r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/isarodasti Trader Joe Hoe • 8h ago
Trigger Warning ⚠️ Had to ghost my bf
Chili oil marinated alaskan halibut, homemade spicy rice street corn tomato broth soup with mozzarella and a soft boiled egg.
⚠️ TW for abuse
Recently went long distance with my bf of over a year. He had horrible anger issues and was emotionally/verbally abusive (cursed me out, often said I was a horrible person/the worst person he knows, punches walls, hit my car window, hit the steering wheel when screaming at me when going 80, you get it) but went through a period of genuine (?) change and I ,stupidly, stayed with him. He takes shrooms sometimes, and while I don’t care about it, I hate talking to him when he’s tripping cause he gets kinda mean and really really needy for hoursss. Earlier today he started sending me paragraphs of shroom rants, and when I told him I didn’t want to talk until he sobered up a little (in a very kind way, told him to find other people to reach out to, I love him, he’ll be okay, etc) he responded with “you’re the worst” “im gonna kms.”
Yeahhh, blocked on everything, that’s so pathetic honestly. Telling you because no one else knows right now. Very relived, he really made me hate myself, but still heartbroken because that’s my best friend and why couldn’t he just be better :(
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u/Faithfuldoglover APPROVED✨ 7h ago
I’m so glad you were smart enough and strong enough to cut him loose. You’ll be much happier and healthier without him.
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u/PandaSad7073 Kitchen Witch 7h ago
Ooh poor thing. Im so sorry. My ex is an alcoholic. When sober he is the best human being alive, but when drunk he becomes this evil cruel spirit.
Tried changing him, tried supporting. It doesn’t work when they don’t want to become better themselves.
You just gonna end up heartbroken and humiliated again and again and again. They suck the life out of you and make it hard to even get mad cause ‘hey I was drunk/high, I didnt mean that’.
Just leave.
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u/isarodasti Trader Joe Hoe 7h ago
Exactly, when he’s sober he’s the sweetest most understanding funny person I know, but if he’s drunk or on psychedelics he becomes this horrible person who lashes out over everything. I can’t ever get back with him, but I hope this is some sort of wake up call to him that he needs to sober up or work on his mental health more.
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u/PandaSad7073 Kitchen Witch 7h ago
Yeah and it reaches to a point where their words and actions hurt you so deeply, that it even changes your feelings towards them.
Like even knowing they arent doing it consciously, its still super disgusting to me that a person still chooses to become drunk and high while knowing how much damage they cause to their loved ones.
Like there is a sense of selfishness that absolutely disgusts me. I know addiction isnt easy to overcome and most aren’t doing it on purpose, but if there is 0 effort being made to at least TRY to change.. then honestly u just a selfish piece of shit.
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u/ChocolateDream24 Body By Cheese 🧀 7h ago
You say he's your best friend, and I promise you, he's not. He's just the dude that took up most of your time.
Now that you're free, learn to be your own best friend. Seek people and experiences that fill you with joy. Become your own best friend. Did you know that you can buy yourself cake and flowers, and no one will stop you?! Dress up and take yourself on a date! You will find a new best friend in the mirror. Promise.
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u/shugofrog 🥝 Herbivore 🫒 7h ago
Good for you. I just worry since you are ghosting him, is he impulsive at all? Bc I don’t want him showing up at your doorstep demanding answers. Be safe girl
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u/isarodasti Trader Joe Hoe 7h ago
Oh when I say long distance I mean 2000 miles and a country away lol, I’ll be okay. Tysm though 💗💗
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u/Constant_Cultural Carb-Based Life Form 2m ago
That's great, but still let the people in your life know for the worst case scenario
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u/AsianPetal PO🥔TAY🥔TOES 7h ago
You didn't ghost him because he sent weird messages while tripping - you blocked him after he responded to a reasonable boundary with insults and a suicide threat. Those are two very different things love
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u/Majesticlionz1 Overthinker 💭 7h ago
This is the kind of guy who gets you killed—80 mph, screaming, hitting steering wheel? I’m going to venture to say this is more trauma bond than love. You did the right thing.
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u/ravens_path LET ME EAT CAKE 🍰 7h ago
If all of us are honest dear, we been there done that at some level or another. And stayed too long. Get a really good therapist and a good therapy group. Only be with ppl who support you leaving this all behind and support you being healthy. Distract from your agitation with new interests and good work and caring for yourself. Treat yoirselfnhowbtou would like to see other treat you. So the same for others. Blessing ✨✨on you in this difficult but important journey. And I can tell by the way you honestly describe the situation and yourself, that you will be able to do this. You already have great insights.
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u/LlamaMama56 APPROVED✨ 7h ago
You can now heal and find yourself again. It hurts a good while l won't lie but it does get better. I asked myself many times why couldn't he just be kind to me like l saw him being kind to others around us.
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u/AliceTawhai Overthinker 💭 6h ago
Been there done that. Do NOT be tempted to ever reply to him when he pops back up. It’s the only way through. If he loved you the way you deserve to be loved he never would have done anything to hurt you
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u/Good_Analysis3299 Sauce Boss 4h ago
How is it possible someone can be this mean and abusive on SHOOMS?! 😩😭 I’m so sorry you’re going through this!! You absolutely did the best thing 🥺
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7h ago
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u/Abject_Spray_7088 🪿 feeding the soft animal of my body 6h ago
I’m so proud of you for walking away from this toxic POS. 🫂
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6h ago
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u/madame-maitre-d Overthinker 💭 6h ago
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u/Strong_District_5894 Dip Diva 4h ago
It always hurts when a shit human being’s mask finally slips. I’m sorry.
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u/blondeheartedgoddess Kitchen Witch 3h ago
I'm sorry you're hurting, sis but you should know that it's okay to be sad about making the right decision.
Sending you hugs from an internet stranger.
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59m ago
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u/madame-maitre-d Overthinker 💭 59m ago
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u/Constant_Cultural Carb-Based Life Form 3m ago
You are not ghosting, you are saving yourself from pain. And people who really end it, don't make a show out of it, lost a friend to it.
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u/Emergency-Ad-5211 Urban Hunter Gatherer 2h ago
The sad part is he probably will come around, and he will be groveling and behaving so much better, and you probably will take him back…and so the cycle will continue…
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u/_lostinthecosmos_ Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ 8h ago
I’m sorry girlie some people just need to hit rock bottom to actually change. And sometimes they don’t. You deserve better, and I know you’ll find peace soon!