r/MadeMeSmile 17h ago

ANIMALS 🦥

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30.3k Upvotes

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3.0k

u/Mauhea 17h ago

Don't sloths climb down to the bottom of trees to poop? Imagine your kid finally sits on the potty and some rando yeets them in the air and on your shoulders mid grunt.

1.6k

u/Rei-Dan 16h ago

So that last shot wasnt her shaking his hand, it was her giving him the finger…

198

u/FragrantExcitement 15h ago

But she has no fingers Dan.

125

u/TheWaningWizard 15h ago

Lieutenant Dan, she's got no fingers

46

u/RelationTop2826 14h ago

How is she going to hold an ice cream when she has no fingers Lieutenant Dan?

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4

u/Creasy007 11h ago

Yes, I know that.

2

u/Jolantafathom0o 9h ago

Yeah no finger

24

u/Ok-Nothing8682 11h ago

"he was just about to shit!" 🤌

12

u/mynameisglaceon 13h ago

she was attacking him

5

u/X_soulnewmegaman 10h ago

Dumbass gonna learn the hardway

1

u/EyeJustSaidThat 5h ago

Or maybe wiping her fingers...

1

u/Same_Efficiency2810 5h ago

Dan there are no fingers. That nails would wreck the hole.

48

u/rez050101 16h ago

That Willem Dafoe meme would perfectly fit with your explanation.

45

u/Great_Ad7215 16h ago

Lol came here for this comment. He meant well, but the poor baby was probably trying to poop.

17

u/drewzil1a 14h ago

They do, but apparently the fatality rate for doing as such is around 50%.

47

u/TapeDeckSlick 16h ago edited 16h ago

They do and the kids have a lil nibble on it too

Downvote me all you want, it's an actual fact.

8

u/shadowst17 14h ago

Nothing beats home made.

6

u/AllTheSilentThoughts 10h ago

Yep, and this is pretty much universal in the mammalian animal kingdom, especially with herbivores. Some carnivores do too though more often it's the mom eating all the baby poop for a while. :')

10

u/somesortoflegend 14h ago

They climb down once a week though and mom was going up it looked like. Don't want to miss that bus.

7

u/failed_supernova 15h ago

Mid grunt, lol

3

u/duckybun 16h ago

Poetry 🤣

3

u/264palms 9h ago

Slots often enough will not retrieve babies if they fall

5

u/cellblock2187 13h ago

I knew about the ground pooping, so the whole time I was wondering if that kid will now be weaker weaker for life, kind of like a butterfly- if you help it out of the cocoon, if it doesn't get a chance to use those muscles as intended, and it'll die.

2

u/Amathyst7564 8h ago

Makes sense, how else would the poo get down? You don't want a bunch of sloth hover poop hanging around your tree.

1

u/Bensalhem 4h ago

sloth pooping logistics really overlooked here yeah

1

u/ulivaraque 1h ago

I can‘t even imagine hehe

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635

u/amdaly10 17h ago

It was prob pooping. The go down to the ground to poop.

82

u/thefuckevengoingonan 13h ago

same

15

u/Ordinary_dude_NOT 6h ago

You poop with Sloths?

10

u/cr1ttter 5h ago

It's on my rainforest travel itinerary

2

u/MrWindmill 4h ago

Don't we all?

2

u/Silent_Purchase_2654 2h ago

How else are you supposed to wipe?

4

u/Annual_Phrase841 6h ago

Why wouldn’t they just poop from the tree ? 😭 doesn’t that put them in danger ?

24

u/wite_noiz 6h ago

Look, no one claimed they were clever. They have standards, though, and not flinging their waste from the treetops like those disgusting monkeys is one of them.
If getting eaten is the cost of maintaining those standards, then so be it.

2

u/runningwithsharpie 4h ago

Apparently, they poop in the ground because they need to help the sloth moths that can help them grow their algae on their furs.

157

u/seilapodeser 16h ago

Rescue from what exactly? Just looks stupid and dangerous to me

84

u/Annual-Way6401 13h ago

Rescued it from taking a shit

3

u/Hixy 5h ago

Maybe the cameraman is a psychopath.

1.0k

u/Minimum_Society841 17h ago

Good job, now wash your hands..

563

u/tryagainnoob 17h ago

This. Sloths are the natures equivalent of radioactive waste.

