6 years down the drain

[u/SummerSufficient7657]

Edit: wow, wasn’t expecting this to blow up so much but wanna thank you all for the kind words, silliness and advice. 💛 will keep updating as a way to hold myself accountable! fingers crossed, I’ll be posting a happy girl dinner before we know it.

He got a new job, started having car issues so he’s been ubering to work. Started making friends I assumed and was able to get rides home. He told me his friends were kind enough to lend him their cars for lunch breaks.

He used to call me everyday for breaks but then stopped suddenly? I thought nothing of it bc I assumed he got busier since he’d been working there longer and become more acquainted with others.

So then two days before my bday last Monday, he asks if I’d wanna go to the beach with a female coworker of his. I decline bc I wanted to spend the weekend alone given it was about to be my birthday. Still not clocking.

So last night I gave in and checked his phone. First, her contact name and photo are deceiving. It’s of an old lady named sandy but in the texts he calls her Jasmin, and she’s 34. Secondly they get lunch together and chill in the car on break. He’s never mentioned any of this to me. He’s been telling me an older lady lends him her car bc she chill. So this is the friend, who he texted “chill before I come fuck you” “you know I love you” “she’s not even my girlfriend I explained that to you already” “I miss you” And in the texts they were discussing the beach… so he was gonna bring her to the beach with me two days before my birthday to play in my face if I would’ve said yes.

I feel sad, angry, disgusted and just wanna pour into myself.
This isn’t where I should be investing my time and energy. 6 years down the drain.

I need to figure out the storage unit that’s in my name that has majority of his shit in it, with a past due bill (which confuses me bc I gave him the money to pay it, probably bc he’s getting sushi with sandy during lunch. I wanna pay it off bc the money isn’t worth my peace at the point, get my stuff then tell him the move out date. Then I’m leaving.

I didn’t tell him what I found but he asked if I had gone through his phone and I denied bc if I explain, he’s gonna try to manipulate it or me someway. I’d rather play it cool, collect my things and be out when he’s at work one day.

Whole box of cookies and an orange for balance.

UPDATE:

I suppose the universe was pleased that I came up with a plan to leave and decided to help me out. Today he paid the storage unit and is moving his things (WITHOUT me saying a word to him, he has been planning to get a space but it’s like the perfect timing) so gonna let him get his shit, get mine, close storage account. Then be out. So glad I don’t have to spend the extra money. Probably the only positive in this situation.

And he has been trying so hard to be more affectionate and stuff now. He must sense my feelings even though I’m playing it cool. He’s asking me to “be all over him and baby him bc he misses my attention and love” and I’m just feeding his ego while mentally I’m done and have already left. All that’s next is the physical. Seems daunting but I hope I have the courage to do what’s best for me.

[u/trendingtattler]

WHEEEWW girl 😮‍💨 buckle up! Your post made it to /r/all, /r/popular!

Congratudolences! 😅 If the rate of notifications starts getting to you, no need to delete your post! Instructions in Sanity Saver #5 can help you mute them. For the rest of y'all...

Welcome to r/GirlDinnerDiaries!

We love when new girlies stumble in! But a few unique things about how we roll here:

➽ You're now entering the Girl Zone 🚨 Guys' guidance summarized: stick to GIFs or emojis, or otherwise be patient for mods' manual comment reviews. Don't embarrass your mama. 🤨

➽ Approved users only! Newbies will be prompted to take 10 lil seconds to get approved. Nbd.

➽ BE KIND, BE THOUGHTFUL or BEGONE. Our communication standards are higher than just "don't be mean." Check em out here.

➽ Queer friendly. The end.

➽ ED-recovery friendly. No food critiques, body shaming, diet advice, or calorie counting kinda talk. Call your almondmom for that.

ModMail is open & active. MWUAH! 😙🫴💋

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/GreenEyedGloom]

I’m so unbelievably sorry and cannot imagine what you’re going through. The whole beach scheme is so disrespectful. I’m fucking proud of you for making plans to move on from this bullshit.

Also, It’s not six years of nothing. You learned a lot during that relationship and what you want and don’t want in your next, more meaningful relationship.

[u/Expensive_Recipe_433 → u/GreenEyedGloom]

The beach scheme is a whole nother layer like.. you getting off on this, fool, or what?

[u/wasraelx → u/Expensive_Recipe_433]

So disgusting, the fact he had a whole fake contact info made too. Just knew exactly what he was doing. I hope OP wipes the floor with him on the way out.

[u/agodrevealed → u/Expensive_Recipe_433]

My ex was weirdly adamant about me and our kid meeting what turned out to be his sidepiece and her son. 

His mom told me she found a picture of the boy under his bed. I think its his son. 

Anyway- haven't had contact with him in years. But yeah, these people are deranged. 

[u/1ReluctantRedditor → u/Expensive_Recipe_433]

Exactly. Like, what the actual fuck is that about?

[u/agodrevealed → u/1ReluctantRedditor]

The thrill is in the deception. I had one of these. 

