My wife is one of those weirdos that can casually keep junk food around the house without devouring it all in one sitting. She gets mad at me for eating it all, but in my defense, when I actually muster up the willpower to let it sit there for several days, by the time I do give in and eat it the food has gone stale and then it's a lose-lose proposition for everyone.
Half of my family is like this and half are piglets. It's annoying when l finally want something and it's gone in two days. I have taken to hiding things.
You know what's mildly infuriating? Adult kids taking up space in the fridge or the cabinets for weeks with half eaten food they never finish, until it eventually starts to decompose on it's own.
One time my roommate bought like 2 gallons of apple cider and nobody touched it for a couple weeks so I started drinking it. I was "Oh, if he's upset, I'll just get a couple more from the store." He was upset, because they were from an apple orchard a couple towns away... Shit.
People on reddit must live in an alternate reality where communication is impossible.
"Hey, this is gonna go bad soon, I'm going to eat it if you don't". Which is 50/50 "ok just eat it" or "no please save that". "Ok, if it's still there tomorrow night I'm gonna eat it", or similar.
I give my spouse one time, and the next time it's "okay, I'm eating this now". No fuss. They get a chance to remember it's there, be warned it's nearing it's life, and aren't surprised when it's gone soon.
The communication does happen but often the food still goes bad. Sometimes you are just busy with the kids and that conversation has happened and it’s 50/50 whether they tell you to eat it or save it but 90% of the time, it goes bad. So you eat it and then get shit on about it some of the time. That is what is happening in these scenarios.
I'm that wife. My husband has ADHD big time and brings home bags and bags of weird ass chips, opens them, and leaves them to die. Leftovers go in the fridge to die. Drinks get opened and left out on the tables or counters to die. If he hasn't touched leftovers, chips, or snacks in three days: they're fair game. I've thrown away WAY too many foods to play the "I was thinking about eating that tomorrow" game with him.
I have the ADHDs. If someone eats my leftovers…I would honestly never know. I might notice something had moved or is different and may even be a little suspicious about things, but in the end, would not know.
Unless it’s leftovers from a restaurant. In that case, having ADHD, and having already made it through the gauntlet of remembering to grab the bag off of the table on the way out, remembering to bring it in from the car when we got home, and then remembering to put it in the fridge, it’s probably tasty enough that I would know it was missing.
My husband is a fast eater. If he likes something he wants it in his belly as quickly as possible.
I used to be the same way, probably because I grew up poor, then I realized chasing that dragon was no way to eat. Now I actually take the time to enjoy things because that's the whole point of being here.
I also grew up poor and feel like I was trained to do the exact opposite. I savor things for as long as possible.
My spouse got me a bag of kit kats from Japan and it took me about six months to go through the them all. By the end he was begging me to eat them even though they were individually wrapped (so no risk of spoiling) and not in the way. I think it just stressed him out that I wasn't eating them as fast as he would?
This was my childhood as well. Lower/average middle class with frugal parents. We vacationed a lot but we camped at National Parks and KOAs in our pop up camper and we did lots of free/low cost stuff but it was awesome!
I would stretch my Halloween candy until Easter and Easter until summer when I can buy my own with chores, cutting grass, etc.
I always thought speaking up would work but my dad still would eat your stuff 95% of the time. It got to a point where if you didn’t put actual notes on your food, it would be gone.
I accidentally did that with my best mates bottle of wine. He said to grab one from the shed, and his hell expensive limited edition bottle was sitting with the other cheap bottles(he knew where it was but no-one else did(he was the only wine drinker living there)). So I popped that one.
He was not happy at all. Apparently it tasted horrible
Wine makers have spoken to have said that wine is best enjoyed the year it's bottled. That is the way they intend for it to taste. Letting the wine ferment further for decades in the bottle is just killing the original flavour of when it was bottled. People who spend thousands on old bottles of wine are just wasting their money.
They are investing. As long as there are people willing to pay exorbitant amounts of money for old wine, they are not wasting their money. Unless they are the ones enjoying the thrill, in which case they are not wasting their money either.
You can't deny there's something thrilling about opening a bottle that has been sealed for 50 yrs, even if the wine itself tastes horrible.
Depends on your specific region but midwest US gets these most summers. The "limited edition" shit for stuff like oreos is generally seasonal products. Like limited edition easter cookies that come out every year.
I only have my sister and a buddy to send dead dad stuff too, my brother decided he wanted to go hang out with pops so i took him off the messaging list.
Edit: resubmitting because the Automod didn’t like me linking a sub that doesn’t exist yet
Ahh, perhaps we should start a group then. There are a few subreddits for children of dead parents but none of them appear to be humour-centric. r slash DeadDadJokes perhaps?
Here’s what the sons of James Gandolfini and Phillip Seymore Hoffman have to say about it btw. 😂
So when I first met my husband, he told me everyone says he has his dad’s eyes, and asked if I wanted to see a pic. Then the motherfucker showed me a pic of an urn. It is his favorite joke lmfao
As someone with a living father, thankfully, I also read it as a dead dad joke. Too many of my friends were fatherless due to weird accidents and the jokes were quick and instant anytime they could work one in lmao.
I was about to say that no son of mine would have a hidden profile, but then I noticed that your background is a pic of Carl Brutananadilewski from Aqua Teen sitting shirtless at a desktop computer in a dark room.
So there’s really no telling the depths of depravity you’re concealing under there.
Theyre still at Kroger if you wanna go get more. I feel your pain a bit. Im a slow eater. My ex would just eat my stuff because i was "eating it too slow" as well. Like.. its my food that I bought, none of you get to decide its yours now. It's too easy to ask someone "Hey do you want these?".
