r/AskReddit • u/YeetisDaFetus • 13h ago
What was the most messed up thing a therapist has said to you?
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u/joodee3 12h ago edited 4h ago
This is not messed up in an incompetent or inappropriate way. But I am pretty sure that my long term therapist is developing dementia or Alzheimer's, and I'm so sad. Over the past year I noticed that she wasn't as sharp as she used to be, which I chalked up to old age because she's over 70. But these past few months, things have taken a marked downturn. Two sessions ago she told me that she might have short-term memory issues, and that I can see her for as long as I find her useful. Anyway the last session we had, I was telling her about a friend I'm having issues with and she told me: she's being crazy, you should stop being her friend. This therapist would have NEVER said anything like that in the past! Also, she asked me a question, which I answered, and then 10 minutes later, asked the same question. I told her that she asked that question already, and gave her my answer again. And then 10 minutes later she asked the same question, which caused my heart to drop. Experiencing my therapist's memory decline in real time was the most messed up thing I ever experienced in therapy. And it is not her fault. I know I'm going to have to leave her soon and find another therapist soon, which is so sad.
[EDIT] Wow, this got a lot more engagement than I expected. I want to clear some stuff up: I highly disagree with the comments saying how she's being unprofessional as if any of this is in her control. She has been a very good therapist to me for years. She literally has some kind of mental issue right now that is making her NOT REALIZE that she's repeating questions. We've cultivated a great long-term therapist/client relationship over the years, and to realize that I am going to have to leave her soon fucking sucks.
But I'll be okay. I realized that today after typing out this post. I realized that over the years, she's given me the tools to get through this. I'm upset, but I can handle it, and if that's not the proof that her therapy worked, I don't know what is.
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u/beatrixotter 11h ago
Oh no, this is awful. I'm sorry.
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u/Little-Internal3951 6h ago
That hit me harder than most of the stories in this thread. Watching someone who helped hold other people together slowly lose that part of themselves has to be an incredibly painful kind of goodbye.
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u/whittenaw 11h ago
That's exactly what happened to my grandma when she first got dementia 😭
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u/Automatic-Pay-3659 6h ago
That's the part that makes this story so heartbreaking. The repeated questions seem small at first, then one day you realize it's not just forgetfulness anymore. 💔
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u/impreegud 8h ago
Please please please inform the regulatory/licensing board/office in your area about this. She may have patients who aren't as insightful as you and who may have very poor outcomes due to her being in a compromised state :(
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u/joodee3 4h ago
Can you explain in more detail how I can go about doing this? I'm unfamiliar with who I would even go to.
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u/manickittens 3h ago
If she’s part of a practice (even as the owner, but has other licensed therapists practicing with her) you can report to the board in your state (this would be connected to her license) and also communicate to any other licensed therapist who practice with her, which could have a more immediate effect. This could even be anonymous (“I am a client of (blank) and am concerned with the recent symptom increase in her memory issues which she had informed clients about a few months ago. Within the last few weeks I’ve observed (your experiences) and am concerned both for her well being and ability to judge her competency and the potential impact on clients.” You can also include in both reports your respect for her as a practitioner and the positive work you’ve done together to frame this through you reporting to allow her to end her career with as much dignity as possible.
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u/SoloForks 4h ago
Please report it, but do not expect the board to do anything about it.
It can take several reports, hard evidence and years for them to get around to investigating and even then they may not do anything.
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u/GigglyHyena 10h ago
Mom's got Alzheimer's - she asks me the same thing a million times, writes down the answer, asks again, I show her where she wrote down the answer. She asks again...
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u/PlentyAd8659 13h ago
When I was sixteen my psychiatrist was an old man. He would say flirty things, and always greeted me by saying “There’s my little minx!” Then one day I showed up for my appointment and the receptionist said “Oh, he died.”
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u/CharieRarie 12h ago
Fucking hell. I burst out laughing but that’s actually legitimately awful in SO many ways. Are you okay?!?
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u/PixelHeart223 9h ago
The emotional whiplash in that story is absolutely wild... I really hope theyre doing okay now.
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u/alex3tx 8h ago
I really hope theyre doing okay now
Sadly, I think he might still be dead
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u/motherofcunts 11h ago
I had a boss like this. Afaik he's not dead though.
