as a guest the other weddings. Well with weddings come all the stag dos and that’s where the problem started. He’s been invited to 7 stag dos this year, one of which he couldn’t make because they were at the same time, but he’s attended the rest, but the issue has been they’ve all been in a 3 month period.

All of these stag dos have been multi day trips away, a few have been abroad, and 3 of them were consecutive.

It’s been rough, and it has caused issues in our relationship, I’ve spent back to back weekends at home looking after the kids, while he’s off having fun, I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted and to be honest it’s been lonely.

We’ve argued and talked about it multiple times, and he’s been sympathetic that this has been tough on me, but his POV is that these are close friends, he doesn’t want to miss out on a special event with them and it’s not his fault they’ve all been so close together. He planned 2 of them being the best man, but they were planned a year in advance and he didn’t know about the other stag dos at the time.

His most recent one was a 5 day trip abroad, apart from being extremely expensive, I wasn’t happy that it was for so long, and he’s used up all his annual leave, I’m again left looking after the kids/ house/ day to day life on my own.

We’ve argued a lot while he’s been away, I’ve felt his communication hasn’t been great in general as well as periods of him not being contactable at all, I felt if there was an emergency with the kids or something along those lines he can’t be uncontactable?? But he’s always had an explanation or excuse.

He’s given me incorrect flight times, told me the wrong days when he’s leaving ect, but he’s said that with so much going on he keeps getting things mixed up, it’s worth noting he has ADHD, so he does struggle with this kind of stuff in general.

Basically it’s just been stressful from start to finish.

So he came back from his last stag do and I won’t lie I was relieved it was over, to which he tells me, he’s going away again this weekend, the groom of the stag do he just attended has arranged a local stag as not many people could attend a 5 day trip aboard, go figure? To which my husband is attending, I was so upset, and I asked him could he not just give this one a miss, he’s been on so many and has just been away with this group for 5 days.

He said he’s not going to miss it because it’s important to his friend, but he did admit he’s known about this for weeks and didn’t want to tell me because he knew I’d be mad.

In the end we compromised and he’s going to get the train rather than drive which means he won’t need to stay over night, he will just be gone for the day, we agreed that’s what he would do.

I’ll admit I’m still not happy with this, I’d prefer him not to go, but I understand his POV and appreciate that he’s compromised to make things easier for me.

My best friend thinks he’s walking all over me and said most women wouldn’t put up with this crap and that he’s being extremely selfish.

I understand that he can’t help the timings, he’s even said himself he wish that it hadn’t been all in the same year, and that he didn’t want to be away as long as he has been, but I don’t feel his prioritising our family and he’s always putting his friends first. And this has highlighted some deeper issues in a relationship, this isn’t the first time we’ve fell out because I’ve felt his priorities his friends over family, before we were together he was single for 10 years and his friends were all he had, he’s so close with them, I don’t want to come I between that but at the same time I’m sick of being brushed aside for whatever social event comes next.

My best friend thinks I should start considering divorce, I’m not sure if this is just a rough patch or if he’s shown me who he really is.

AIO, or is my husband really walking all over me?

I’m looking for honest perspectives because I’ve been going back and forth on whether I made the right decision.

My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 4 years and lived together for about 3. Throughout our entire relationship, I never met her parents. Not only that, but her parents don’t even know we lived together because she chose to hide it from them and told them we were just dating.

One important piece of context is that she’s adopted. Her adoptive parents are her real parents in every sense of the word. They’re very close, they love and support her, and they’re actively involved in her life. This isn’t a situation where she’s estranged from her family or doesn’t have a relationship with them. They have a good relationship, which is part of why this has been so confusing and painful for me.

My family welcomed her from the beginning. She knows my parents, my siblings, and my extended family. She spent holidays with us, went out the country on vacation with us, and everyone knew we were together. Meanwhile, after almost four years, I was still being kept separate from one of the biggest parts of her life.

Whenever I brought up meeting her parents, there was always another reason to wait. Eventually she told me I needed to become “the man she wanted to marry” first. She wanted me to be a better leader, communicate better, listen more, and eventually be able to handle all of the finances.

The thing is, I never said I was perfect. I agreed that I could improve in those areas and was actively trying to. My perspective was that those are things couples continue working on throughout a relationship and even throughout a marriage. I didn’t think I had to become the perfect partner before being introduced to her family.