183

u/A3HeadedMunkey 17h ago

"As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic sloth"

  • Franz Kafka, if he knew about sloths

40

u/ILoveRawChicken 15h ago

As someone who loves Kafka and Sloths I would pay money for this version 

31

u/GodButCursed 17h ago

Why?

40

u/TeethForCeral 14h ago

sloths backs actually host an entire ecosystem of algae and moths! these moths spend their entire life cycle with the sloths, their young living in their backs. Sloths will also sometimes eat the algae growing on them! it’s really interesting!

80

u/slavelabor52 16h ago

Well for one thing sloths are known to eat feces and sometimes need fished out of outhouses. Id wash my hands.

29

u/thedifferenceisnt 16h ago

Cats and dogs are known for the same

41

u/BatatinhaGameplays28 15h ago

Yeah, you’re supposed to wash your hands after interacting with them too

But also sloths can carry parisites such as lices and ticks

16

u/dimmak 12h ago

Louse is to lice what mouse is to mice.

10

u/BatatinhaGameplays28 10h ago

Thanks for the information! English isn’t my first language and I really never heard that

8

u/Buttonskill 8h ago

Well, it is my first language, and until today, I thought the singular was a 1950s unemployed husband in Chicago.

3

u/alexnedea 1h ago

Bro if I wash my hands every time i interract with my cat id be spending industrial quantities of water and soap.

2

u/BatatinhaGameplays28 34m ago

That's fair lol, I'd recommend just washing them if you're gonna grab food or interact with someone else then

12

u/Azreal_Mistwalker 13h ago

There are species of moths and algae that grow exclusively on sloth fur.

23

u/OnceMoreAndAgain 14h ago edited 13h ago

Most mammals clean their hair/fur to avoid investation, but sloths only groom their fur by stroking their claws through it to untangle the fur and remove debris and large insects. No moisture involved. They don't groom each other like monkeys do nor do they bathe. The only water touching their fur is rain water, basically.

So their fur ends up being home for algae and small bugs. If you look up pictures of sloths that aren't in captivity, then their fur will often have large patches of green color to them which is the algae and fungi. It gives them a natural camouflage since the particular algae and fungi growing on the trees they climb also end up growing in their fur so they get perfect color matching to their environment. That's why different sloths have different colors of green on their fur.

37

u/Puzzleheaded-Block73 16h ago

Hmmmm, honest question: if I tell you Asmongold = Sloth would that be enough of an explanation?

26

u/ItsaMeSandy 16h ago

Damn. I'd amputate at that point.

14

u/leonden 15h ago

Sloth natural defence is being flithy and moldy so yea just wash your hands nothing good can come from touching one

1

u/icansmellcolors 11h ago

Chlamydia and they have many parasites that live in their fur, but they're mostly harmless, but no thank you.

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589

u/[deleted] 17h ago

[removed] — view removed comment

87

u/Prior-Dependent- 17h ago

Sometimes the smallest gestures mean the most to someone.

23

u/BeeSpibbleBlop 16h ago

Yeah, like giving that baby sloth to that hungry adult sloth for a meal. And then they were like, cool, fist bump.

3

u/Embarrassed-Boot8485 15h ago

😭😂😂😂

29

u/Commercial_Bird8467 16h ago

Their blink even takes 3 seconds. Lol

5

u/SoungaTepes 15h ago

Sloths climb to the base of trees to poop, the baby was likely pooping

646

u/ohdatpoodle 16h ago

Sloths are kind of assholes, and their vision is completely upside down - she was swatting at him to back off but is just so painfully slow and not well coordinated when positioned upright so it comes across as an awkward handshake. Do you see how quickly she hauled slothass to scooch down the tree to her baby??? She was not thanking this man.

343

u/VocalJay 15h ago

No matter how many times you tell people not to humanize wild animals and especially not to fcking touch them, they will still do it, cause some damage to the enviroment or just do something that isn't even remotely necessary, and continue to feel good about it because of the "good deed" they did

16

u/ConnectRutabaga3925 13h ago

what if we take a video and play soft guitar music while showing the sloth threatening to gouge the guy’s face

80

u/Both_Consequence_956 15h ago

we have an obese cat epidemic. i have lost faith in human treatment or theory of mind of animals long ago lol

22

u/glyph_productions 15h ago

LMFAO you're right but also I just got a mental image of a bunch of Garfield sized cats on treadmills in oversized t-shirts and I would like this to be the next season of the biggest loser, please and thank you

3

u/Carpeted_Bathroom2 12h ago

Once got in an argument regarding a dog biting someone and they blamed the dog. I said the dog didn't do anything wrong, its just a dog and gave warning signs that were ignored before biting and dogs are ultimately the owner's responsibility. I was told I was victim blaming lol. Just doubled down on the anthropomorphizing.