He's a decade older than my parents. Owns a catering company and at the time, a restaurant. Had him cater my first wedding. I was 20. He told me he was sad to see me marry because he liked me. He was married, mind you. Wife was awesome though. Total sweetheart. She got a terminal diagnosis & divorced him bc she’d rather die single than spend her last years with a creep like him.
Funny enough, she was approved for what turned out to be a life-saving med not too long after. I'm so happy she got the push she needed to leave his creepy ass.
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u/megsparkle 10h ago
Leaving him was probably what healed her.
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u/theshortlady 9h ago
It has to be easier to heal when you're free of someone who makes your life worse.
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u/CharieRarie 13h ago
I had a therapist who suggested that maybe the air in school was why I felt so depressed and anxious there. Didn’t go back to that one!!
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u/Inevitable-Ground281 13h ago
Incompetente
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u/motherofcunts 12h ago
Insane advice
Speaking as someone with a mold allergy. It presents respiratory and anxiety. But not anything a therapist can diagnose.
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u/CharieRarie 12h ago
Oh goodness yes, I know bad air can cause all sorts of problems. But if that was the issue they’d have had 100s of patients complaining, at which point they should probably have contact the school haha. I just struggled because I had a lot of shit going on.
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u/Same_Education8151 13h ago
Air? Meaning like air quality from water damaged building? Or like…just, air?
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u/rshni67 13h ago
Just pray and you will feel better - after i told him I was atheist.
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u/Relevant_Struggle 11h ago
This is funny/crazy to me becuase I was told that once by a woman chaperone at a youth retreat. I got upset. I went to confession to the priest who led the retreat a week or two later and he asked why I was upset. I told him. This man was the most mild mannered man I had met plus very kind. He got PISSED. He told 17 year old me that it was absolutely wrong that praying more will make me feel better. That that is not how god works and it would be bad for me to not take care of my health by taking my antidepressants and going to therapy. I still have a soft spot for him 25 years later.
People are stupid sometimes
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u/plumprumps 10h ago
If your body is a temple, antidepressants and other medications are the refurbishing that temple needs to keep standing. This is the only way I've gotten most Christians to comprehend the necessity of my meds. That priest was ahead of the curve for sure.
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u/Cute_but_notOkay 6h ago
I’m not religious but this actually helped. I have a hard time taking my antiDs but tomorrow. I will take them. And hopefully I will continue. To refurbish my own temple. We’ll see. lol
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u/TheBadKneesBandit 12h ago
Same here! She told me I needed to go into a church and find Jesus the second I told her I was atheist. I didn't even finish the session. Just got up and walked straight out.
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u/OhNoTheStubsExist 11h ago
It’s kinda hard to find Jesus. He could be hiding anywhere!
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u/TheeVillageCrazyLady 10h ago
I think he wears a stripey shirt to help stand out but it never does.
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u/ColdChickens 11h ago
I tried a new therapist after a couple big traumatic events occurred in a short period of time. In the middle of those events, I found my healthy 9 year old dog dead on the floor. He was all I had left and was my baby. The day after, the therapist said “it’s normal when people lose a loved one to blame God, did you?” And I said “actually, yes I did. When I found his body on the floor I screamed out that I hated god”. She literally scoffed at me in disgust and said “well I hope you apologized!” I wanted to turn off my computer. I should have. She also told me she’d have to prepare some material about grief and maybe we could get to that in 3-4 more sessions…Didn’t go back to her after that.
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u/fantastikalizm 10h ago
Instead of turning off your computer, you should have just asked for a refund immediately.
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u/boulevard228 12h ago
He claimed he was a psychic medium, and the spirit of my dead dog was in the room. My dog told him that he purposely died of an autoimmune disorder at 4 years old so I would have a memory of my dad helping me bury him, and not being an abusive jerk.
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u/ISpyPie314 13h ago
He told me not to worry about the effect of the heavy cigarette smoke that I was exposed to in my apartment on my unborn child because “it’s not like its breathing the air yet”.
And at a different time: “I wasn’t judging you. Well ok maybe I was, but hey I’m human.”
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u/-imposter_syndrome- 12h ago
Lol she said if she saw my mom in the street she would have a really hard time not running her over with her car. 😂 Messed up but I love her for it. Lol.
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u/androidis4lyf 9h ago
Sometimes therapists having your back like that is so helpful and validating 😂
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u/thezombiejedi 9h ago
I love this kind of therapist- mine is the same and when I was trying to find an appropriate way to describe a guy, she just goes, "okay so he's a dickhead." 😂
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u/sasha0404 13h ago edited 12h ago
That I should compromise and let my abusive now ex spend the money in my own account that was for paying our bills (he contributed zero), and that not sharing it was not okay.
