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u/Little_Messiah 19h ago
I got them against my will with my first daughters birth and was not informed till after the doctor was done sewing me up.
Edit: this was 2013. It wasn’t even “history” it’s happening still today regularly
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u/pm_me_domme_pics 19h ago
How did the doctor inform you? Did they think they were doing you a favor?
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u/Little_Messiah 19h ago
She was like “you needed nine stitches but I gave you eleven” then looked at my partner and WINKED at him
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u/kinkysubt John Brown was a hero, undaunted, true, and brave! 19h ago
I would have lost my shit.
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u/PassivelyInvisible 18h ago
If you didn't ask for it and didn't need it, wouldn't that be grounds for a medical malpractice suit?
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u/UrdnotZigrin 18h ago
I'd sure as shit be talking to an attorney to find out
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u/Bormanov 16h ago
We talked about it almost a decade after the procedure. We started to have sex again after half a year. My first thought wasn't :"Someone tampered with my wife coohie" but "whelp - who knows what happens to female's body after first birth 🤔🤔"
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u/Bormanov 16h ago
We would have to start an inquiry years later. I don't think he put anything about it in any sort of official document.
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u/Live_Angle4621 16h ago
It would be hard to prove that she said that (and you could not prove she winked certainly) or what the number of stitches actually needed would be. If she needed none and got some it would be possible to prove maybe
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u/Angry_Scotsman7567 16h ago
Given how they often make sex incredibly painful for the mother, yes. Yes it would.
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u/Alone_Contract_2354 14h ago
Legally it is malpractise can be negligence, battery or even condidered sexual assault
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u/Agamemnon323 18h ago
As the male partner there would be hell to pay.
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u/Bormanov 17h ago
You find out much later. They don't always inform you.
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u/JohannesJoshua 13h ago
What a wonderful night to learn more about man-made horrors and turrning into Solomon when he wrote Ecclesiastes.
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u/Bocchi_theGlock 14h ago
I'm surprised people don't return to the medical center with a loaded firearm after this happening.
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u/-meowstar- 19h ago
from a female doctor too 🥀
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u/Little_Messiah 18h ago
That’s the worst part
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u/Kaarl_Mills Filthy weeb 18h ago
There's a saying of "Skinfolk ain't always kinfolk" but I'm not sure how to make one that gets the same message with gender but also have it rhyme
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u/Maligetzus Descendant of Genghis Khan 18h ago
lasses are sometimes asses
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u/Frost-Folk 18h ago
Gals aren't always pals
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u/UrdnotZigrin 18h ago
Vaginas are sometimes assholes. It doesn't rhyme, but I figure it fits
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u/Regdit-is-Unbearable 17h ago edited 16h ago
Wow, none of them were great but yours takes the cake. What you wrote is absolutely terrible.
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u/KappnCrunch 18h ago
Is that not malpractice?
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u/CadenVanV Taller than Napoleon 15h ago
It is, but it’s hard to prove because it’s a tiny number of stitches and there’s no way they said it anywhere that a camera could have caught it
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u/Champomi Filthy weeb 19h ago
Couldn't you ask her to unsew the last two?
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u/Little_Messiah 18h ago
I had no deadening and didn’t want any more pain.
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u/SnooDoodles12 18h ago
Im curious, did the extra stitches feel any different to you?
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u/Little_Messiah 18h ago
No, because all it stitches is the opening, so besides having to rip over again a little
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u/melancholanie 17h ago
I would have sued the medical license and pants off of that monster oh my god
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u/Little_Messiah 17h ago
In retrospect I should have but I was a scared teen
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u/SopotSPA 16h ago
At least find her on Google maps and rate 1 star if she has a private practice… it’s almost nothing but maybe one person will be saved from it…
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u/melancholanie 16h ago
I don't wanna get my account flagged for inciting violence but uh
it would be terrible if someone found out who this creep is and reappropriated his kneecaps. definitely don't wish the worst for him and hope he ends up underneath a prison
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u/cynicalsuzie 17h ago
IT WAS A WOMAN?! Bet you she would’ve lost her shit if that was done to her without her consent, but she’s perfectly fine doing it to other women.