1

u/Dull_Quit3027 4h ago

you are right in that the whole an animal sitting around after being rescued, is most often just because they are completely exhausted, but not touching is very situational, I saw a video of some dude saving a racoon today, and it was touching him, and I doubt it is causing damage to the environment in any way.

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33

u/Caftancatfan 15h ago

“You don’t understand! I’m hurting you!”

16

u/twelfth_knight 13h ago

They're slow, but I've heard they'll fuck you up with those claws if you give them the chance. As in like, their swiping motion is way faster than anything else they do. That's what adults always told my dad when he was growing up in Manaus anyway. But idk, it could be they just say that so kids aren't dicks to animals 🤷

9

u/ohdatpoodle 8h ago

I interned at a zoo with a two-toed sloth who was hand-raised in captivity from birth. He was the nicest sloth anyone at the zoo had ever met...and he still took a huge bite at the education director's arm. They're slow until they suddenly are not.

6

u/khaisquared 8h ago

Reminds of that reddit vid of that guy helping a sloth across the street and its limbs reach backwards and stafts clawing and I think tried to bite him

edit: found video: https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/1smxqy5/helping_a_sloth_cross_the_road/

1

u/closethebarn 2h ago

Holy shit thank you for this. I bet he will never do that again.

37

u/Vitruvian_Link 15h ago

Yup, Everytime one of these videos comes up, we are trying to tell folks "showing your claws is not a sign of gratitude."

This is the first time I've seen a comment acknowledging this up voted! Yay!

6

u/unf0rgottn 12h ago

Hauled slothass sent me. 10/10 description.

1

u/azure-heavens 9h ago

I thought maybe she was blind as heck and thought his little hand was a sloth baby. Like uh... when you look for your phone, but you're already holding it up to your ear.

50

u/Emperor-Nerd 15h ago
  1. Baby sloth was probably trying to poop

  2. I'm 99% sure both mama and baby tried to claw him

359

u/xand3s 17h ago

Oblivious, ignorant people, this is not thanking him, this sloth is stressed and is in defensive posture trying to appear larger.

77

u/ohdatpoodle 16h ago

She was probably trying to claw/swat at him telling him to back away and he interpreted as a handshake. Poor girl.

55

u/The_Paleking 16h ago

Have you ever been around sloths?

She hasn't even brandished her pistol yet. That is the first thing any sloth would do when threatened. Clearly not in self-defense mode.

107

u/JustDuckiest 17h ago

Thank you lol, I was looking for this comment. Sloths are not human and do not have the same body language as us

3

u/vetlemakt 12h ago

I know a few human sloths, so not quite true.

15

u/FluffyBootie 15h ago

Social media 101 - everyone will believe a headline/caption if it seems plausible

People are getting dumber despite the overwhelming ability to access knowledge

Darker times are ahead if we don't stop our quest for anti-intellectualism

9

u/xoxodaddysgirlxoxo 13h ago

You're not wrong. FFS, the sloth baby isn't even in any danger - human just took the opportunity to touch wildlife

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175

u/ReadersAreRedditors 17h ago edited 16h ago

Did the sloth even need rescuing? Mom was pretty close. She would of got there......eventually.

56

u/Habaneroe12 16h ago

They go to the ground to take a crap it’s a normal thing

70

u/stevendidntsay 16h ago

Poor baby was 2 days climb away.

3

u/Blessed_tenrecs 13h ago

When baby sloths fall there is about a 50/50 chance of the mother abandoning them because she doesn't have the energy to go get them. Idk if this baby was old enough to climb back up, but if not, 50/50 chance he saved its life.

1

u/Prestigious_Leg2229 16h ago

Sloth’s don’t retrieve their babies if they fall.

5

u/LocodraTheCrow 14h ago

Source? If they don't why was she already climbing down?

3

u/Blessed_tenrecs 13h ago

They do sometimes. It's about 50/50.

-5

u/Dear-Magazine-532 16h ago

Did the cub (i don't know how kid sloths are called) need rescuing? No. Did he save mom and child from unnecessary stress? yes he did

24

u/romansparta99 15h ago

From most other comments it sounds like he put the mother and child in a lot of unnecessary stress

97

u/TheCleverMoose 16h ago

This is not a thank you; it is an attempt to intimidate you.