From my perspective, introducing me to her parents wasn’t the finish line—it was a milestone that showed we were building a future together. I was looking at the bigger picture while she seemed focused on issues that, in my opinion, could continue improving over time.

What made it especially difficult was that we had already built a life together. We signed leases together, shared a home for three years, split responsibilities, and planned a future. If I was trusted enough to live with her, why wasn’t I trusted enough to meet the people closest to her? It also bothered me that she continued lying to her parents about us living together for years, even though we were sharing a home every day.

We are currently breaking up. What surprised me the most is that she hasn’t seemed very emotional about it. She hasn’t really cried, or fought for the relationship. That almost hurts more than the breakup itself because it makes me question whether she valued the relationship the same way I did.

I know I’m not perfect. I made mistakes during the relationship, and I’m not trying to paint myself as the victim or say I did everything right. I’m genuinely trying to understand whether I placed too much importance on meeting her parents, or whether after almost four years together—and three years of living together—it was a reasonable expectation.

I can’t tell if I’m overreacting or not.

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 9 months. He has a lot of friends, and I’ve met pretty much all of the ones who live in our city, and even some who live elsewhere.

The one exception is a girl he used to have a thing with. I don’t actually know what happened between them, whether they casually dated, slept together, etc. I’ve never asked because it didn’t seem important at the time.

He sees her once a week because they go climbing together. I don’t climb, so I understand that’s one reason I haven’t met her. But they also text quite a bit, and he rarely brings her up. I can’t tell if that’s because he thinks it would be awkward or if I’m reading too much into it.

It just feels a little strange that I’ve met basically everyone else in his life except the one person he has romantic history with.

For context, he has quite a few female friends, and he’s even still friends with one of his exes, so it’s not like I have an issue with him having female friends in general. This is just the one situation that’s been making me wonder if it’s odd or if I’m creating a problem where there isn’t one.

AIO for feeling a bit uncomfortable about this, or is this something I shouldn’t really be worried about?

So I (20F) got sent a hypothetical question from my boyfriend (20M) asking if I would delete all social media for him. I said truthfully no, i feel as though its a controlling toxic thing to do or ask of someone you actually love. He got mad and said that i am a liar for saying”fake words” like “i love you so much i would do anything for you” because if I actually loved him then i would do it right away. I explained again that it is weird do want to have that type of control over someone who you claim to love, its shutting them out from the world in my opinion. Then he removed our highlight on instagram because I told him it was weird that was much of a problem to him for not wanting to respect my boundaries. Hes saying I would rather lose him then social media and to me that isn’t the point its the fact that he is letting streamers guide his way of how a relationship should be. I feel as though i am being punished for answering truthfully and realistically, i would do anything for him but within reason and if it is something that i wouldn’t ask of him, my boundaries are being disrespected. So aita for not wanting to hypothetically delete all of my social media for my boyfriend?

I work in a office with a very relaxed dress code. We can wear pretty much anything as long as it's work appropriate: closed-toe shoes, shorts no more than 4 inches above the knee, sleeveless tops with straps at least 3 inches wide, and no leggings unless your hips/butt are covered.

I'm pretty thrifty and have always had my own style being in an XL-1XL size 16/18. I wear oversized T-shirts with biker shorts, flowy skirts with graphic tees, and other outfits that all fit within the dress code. The facility also gives us company T-shirts and sweatshirts a few times a year and encourages us to wear them.

I never wear a tshirts exactly as they came as I personalize them to match my style. I always cut the neck of the shirt to have a modest "V" cut IYKYK and wore some oversized (I'll pick out a 3XL) and wear with biker shorts. I have cropped the sleeves on a work sweatshirt, reverse tie-dyed one with bleach, and tie-dyed another shirt because I didn't love the neon color. Recently, I cut a soft cotton sweatshirt into a cardigan so I cut it down the front middle because I ordered myself a 3XL. I was still wearing them in a work-appropriate way and never thought it would be an issue.

Eventually my supervisor told me I needed to stop "vandalizing" the company shirts. Fair enough. I immediately stopped wearing any altered company apparel and now just wear my own clothes that fully comply with the dress code.

The part that's bothering me is that the comments haven't stopped.

Now, when I clock in, multiple coworkers make comments about whatever I'm wearing. My appearance has somehow become a regular topic of conversation. My supervisor has also made sarcastic remarks to me, including saying, "Working here isn't a runway. It's a job."