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u/ThroawayJimilyJones 16h ago
"I have a vagina, i imagined how it would feel and it doesn't sound so bad"
Same logic that the female gym coach going "i have period and i still do sport, so don't pretend you're agonizing and climb that damn rope !"
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u/REsTARteD_Ragdoll 18h ago
And you sued for 10 million dollars right?
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u/Little_Messiah 18h ago
I wish. Because I was already being sewn I can’t sue for excessive sewing
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u/REsTARteD_Ragdoll 18h ago
She looked you in the eye and admitted to medical malpractice “you needed nine - but I gave you 11”
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u/Little_Messiah 18h ago
She can argue it was for extra stability
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u/REsTARteD_Ragdoll 17h ago
“Then looked at my partner and WINKED at him”
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u/TheTrueSauceBot 17h ago
It’s all he said she said in court and wouldn’t necessarily hold up.
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u/Little_Messiah 17h ago
He won’t back me up, he’s far away from me and my daughter. And good riddance. I was 19 having a baby with a man almost 40.
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u/CadenVanV Taller than Napoleon 15h ago
There’s no proof. It’s a he said, she said situation, and odds are they’re going to go with the doctor. Unless they had a camera out recording it that they didn’t tell us about
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u/AgreeablePie 17h ago
That's fine but you have to demonstrate damages for a civil suit.
Could this be a report to the board of medicine? Yes. But the actual damages (courts hate "emotional distress" and don't value transitory pain much) are very small.
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u/vielljaguovza 17h ago
I feel like this isn't the case for non consentual body modification though. Like, if someone went in for lipo and had 2 ribs removed but were otherwise fine that would still be a lawsuit for nonconsentual body modification even though you might not have demonstrable damages. Its a breach of contract and previously agreed upon terms.
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u/JooseTheGuice 19h ago
No, he thought he was doing the husband a favor, hence the name "husband stitches". The well-being of the woman is not taken into account, only the potential for the husband's future pleasure.
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u/wumbopower 19h ago
Mmm yeah I love my lady uncomfortable/in severe pain during sex! Thanks doc!
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u/pm-ur-knockers 17h ago
If she’s not crying and begging me to stop because it hurts, then I don’t want it.
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u/ForodesFrosthammer Senātus Populusque Rōmānus 18h ago
The fact its a female doctor really illustrates the pervasiveness of such views in society. Its sad.
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u/UrdnotZigrin 18h ago
You missed the more fucked up part, which I initially missed as well. The doctor was a she
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u/Low-Plane9029 16h ago
When my wife was getting stitched up a informed that Doctor that my wife wanted me to make sure she didn't get a honey moon stitch. The doctor was offended that I would even think they would do that.
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u/Biosterous 11h ago
With the birth of my first I had a husband stitch joke locked and ready. I took one look at the Oby stitching up my partner and thought better of it. No joke is worth getting kicked out of the hospital.
Edit: my partner told the oby after I left "he didn't even get to make his husband stitch joke". The doctor looked her dead in the eyes and said "that's not funny". Sometimes my senses lead me right.
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u/HMOFA_Enjoyer 18h ago
I.. how is that not like an instant medical malpractis lawsuit
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u/FalconRelevant Senātus Populusque Rōmānus 16h ago
Sometimes they even circumcise infants without the consent of their parents.
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u/d3m0cracy Mauser rifle ≠ Javelin 16h ago
holy shit that’s horrible, i’m so sorry
doctors who do this to people should lose their fucking jobs at minimum
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u/MichelinStarZombie 14h ago
They'll continue doing it if no one sues them. Progress is only made through the courts.
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u/funWITHfoulplay 9h ago
My partner and I had a similar experience. The delivery doctor with our first, did the additional sutures without asking. Her healing took longer and was far more uncomfortable for her. Additionally, after she was "healed", intimacy was not fun for some time. I told her new OB that if he even thought about it I'd knock him out cold right there in the delivery room. Oddly he seemed to like me a lot more after that.
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u/Kaiser8414 20h ago
Context?
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u/palaceexile 20h ago
After childbirth, if surgery was needed, a doctor would add more stiches than necessary to make things tighter.
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u/Dangerous-Project672 19h ago
This was part of the Godfather novel that wisely got left out of the movie.
