r/oddlysatisfying • u/NeonChurch • 2d ago

Packed my wife's lunch

Post image
6.6k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

130 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/thetallgirll 2d ago

Lettuce and blueberries?? Living on the edge rn

418

u/ReverendSprinkles86 2d ago

Lettuce and blueberries in the same container? Someone clearly woke up feeling reckless.

126

u/Isenrath 2d ago

What we don't know is OP and their wife are having a tiff right now, they know what they doing...

65

u/Beautiful_Nobody_344 2d ago

It’s the fancy crinkled lettuce.

169

u/thetallgirll 2d ago

Gonna be fancy diarrhea

17

u/LincolnHighwater 1d ago

Sparkling diarrhea, depending on the region.

32

u/Beautiful_Nobody_344 2d ago

Don’t come in and ratio me like that 😭

6

u/McDaddy8484 2d ago

I feel you, precisely why I don’t ever post anything:)

105

u/TurnipWorldly9437 2d ago

What's wrong with lettuce and blueberries? Do you have some pandemonium going on we over here don't know about?

234

u/thetallgirll 2d ago

A parasite that gives explosive diarrhea is on the rise ...both items are high up on the suspect list

61

u/TurnipWorldly9437 2d ago

Well, at least it doesn't seem to be transferable person-to-person (yet), according to the BBC.

So for now we Europeans will just have to prepare to fight off the American flying lettuces, and buy toilet paper just in case (again)...

61

u/AndrewLocksmith 1d ago

Yeah, as a European I was completely in the dark seeing all the jokes in the comments about lettuce and blueberries, lol.

Thought it was some kind of cardinal sin like pineapple on pizza.

20

u/firefaery 1d ago

Hey wait I LOVE pineapple on pizza! ;)

8

u/AndrewLocksmith 1d ago

Honestly, I don't mind it either.

It was the first example that came to mind because in general most people will give you weird looks if you say you like it.

3

u/firefaery 1d ago

Totally! Its a secret except on Reddit. Tastes soooo good. For regular pizza I dunk in ranch dressing. 

3

u/BlendinMediaCorp 1d ago

Girl add some pickled red onions and sweet-pickled jalapeños, SO good🔥

11

u/TurnipWorldly9437 1d ago

Lettuce pray it stays that way. It wouldn't be berry nice if we got hit, too.

3

u/lywyre 1d ago

Oh! That is oddly... interestinnngg.

2

u/mrbofus 1d ago

I thought the culprit is more likely to be packaged lettuce than fresh lettuce?

-2

u/TimHung931017 1d ago

Sounds like an American problem

12

u/cda555 1d ago

Fuck I miss lettuce and blueberries. It’s only been a week since we switched to no lettuce and frozen berries.

1

u/RaidensReturn 1d ago

We grow our own! It’s EZPZ

2

u/IwoodMasher 1d ago

And mustard.

1

u/Jayda_bigToe 1h ago

honestly have just been eating them like normal, i have ibs so i wont see a change anyways.

-4

u/KrustyConfessor69 2d ago

A dangerous combination. One wrong bite and lunch becomes unexpectedly healthy.

-33

u/mdbeatle 2d ago

He probably thinks his wife is fat.

7

u/Mysterious-Egg-624 2d ago

Or she just likes good food.

389

u/Mannequinmolester 2d ago

Diagonal cut, that is true love right there

70

u/Optimal-Idea1558 2d ago

Those triangles aren't from the same slice of bread.

OP is feasting on the 2 other halves as a reward for his tesselation.

17

u/plainoverplight 1d ago

could be a pullman loaf!

8

u/Barth_Grookz 1d ago

Growing up me and my brothers would say “cut it like a roof”. My dad worked in roof truss construction.

-9

u/ben_woah 2d ago

"Bread was never meant to be triangular. It was meant to be square, like a good field"  - Mícheál Ó Muircheartaigh

1

u/Mysterious-Egg-624 2d ago

He’s right. Sandwiches are eaten WHOLE and there’s no other way

10

u/Occidentally20 2d ago

You get more sandwich when you cut it in half.

The maths behind this is confusing but you'll just have to trust me.

2

u/Mysterious-Egg-624 1d ago

Absolutely not

9

u/Occidentally20 1d ago

Look I'm no mathmetologist but I'm 100% sure on this one.

3

u/posthamster 2d ago

Say that to my grilled cheese

-4

u/Mysterious-Egg-624 1d ago

Grilled cheese is eaten WHOLE

195

u/RetardsBeLike 1d ago

Has anyone considered that maybe they're not American lol

28

u/Designer-Ad-7844 1d ago

This is the Internet sir. Everyone is clearly a dude and an American.

2

u/emrythecarrot 15h ago

WELCOME
to the internet
Have a look around
Anything that brain of yours can think of can be found~

2

u/19aplatt 1d ago

Especially considering OP’s post/comment history shows they’re Canadian 😂

-2

u/Gnarly_Sarley 1d ago

What does that have to do with anything?

124

u/dburr10085 2d ago

Oh no!! Is that lettuce? Have you heard??

13

u/Sorkpappan 1d ago

What did I miss?

28

u/butteredtoast69 1d ago

Parasite that’s been going around in a lot of lettuce causing explosive diarrhea in the US right now.

23

u/DualityEnigma 1d ago

Depends on Ops location. If they are in Michigan, watch out. If they are in Washington state we haven’t had any cases here yet.

7

u/butteredtoast69 1d ago

Yeah location definitely varies. I’m in WA as well and am glad it hasn’t hit here yet!

5

u/Rover_791 1d ago

And if they're in one of the other 194 countries...

-6

u/Deathcommand 1d ago

How deadly is it?

I gotta wedding to go to and I wanna look good up there.

