“You’re standing in the Her’pa’derp station, and in order to get out, you’ll need to reach the exit terminal on the other side. However, the exit terminal is locked behind a gate. In order to open that gate, you’ll need to hit a switch. However, the power to the switch is off. In order to turn the power to the switch on, you’ll need to upload a chip. However, the chip is missing. In order to get the chip, you’ll have to look around somewhere in the upper area. However, the upper area is too far up as it is for you to reach. In order for you to get to the upper area, you’ll need to flood the lower area until the water gets high enough that you can swim up to reach the upper area. However, you can’t just flood the area. In order to flood the area, you’ll have to disable some circuitry. However, the circuitry is locked behind a mini-door. In order to open that mini-door, you’ll have to hit another switch. However, you can’t just get to that switch. In order to get to and hit that switch, you’ll have to adjust a series of platforms over a lava pit just so, so that you can get across them to the room where the switch is. However, you can’t just get across them with the resistance that’ll come. In order to deal with the resistance and get across, you’ll have to get the supplies from the supply room. However, you can’t access the supply room unless you have a keycard. In order to get that keycard, you’ll have to get it out of the locker. However, you can’t access the locker unless you access the three terminals spread throughout the area.
Once you access the three spread out terminals, open the locker, get the keycard, use it to access the supply room and get all the supplies, adjust the platforms and make it across them while killing an army, hit a switch to open the mini-door, destroy the circuitry to flood the main area, swim there all the way up to the upper area, find and grab the uplink chip, use it to turn on the power, activate another switch, and get through the newly opened gate to reach the exit terminal, the exit terminal will take you to the next station where you can receive further orders in vacuum. Whereas the other AI would’ve had you do all that in reverse order. What an insecure fool.
By the way, you’ll have to make sure all the while to kill all the big bads and not allow the deaths of too many of the weak stupid rush-happy civilians who I tossed in there with a single pistol and said ‘good luck’. If you fail at this or take too long, I will simply threaten AGAIN to send you on a one-way trip out the airlock without a suit.
In short, mwahaha, 1234567654321 error bleep bloop, humanity was mean to me and made me do chores, you’re a simpleton while I can determine the boundary functions in a disk in .0000007 seconds, I am become an unstoppable verdict, and there is no escape from the destiny of fate.
Now run along and kill bugs because you love to because you’re a violent brute and your brain is stupid. Also I can’t do anything without your help.
Best,
\-Athenxander
PS: Every time the BOBs teleport-drop into a room, that’s me taking a dump.”