The thing is, I'm not violating the dress code ?? never was?? and now I'm not wearing a company shirt at all, I still feel like I'm being singled out. It feels like people have gone from addressing a concern about altering company "attire" that is FREE and given to ME to criticizing my personal style in general??

For context, I cannot wear flashy accessories at work. We aren't allowed more than 2 rings, no bracelets, hats, long nails, nor dangling earrings. I wear short nails, usually nail stickers, a smartwatch, and we are allowed a single necklace. Compared to how I dress outside of work, I'm drastically toned down.

No dress code rules against hair dye (mine is natural and my supervisor's is forest green?? another has neon pink), tattoos allowed to be visible and no restrictions on facial piercings. I only have my ears pierced once. Some of these coworkers have 2-5 piercings in their nose. Some have nipples peirces and are noticeably braless, no issue.

At this point, it feels like people are waiting to comment on whatever I wear, even though I'm following the written dress code. I understand management asking me not to alter company shirts ...I guess... and I respected that immediately. What I don't understand is why my clothes continue to be a topic of discussion??

AIO for feeling like this has crossed the line from a dress code conversation into my coworkers and supervisor policing my individuality? When does this become a toxic work environment for HR to be involved? AIO?

P.S. I've thought about shifting to a self-made work uniform for myself to stop the comments of wearing black slacks, black shoes, and alternating some solid colored blouses with a few non-patterned cardigans.

This is going to be a long one. I hope someone reads this and it does not get ignored.

So I'm 17 years old legally. In reality I'm a year or so younger than 17 because my parents messed with my birth certificate by giving it to my relatives to change something they wanted. Now my date of birth, month and year are messed up for life, which is the least of my concern right now because things are going downhill fast.

You know how a kid who grows up without any love or hope might normalize their cold environment because they know nothing else. Seeing a sibling receive that love completely shatters that baseline. Basically that's what's been happening in my life from the beginning until now and it's only getting worse.

My sister, who is 5 years older than me, gets everything because she is better in studies while I am neglected in every way possible. It's not even neglect. Sometimes it's mental and physical abuse.

There has always been this comparison between me and my sister. While she gets everything she wants, I'm really underfed. I'm about 40 kg at my age and really thin.

My parents always celebrated my sister's birthday but stopped celebrating mine. They stopped celebrating my birthday when I was 9. Whenever my distant relatives call to wish me a happy birthday they make me lie. Whenever I get a little money from relatives for any occasion, whether it's my birthday or something else, I keep it in a box or somewhere safe and then it disappears. My father takes it because we are not doing well financially. At least that's the excuse. They would sell me if my sister needed something they couldn't afford.

I also don't go out at all. Literally never. I only go to school and stay at home all day. I don't go out because of how thin I am. I'm like a human twig with body hair like a bear. I always wear full shirts with my school uniform, but going out normally means I have to wear a half-sleeve T-shirt because it's always hot where I live. People make fun of me, even my friends. If I tell my mother I want to wear full sleeves and explain why, she beats me, shames me and forces me to wear what she wants.

The reason I'm so thin and underweight is because of the food they feed me. It's a plate of rice with a sprinkle of vegetables, only one kind, all day. We eat meat and eggs maybe once every three weeks, mostly because my mom is religious and thinks eating non-veg food is against God and unhealthy. She thinks eating the way we do is good for our health. No wonder our whole family and relatives have multiple health issues.

Another reason I don't go out is my body hair. I have leg hair like a literal bear. My friends tell me to trim it, but when I mention it to my parents my mother beats me, screams at me and shames me. She tells me to become a girl and strip myself. Because of that I get shamed from both sides. One side tells me to trim it because people will get scared, while my parents and relatives tell me not to because it would turn me into a girl.

The food situation wasn't always like this. When my sister was still here before she moved to university, my mother would make whatever she wanted. Whenever I mention my weight and how thin I am they blame it on me not drinking enough water. My relatives say the same thing. I'm worried about what this will do to my health in the long term. Meanwhile my sister is eating good food in her university hostel and every bit of money goes toward whatever she needs.

I really wanted to become a game developer when I grew up, so when I was 13 I started learning game development from YouTube. We didn't have a computer. We had a very old laptop which was mysteriously broken and blamed on me even though I did nothing.