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u/OneofTheOldBreed 18h ago
As a side note to anyone else, there is a dump truck worth of stuff thats in the novel but not in the movie. Virtually all of it for very good reasons. Like why the big shot movie producer muses to Hagan about why he likes horses so much: he suspects he is part Cossack, that his grandmother was raped during one of the pograms that forced his family to move to America.Honestedly, the Godfather is one of those rare situations where the book is notably inferior to the movie.
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u/dallasrose222 18h ago
Yeah it’s that and jaws that are the big examples
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u/Combat_Armor_Dougram 18h ago
And probably Forrest Gump as well.
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u/SatanVapesOn666W 18h ago
Didn't the author write a nonsense equal because he hated the movie and didn't want it to be adaptable?
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u/Mecca_Lecca_Hi 18h ago
He hated that he didn’t get any money from the movie apart from the modest sum he got for selling the rights or whatever. IIRC.
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u/SatanVapesOn666W 18h ago
Ahh, same as the Witcher guy.
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u/OneofTheOldBreed 18h ago
CD Project resettled with the OG author and the man is now on board
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u/RenseBenzin 10h ago
Not quite, iirc the Forrest Gump Guy lost out on a lot of money because of Hollywood accounting, the Witcher guy was actually offered a percentage of the sales but he had no faith in the adaptation.
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u/Wolfensniper Rider of Rohan 6h ago edited 6h ago
Also the whole Oscar orgy scene was cut, maybe because Hollywood was really unhappy about that
I didnt remember if the scene that strongly hint that producer was a pedo was cut too
Death scenes are also more brutal in the novels, almost everyone got strangled had... well, let go a lot of things in their intestines.
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u/EatPie_NotWAr 19h ago
I don’t remember there being a part about the husband stitch. I do remember Sonny’s lover being able to be satisfied by his ginormous meat-beast because she had a pelvic floor dysfunction.
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u/Dangerous-Project672 17h ago edited 15h ago
It was connected to the same story line. After Sonny gets gunned down Lucy does other things (it’s been 25 years and I don’t remember the details, please forgive) and she eventually has a surgery.
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u/Connect-Amoeba3618 19h ago
I don’t understand how this isn’t captured under existing FGM legislation and therefore incredibly illegal.
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u/speedfox_uk 17h ago
I would imagine that they need to give the doctors some amount of leeway when they're putting people back together.
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u/MazerBakir 16h ago edited 14h ago
It's NOT a regular practice and never was. Any doctor that knows the basic science behind sutures knows that "extra stitches" do not tighten anything. It's part urban legend. An "extra stitch" won't be as catastrophic as many make it out to be as well, the results won't be optimal but most of the supposed problems caused by "husband stitches" is probably a combination of tears, episiotomy and overzealous repair rather than "extra stitches".
This isn't fabric, stitches are either removed or in the case of episiotomies absorbable sutures are used. Unbroken skin can't simply be attached together either. "Stitches" are used to keep the two pieces of tissue in close proximity until they naturally heal back together. It's done so they do attach back together or if it would heal anyways stitches are used to keep the scarring minimal, a smaller defect being filled up by fibrosis compared to a larger gap. There are some cases where non-absorbable sutures are left in place, perineal tear repair isn't one of them. The stitches are also side by side along the cut or tear. An extra stitch doesn't tighten anything. You use as many stitches as is necessary to keep the wound edges together.
In other words if any doctor has done "husband stitches" they should get their license revoked not just for ethical reasons but also for not knowing the very basics of suturing that are taught in the first years of medical school.
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u/TonyAllenDelhomme 14h ago
When I try and tell people how patients and families rewrite their medical history, I use the myth of the husband stitch as evidence. And these patients believe their stories, but they flat out didn’t happen. They had scar tissue, pain after labor, possibly excessive stitching etc., but surgeons understand that you can’t stitch two pieces of tissue together to make something “tighter.”
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u/Wookieman222 1h ago
I always wondered that about this myth. I could never get how you could stich 2 prices of random flesh together.
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u/Talib00n 19h ago
Jesus Steppdancing Christ, what the fuck was wrong with those people. Fuck
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u/GrandMoffTarkan 18h ago
First time I every heard of this was when our Obgyn said she wouldn't do them
It was little disconcerting, like if your plumber said "Don't worry I won't come back to your house and murder your family." Like, thanks, but WHY DO YOU NEED TO CLARIFY THAT
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u/Sorry-Bluejay3658 10h ago
Probably because there are people who still ask for it these days..