They're so much smarter than you they can play in your face! It makes them feel superior and powerful.

They don't understand its that they lack morality. Not that normal people are stupid. Course to them its the same thing.

Anyway, yeah, psycho behavior

[u/girlmeetsgun → u/Expensive_Recipe_433]

Yeah....I had something happen to me like this when I was 20. I had met my bf's coworker dozens of times, including with her fiancé. They broke up, but she continued to hang with us. We all went to the beach, mini golfing, out to eat, etc.

The whole time they were fooling around together. It was....just a mind fuck.

[u/Snapdragonzzz → u/girlmeetsgun]

Similar situation as well, my bf at the time was a cook at a restaurant and one night we were sitting at the bar after his shift and his foh manager came up and starting talking about how her husband thought she was cheating with a guy at her work (not my bf). They laughed about how ridiculous it was.

Found out like 3 weeks later when her husband took her phone that she was banging my bf. Had him saved in her phone under one of her bridesmaids names. He and her laughing in my unknowing face about it is a decade later still savage.

[u/Footnotegirl1 → u/girlmeetsgun]

Yeahp. My ex made sure that I met the new girl a couple of times as she was this 'cool person' that he was in this community theater production with and he thought that we'd make great friends and we could double date with her and her fiance.

A week later he broke up with me over text as she was his 'soul mate'.

[u/Old-Parking8765 → u/Expensive_Recipe_433]

For real. What a sadist.

[u/res06myi → u/GreenEyedGloom]

Men don't waste their time; they waste yours.

[u/black_girl_academic → u/res06myi]

This!!!

[u/Kooky4CocoaPuffs → u/res06myi]

Totally quotable!

[u/Physical-Extreme-330 → u/GreenEyedGloom]

I came to say exactly this! I used to look at my ex as wasted years, but honestly, once he was gone I learned to actually focus on and enjoy myself and my time. I realized I spent way too much energy worried about him and nowhere near enough working on me. My single time was actually pretty great for me. Now I have an amazing husband and two kickass toddlers that bring more joy to my life than I ever imagined possible!

So, take yourself on dates doing your favorite things, maybe discover some new ones, and be extra kind to yourself because that’s the kind of treatment you deserve, not whatever this boy was doing.

[u/Tirza_Fury]

https://giphy.com/gifs/5tmRHwTlHAA9WkVxTU

[u/wasraelx → u/Tirza_Fury]

OP underneath us

[u/4Dogs4Life → u/Tirza_Fury]

OMG 😭 such a sweet GIF for OP

[u/Corazon-Atomico-]

God he’s such a piece of shirt. The fact that he even asked if you went through his phone is just insane knowing what he’s doing.

You deserve so much better, and I’m so proud of you for realizing that this isn’t where you want your energy invested

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/Corazon-Atomico-]

The beach invite was nasty af!
That’s when you have absolutely noooo moral respect or remorse

[u/Travelcat67 → u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

I had a guy do this to me once. We used to all hang out as a group of four, but then the other couple broke up and she “needs support”. So foul.

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/Travelcat67]

Better off without the drama!

[u/Wiseness1037 → u/Corazon-Atomico-]

He wanted you to see his texts. Seems like he was trying to hurt you. An honorable man would have told you.

So glad you are getting out. Mourn the loss of what you thought you had with him and then make a new life.

[u/MusicOfTheSphere → u/Wiseness1037]

He wanted her to see the texts, to be pissed off and act crazy, so he could blame her for the relationship failing and he could play the victim.

Definitely her chance to make a clean break from this psycho on her own terms. Take control away from him.

[u/Jerseygirl2468 → u/MusicOfTheSphere]

Absolutely this. She'd become the "crazy ex" and he'd continue lying to the current side piece. Sooner or later he'll do it to her too.

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

I went through this
And quietly pack my shit and left

He came to a empty apartment
I took everything that belong to me
Even the bathroom shower curtains

Wasn’t giving him the opportunity to try and convince me I was wrong, one more time…

Block him on everything
Move states
Changed phone numbers
Never saw him again and started my healing journey
Also 6 years…

Sorry girl ! Cry a river build a bridge and cross it
It will get better! Let Sandy deal with him
She will get tired soon too !!
Enjoy the cookies !!! They look yummy!!

[u/justmitzie → u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

Exactly. Took the vehicle that I paid for and was in my name and everything that belonged to me while he was hanging out with his "friend." He came home to an empty apartment and I didn't have to deal with one more moment of gaslighting. From him, at least. His church tracked me down but that's a much longer story.

[u/OddOwl27 → u/justmitzie]

HIS CHURCH?! Oh my. Absolute absurdity to believe "God is on their side" after mistreating their partner.

[u/justmitzie → u/OddOwl27]

The whole story is incredibly ugly and they blamed me entirely even after knowing the details. Church people are mostly able to forgive men and blame women.