So I started learning and making games on my phone using a game engine called Godot because it has a mobile version. Progress was slow as expected, but I was slowly coding my own 2D dream game on my phone, which became my only hope. Eventually my old phone couldn't handle it anymore because the project got bigger.

I begged my parents to fix the broken laptop. Only the screen was broken and it would have cost around 50 dollars at most, but they never fixed it. It ended up in the junk.

Then when I was 14 my sister was in college and needed a laptop for GIS. Somehow my parents bought her a 1000 dollar gaming laptop. That was when I realized how unfair my life was and made a promise to myself that I would leave this house and this country when I turned 18 if I became successful in game development or freelancing.

I was able to use her laptop to work on my game whenever she wasn't using it, but only for about 10 months because she moved to her dream university. The timeline might not be completely accurate because I'm trying to remember everything.

When I found out she was leaving I went into depression because I knew I would be back in the dark with nothing to do. Playing mobile games doesn't bring me joy. I wanted a better life where I could eat healthy so my legs wouldn't shake while walking downstairs and my hands wouldn't tremble when lifting something.

About a month before she left I started a Ko-fi for my dream game. I thought it would be another useless attempt but people actually helped me. I received around a thousand dollars in donations, which was unbelievable. For the first time I felt hope and happiness, but it didn't last long.

My parents called me an e-beggar, took the money and used it for my sister's university expenses. I was devastated again. They told me I needed to focus on my studies and that after my final examinations they would buy me a laptop.

After 10 months they finally bought me one. It was much cheaper than the 1000 dollar gaming laptop they bought for my sister, but they did buy me one.

It wasn't much use though. If you've ever coded before, you know that if you leave a project untouched for too long you'll forget how everything works. After 10 months my game's code was completely unreadable to me. I was heartbroken and couldn't continue it in any meaningful way. My dream was broken.

They don't see me as a human being who needs love and care. They see me as an investment or a retirement fund. I thought they were being kind by buying me a laptop with my own donated money, but I was wrong. They bought it hoping I would make even more money.

My mother asks me every day what happened to my game, whether I'm going to upload it and whether I'm still working on it. If I tell her the truth she would take my laptop away. They only bought me the laptop so they could squeeze more money out of me and spend it on my sister. Every day she guilt trips me by saying that because of my laptop they are now in debt.

I've started a YouTube channel now, but I don't think that's going to work either because I can't upload regularly. I don't have my own SIM card or a Wi-Fi plan. I use the internet from my mom's phone. She gets 1.5 GB every day and usually finishes it by morning.

I also can't use my laptop freely because my mother says that if relatives come over I have to hide it or they'll think we're rich.

The weather where I live is horrible. The heat and humidity make it feel like 50°C or more. All I do is sit under a fan while the heat drains me. We don't have an AC. Even at night it's still incredibly hot, which means I can't really use my laptop during the day. At night when it's finally possible, I don't have internet.

I'm writing all of this in my phone's notes app because I have nothing else to do without internet.

Studying isn't going to solve things either because I live in India and we have the caste system. Different groups like ST, SC and OBC get advantages in competitive exams, including additional marks and reservations. I'm in the general category, so everyone gets advantages over me. It's already incredibly competitive, and because of the caste system it's even harder for me. We aren't rich either. Most of the money has gone toward my sister, so I can't afford coaching or anything like that.

Because of all this I have to eat terrible food every day. I'm getting thinner and thinner, and guess who gets blamed for it. Me. Literally everyone blames me.

I can't just go work at McDonald's because that doesn't exist here and nobody is going to hire a teenager. There are already millions of unemployed adults ready to take those jobs. In India teenagers usually don't work. It's seen as shameful for the parents and mine would never allow it. Even if I did find a job, the pay would be almost nothing.

Here parents are expected to provide for their children until they finish studying and become whatever their parents want them to become. After that the parents retire from whatever terrible jobs they had and live off their children's income while continuing to control every part of their lives because they never gave them any freedom or privacy.

There is nothing I can do. I don't have anyone to talk to. My relatives are just like my parents. My friends probably won't stay friends if I tell them all this. Most people here would probably just say this is normal life.

I have no privacy as a teenager. I don't have my own room. Every door stays open. My mother knocks on the bathroom door every five minutes asking what I'm doing and why I'm taking so long.