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u/mankytoes 19h ago
Feels like extreme kink, not some random medical practice.
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u/Astecheee 15h ago
IMO kink stops when somebody is permanently injured. Then its abuse regardless of consent.
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u/Whatisforkknife 18h ago
Im my country there are women who ask for it. I know one she is very happy with the results. But i also know some who get it unconsensual those seem to be painful cases.
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u/UrdnotZigrin 18h ago
If the patient consents and asks for it specifically, there's obviously no problem. The fact that it still happens so commonly without consent or even prior knowledge is disgusting
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u/wolfgangspiper Filthy weeb 18h ago
As with everything consent is the most important thing. Always.
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u/CreamofTazz 18h ago
Why can't doctors leave people's genitals alone? Why are they so eager to take a blade or sharp object to them? Man, woman, boy, or girl why are they all so eager to mess with people's sensitive parts?
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u/Human-Edge7966 18h ago
Interestingly enough, they seem mostly interested in doing it when the patient isn't being consulted.
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u/CreamofTazz 18h ago
Oh yeah Mom is passed out from pushing a melon out of her? Great perfect time to give her extra stitches that she can't refute.
Newborn boy that we've yet to conger bodily autonomy to? Perfect! Let's cut off his foreskin now since he won't remember the pain!
Like ew gross what is wrong with people
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u/Human-Edge7966 18h ago
And also attempts to repair intersex conditions in babies, sometimes without even telling the parents about it.
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u/CreamofTazz 18h ago
I knew I was forgetting one more group that's gets their genitals cut up by doctors
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u/hematite2 17h ago
Oh it's not just blades and stitches! Up until very recently hospitals used to use unconscious women (and others, but mostly women) as free genital examination practice for students/residents, without their knowledge or consent!
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u/CreamofTazz 17h ago
This is the kind of shit that gets people to be anti modern medicine.
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u/hematite2 17h ago
I checked the dates and it was only in 2024 that it became official HHS policy that you have to get explicit and separate permission for this. I knew at least one woman who had that consent included as part of her standard medical waiver when she had to go to university hospital.
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u/CreamofTazz 16h ago
There are probably countless women would be 100% willing to do it to help nascent doctors, so why would they ever feel the need to do it in unconscious people? Is it really that difficult to find a woman who's willing to be a "live dummy"? Why a waiver would include "we can perform on you while you're unconscious" is beyond me, and I can't understand what's so hard for these doctors to just ask for consent
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u/CluelessPresident 14h ago
I wouldn't be surprised if they simply liked doing it against the women's will/without their knowledge.
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u/hematite2 13h ago
From what I remember about the research on this, it's actually unsurprisingly difficult to find people willing to have their genitals messed with and talked about for a room of strangers if they're not getting some medical benefit from it. But it would take time and outreach to find volunteers, or it would take money to pay subjects. So just use whatever women you happen to have on hand! Their comfort and consent is less important and what they don't know can't hurt them.
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u/PublicProfanities 19h ago edited 15h ago
People and drs say this doesn't happen, but it happened to me.
Later a dr was like, no that's a myth.
Then when I insisted she examine me because I still have issues, she told me it was scar tissue.
Went to a different Dr and was immediately told "Yes, he added too many stitches and it didnt heal correctly so you know have a lot of scar tissue."
Edit to add: it can be fixed but insurance considers it a cosmetic surgery... even though I still tear to this day.
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u/00Koch00 19h ago
Is possible to get that fixed? Or is just a life ruining procedure?
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u/EatPie_NotWAr 18h ago
Yeah, it can be reversed. It involves removing the scar tissue and surgically correcting the over-stitching.
I looked this up like 6 months ago because of a different post
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u/Acceptingoptimist 16h ago
Sorry I'm just now learning about this. I watched both my daughters get born. There was a lot tearing and sutchering. I actually watched her get sewn up while I held my daughter for the second one and she did amazing work based on what it looked like after the kiddo came out. She ended up with some scarring. Her OBGYN is a gay woman, so I don't think there was anything weird going on. How does someone know if they've had this done versus they just had a lot of damage?