Since the internet has become more accessible, people have become less intelligent. This is a concept taught in elementary school textbooks that you would have had access to.

28

u/concrete_isnt_cement 15h ago

I don’t think my elementary school textbooks had much sloth lore in them, although to be fair, I did grow up in a part of the world not known for its abundance of sloths

37

u/OsageDaito 16h ago

This a bad idea. The scratch or bite of a sloth is deadly without medical attention.

18

u/donutgiraffe 15h ago

Yeah they can move really fast when they have to, they grab on hard, and they bite. Not a good idea to go anywhere near one.

13

u/successadult 15h ago

My friends came back from Costa Rica and said that they were warned to stay away from the sloths because even being near one was dangerous.

Someone at their hotel told them that her husband walked by one and had a flea jump on him and bite him and he ended up needing daily injections for over a month to prevent all the diseases that insects can carry there.

3

u/SuckmydickJoannF 14h ago

I met a guy in Costa Rica who's hand looked like someone threw acid on it. When he was a kid he was playing with a sloth and it nipped him. It did NOT break the skin. Theyre cute bacteria monsters. There's even a species of mosquito that only lives on sloths.

1

u/EmotionalAnt4335 10h ago

People really underestimate how dangerous wild animals can be even when they look calm.

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17

u/Agency_Traditional 16h ago

When sloths throw punches it’s often misinterpreted

30

u/KingOfThe_Jelly_Fish 17h ago

I've also seen a video of someone trying to get one of these across a road and getting mauled.

5

u/Jons_Gurlie 16h ago

Was it in slow motion?

2

u/Jaded_Jarvis 16h ago

Haha was looking for this comment

9

u/chucky6661 14h ago

Rescue from what?

12

u/Karyoplasma 13h ago

Pooping in peace.

7

u/Virus-Scary 16h ago

That's a good clip of what it looks like when a momma sloth tries to rip your face off to protect her young

6

u/letsseeitmore 14h ago

Interrupted its poop.

6

u/nize426 12h ago

I believe they climb down to the base to poop. It wasn't even that far from its mother. Don't bother wild animals.

6

u/TheGrandCucumber 7h ago

Public service announcement: Sloth claws are incredibly sharp be careful around them

7

u/Alarmed_Scientist_15 16h ago

I say it was giving him the middle finger (or nail in that case).

6

u/b-dizl 15h ago

Sloth Mother is the name of my power metal band.

5

u/Sariduri 11h ago

I loved these animals, I believed they were the cutest! then visited Costa Rica and saw the amount of bugs, parasites and literal shit on top of them and... Still love them, would never ever everrrrrrr touch one.

1

u/closethebarn 2h ago

Nor help one cross the road…

6

u/african_or_european 10h ago

No one will ever convince me sloths aren't just poorly made animatronics.

4

u/ChocolateCoveredGold 15h ago

I'm convince this is what the giant ground sloth was like during the pleistocene epoch. Nobody contradict me with "facts." I want to imagine a giant ground sloth who gives amazing hugs and chases off any giant, flying hell beasts that might threaten my adventures through time and space.

4

u/FlyNo1502 13h ago

Here we go again. In typical Reddit fashion: don't touch wild animal unless you want a bleeding anus. 

11

u/Lopsided_Soup_3533 15h ago

BTW a sloth reaching out is not them thanking anyone its a stress , defensive move by the sloth. Sorry to be Debbie downer but its true

4

u/Ok-Seaworthiness5230 6h ago

So stupid for him to touch that claw

3

u/EffectiveDandy 11h ago

Still remember that one guy that tried to “save” one crossing a road and it just pissed it off so it attacked him lol. Their hooked claws are formidable and they are actually insanely strong!

4

u/kenrock2 10h ago

The sloth basically saying.. Stranger.. Food.. Not bye bye.. 😂

4

u/Acceptable-Act-1293 11h ago

Damn that guys hands magically became black

2

u/ryguythescienceguy89 16h ago

Stinky cute...thing...

2

u/GnarlyNarwhalNoms 14h ago

There's a sloth emoji now!!! 😍 When did that happen!?  🦥🦥🦥🦥

2

u/Unpopular_Opinion859 14h ago

Anyone know what song that is in the background?

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2

u/Nearby-Swimming-5103 11h ago

“Wooooo hooooooo!”