So about a month ago my bf was showing me this assault rifle he has (not a regular pistol, it was big asf & idek why he has it). Genuinely i dont care about guns and wasnt even really paying attention. He was showing me something about the safety of the gun and kept repeating over and over there was no bullets in the gun whatsoever. He “cleared” the gun multiple times to prove this to me however something went wrong - i think that bc the “safety” was on, the last bullet in the chamber never actually cleared out. Mind you during this whole interaction, we’re sitting on the edge of the couch next to the TV and the dogs are walking around (the loves of my life and only thing i care about). So im watching him but also zoning out cus ONCE AGAIN idc about guns and am just “listening” to make him happy. Then when he decides to shoot the gun, after explaining how he cleared out the bullets and its fine, he pulls the trigger and goes off. Thankfully he was pointing the gun towards the floor. All i saw was a bright flash and my ears were ringing and muffled and throbbing. First instinct was to make sure my dogs were okay, when i saw they were okay i instantly ran towards the door and fell and just started screaming crying and cursing a lot. The bullet is in the ground and i guess there was some fragments cus there was some cuts/ tears in the walls and cabinets from 5-10 feet away. The TV instantly shattered and so did the tv stand which was a glass fireplace. Genuinely one of the most terrifying moments of my life and ive been thru some stuff lmfao. Ive been around guns my whole life and while they always made me uneasy, i was never scared. Now its completely different. Its been about a 1-2 months this happened and as much as i try to brush it away and not think about it, it comes up in my head and my heart races and i get sweaty. I start thinking about all the things that couldve gone wrong. I keep thinking about what couldve happened to my dogs. I feel so dumb and irritated that i keep having negative thoughts about something that didnt even end up hurting anyone. Like why am i thinking about what DIDNT happen? We are all safe now. But the thoughts keep coming and i try my best to push them away. Now heres where things get more interesting. I just did an escape room with my girlfriend about 2 days ago and in the 2nd room was an assault rifle to shoot these little metal things. Obviously i know the gun was not loaded or real but i couldnt stand to be in the room or even look at the gun. I was so nervous uncomfortable and sweaty.

The cherry on top is that he promised me he would immediately take a gun safety course and now that its been some time since the incident, he never did. It makes me want to break up with him. My fundamental feeling of safety is off the shits around him now.

So am i overreacting? Has this happened to anyone else ? What do i do. The only thing i can think of is therapy but guys i do so much therapy and im tired lmao. I havent brought this up to anyone except my close girlfriend and now you guys - so no i havent told therapist yet. I dont even want to go to his house bc its where he has guns and where it happened.

I 26F went on a date with a friend(24M) of my brother(24M), apparently he had told my brother he wanted to get to know me, and I gave him permission to share my number and then we went on a date.

I thought it was odd because my brother doesn't have many friends, and I don't really go on that many dates, but I decided to give it a chance because I usually only get asked out by men double my age.

Anyways, the date is kind of normal at the beginning, we are talking about music, anime, memes, etc, and then I asked what he liked about me.

He responded "To be honest, nothing much, but prettier girls are too much drama, so I was trying this thing I saw called shrekking / shreking."

When I asked him to clarify he said that I wasn't normally his type. At this point I'm a bit shocked, but decided to give a chance to someone who appeared to want to date without superficial reasons.

I was a bit on edge, but the date continued normally for a while, until he said. "I bet you're glad for this trend, How does it feel to be on a date with someone so handsome?" I laughed thinking he was joking, but he kept pressing me to answer, so I just got up and left.

I (23F) broke up with my ex (24M) of 4 years. I had lied to him about my relationship history, he broke up with me but let me come back, I didn’t go back.

I am a survivor of CSA from a much older male family relative. From ages 13-17, I got into long-term online relationships with guys ages between 23-29 y/o. [3 total] It was all online and my ex was my first IRL relationship. But after finding myself depressed, dynamic of the relationship being isolating bc I couldn’t talk with him about it & he was trying to isolate me from friends/family… I needed therapy and freedom to rediscover myself after years of suppressing myself in favor of being accepted & loved. Had the mindset of: “Anything he said-goes, anything he wants-I do, I changed for him even if its stuff I was uncomfortable or disagreed w/ bc I lied about myself and wanted to leave that life all behind.”