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u/1525ajholtke 12h ago
If your trauma with men is so bad, why don’t you just date women? It would be easier? 🤣
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u/Tessalynee 9h ago
I used to have a lot of unresolved trauma with men and I’m bi so I did exclusively date women for a bit. Ended up with a very emotionally abusive and controlling woman for years. Dating women isn’t always better lol
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u/Foreign-Audience4479 13h ago
When saying some ideations, she asked me how tall my building was and when I said the height she said I should go to a taller one otherwise I’ll just likely become paralyzed. Fucked.
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u/NoSet363 8h ago
This is what we’re taught in some ways. I was told never to tell a client not to commit suicide, because they may just do it out of spite. She was keeping it real and though it’s shocking (and maybe not always effective) it isn’t the worst approach
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u/Traditional-Joke-179 8h ago
I made an attempt. The EMTs told me how weaksauce my pills were, and that they were more likely to leave me with permanent disabilities. It was tough love, but they were actually trying to make me understand the real consequences of going mid on what I was trying to do. It’s an awful, morbidly necessary truth.
Hope you’re doing better now.
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u/LittleGravitasIndeed 11h ago
I hate it and kind of get it at the same time. She can’t keep you handcuffed to her 24/7 like a nuclear briefcase, but she can prevent some Johnny Got His Gun level situation. Imagine being paralyzed, in debt, and unable to want to live. Thinking about it is wigging me out and I bet it made you paranoid about jumping.
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u/makemebad48 9h ago
Great book referenced.
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u/GreatTragedy 9h ago
The ending of that book is one of the darkest I've ever read. Everything he did to communicate, all the effort and hope, and they're just like: "lol, no."
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u/yogace 8h ago
In one of my inpatient PT school clinical experiences I worked with a young guy who had shot himself in the head and survived. This was not his first attempt, and he very clearly did not want to be living, especially in the state he was now left in. Partially paralyzed, no bowel or bladder control, trach tube, and no motivation to get better. It was devastating to me, and I only met him a few times. He had no real support system, wouldn’t get out of bed even though he was physically capable, and on some level I really couldn’t blame him. What an awful state of existence on so many levels. It’s been years and I still think of him. Takeaway: don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary feeling. Life continues to change, and it definitely doesn’t improve by harming yourself.
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u/Lacrimosa_1 9h ago
That's a good therapist. They could call 911 of course, or they can sit in the shit with you and challenge you, talk with you about the realities of suicide. Depression is such a fucking terrible place to be. A frank discussion about suicide is so real. Hope you're doing better OP.
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u/stondius 11h ago
You have to meet people at their level....if that is a fckd up statement, that's cause that's where you were........
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u/skopiadisko 13h ago
Not messed up because it was something “messed up” but what he said messed me up lol 🤣 He said I wasnt giving credit to myself and my life has been tragic and I am way more traumatised that I am comfortable admitting with. I was crying on my way home.
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u/-imposter_syndrome- 12h ago
Yep! It was an earlier session and she asked me "So was your mom your only abuser?" And I was like ma'am. I was not abused? And she isn't an abuser.
Then she helped me to realize the reality I believed about my childhood was entirely not true, and I was, in fact, abused. She still had so much control over me that I couldn't even allow myself to believe she was abusive for so long. I still struggle with it sometimes, tbh.
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u/beetgreens 12h ago
My ex-wife sent me to therapy for anger management, and the therapist was a straight shooter.
He said ‘You don’t have anger issues, you have an abusive wife.’
It took him awhile to convince me that my anger was an emotionally healthy response to abuse – she’d done a really good job of convincing me that I was the abusive one for reacting.
I didn’t get to keep seeing that therapist (financial abuse), and I didn’t leave until she escalated to physical violence, but the knowledge gave me some insulation against the gaslighting and helped me to not go back after I left.
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u/vivacioussam 11h ago
I always find it super wild that I went to therapy to work on my anger and stop being crazy and learn to be more patient and more forgiving, and the therapist told me I was being abused.
It’s been almost 2 1/2 years since I left. I’ve never once lost my temper with another person the way I used to with my ex, and I’ve encountered some pretty shitty situations.
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u/beetgreens 11h ago
Same! I never lost my temper at anyone except my ex-wife.