[u/OddOwl27 → u/justmitzie]

oh for sure. its... despicable. I left the church in my early 20s. You made master chess moves in that ew of situation. Happy you're out of that mess.

[u/ImWatermelonelyy → u/justmitzie]

It does amuse me when people try to act like Christianity is so welcoming and kind to women.

Organized religion, no matter where or what, is always going to subjugate those it deems weaker. Telling people that they are first, stronger, chosen, and better is the easiest way to sway them to your side and convince them to give you anything you want.

[u/Legitimate-Article50 → u/ImWatermelonelyy]

My church tried to bully me into taking my abuser back. F that ish.

[u/RobinBaby_69 → u/justmitzie]

i don’t mean to pry but was this the mormon church perhaps cause it sure sounds like it to me 😭💔 (no need to answer) either way i hope you’re doing okay now 💓

edit just saw ur other reply sorry bad wifi over here 💀

[u/Bri-KachuDodson → u/justmitzie]

Am i terrible person for wanting to know what happened? If so please feel free to ignore me or tell me to fuck off, I'll totally understand. 🫶

[u/justmitzie → u/Bri-KachuDodson]

Sent a pm.

[u/afortressmighty → u/justmitzie]

I’d love to know what church did this. I have a similar story. They actually tried to pressure me into reconciling with him.
https://giphy.com/gifs/l1J9D0t6AfjUfC6Vq

[u/justmitzie → u/afortressmighty]

Southern Baptist. I loved everything about christianity except the christians.

[u/goddessoftrees → u/justmitzie]

Ooh, being from the deep south the Southern Baptists, Primitive Baptists, and Pentecostals are the worst at this stuff! I moved to Colorado and lived across from First Baptist Church in downtown Denver and was delighted at how... normal it was? I mean it was still not my cup of tea, but it was far different from the First Baptist Church in my hometown in Georgia, that's for sure.

[u/afortressmighty → u/justmitzie]

Girl, same.

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/justmitzie]

Sometimes the best revenge is doing nothing about it!
I’m glad that you took what was yours!! Yesss!!!
And as a born and raised Christian I’m sorry for what you went through!! I’ve been there too and yeah not all believers are the same, but “church” make that very difficult to prove!! So I just rather preach with my life and example/actions and not with words behind a Bible high up in a pulpit!

[u/4Dogs4Life → u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

I can’t even applaud you enough for how you handled this. This is the most classiest best way ever to handle it.

If someone goes Cray Cray in a situation like this, they would turn it all on you and make you to be the culprit of everything falling apart, but what you did was so graceful and so classy I feel like if I keep clapping my hands they’re going to fall off 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
💞 wish you the best life ever

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/4Dogs4Life]

You are soooo sweet! Please be my friend!!
Thank you so much for the kindness in your words and your appreciation! Is very healing! I wish you the best life ever!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[u/Homologous_Trend → u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

I think one message to the AP explaining what a liar he is would be a good final gesture as well.

[u/Berriesinthesnow_ → u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

You’re so strong and that’s what I would do too. Just disappear and you’ll eventually feel better

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/Berriesinthesnow_]

Is better!! You avoid so much drama in a moment where you are already vulnerable!! Thank you for your kindness and admiration, is honestly healing!! 😍🥰🥹

[u/Berriesinthesnow_ → u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

Hope you eventually find someone worth your love and energy!! You did so well

[u/agodrevealed → u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

Stone cold bad b type right here, I love this for you

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/agodrevealed]

Thank you soooo very much!!! 🥹❤️ means so much to me , is healing !!!!

[u/agodrevealed → u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

This is what we need to be teaching our children. 

To respect themselves.

Not all this "forgive and forget", "be the bigger person", "choose kindness". NO

These attitudes apply to people that understand and appreciate decency. 

People that so thoroughly disrespect and use and abuse you DO NOT speak or understand a language of decency. They think you're stupid for showing kindness. 

So leave on your terms without giving them the satisfaction of a scene or the opportunity to see they hurt you. They don't care about your hurt, they're flattered by it. 

Anyway, wish I would've figured that out sooner in life. There's no reward for dealing with someone's bullshit. 

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/agodrevealed]

Preach girl preach!!! You deserve a cookie 🍪 and few more because yesssss!!!!
All of this is self love - packing and leaving is self love- when we take disrespect we also letting them know that is ok to treat us that way and NO
I refuse that!! So yessss pack and go !!!

[u/sugarplum_hairnet → u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

Saame. I took every damn curtain down, bath mats etc. Had to move back to my home state so I gave all the groceries I had bought to a neighbor. I didnt even leave the salt and pepper lol. I did clean and take pics before leaving so I couldnt be blamed for anything. I was tempted to dump the litter boxes on the bed or something, but it felt better to be the bigger person. Karma ended up slapping him hard I learned thru a friend and I'm now the happiest I've ever been.