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u/EatPie_NotWAr 13h ago
The most likely sign that I know of is postpartum sex pain. It’s expected to maybe not feel great (or even outright hurt) at first but this pain would be to an unexpected degree and wouldn’t change/reduce over time as the body fully heals.
Additionally, there would be a lack of the natural elasticity you find within most healthy vaginas.
If:
A) there hasn’t been unexpected pain for your wife
And/or
B) your wife’s doc was/is a decent person, outside of even being a decent doc, then she’s likely fine and merely had the appropriate number put in.
One thing to note (learned from my kids births) natural tearing is one of the healthiest ways for a woman to tear (should it need to happen during birth) as it occurs at the skins naturally occurring weak spots. This may lead to it tearing more than your or I would expect, or more than had the doc put a cut in place, but it typically heals better and faster. And when I say natural this is not referring to anything outside of the vaginal tearing, not inducement, epidurals etc.
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u/savethebros 18h ago
Is possible to get that fixed?
yes, if you have money
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u/TravisKOP Kilroy was here 17h ago
It’s not covered by insurance either as it’s deemed cosmetic.
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u/PublicProfanities 15h ago
I just edited my post to include this info...I tried and was told the same thing
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u/Positive-Draft3801 19h ago
Im not trying to be an asshole here, but I gotta ask. How do you know the doctor did it on purpose? Im not a doctor, but I can imagine it wouldn't be that hard to over stitch when the alternative is not stitching enough. Did the second doctor tell you why the first added too many stitches?
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u/blindedbysparkles 18h ago
The only alternative should be putting in the amount of stitches that are actually needed, no more, no less. A doctor shouldn't be a doctor if they lack that kind of knowledge
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u/Positive-Draft3801 18h ago
Right I agree, doing things correctly 100% of the time is ideal, especially for doctors. That has not actually been my experience with doctors, however. I doubt any of the mistakes the made on my body were intentional; but I have to live with those mistakes anyways. What im asking about is the intention of the doctor, and how that commenter knows it was intentional. That seems like malpractice to me, but im not an expert.
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u/blindedbysparkles 18h ago
If a doctor makes a mistake that causes injury to a patient it's malpractice regardless of if it was intentional or not. So in this case the first doctor added too many stitches which was malpractice by itself, and since there is basically no other actual reason for that kind of action and the husband stitch practice is widespread it was most likely intentional
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u/Sarasin 12h ago
Alright you just don't know what malpractice is, that is fine but this confidentially incorrect shit is kinda silly come on. Honest, reasonable mistakes are not malpractice. No human can ever guarantee to never make a mistake, malpractice is very different. If an honest mistake is made every effort possible should be made to make repair any and all damage but it isn't the kind of negligence or malice that denotes malpractice.
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u/FoolishPippin 13h ago
Just so you know in no way shape or form is that malpractice and you would be laughed out of any law office for saying so. There is no way for that physician to determine the additional stitch was absolutely not indicated and the result of the scaring. They were just saying that to make you feel better.
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u/Trackback_ 17h ago
How do you know exactly how many stiches are needed for completely different people though?
Is there some formula that assumes that every single woman's body is exactly identical?
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u/garghlrl 17h ago
The only alternative should be putting in the amount of stitches that are actually needed, no more, no less.
You've got a very simplistic view of how surgery works. There are a lot of judgment calls on the surgeon's part.
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u/Maximum_Pollution371 16h ago
Historically, it was a very common procedure to "over-stitch" that area after birth, although it wasn't necessarily mainly for the benefit of the husband (though that might have been seen as a "bonus"). There was a variety of reasoning behind it, ranging from "strengthening" the perineum to making it look "prettier," but ultimately all of the reasons weren't based in any kind of evidence and it does far more harm than good. Here's a Healthline article and some relevant selections: https://www.healthline.com/health-news/husband-stitch-is-not-just-myth#Moving-beyond-the-husband-stitch
Quote from Dr. Robert Barbieri, chair of obstetrics and gynecology and reproductive biology at Brigham and Women’s Hospital in Boston:
“What they thought is that if they did a routine episiotomy, they’d have a chance to repair it and that during the repair, they could actually create a better perineum than if they hadn’t done it. The idea [was] that we could ‘tighten things up.’”