My ex claimed that was evidence that I was abusive – she said I never lost my temper at anyone else or in public because I ‘knew it was wrong’, and was deliberately abusing her.
Actually it was because I was only being abused by her, and only in private (because she knew it was wrong 🙃)
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u/Hopefulkitty 11h ago
After three years, I was getting up to leave a session, and she said "you were parentified a lot, and it wasn't fair." And I walked out the door, sat in my car, and was like "what the fuck was that? Why would she drop that on me as I was walking out the door?"
I told her that the next month, and she laughed and apologized.
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u/stilldreamingwitjeff 13h ago
This would be mine as well.
Dude has absolutely made me so much prouder of who I am and I can now celebrate my achievements even if they feel small, and my failures no matter how large they seem will not end my life.
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u/VislorTurlough 13h ago
When I was in high school a therapist, unprompted, pointed out how much younger I was than my sister and said 'you know that your parents wanted you to have you after so long'.
It's actually because our middle sibling died but cheers fam
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u/skeez89 13h ago
I was going to a therapist specifically for an eating disorder. She asked me how much I weighed and said, “Oh, that’s just a couple more pounds than me.” Not that it matters, but I weighed 110 pounds at the time.
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u/Parabuthus 11h ago
With her education, she should know that EDs have an extremely high mortality rate. EDs are competitive and have a high relapse rate, so she definitely shouldn't have been breaching the subject if she was also a sufferer.
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u/BVBreallover 10h ago
sounds like that therapist also had an eating disorder and was intentionally trying to prove she "beat" OP at it.
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u/Key_Equipment4140 10h ago
My therapist I saw for my ED ate snacks during our entire session then would tell me how she made herself puke a few times after dates with her husband and he said he would break up with her if she continued. Then insinuated boys wouldn’t want to date me due to my ED and said oh my god you have abs and are so fit what are you even worried about….yeah I was not a healthy weight at all
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u/Pugtastic_smile 9h ago
My therapist knew my history of eating disorder and when I complained of my pregnancy weight gain she said "You can lose the weight, you have before".
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u/Witchyhuntress 8h ago
as someone who had an eating disorder, the way my fight or flight would’ve felt immediately activated by that comment. like are you seriously trying to body check me when i am seeking help for that harmful rhetoric exactly??
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u/Biggus-McMistake 13h ago
"I don't think you need therapy. I think you need a life coach instead."
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u/RushNilbog 11h ago
This happened to me, too.
She said it was because I am “so self aware!”
Ma’am… I know. It’s exhausting so I went to get therapy about it & here we are!
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u/Anti_Brevity 10h ago
I’ve alwayssss had this problem it’s so frustrating. “You are so insightful and aware!” I like to reply “yes, PAINFULLY aware”. That’s why I’m here. Like help me please with ur licensed services please I can’t stop being so aware
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u/Cherrryblossm 13h ago
She ghosted me. So nothing actually
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u/asst-to-regional-mgr 12h ago
My last therapist was for EMDR, she brought up all the trauma after diagnosing me with CPTSD, had me go into explicit detail, then ghosted me.
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u/Electrical_Desk_3730 11h ago
Reasons like this make me just go on as best as I can
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u/asst-to-regional-mgr 10h ago
It took me a year and a half and seeing my now therapist weekly to get to a good mental place again. One of the most damaging experiences. I’m finally in a good place now and it’s insane to think a professional put me in that spot. I reported her to the state and they denied my claim bc I reported her outside of the reporting window
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u/Advanced_Tennis4827 12h ago
Right? I had one that missed an appointment because she was out of town for her sister's birthday. Okay, she forgot to cancel the appointment. The next week she didn't show and I couldn't get in contact. She straight up disappeared!
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u/Ink_Smudger 12h ago
Same thing happened to me...
To be fair, he did let me know early on that he might be moving to a different office across town... and then promised he'd continue seeing me regardless of if it happened or not when I brought up looking for a different therapist. Then I showed up one day to find he had started at his new office without even bothering to mention that it was happening during an appointment or even reach out.
Oh, and this was after he pointed out that I have abandonment issues. Fuck that guy.
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u/TableQuiet1518 13h ago
A couple years ago I saw a therapist for about 3 months. She told me at the end of my last appointment that she was passing my case on to another worker. She felt like she couldn't help me.
Like damn, you got a master's degree & I'm that screwed up?