OP pack your shit and ghost that loser. You're gonna look back in a year and be glad you didn't waste any more time. We believe in you girl💕

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/sugarplum_hairnet]

Yessss this is victory!!!
Moving on and healing !!!
I admired you for choosing to be the bigger person!! Glad to know you are doing well now and that you also took the shower curtain (what can I said between my mom and I we had gotten ours so yeah…)!!

[u/feraldreamrot]

Better only 6 years than the rest of your life.

Look into the storage unit's policy about leaving shit there. Pay the balance, cancel it & take your shit. Good luck!!

[u/afortressmighty → u/feraldreamrot]

THIS! Pay the balance but leave the lock. Don’t say a word to him. He’ll either figure it out … or he won’t. 🥱

ETA: thanks for the awards, kind Redditors!

[u/lezjournal]

Girl be petty, don’t even tell him to grab his shit. Just trash it. 🤷‍♀️ If he can’t be bothered to pay it then he clearly doesn’t want it.

[u/StarsInTheRoof111 → u/lezjournal]

Better yet, get your shit out of it and let the storage unit sell his shit. Since he doesn’t pay it, maybe he won’t notice. 😂😂

[u/Aleks1224 → u/StarsInTheRoof111]

NAL but my bf is a cop and I just asked him the theoretical of this and she should give "reasonable notice" (like a text 30 days out) and make sure she keeps evidence of the text bc without it, he could likely sue her in civil court if she were to do this

[u/spacemouse21 → u/Aleks1224]

https://giphy.com/gifs/ZIpjIdHyA5DWVNE35r

[u/Low-Spirit-8809 → u/spacemouse21]

I’m sorry to say but yeah that whole 30 days notice thing sounds super nice and all but like come on what’s he gonna sue for a few months of a storage unit cost he could’ve paid just as much as she could’ve. It’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t even give him the time a day and clearly he’s probably not that motivated. I can’t even imagine him trying to sue you like seriously come on.

[u/Low-Spirit-8809 → u/Aleks1224]

I would just pay what you need to to get into the storage locker take what’s yours, and then after you’ve left, tell him that it’s up to him to continue the payments, what’s he gonna do in small claims court see you for one month lack of notice seriously it’s not even worth the time of day to do that

[u/Extension_Low_1571 → u/Low-Spirit-8809]

But the storage place will continue to charge her since she rented it.

[u/Low-Spirit-8809 → u/Extension_Low_1571]

Yes, so she takes all her stuff, and then when she’s ready to tell him, she gives notice for the storage unit and then tells him about it at the same time. Tell him he has 30 days to get his stuff out or pay for the next month and that he needs to go there and deal with it, and put it in his name if he wants to keep the unit, I would tell the administration at the storage facility of the situation and that if he doesn’t renew the storage term in his name, then after the 30 days they can dispose of his items.

I really wouldn’t tell him ahead of time .

[u/goddessoftrees → u/Extension_Low_1571]

You can transfer ownership. My storage was under my best friend (at the time's) name when I was moving back to town. Her current bf held me at gun point after I discovered he was abusing her. I ended up moving in with her ex-husband's mother (long ass story, but she was at fault there for cheating on him)... and we were easily able to transfer ownership of the unit. They should be able to do the same.

[u/StarsInTheRoof111 → u/Aleks1224]

Yeah she doesn’t need the hassle of him whining in small claims court or some horseshit.

[u/Aleks1224 → u/StarsInTheRoof111]

Yeah cause it also depends on what the judge considers reasonable notice too

[u/agodrevealed → u/Aleks1224]

Yeah right. This guy is taking the money and time to stand up in court and talk about this. He don't even have a car. 

[u/Wolfs_Rain → u/StarsInTheRoof111]

That’s my thinking. Just get her stuff and then leave it to him to take over the payments or get the stuff out. It’s on him then.

[u/StarsInTheRoof111 → u/Wolfs_Rain]

Yes exactly and it avoids any petty legality shit he might pull over his stuff if she just tosses it.

[u/bunkie18 → u/StarsInTheRoof111]

This ⬆️

[u/Tiny_Prancer_88 → u/StarsInTheRoof111]

That was going to be my suggestion. Girl, worst case scenario, they sell his shit but if it’s past due they won’t let her into it until it’s paid up.

[u/DiscussionPleasant88 → u/StarsInTheRoof111]

Second this !!

[u/idonthaveancoollife → u/StarsInTheRoof111]

I agree BUT I think OP should not tell him the unit has a bill due, OP should get get her stuff from the storage unit and leave his shit in the storage unit and just leave don't tell him or let him know anything.

Because he is a twatwaffle.

OP stay strong 💪.

Sorry if I'm late commenting.

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/lezjournal]

Jejeje I wonder if she can let the storage people take it , you know what happens when you don’t pay a storage… but you know if it’s on her name
Maybe take her stuff out and cancel the unit leaving his shit in there…

[u/Low-Spirit-8809 → u/lezjournal]

Absolutely, those are just things clearly if he cared, he would’ve paid and things don’t matter nearly as much as your emotional well-being, which he has literally trashed. I wouldn’t even do him the justice I would just get rid of it all or leave it there take what’s yours and leave it. Leave the rest of it there to getsold or whatever they do to shit that’s left in storage units.