Appearance-based reasoning:
[One] study, looking at the use of routine episiotomies in Cambodia, found that the belief that "women would be able to have a tighter and prettier vagina" was a reason given by providers for routine episiotomy. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/26278834
At least one incident of it being called a "husband stitch" by a provider:
In La Marque, Texas, mother Tamara Williams, 27, found out she’d been given a husband stitch after her 2015 birth when her boyfriend mentioned it. He thought he’d heard the birth center midwife say she’d "throw in an extra stitch for him,” winking. He didn’t know what to say or do when the statement was made, and Williams was on such a “baby high” she has no memory of it. But knowing it was done to her is hurtful, despite the good relationship she still maintains with her midwife.
And addressing your question more directly:
[...] it’s complicated to know what was needed, what was intended, and whether a postpartum body is the subject of a joke or a procedure. Neither Cooper nor Tillman have ever seen another provider put in an unnecessary stitch, although Cooper said she has heard “husbands ask for an ‘extra stitch for him’ when his wife’s perineum was being repaired.”
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u/TripleScoops 13h ago
I've seen the Healthline article before, it gets shared a lot when this subject comes up. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't believe any of the cases that they talk about were verified by a medical professional and the professionals they do interview state they've never seen an example of one.
Not saying this has never happened, it's just that there is very little evidence of this ever being a common practice stateside. I mean, I don't want to be wrong about something so barbaric, but I'm open to info I may not know.
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u/PublicProfanities 15h ago
He may not have done it on purpose, but he did cut me without telling me or asking me and cut me deep and long. And I had bp 160/100 and headaches and blurry and spotted vision, and he acted like I was dramatic until I had seizures.
Considering those other factors, I'm inclined to believe he was just a shit dr. It was my first pregnancy and I was young and hadn't really began advocating for myself the way I do now.
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u/CitrusDaydreams 18h ago
Idk bro malpractice seems more likely than accidentally completing multiple subsequent stitches. Its not like cartoon knitting where they rub the needles together and it's done.
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u/Bormanov 17h ago
I wasn't informed, and I'm the husband! Doc just did the stitch, and when we returned to sexing months later we were both cofused why it's painful for my wife. Wtf.
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u/SpphosFriend 13h ago
“The husband stitch” is fucking vile and we should be putting anyone doing them in prison and taking their licenses.
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u/KinsellaStella 19h ago edited 19h ago
This is still going on, it’s not a relic of the past.
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u/Representative_Toe79 19h ago
Actually happened to my wife after she gave birth to our first kid. I didn't even understand what the fuck the doc meant when he turned to me and said "gave you something extra to enjoy later" because frankly I had no idea this was a thing.
Fast forward a few months my wife tells me sex hurts now and after a visit to ANOTHER doctor we found out what the fuck that was. Horrific shit.
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u/AntManCrawledInAnus 19h ago
Please tell me you sued the fuck out of first doctor
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u/Representative_Toe79 19h ago
I wanted to, my wife didn't want to deal with it. I told her it was insane but she insisted to let it go.
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u/YourphobiaMyfetish Still on Sulla's Proscribed List 19h ago
If you dont want to sue, you can talk to a patient advocate at the hospital or just run up on the doctor with a lead pipe.
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u/ChaosOrnate 19h ago
Please please tell me you did not let it go. That doctor will 100% do it again. This isn't about satisfaction it's about preventing future victims.
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u/throwaway_ArBe 19h ago
It's not exactly appropriate to drag the victim through all that when they aren't prepared to go through it. Shit like that is intensely traumatic. Don't berate the poor guy for being a good partner.
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u/Dagordae 19h ago
He could still report the doctor. Just letting it go means more victims until eventually he slips up badly enough that it’s forced into the open.
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u/PolicyWonka 19h ago
People say the same thing about sexual assault and rape, but it’s not that simple. It’s an intimate and sex-based crime still. It’s not easy to go publicly with these kind of things. Even something like this carries a stigma and you’ll get a bunch of knuckleheads saying that you’re exaggerating, lying, should be grateful, etc.