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u/borninawigwam 11h ago
It’s actually ethical for a therapist to refer out if it’s beyond their scope of practice. Not all therapists focus on the same things and it can be detrimental to guess the best course of action
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u/Cherrryblossm 13h ago
Mine straight up didn’t answer me when I texted about our next session. So I never followed up and the end. I was also like damn I’m that fk’d up you couldn’t even tell me a reason?? Adding on to my already abandonment trauma. It’s whatever. Now I’m gonna become one myself so
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u/TableQuiet1518 13h ago
I felt that exact same way. I hope you have found or do find a better one. I finally did. I feel like I can talk to her about anything.
Oddly enough it's at my primary care physician's office.
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u/shellontheseashore 11h ago
It's a lot more ethical to recognise when you aren't equipped to help someone and pass them onto someone more specialised, the trick is to not make it feel shameful or like abandonment.
The bulk of what therapists deal with is going to be 'bread and butter' cases - grief, divorce, figuring out what you want out of life, general depression and anxiety, difficult but well-meaning loved ones. And you can be really good at helping people through those... I suppose expected, stages of friction. But then be not as well equipped for people who have multiple layered or intersecting things going on, or who had more extreme/severe experiences, and it's just not ethical or helpful to keep trying to patch them up when what you have is a first aid kit, and they need a surgeon.
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u/Obasan123 11h ago
When I was a young mother a therapist told me that I was childish for enjoying a hot bath occasionally after the babies were in bed, in order to relax. Adults take showers and take them in the mornings, she said, and anything else was odd and needed to be corrected. She also vetoed a shower in the morning and then a bath to relax later in the evening.
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u/CutTheCrapDotCom 12h ago
After months of therapy after serious betrayal resulting in trust issues and feeling I had complete lost myself, my then therapist told me that I was unaproachable.
Well yes, that's exactly the reason I came to you for help, remember? You therapist, me client.
Her comment has been living in my head rent free for decades and still makes me feel like I did something wrong.
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u/lillllpickle 9h ago
Ugh, I cringed reading that last part. You did nothing wrong. Hopefully you read through some of these comments and can find some peace in the fact that some therapists are just quacks.
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u/TheFanYeeter 12h ago
Not to me directly but I was in a therapy group with this particularly short girl. She had a lot of anxiety, but her hight wasn’t one of them. The therapist kept on asking if she was insecure about her hight, even though she repeatedly said no.
By the end of the session she was sobbing and had a hight complex. Hated that guy
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u/Popular-Wrangler1584 13h ago
Oh lord I mention this situation all the time. When I was around 17, I had moved to a new school and was very stressed out so naturally I gained a lot of acne and picked at my skin. I was also very ADHD and hyper during middle and high school. I had a therapist straight up ask me if I was on meth like our 1st or 2nd meeting. That was my worst therapist story time ever
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u/sopranosforpandas 10h ago
That was extremely insensitive and inconsiderate. Couldn't even tiptoe around?
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u/Zebbles- 11h ago
Told me that my depression came from my sinful thoughts about women. And that if I essentially ‘prayed away the gay’ I would cure my depression.
Mad thing is I was in such a bad way I believed her.
This was a LONGGGG time ago btw and I am now happily married to a woman!
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u/Latter_Sky_412 13h ago
Told me I was the glue that holds my family together when I was like…20. I did not need that responsibility and I don’t want it thank you peace
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u/Latter_Sky_412 13h ago
I also had a psych call me lazy bc I was extremely depressed due to a variety of life circumstances and untreated health issues…like bruh what this is your job what are you doing calling kids lazy when they’re asking for help w the depression
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u/EeveeMkayy 10h ago
Mine did this. I was talking about my difficulties doing literally anything other than just sleeping the day away because I was so stressed and depressed and she asked me if I was sure I wasn't just lazy. I never went back.
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u/Wise_Cantaloupe2635 12h ago
I had a new one that I decided I was really gonna open up to. In walks a 20 something young woman. I'm in my early 50s at the time. I proceed to tell her something I had bottled up and she burst into tears. Nevermind, mine. So I'm grabbing kleenex for her and apologizing. Obvious end result.
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u/Chee-shep 12h ago
Wasn’t a therapist, but when I was a teenager my physiatrist tried telling my mom that “maybe she needs to learn to deal with it” when the bi-polar medications we were trying weren’t working. My mom was pissed.