Especially since giving him notice would give away her whole plan of doing everything under the radar seriously it would only be like one month notice. How much could the storage unit possibly cost? No one in the right mind is gonna take someone to small claims court over a freaking month of storage fees if he can’t get his shit together and pay for it the following month after she’s paid for it then that’s his own issue .

[u/InformationOk6366]

He sucks girl. I’m sorry. Try to enjoy your birthday! Without him! I can’t believe he tried to get you to go to the beach with his side chick what a moron. Maybe he thinks he’s gonna pull both of you. Some men are that delusional unfortunately. He belongs in the 🗑️

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/InformationOk6366]

Everytime I read stuff like this I wish we gals could gather and do birthdays and celebrations and things!
Nobody deserves something like this!

[u/dinahsaur523 → u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

Girls zoom birthday!!

[u/goddessoftrees → u/dinahsaur523]

Honestly it was popular during COVID for happy hours, why the hell not?

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/goddessoftrees]

Exactlyyyyy
Let’s do it!!!

[u/EstellaAnarion → u/dinahsaur523]

I love your flair!

[u/Square_Treacle_4730 → u/Ok-Upstairs4932]

Yessss. This would be so much fun! I also don’t have a large circle and most of my close people live nowhere near me. 😭 It would be so nice to find a girl group.

[u/Ok-Upstairs4932 → u/Square_Treacle_4730]

Me too!!

[u/blastendedskanks]

How the hell would he have explelained himself if y'all had gone to the beach? Was he going to honestly pull of pretending you aren't his gf?? I'm sorry, girl.

[u/wasraelx → u/blastendedskanks]

Either delulu thinking he’s going to pull them both, or he just wanted to hurt OP without her knowing. Either way absolutely disgusting and I’m so glad she’s wasting no time dropping him. The fact he planned it around her birthday too, ffs.

[u/Akitiki → u/wasraelx]

I'd be sorely tempted to have my ducks in a row then go to the beach. Changed my mind I say!

Then at some point, with Sandy right there, "what did you mean when you texted her that I'm not your girlfriend? We've been together six years."

[u/blueberries-Any-kind → u/blastendedskanks]

my sister dated a married man like this-- he did this shit also. I think they get off on it like some school boy thinking they are getting away with something in class. I think its gotta be a low empathy + low intelligence + sexism + immaturity thing

[u/-_-Izira-_-]

Get screenshots and send them to his job. Play stupid games win stupid prizes 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Im petty so if you don’t want to go that route, ignore me.

[u/SarcasticServal → u/-_-Izira-_-]

I was thinking more save her number, get a burner, and then text her. Ideally you would text from his phone and make it clear he’s cheating on her as well.

[u/BewilderedBat17 → u/SarcasticServal]

This ^{^} His response to her, "she's not even my girlfriend explained that to you already" tells me that chances are she was worried about him being taken, and that she might also dump him if she knew

[u/lezjournal → u/-_-Izira-_-]

Love the way you think

[u/nooooopegoawaynope → u/-_-Izira-_-]

Ooh, that’s despicable. I love it.

[u/Long-Cockroach-1163 → u/-_-Izira-_-]

Typically no policy against dating peers who are not your subordinates, that would do nothing but be more embarrassing for OP.

[u/damnuge23 → u/Long-Cockroach-1163]

And he seems like a manipulative piece of shit. He’ll just frame her as crazy and use it as evidence of why he had to get away from her.

[u/black_bean_catterole → u/-_-Izira-_-]

Nah, messing with the other girl’s livelihood when she’s clearly also being lied to is gross.

It’s also likely not against company policy unless there’s a power imbalance.

[u/goddessoftrees → u/black_bean_catterole]

I dk, it would be definitely going against most company policies for places I have worked. I have worked at places that employed people's kids, but never spouses, significant others, or anyone you're romantically involved with, especially if you're in the same department.

Sounds sketchy. It seems like the other girl is clearly thinking she is being lied to as well, so I think doing some research into her--but still dumping this fool is needed. The question is, how much did this girl ACTUALLY know? She clearly knows OP exists and that he lives with her, so what the hell did she think was going on if they live in a 1 bed?

My ex tried to pull this exact same thing and the girl claimed she didn't know. We LIVED IN A ONE BEDROOM AND YOU SEE I HAVE A SIDE OF THE BED.

[u/StarsInTheRoof111]

Happy birthday and lots of hugs to you. Proud of you for already deciding to walk behind his back and blindside him like he did to you, that is the queen way. I also had a 6 year relationship go down the toilet cause he became a shady malignant drug addict. At the time I felt I had wasted so much time, but that was 8 years ago and now I’m with someone who treats me like a treasure.