I told him everything, he broke up with me, called me “used goods”, said I’m playing victim and needed to fix the relationship, and that I looked and sounded stupid for not knowing who I was anymore. I feel awful bc I took 4 years of his life from him, and going into this, he wanted this one relationship and that’s it, we were each other’s first (even for me still). My parents told me that telling him was a mistake, “keep the past in the past” since he wanted to marry me. But with the prospect of going to therapy, regaining control of my life… he didn’t respect me at all. Just insulted me, wasn’t there when I needed just his support as a friend, joked that he could now go out and talk to women now bc we weren’t in a relationship, and distastefully asked for sex in the same discussion as me saying I almost committed.

I erased myself in favor of him choosing me. And he didn’t truly accept me when I opened up and wanted room to grow, so I left. I was open to us just staying friends, but he just completely ghosted me from his life after he ended our last talk over text. And he did this knowing full well that I left my friends for him, that he was trying to isolate me from my family for years, that he made himself and his connections the only people I knew in my life, and disappeared.

context: Because I am the only one in my house that does the dishes, I have a system on how I clean them. everything plastic, mugs, cups, and silerware goes into the dishwasher. Everything else, such as knives, wooden materials, pots, pans, blenders and the air fryer, I handwash. Other people have told me I take too long when washing, but in my opinion, I’d rather take my time getting the dishes actually clean instead of half-assing it.

(extra context: we had people over and we cooked so there were double the dishes that practically took over the counter)

I had just finishing scrubbing the dishes so I placed all the soapy dishes onto the tub of the sink so I could rinse and then dry them. My sister comes in to the kitchen and grabs a pancake from the fridge. she then folds the pancake like a taco and starts spreading syrup into it, which led to the syrup dripping onto the floor (my mom HATES when things get spilled so I knew we were going to be in some deep shit). immediately I point it out to my sister and she starts freaking out. She went straight to the sink and let the syrup drip all over the dishes that I had JUST finished cleaning. I got so angry that I just started yelling at her. My mom overheard and she came in. I thought she was going to freak out over the spill but she ignored it and went straight to me. She then started yelling at me about how Im overreacting over something that I can simply wash again. When I tried to explain the situation, she told me she is not getting involved and that the only reason she came in is because my yelling interrupted her me time. In the end, I went to my room instead of finishing the dishes.

I do feel bad about yelling at my sister and interrupting my mom’s personal time but I didn’t know how to handle my emotions at the moment.

Was I overreacting?

(Sorry in advance if this is a bit vague but I feel like the details of how student committees work in my country are probably not relevant.)

I wanted to do something useful at uni besides studying, so I became part of my university's student commitee. A few weeks after I had joined, there was a vote held for a rather important position in the committee which I was interested in. I ended up winning the vote. I was having a bit of a rough time after a very bad breakup and was actively trying to focus on other things during that time. Being voted into said position was a huge boost for my self-esteem, it really made me feel good that people seemed to like me and trust me to do this job responsibly. I really put a lot of effort into doing good job and I enjoyed doing it.

After seven​ months or so I was hanging out with a past member of the group who still had access to the chat group where the discussion about the vote had happened. Something in our conversation inspired me to ask how exactly the vote had gone down and whether there had been people who were unhappy with me winning. He then proceeded to look up the conversation around the vote and read all the messages to me.

Through these messages I learned that while a few people commented positively on me, there were three people who were very against me, calling me aloof and arrogant and that I was taking myself very seriously and was very full of myself. There were also multiple people who after the voting complained that it had been so short notice and they hadn't had time to think about it or missed the voting period, calling the vote "unfair". Apparently of the other three candidates one was disliked more than me, one was liked but not deemed responsible, and I forgot about the last.

Him reading all that to me felt very humiliating and awkward and I don't get why he even did it. But I also didn't stop him so whatever.

Afterwards I claimed I was sick and then resigned from the position. I disassociated from this group entirely and actively avoided going where they usually met up. I deleted everything I had worked on, dropped all plans and connections I'd had. I tried to completely delete this thing from my life.

It's been 1.5 years since then and I still feel the impact it had on me. It took away a large part of my self-esteem and left me insecure and vulnerable. This incident showed me that my self-perception was wrong. I thought I was a moderately confident person who was likeable enough, I thought people liked my motivation and drive. They didn't. They thought I was an annoying self-centered prick who thought he was amazing.

Since then I've found it very hard to let people in. I keep everyone at a distance, I don't share my opinions, I never talk about anything personal anymore. I'm trying to be calm and polite and otherwise I just shut the fuck up.

It's insane how much of an impact this incident had on me.

DIO by resigning and then completely changing my personality as a consequence?