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u/throwaway_ArBe 19h ago
It's not his place. That would be a terrible thing to do. It would be better for him to support his missus in healing and support her in reporting the doctor when she is ready.
You don't seem to appreciate how violating, humiliating and traumatic it is to report a doctor over intimate violations. You don't force that on someone. Certainly not your partner.
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u/AnimusNoctis 18h ago
If the last person had reported it, it wouldn't have happened to her.
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u/AnEyeAmongMany 17h ago
maybe. maybe reporting it leads to an inconclusive investigation and nothing more.
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u/TempusCavus 19h ago
So, that's what the settlement/judgement money is for. Obviously don't pressure a person, but the court system contemplates all harm caused by the doctor, not just the initial violation.
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u/throwaway_ArBe 19h ago
Obviously. But that's for the victim to consider when deciding if to pursue it or not.
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u/Delcane 19h ago
Out of curiosity and fear. If that happened and you don't catch it in the moment can they undo it?
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u/PolicyWonka 19h ago
I would think that they can with surgery. Usually, it’s sewing a natural tear that can occur in childbirth, but extra stitches are added. Sometimes, it’s not even necessary to get stitches.
So I’d imagine corrective surgery would be snipping that bit and having it heal, but understandably I’d suspect many women aren’t keen to have that done given the trauma.
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u/screenaholic 19h ago
I would beat the doctor's ass if they did this to my wife.
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u/Chiiro 15h ago
I have seen a couple people on the pelvic pains sub talk about how they can to heal or figure out treatment to deal with the pain caused by these bastards. I am so glad I took the possibility of getting pregnant away from myself so that I never have to go and deal with a doctor doing this shit.
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u/LunaFlare03 19h ago
Life is seriously so fucking depressing seeing shit like this. I don't know how people can be so fucking cruel.
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u/SoftDrinkReddit 18h ago
when i first heard of this i actually laughed thinking yea right that;s not a real thing
looked into it HOW THE FUCK IS THIS A THING IT'S DISGUSTING
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u/wilcoxornothin 17h ago
Highly recommend reading the book “Vagina Obscura.” It was a very difficult read for me but also eye-opening. I had to take a break when I got to genital mutilation and removing of the outer clitoris.
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u/ThroawayJimilyJones 16h ago
Am i a 5yo if i point the fact the author of a "vulva book" is called "Rachel E *Gross* " ?
Because i think it's funny.
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u/wilcoxornothin 14h ago
You said the quite part out loud but I thought the exact same thing. Language is funny tho! It means icky to us but originally meaning strength and greatness. Rachel Gross emulates that original meaning well with putting together this book!
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u/ThyCringeKing 17h ago
I did not know what this was referring to until I looked it up just now. What the actual fuck?
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u/Prince_Ire Featherless Biped 18h ago
Context?
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u/Abinunya 17h ago
It's very common for the vagina to tear during childbirth. Theres a baby being pushed out after all.
Sometimes its very small tears that will healcon their own. Sometimes the tearing is so severe, surgery is needed or at least preferred. Basically the tears get stitched closed.
And the 'husband stitch' refers to the practice of just. Stitching into healthy flesh to tighten the vagina, because of course thats what The Husband would want.
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u/HJSDGCE 16h ago
Why would the husband want that? And why would the doctor assume the husband wants that?
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u/redbird7311 15h ago
Because vaginas can lose some tightness after giving birth.
Of course, they usually return to their normal state or something close to it, as such, unless you are pumping out your own soccer team, no one is probably gonna notice.
However, sexual myths exist and even some doctors believe them, as such… stuff like this exists… even though there is no proof making the vagina tighter actually makes sex any better.
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u/HJSDGCE 15h ago
That's crazy. Like, this shouldn't be the doctor's business. Plus, why would I, the husband, want to cause my wife pain during sex? Sex is not worth it if means my partner gets hurt.
Do these doctors think husbands are psychopaths?
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u/redbird7311 14h ago
In a lot of western cultures, sex is kinda dirty and shameful, especially when it comes to woman’s sexuality. As such, various myths and horrible attitudes rose, stuff like women enjoying massive dicks or all of them liking it extremely rough is a good example because talking about sex openly is frowned upon or outright shamed.
The problem is that this also ended up in the medical field with numerous doctors, either intentionally or unintentionally, participating in various patriarchal/sex shaming practices.