[u/AccomplishedBlock589]

Girl, since you "aren't even his girlfriend" no need to discuss anything with him everything in your name turn off, leave him blowing in the wind... She did you a favor!! Don't need to tell him shit anymore! I'm so sorry you had to find out so close to your birthday and find any of the bullshit in general! I've been there done that was manipulated to stay only to find more girls lined up!! Head up and just leave clearly he's a POS!! Ghost his ass!!

[u/bardentreblemakers]

Please update us after you utterly ghost his sorry ass.

[u/daytrippper]

I swear to you this has happened to me and I didn’t know dudes did this. Almost like the exact same lies and cover up and then asking me to hang with him and his new lover like they’re just friends? Some people are pathological

[u/lostbirdwings → u/daytrippper]

It happened to me too, and not even from a dude! Ex-wife did it to me with her work subordinate mistress. Together six years. The first time I met the woman (at a pool party), she was extremely drunk and didn't know I was married to her lover and came up to me to tell me she wanted my ex to sit on her face that night because she tasted so good. Some people really are that fucking stupid and/or bold, regardless of gender 🫠

We all worked for the same company and there is some perfect anonymous angel coworker out there who exposed my ex's relationship with her subordinate just as I moved out of the house where the main sewer line imploded and she was left with a $30,000 repair, full mortgage responsibility, and no job. :) bless that wonderful perfect angel whistleblower for helping my ex learn a powerful lesson.

[u/Constant_Cultural]

Best way for you is just leaving without drama, he was heartless too.

[u/Hefty-Club-1259]

Glad you're not wasting anytime leaving! 👋🏾

[u/Strict_Buy_8095]

Same story here only all three of us work together and everyone in the work place knew and was talking about how pathetic I am behind my back

[u/PolkaDotDancer]

Get your stuff out of that storage unit and don't bother saying another word to him. Don't set yourself on fire to light his way. Move out and ghost him. Block his number and let 'Sandy' have him!

Wait till he is at work and move the hell on and out!

[u/agodrevealed → u/PolkaDotDancer]

10/10

[u/SunshineofMyLyfetime → u/PolkaDotDancer]

This the one!

[u/Kailsbabydaddy]

Congratulations you are free

[u/MistressRayne_]

Screenshots and send to his job.

Also, get your stuff, close the storage account and then tell him you closed it. So he has the panic and fear to scramble to get his stuff.

You deserve better, get the heck out of there and run from him

[u/ParfaitOne5604]

i also recently found out my partner has been cheating on me (again 🫩) and deciding your next move is so much tougher than you’d expect. i told myself if i ever found anything else out, i would just ghost him and let him suffer, but when the time came, it was a much harder choice than i thought. just trust your gut, and do what feels most comfortable to you! we got this <3

[u/Bigpinkpanther3]

((Hugs)), I'm so sorry.

[u/CharliesAngel3051]

I’m so sorry but thank God he showed you who he is before it was year 7 or beyond

[u/MsCattatude → u/CharliesAngel3051]

And before kids would have been born to his sorry ass 

[u/DandyWarlocks]

I'd find a way to make sure she knows too. Because it sounds like he's lying to her as well

[u/wasraelx → u/DandyWarlocks]

I mean it does but the beach invite? I’d be curious what he told her about that.

[u/DandyWarlocks → u/wasraelx]

That felt like a trap to me. If she would have agreed to go I guarantee you it would have gotten canceled by the boyfriend.

[u/Ignominious333]

I'd be telling that jasmine you are definitely his gf.

[u/AccomplishedBlock589]

Girl, since you "aren't even his girlfriend" no need to discuss anything with him everything in your name turn off, leave him blowing in the wind... She did you a favor!! Don't need to tell him shit anymore! I'm so sorry you had to find out so close to your birthday and find any of the bullshit in general! I've been there done that was manipulated to stay only to find more girls lined up!! Head up and just leave clearly he's a POS!! Ghost his ass!!

[u/immigrantpatriot]

Oh luv, I'm so sorry. I found out my ex husband was having sex with basically every hot guy he met, & purposely put me in situations where I'd have to talk to them. So many awkward drinks where I knew *something* was weird, but I never dreamed he'd want to humiliate me that way but looking back...that's what he wanted. I assume he & the guy would laugh at me behind my back.

You did nothing wrong, you believed the man who said he loved you meant it. It's the boys who are the jags in our stories - fricking boys.

[u/CelticHipi1616]

Post him in Are We Dating the Same Guy so other girls are warned what they’re like.

[u/Helpful-Mongoose-705]

Who the f does that guy think he is?! Leave quietly and never look back.

[u/Mordinette]

First, I'm sorry this happened to you. But at least you won't waste more years on someone who doesn't deserve you. Leaving while he's out is a good plan. I'd pay the bill for the storage unit, get my stuff, then cancel the contract with his things still in there. Let him deal with it.

I think I'd also let his workplace girlfriend know that he's been lying to her, and you were indeed his girlfriend. From that text message it sounds like she questioned him about it, so maybe she really doesn't know that he was not single. But of course it depends on what's comfortable to you. In any case, cut this guy off and live a good life without a cheater and liar like him!