Id just try to have a conversation with him and ask if he can just ask you first. I've also found that just sharing a bit of what I have helps keep the vultures at bay. Im lucky atm to have a wonderful partner who doesn't just take my things. I still have food triggers unfortunately.
dude last place i was staying at almost lost my shit. literally stopped buying groceries bc i felt like i hardly got to eat any of my OWN FUCKING FOOD. begrudgingly bought a few things and extra so they would have their own and not touch mine (eggs/avocodos/chips) and cos takeout everyday is just ridiculous. everyone was hungry the next day, i offered to make egg fried rice. im thinking i only used 4 YESTERDAY, 2 for me 2 for my friend, there should be plenty of eggs. she’s giving me a look, im like dude no there’s no way, how many did you eat? all she does is hold up one finger this whole time i’m like “so how many? you ate one? wth? so there’s 7 left? hello wth?”
bitch there was one egg left. i had to walk tf away.
I think that if this happened to me, for the next package I would pretend to eat the last row, sneak the Oreos into a ziplock bag and keep the bag in my bedroom drawer
Literally what I had to start doing with my snacks and I'm not kidding.
I felt bad at first but then I realized I'm buying these with my own money because he doesn't like snack/junk food and then somehow he's eating my snack food....
i do that also but for PERISHABLE food and only if no one has grabbed it after >4-5 days I just nom on it at that point.
as for non perishables I eat like one or two a day max if there is more than ~8-10 of xyz left if its bigger than 0.8-1 grams if there is enough to where someone can notice the difference (like 3-6 left) I don’t eat
My Dad has done the same as OP's. (Was 15. Friend made me cookies for Christmas...Dad went into MY bedroom, while I was gone and ate them)
Can confirm Dad Tax is a thing.
What is it with the act of assuming nowadays? Why is it so much more common now? Is ASKING too damn hard to do now? Did I miss something? What's going on?
Not ever being able to eat at my own pace because my family would finish off my portion or things I bought for myself actually kinda fucked up my relationship with food. It led to me hiding and hoarding food and gorging myself.
I'm not a big fan of parents who don't have basic self-restraint and try to make it cute by calling it "dad tax".
Why do people not seem to understand that sometimes you want to savor something over time instead of scarfing things down jut because you like them haha
Growing up my parents were weird with snacks. If we ate it too slow they assumed we didn't want it so didn't get it again. If we ate it too quickly they got irritated it was gone so quickly... So they didn't get it again.
I have an eating disorder because of something similar. My parents would make food when I was a child and frequently force me to eat everything on my plate. There were frequently leftovers and i would get ridiculed because "no one was eating the leftovers." If I ate the leftovers it would change to, "why are you eating all the leftovers, i never get any!" So i had this ordeal of constantly trying to keep leftovers really low but also not eat all of them. Couple it with getting massive portions and needing to finish everything... it's not good times.
I always love it when somebody thinks that you don't like something because you eat it slowly so that you have a little bit everyday for a long time. I love having sex different flavors of ice cream in my freezer. I don't have to eat a half gallon in one sitting.
My husband is like this. He brought home a four pack of deluxe brownies, ate two of them the same night, a third the next morning and asked if he could have the last one bc I “didn’t seem interested in them” bc I still hadn’t eaten mine. We hadn’t even had the brownies a full 12 hours yet
My dad does this constantly. Doesn’t matter if you buy something for yourself or the household, doesn’t matter how much there is, doesn’t matter whether you’ve had any. If he sees a food or drink he wants, the entire thing is going in his pie hole with zero consideration for anyone else. I and my mom have both had countless fights about it with him over the past 20+ years. I have a mini fridge and keep anything I get for myself in my bedroom now
My dad did this to me all the time when we shared an apartment. He'd say "I didn't think you wanted it cause you didn't eat it yet" and it's like dude - just cause I don't eat my chocolate bar the second I buy the damn thing, doesn't mean I don't want it.
My family would do this when I was young. I grew up really poor (in the US, but routinely we'd be without electricity, car, or phone service) and anytime we'd get groceries, everybody else would immediately chew through their share of the food. Then, because I'd try to make my bit last, they'd take mine. I love most of my family, but it always made me feel so frustrated and powerless to know that I wasn't allowed to enjoy anything at my own pace.
This is why my kids hide food from their father and he hides it from them. People like that have zero respect for boundaries nor clarity on the matter before proceeding forward with their actions. You’ve learned a valuable lesson about your father today.
My dad would get drunk and eat everyone’s food when I lived at home and they would always always blame me. My two sisters and my mother would berate me for “stealing food” when my dad who did it was right there silent. It was extra unreal because they’re all severely overweight like diabetic. Meanwhile I’m…not?
My mom ate my 2nd half of my subway sandwich because she thought I wasn't eating it and didn't want it to go bad. I told her I was saving it. She said she ate it FOR me and that it wasn't even good.
My husbands mate did something similar when they lived together. He and his girlfriend drank a bottle of banana rum my husband was gifted from Jamaica because he was "taking too long to drink it"
Never mind the fact it was irreplaceable due to only being available in Jamaica.
One time my father ate my corner cake slice of the birthday cake I bought for myself because I hadn't eaten it yet. I was just saving it. I'm over it now considering it's been years, but I get it!!
Whyyyyy do people do this? My dad would do this shit and it drove me crazy. I don’t eat treats super fast. But he’d just assume that meant he could eat them and it was rude as hell every time
Plenty people seem to think it's just funny judging by the comments. I'm with you though, I think it's a lack of respect for other people's belongings. Only people I know it from all are just generally disrespectful and rude, so my view of those who happily proclaim in comments they also take the food of others is accordingly bad tbh...
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u/ButtSnarfer 13h ago
How slow we talking here?