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u/HunterGonzo 15h ago
Ok, even as a man who has had sex (multiple times even), I genuinely do not understand. The tightness of the entrance itself has never been important to or affected my experience. It wouldn't change the sensation once you're actually in there... right? Am I stupid? Am I not understanding what the extra stitch(es) actually do?
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u/Desperate-Mix-8892 7h ago
If someone demands husband stitches I guess his dick has to be so small that the entrance is all they can reach.
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u/HustleberryFinn77 15h ago
I never understood why this is even a thing. The obvious moral aspects aside, wouldn't these trained medical professionals know that "tightening the entrance doesn't tighten the tunnel" ? Furthermore that due to the scar tissue your sex life, if anything, is more likely to be inhibited by this? I get that there might be cases that are an unfortunate result of "overcorrecting" during a stressful situation, but doing this deliberately......just why?
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u/Thomasasia 16h ago
I didn’t realize this was still common. Looking at these comments makes me realize that it still happens. I would be infuriated, and I would sue, what kind of sick fuck does this kind of thing without consent?
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u/lemons_of_doubt 15h ago
For the wife painful sex.
For the husband, a partner that is no longer as keen on sex as it hurts.
For the doctor a lawsuit.
Who the fuck is winning here?
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u/Curaced Fine Quality Mesopotamian Copper Enjoyer 15h ago
ITT: People don't understand how the deck is stacked against victims of medmal and other abuse by healthcare professionals. "OMG! Just report it!" Gee, thanks, jackass, why didn't I think of that? The fact is that the financial and power disparity between the victim and the provider is absolutely massive, and I don't have the money, time, or energy to deal with the years of retaliation, character assassination, and my trauma being thrown back in my face at every turn. Being on (or near) the bottom rung of society means needing to pick your battles carefully, and often that entails prioritizing survival over justice.
Still won't stop the smug asshats on reddit blaming the victim for "enabling" the perpetrator, or for not wanting to relive their trauma nonstop for the next however-many years. Blithely condemning others who choose not to walk headfirst into a meatgrinder that they themselves have very little conception of.
The good ole' boy system is alive and well in the healthcare system, and while it may not be as bad as in the military or law enforcement, hot damn if it doesn't come close.
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u/Real_Rough_9467 16h ago
Serious question, I thought they stiched up where the baby tore. I've heard of "honeymoon stitches" I never thought extra stitches would do anything. Like if I tore my face at the corner of my lip. If they stiched past the wound into my healthy lips would my lips then fuse together? I don't think it works that way. Stichitng two healthy pieces of skin together would just separate when the stitches are removed right?
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u/pillarofmyth 13h ago
Extra, unnecessary stitches causes the tear to heal improperly (not healthy skin fusing) which then creates scar tissue where there wouldn’t be.
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u/Balearius 17h ago
Doctors will straight up complain about getting violenced and then pull this shit with 0 self-awareness
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u/Mountain-Singer1764 17h ago
Shit like this undermined public confidence, and the result is the shitshow that happened during the pandemic.
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u/TheRealShiftyShafts 19h ago
My wife got a husband stitch as far recently as 2017
I didn't think it was a big deal as a man and she seemed to enjoy it as much as I did
But I made a joke about it in 2020 when my second child was born, in a different hospital, and they nearly threw me out of my own sons delivery they were so mad
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u/Aluxanatomy 18h ago
Did she consent?
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u/TheRealShiftyShafts 18h ago
Neither of us even mentioned an interest, and the doctor didn't ask, so no, consent was not given. He just told us afterwards
We weren't bothered by it after the fact, and she also enjoyed the "effects" afterwards, so we let it go and it never bothered us
She wasn't offended by my joke in 2020 either, but the staff definitely was. Neither of us ever considered anything was wrong before that point
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u/Aluxanatomy 18h ago
I'm glad it worked out for you two, truly, because it means that you don't have to deal with lasting damage. The doctor really, really shouldn't have done that without her consent.
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u/Altruistic-Web13 19h ago
Does this affect later births if you decide to have another kid? Like I would assume the best case scenario is you get more surface area to tear (ouch) but is there a worst case scenario where its going to cause any new significant complications?