[u/Lonely_Ad_2423]

Happy Birthday!!! You deserve better.

Be petty, unless it fucks with your peace.

[u/EternalSunshine_9374]

My impulsive self just bought cookies too.. will share the grief here with you

[u/Ordinary_Duck_1231]

My Ex did the sort of slimy shit-inviting their co-worker over for dinner and having game night with them….i finally figured it out! Destroyed me!

[u/Elsieseesdeadpeople]

Ask him for money first girl to pay that thing then cut him off
Trust meeeeeeeeeeeeee
Don’t let your emotions get the best of you make sure YOURE GOOD FIRST then feed him to the dogs

[u/Simply_2sassy4u]

OP, when you leave, take every roll of toilet paper and all the forks with you. Also be sure to scrub the toilet one last time with his toothbrush.
Enjoy the rest of your beautiful future. 💜

[u/TB272]

I’m sorry girl. I’m proud of you for being able to walk away. I’m glad you know your self worth even though this shit sucks. No need to hang onto trash. Also throw his shit out, he didn’t bother to pay for it. Sending you good thoughts.

[u/rdg04]

smart plan! i'm rooting for you!

[u/porkergreen]

It wasn’t a waste! You know better now and you’ve gained the ability to make a better decision in the future. It just really doesn’t feel like that when you’re in the thick of it. Head up girl!

[u/Illimited_Esoterica]

This shit is unbelievably common. New job, new people, SURPRISE! There's a new girl on the block.

A good friend of mine had been with a guy for something like 7 years. All through high school and college. Towards the end of Uni he had a personality shift and became a "tech bro" type instead of just a nerd. Started going to the gym constantly, got a tech job, became a lot more arrogant and soon enough he decided to upgrade the girlfriend as well with some new one he met at the office. She was the same person the whole time and he just decided he wanted to be someone new and she wasn't good enough anymore.

That was years ago and he's still the benchmark for "piece of shit" in my book. I'm so sorry you had this happen to you. Hang in there.

[u/Wonderful-Trouble-31]

Girl, you’re better than me cuz I would have let his dumb stupid ass have it!

I’m really sorry this happened to you, but I’m also proud of you for not sticking around through the bullshit or blaming yourself!

[u/EstellaAnarion]

I’m so sorry you have to deal with this. What an awful person. One of my exes did something similar, I had bad feelings about a friend he was hanging out with a lot that he met at his church. I just knew something was up, he invited her over to watch the season finale of “our show” which was so weird because we never watched it with anyone else. Sure enough I caved and checked his Facebook messages later when he left himself logged in on accident. He had been complaining about me to her for months and trying to figure out how to get me to break up with him.

It’s such a terrible feeling but it’s been many years now and it was almost immediately an improvement in my life to not have him around.

[u/Haunting-Map-3475]

Move in silence. Get yourself tested. That’s my best advice. Good luck friend ❤️

[u/TurquoiseTrashPanda]

[u/Disastrous_End5762]

No one just lends their car out especially not co workers
K

[u/Disastrous_End5762]

Don’t even tell him the move out date for the unit
Just get your belongings and move on
What a damn prick! To do a double date on the beach is next level audacity

[u/arinspeaks]

Don’t feel bad my bf did smth very similar 4 days ago. Been together 7 years, he got a new gf, I had no clue. Spent the last 4 days trying to manage finances, got my shit out of the house, moved in with my mom. The reason for breaking up? He wanted kids NOW & he wanted me to be religious. I’ve been against kids & an atheist since the start of our relationship lmfao. U can msg me if u want.

[u/Berriesinthesnow_]

That really sucks and must have been a gut punch. Take all the time you need but I’m really glad you have the self love to leave. See if you can stay with a friend and def tell your parents and some friends about this. Hope things get better eventually. Just move your stuff and block him.

[u/vannahpira]

6 years is exactly how much time i wasted on my cheating ex. it’s now been 6 years since we broke up and now im just glad to be free! better 6 years than 12 or a lifetime

[u/orangeappeel]

Sorry that happened to you, but good on you for planning to get out. I know exactly what that gut punch feeling is like. It’s a horrible feeling, but once he’s out of the picture things will get better. What I don’t understand is why he thought putting the two of you together would be a good idea, if he’s trying to hide the status of your relationship from the other girl.

[u/selfphase]

Don’t help him get access to the stuff in the storage unit with YOUR name on it that he hasn’t helped pay for. SELL THE STUFF! And get away from him. So sorry you’re dealing with this. It goes without saying, but needs to be heard, it’s nothing wrong with you that’s making him act like this. He just sucks. You can do better and will.

[u/malendalayla]

Girl don't pay the storage. Let them auction off his janky shit.

[u/GlassApprehensive620]

Love your exit plan. You’re a strong woman. The right man is out there for you somewhere. Godspeed

[u/PhilosopherHuge6453]

I’m sorry this is happening to you. Here’s what I would do in your shoes:

1. Get your stuff out of storage then let it go, they can sell his shit since he wasn’t too concerned about it when he stopped paying it.