1

u/emrythecarrot 15h ago

Head first into a po-li-ti-cal~ abyss! (Head first! Into the abyss)

78

u/PlayPsychological200 Hi 2d ago

This looks a photo from a 70s Good Housekeeping magazine for some reason. Food looks good. 

20

u/Shinji7_Clave 1d ago

It’s the lighting, the square container, and that aggressively neat sandwich. Add a glass of milk and a smiling family in matching sweaters and the ad is complete.

5

u/omfgDragon 1d ago

aggressively neat sandwich

That's going to be a fun phrase to work into my next conversation with a stranger.

35

u/jadewithmello 2d ago

She definitely married a graphic designer.

6

u/mxlespxles 2d ago

It's his passion

12

u/Due_Explanation9937 1d ago

iPhone 20 leaked

9

u/Shiningc00 1d ago

But… how do you get it out.

10

u/Stifology 1d ago

Shoehorn, of course

8

u/Tough_Put_9801 1d ago

That’s a lot of blueberries.

4

u/hurlish 1d ago

Maybe she's a bear

16

u/Verix19 1d ago

That's gonna be a soggy sandwich

19

u/Acrobatic_Pen_7933 1d ago

the blueberries are divided in a separate container

7

u/Tunasquish 1d ago

Water vapor don’t care

31

u/Acrobatic_Pen_7933 1d ago

i’ve eaten things like this that turned out just fine countless times. sorry about all your water vapors and soggy sandwiches! i must have better luck

2

u/Entomemer 1d ago

I love when the bread is a little soggy. I buy ham and cheese sandwiches from the gas station for this exact reason lol

3

u/Verix19 1d ago

Hard pass on soggy bread 🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/Entomemer 1d ago

Absolutely fair! I only like it in certain circumstances

2

u/pepcorn 1d ago

I agree, it's hydrating.

3

u/kentuckyfirewater 1d ago

The top portion is perfect for a zebra cake

6

u/Melodic_Cow_107 1d ago

I don't see food there, i see love

2

u/firefaery 1d ago

Beautiful!

2

u/Zacharacamyison 1d ago

Berry sandwich 17 Pro

2

u/Appropriate_Iron_322 1d ago

Did you use a laser level to cut the sandwich?

2

u/brywalkerx 1d ago

iLunch 17 Pro Max

2

u/ch33zyman 1d ago

Where do you get bread that square

3

u/avemflamma 1d ago

turn the contrast down buddy

2

u/Ok_Examination7872 2d ago

Looks perfect! So sweet of you!🥰🥰

2

u/Illustrious-Towel-45 2d ago

Nice. Looks good.

2

u/10ThousandMetalZones 1d ago

Frozen blueberries have more antioxidants

1

u/sskylar 1d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/fj3CWRJJshhe
If you don’t mind the stains

1

u/Retritos 1d ago

Do people actually only have a small sandwich for lunnch?

1

u/cakecatUwU 1d ago

Yes some do, most dutchies eat a sandwich with cheese and thats it.oh and maybe a piece of fruit and milk 😋

1

u/common_hence 1d ago

What's the verdict chef?

1

u/omfgDragon 1d ago

I cut the crusts off of the sandwiches I make for my wife. She doesn't like crusts .. and on one hand, I want to poke fun at her, but on the other hand, I like breathing, so I just cut the crusts off in silence instead.

1

u/_bhujiya 1d ago

What’s the verdict : Cat?

1

u/36848 1d ago

How can this be a lunch?

1

u/Wealandwoe 16h ago

It’s food, and if eaten around midday many people would consider that lunch. Hope that helps!

1

u/DystopianWreck 1d ago

press F for me as I sit my inlaws bathroom for the 8th time since 5pm. Blueberries with breakfast and salad for dinner.

1

u/_michaelromeo 1d ago

I thought this was an iPhone 17 Pro Max.

1

u/Seasidegoats 1d ago

Did she annoy you before you packed her lunch

1

u/Juan_Moe_Taco 20h ago

Those 90 degree angles of that bread wow!

https://giphy.com/gifs/CBvaMLsgYSf4Y

1

u/Flimsy-Island-8528 1h ago

This is not satisfying at all. The diagonal cut is off edge not perfectly cut in the middle of the edge.. Not satisfying at all. Happy for your wife though.

https://giphy.com/gifs/KymorXwDdmvw4

0

u/Kneeslide8 2d ago

I would be hungry after if I ate this

2

u/KAtotheRUZO 2d ago

Looks good buddy But where is my lunch ?

2

u/Mysterious-Egg-624 2d ago

Sorry buddy you gotta marry him for free lunch

1

u/MisterPiggyWiggy 2d ago

How sweet! 🥹

1

u/McDaddy8484 2d ago

Perfectly tidy and symmetrical (kinda)

1

u/OneManFight 1d ago

What is this, a lunch for ants!? You married an ant!?

1

u/squiblet 1d ago

I think I'm missing a joke here..is there something wrong with lettuce now?

1

u/topshot51 1d ago

Damn shes lucky

-1

u/charlesmans0n 1d ago

You got a poop fetish or something?

-3

u/wa77zz 1d ago

How sweet. What color was your apron?

0

u/diamondz89 1d ago

Blueberries have a lot of pesticides.

-1

u/Shurl19 1d ago

At least it's not dog food.....

-3

u/EuphoricMidnight3304 1d ago

Why the fuck am I on here. “Here’s a sandwich”x. What the fuck am I doing.

-16

u/Another_Road 2d ago

The second I saw this I knew there were going to be people in the comments going “well akschually…”

-19

u/Shart127 2d ago

I love boba!!!

4

u/Yuri909 2d ago

Is the Boba in the room with us?

-8

u/NoemiKumquat 1d ago

So sweet keep her❤️

-2

u/2098065 1d ago

Read the post title again.