2

u/Motiv8-2-Gr8 11h ago

I love this sub

2

u/DANILO2425 9h ago

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

2

u/atkahu 5h ago

I think she want to craw him savagely but because she is a slot she is too slow for that and just look like a handshake.

4

u/icansmellcolors 11h ago

You want chlamydia? Cause that's how you get chlamydia.

5

u/Sleeping_Blade 8h ago

Don't know why you got downvoted, what you said is actually true 🤣

4

u/fan_tas_tic 17h ago

henlo hooman

2

u/SmittyWerbenTheGreat 15h ago

I hope Kristen Bell sees this. She'll be so happy.

2

u/piss_fish 10h ago

I would be able to die in peace if I got to shake a sloths hand

2

u/Intelligent_Ice_947 9h ago

How touching 🥰🥰

0

u/[deleted] 17h ago

[deleted]

9

u/raddishesits 15h ago

The cute blessing of "GET AWAY GO AWAY HE DIDN'T NEED HELP NOW HE HAS TO CLIMB DOWN AGAIN JERK"

3

u/kinetic_ljs 15h ago

Sloths are awesome!!!

2

u/Rboyfriendsenemy 10h ago

She ask you to become a part of her family

2

u/Legitimate_Spirit834 14h ago

"Now pick us both up, please!" :)

1

u/Snoo_98156 16h ago

They look so wise idk

1

u/PastShine7597 16h ago

The guitar cover of the psychotic Hillsong United song does not fit the vibes.

1

u/Hell_Maybe 15h ago

Slothed

1

u/WelchesOtaku 15h ago

🪄✨️awwweeeeeee✨️🥰

1

u/puddl3 15h ago

Baby sloths are some of the cutest animals ever

1

u/Snicklefried 14h ago

Thank....

1

u/ImaginaryAnimator416 13h ago

Now you give me money, yes?

1

u/evaderofallbans 13h ago

That's dangerous! Sloths have killed more than a dozen people since time began, probably.

1

u/RuckaR 13h ago

Some reason sloths reminds me of Daryl Dixon.

1

u/987nevertry 11h ago

I saw a sloth drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic’s

2

u/HBKnight 9h ago

And his hair was perfect

1

u/ToughCarpenter5547 9h ago

🦥🦥🦥🦥

1

u/kgaf999 5h ago

I would love to hold the sloth just once

1

u/9zmike 3h ago

I've seen a slot fight someone... These things are just pretentious! They could be freaking fast!!

1

u/382-SuPia 1h ago

He has a good heart

1

u/Nyxtician 41m ago

She waa very calm, I've seen video on when they are threatened they latch on and could maul you, they can be really fast when threatened

1

u/Centaur_of-Attention 15h ago

Plot twist, it was trying to cut him. /s

6

u/Weevil_1984 15h ago

It… was

1

u/Real_Live_Sloth 15h ago

It probably abandoned it in hopes of getting away from them.

1

u/EveningArmadillo5429 14h ago

It boggles my mind that some people treat animals as if they were less than us, when stuff like this is so easy to find.

We say it about Homo sapiens, but it would do us good to remember that, on this planet, we are ALL more alike than different

0

u/[deleted] 15h ago edited 8h ago

[deleted]

3

u/SuckmydickJoannF 14h ago

There's a shit ton of information on how these animals work, and the Internet exists. If you use your little internet browser, you can even look up these facts.

1

u/Happy-House-9453 14h ago

Most animals are insanely protective over their young. To the point where the instinct to protect would override damn near any other form of higher level cognitive action. So no; this sloth is not saying thank you.

1

u/Ruenin 16h ago

Oh, it's a three-toed sloth. A two-toed sloth would've had your ass.

1

u/WhatsaRedditsdo 16h ago

Hard life named after sin

1

u/JonesinforJonesey 15h ago

Even all covered in bugs that Mum is as adorable as her baby. Sloths have the sweetest faces.

1

u/JustaLego 15h ago

I didn't see a thankyou I just saw a edit to him gently yanking against the claw of mom.

1

u/Asleep_Assignment755 15h ago

Every time I see a video of these guys I wonder how they have survived as a species. Must not taste very good 😂

10

u/mystyz 15h ago

I guess you missed that video of the guy being attacked by a sloth. Don't let the stereotypes fool you. I wouldn't want to tangle with one of them.

1

u/Asleep_Assignment755 13h ago

Must Google immediately. Have not seen

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