2. If the home is yours throw his shit outside, change the locks. If it’s his, quietly get your stuff out while he’s at work and disconnect anything that’s in your name

3. Block him on everything

4. Give Jasmin a heads up that you were in fact his girlfriend of 6 years and he’s been cheating on you. If she’s dumb enough to stay with that loser than that’s on her but at least she’ll have the facts and know he’s a cheater because it’s clear she knows nothing and is also being played.

5. Focus on yourself, heal and then when you’re ready find a man who will worship you & ONLY you for the queen you are because you deserve that type of love!

[u/perkinomics]

Not a girl so I shouldn't be here but I'm so relieved to learn that's an orange and not an egg

[u/LouiseWH]

It will get better- i swear. I spent 7 years on a guy who cheated in the end. My life is amazing now 11 years later, and I feel loved and appreciated in ways I didn’t know were possible. This will raise the bar for you in very good ways- it put my bullshit meter on high alert so I didn’t settle again. You can just be a sad for a while, but know there’s a girl in Pennsylvania holding space for the good things I know are coming your way.

[u/Consistent_Kick_7208]

It’s always funny to me how they leave the most obvious paper trail and then act like they’ve just gotten away with the biggest heist in history. Good news is, he’ll always have a devastating love life and cheaters always have a massive empty hole inside them.

[u/nas0427]

You should go visit him at lunch and knock on the car window and say hello.

[u/Opposite_Jeweler_953]

Op I’m really sorry. Please don’t think as these years lost, I’m sure you learned from this.

I agree with most of your plan, he doesn’t deserve better. But about the storage… I would check if there’s an alternative. Remove your things, and see if he will pay to retrieve his things. I really don’t know the legal part, it may be worth checking, but if he doesn’t pay by x date I would sell his things. That may pay part of the debt. If he doesn’t care about his things why should you? Ohhh and I would be kind enough to Jazmin and would let her know about his lies. We should help each other. Shouldn’t we?

[u/mensfrightsactivists]

gosh another part here that’s so gross is how he’s been lying to jasmin too. poor thing probably had no clue. obviously you’re the focus here OP and you deserve so much better. but how repulsive is it that he’s just leaving so much pain in his wake. ew 😔

[u/imjustababygoat]

My heart breaks for you. Sending you so much love
https://giphy.com/gifs/2GDHOfqcmYIX6

[u/IcyKerosene]

As someone who has been single for.... a long time, just know that the time you spent with him wasn't down the drain. You were open and learning about yourself and your relationship. You learned from you time, it wasn't pointless. Get a therapist, move on and grow into the person you were meant to be.

[u/No_Paper7734]

Im sorry this is happening to you. May be too early to want to hear this. But on the bright side, he have you the best bday present by being the trash that took itself out. Sandy can have all those icky leftovers. Proud of you for being strong about this. It wasn't 6 years wasted. You learned from the relationship. And it wasnt him you loved. It was the man you thought he was. Best of luck OP! You're gonna kill it out there

[u/sunshinesdarkangel]

Leaving while he's at work and him coming home to an empty apartment and blocked on everything is PERFECT 💖💕

[u/Foe10km]

Hey! I work at a storage place, and while I can’t guarantee they offer it it’s worth checking. My company (U-Haul) does something called a Move out deal Or alternatively even an Abandonment letter. It varies on location how much it can cost, it can range anywhere from a percentage of what you owe to as low as 20 dollars. That’s the nice option to give him roughly 3 days to get what he wants out. Alternatively you can just sign an abandonment letter and wash your hands of the situation. I don’t know if other storage companies have something similar but it’s definitely worth asking! I hope this helps a bit!

[u/Riksunraksu]

Pay for the unit, get out of the rental contract and tell him to store his shit at Jasmin’s. Btw contact her and tell her she’s the side chick.
Fuck him

[u/MindlesslyRoaming]

What the other comments said, also tell her too if you have it in you (once you’re safe and out). It seems like he’s been lying to both of you.

[u/hosiki]

What an absolute piece of shit.

[u/pootcelebration]

The beach invite is psychotic

[u/Adventurous-Egg-8818]

Who's name is the storage unit in and the apt. If it's on her name put his shit out.

[u/Competitive_Box_9295]

who he texted “chill before I come fuck you”

Damn, I feel it here. 💔

Edit: 🫂

[u/SnooBeans7087]

Whatever you do, please give us an update later because I think we all need to know the tea once he finds out. Im so sorry you are going through this...💔💔 Happy Birthday and fuck him...

[u/pancetta9]

I’m very sorry for you, OP. Lots of virtual hugs and may you feel better soon.

[u/2wochinz]

https://giphy.com/gifs/8oJkhGQOaQvbDuHDRv

I’m sorry this happened to you. Nobody deserves this treatment ):

[u/No-Letterhead-4711]

Updateme!