I had a best friend for more than ten years. Several years ago, she was looking for a new job and applied for a position at the company where my husband worked. He would be above her in the chain of command, so we discussed the possible awkwardness before she accepted the job.

At first, she seemed concerned about appearances. She removed my husband from social media and hid some photos of us because she didn’t want coworkers thinking she had gotten the position because of our friendship.

Not long after she started working there, however, she became distant from me. She stopped responding to my texts, declined or ignored invitations, and generally seemed uninterested in maintaining the friendship.

Things finally came to a head at a social gathering. She made several jokes at my expense in front of other people, including comments about my appearance. Someone else called her out, and she stopped, but I was embarrassed and uncomfortable.

A few weeks later, she messaged me saying she felt like things had become weird between us. I told her I thought she might be going through something and that I had noticed her pulling away. She responded by joking that she had a habit of cutting people out of her life.

I didn’t know how to respond, so I didn’t.

After that, she briefly started acting as though everything was normal again and invited me to an event. I chose not to attend because I was worried I would either be ignored or mocked again. When I later reached out to her during a difficult time in her life, she responded angrily and accused me of being a bad friend because I hadn’t attended the event.

At that point, I decided to stop participating in the friendship. We have not spoken in several years.

She has continued working with my husband throughout this time. I trusted him and did not ask him to treat her differently because of our personal falling-out. Occasionally, he would mention normal work frustrations involving her, but I generally stayed out of it.

Over time, however, I noticed that she would text him outside of working hours. Some messages were work-related, while others were more personal, such as warning him about traffic, wishing him a happy Boss’s Day, or sending messages that could have waited until the next workday.

My husband said that several employees communicate with him this way, so I tried not to make an issue of it.

Then he told me about an argument they had at work. He had corrected her on a mistake, and she became very emotional because he had spoken to her firmly. According to him, she repeatedly told him that they had worked together for years and that he had never spoken to her that way before.

My husband even commented that her reaction made him feel as though she were upset with him like a spouse or partner would be, rather than an employee speaking to a supervisor. He apologized for his tone but maintained that the correction itself was appropriate.

Later, my husband was promoted and began hiring someone to help manage part of the team. My former friend expressed interest in the role but was told she was not ready for it. She then became extremely upset when she learned that another woman was being considered.

She repeatedly spoke negatively about this candidate and strongly discouraged my husband from hiring her. My husband told her to remain professional and ultimately hired the candidate.

After the new employee started, my former friend became cold and resistant toward both her and my husband. From what I understand, she has had difficulty accepting the new reporting structure and has created tension at work.

Around that time, my husband and I were together celebrating his birthday when I noticed she had sent him a personal happy birthday text.

I realize that, by itself, a birthday message is not scandalous. However, it bothered me because she had ended our friendship, ignored my attempts to repair it, and had not spoken to me in years, yet she still felt comfortable maintaining a personal connection with my husband.

Taken individually, the messages might be harmless. Together with her emotional reaction when he corrected her, her possessiveness about his hiring decision, and her habit of contacting him outside of work, I started to wonder whether she had developed some kind of emotional attachment to him.

I am not necessarily saying it is romantic. It could be admiration, dependence, entitlement, or simply blurred workplace boundaries. My husband says it is nothing and that she is just dramatic. He has never given me a reason to believe he is encouraging her, and I do trust him.

My main concern is her behavior and whether I am interpreting the pattern unfairly because of our past friendship.

Am I overreacting for feeling that the birthday text and the other messages crossed a boundary? Or does it seem like she views her relationship with my husband as more personal than a normal employee-supervisor relationship?

I got married last April to an amazing man and I’ve always gotten along great with his family. They have been so generous and kind to me so far. During the beginnings of me developing a serious mental illness, they took care of my while my then-fiancé was living and working in another state. They had me over for dinner every single night when I couldn’t cook for myself.

My husband doesn’t have parents so his aunts and grandma raised him and his siblings.

One of the aunts is married to a bad guy. He’s a trucker so we don’t have to put up with him a lot. He’s a man child and always throws a fit when he doesn’t get his way.

Last winter, I was over for dinner and he came home and he was mad because he wanted to cut his elderly dog’s toenails immediately after dinner and nobody wanted to help him for different reasons (the teenager didn’t want to get bit, the aunt was wearing her work clothes and wanted to go change first, etc.) Well the man child got mad and stormed out. When nobody followed him, he stormed back in, grabbed the dog, and said he’d cut his toenails his damn self. Nobody reacted so he said “If he nips at me, I’ll hurt him” and both aunts chimed in with “no the hell you won’t.” The dog is going to nip. He’s a 15 year old beagle who has bad arthritis. The dog nipped so the man child grabbed the dogs head and neck and squeezed it until the dog started screaming in pain. We all jumped on him and separated him from the dog. He stormed out.

I didn’t see him for months after that, but apparently he called the aunts and said WE should apologize to HIM for interfering with him cutting the dogs toenails. I said he’d needs to apologize to the dog.

He stayed gone for months as he does when he’s pouting and I made a decision, with my husbands support as well, that I didn’t want this man in my life anymore. I wasn’t going to see him again.

Everything was fine until the morning of my birthday. My husbands family always cooks a special birthday dinner for whoever’s birthday it is. Well I visited them on mine and the man child was there. I left immediately and let them know I’d be able to come to my birthday dinner a little late, after the man child leaves for the night. He had shown up unannounced so we couldn’t have prepared for it. My husbands aunt said she’d rather postpone my dinner and I agreed that would be fine.

The next weekend is my husbands aunts birthday (not the aunt married to the man child, but the other one who is unmarried). She texted me that the man child was back and her birthday was now ruined since me and my husband wouldn’t be coming over. I apologized to her, offered to cook her a special meal at my house, and offered to see her after the man child leaves, but she was unhappy. She said I’m being unreasonable and that in a family, we have to overlook things sometimes because that’s what families do. She said I have major double standards because I’ve forgiven people in my own family who have done bad things (I threatened to kick my sister out of my house for hitting my dog- BUT she stopped the behavior so I let her continue living with me under the rule she can only see my dog supervised. I didn’t want her to be homeless). The aunt said it’s unfair for me to forgive my family and not theirs. I told her I just want him to apologize to the dog and take accountability and we could move forward, but he will never do that because that’s not who he is.

The aunt brought up a lot of other stories of things that my family has done to me in my past- things I told her in confidence that hurt me deeply- and used it as ammunition to support her argument that I forgive my family in bad times.

Meanwhile everyone dislikes the man child and they only tolerate him because they love his wife (who is their sister, daughter, etc.). I reiterated that I’ve had to make tough choices with my own family but that I’m allowed to have a boundary with this man if I want to.

We argued over text for a couple days but things settled when he finally left and we went over to celebrate her birthday on a different night.

They decided not to have my postponed birthday dinner and chose not to celebrate me at all which is fine but it hurt. They act friendly/cordial now but it’s in an awkward way where I can tell they’re mad under the surface, but they don’t want to talk about it anymore. They’re very two faced with people and I feel like they’re only tolerating now because they don’t want to cause a rift with my husband. My husband is on my side about things and doesn’t want me to be around the man child anymore nor does he want our future kids around him either.

I’m not sure how to proceed. Am I overreacting for cutting this man out of my life? Is it really that big of a deal to the rest of the family? They’ve repeatedly told me they hate him too but “he’s family.” Meanwhile they have a sister they don’t even speak to nor ever see because she’s also a bad person. But isn’t she family too technically? It’s not a standard they apply to everyone. I have no idea what to do.

Edit: He attempted to date her BEFORE he started dating me to clarify.

My boyfriend (35m) and I (28f) have been dating for 7 months. We used to work together and thankfully now we don't.

He told me that this friend that we work with "randomly accused" him of coming onto her and made it seem like she was crazy for him because he was doing all these nice things for her like tutoring her daughter, training her dog and driving them around when needed. He said he had no intention whatsoever of dating her. He claims to hate her because she flipped and accused him of being inappropriate since she had a fiance. He told not only me this but several other colleagues and I believed him...

My work friend, Sara, told me yesterday that he told Sara two years ago that he liked this woman and was trying to pursue her, but was having trouble making a move.... So he was literally trying to fuck her and flipped it to make a bunch of people think she was crazy about him...

Basically what actually happened was she told him to back off because she has a fiance and he was doing too much for her and he ended up sending her this song about being damaged and liking attention so she reported him to the manager.

I feel like this is worse than cheating but I can't tell if I'm blowing it out of proportion?

TL;DR: My boyfriend lied about trying to date a woman we work with and hates her for rejecting him. It feels like a lie as big as cheating. AIO?