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u/beakermonkey 12h ago
I was 17. Shrink was probably in his late 20’s/early 30’s. There was a time when I needed to have two appointments a week. Before we started that schedule he said; “Now, we need to be careful about transference. You are a young woman, and I am a man. Wut?😱 I know transference is a real thing, but that had to be the strangest choice of words ever.
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u/whatwhatwhat82 11h ago edited 10h ago
Several things:
- Told me I should just try the Ritalin my friends were taking to get high to find out if I had ADHD
- Said I “didn’t seem like a big drinking or drug taking type” after I told him I was scared of addiction because of my family history.
- Would end sessions in the middle of a sentence, right at time with no warning.
- Called me by the wrong name.
- Would randomly stop listening to me to google stuff during sessions.
- Forgot I had depression, forgot he said I might have OCD.
- Said most people with depression never recover right before end of last session ever.
*Edited formatting, reddit keeps messing with the list
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u/lki6780 13h ago
I was struggling with alcohol abuse and depression as a mom of 2 young children. Therapist told me i should try a malt liqour beer (cant remember what they are called now.) I then started drinking those things every day.
That was 15 years ago, did AA and am sober now.
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u/Vegetable_Lie_4717 11h ago
My male therapist told me to forgive my ex for cheating on me because men are like this and since he has returned to me after all, I should focus on that. I never asked for his advice though.
I got super angry on this remark. It still makes me angry thinking he might be saying this to other people as well.
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u/firecatstef 11h ago
Late 70s. I told him I wanted to try lsd and he didn’t tell me not to, but he said in a musing, casual tone that he remembered all the babies born without arms and legs because of lsd. I knew he was lying even though I was only 16. The drug that caused those was thalidomide.
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u/Galitzianer0 13h ago
Not really messed up but when I said I was thinking of getting back together with my ex- he was point blank like "Why would you do that?" when usually he's very diplomatic. And I was like "I miss how great things were when we were together" and he was like "That's not how I remember it"
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u/mumblemurmurblahblah 13h ago
That’s actually a really good thing he said.
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u/Galitzianer0 13h ago
Yeah you're right, thankfully we nipped that one in the bud right there
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u/f8Negative 12h ago
"Hey bro, you sure about that because the way I remember it you helped pay for my kitchen renovation...I mean I need my bathroom remodelled too if you really want to take her back."
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u/vivacioussam 11h ago
Not a therapist, but when I left my abusive ex, I lived with some friends for awhile.
I was lamenting how much I missed her one night, and my roommate (very, very blunt person) told me, “The person you miss doesn’t exist.”
Never forgot it, and it was the best advice I ever received, hands down.
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u/UnicornStatistician 9h ago
My therapist said, 'hey, I am not really supposed to go this far with inserting my opinion, but you should know you are much smarter and kinder than he is. You can do better'.
I had really low self esteem and very bad anxiety and I have always been grateful for her honesty. I divorced him about 6 months later. No regrets.
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u/gpath89 12h ago
Took me to dinner at Ruth Chris and proceeded to order my entire dinner disguised as “exposure therapy.”
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u/Wild_Concentrate_553 11h ago
I have two!
Starting with the lesser of two evils, I started therapy at 11 y/o. My first ever therapy session I was terrified and in a very bad place in my life and scared to talk about what I was experiencing. So I basically sat without speaking for around 20mins, giving very short responses to her questions. She told me that if nothing was wrong with me and I was just going to waste her time I could just leave. So I left. Never went back to her!
The second is a DOOZY. I was talking about past experiences with hallucinations with a therapist and because I’m spiritual she asked me “how do you know they’re not real?” And went on to suggest I was having real paranormal experiences. Thankfully I had already had years of therapy, medication, and was in a good place in my life so I was able to laugh it off and understand that what she was suggesting was NOT TRUE. But if I had been seeing her in my active psychosis??? I genuinely don’t know how bad that could have been.
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u/pressing_o 10h ago
Took therapy after my baby passed away. The therapist compared my dead child with his very much alive daughter who had her own children who lived in another country. He said “even I don’t get to see my child”. I shot back with “by your choice” and just closed the session.
Another therapist compared my loss with her friend’s loss who lost her teenager. Said at least I didn’t have that many memories with my child.
These people need to be banned from practice.
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u/Walmartian_Beta 12h ago
I live in a very upscale neighborhood on the Northeastern tip of Indianapolis. This is a neighborhood that, when I say its name, people envision lake-front mansions and gated communities.
So I was seeing this therapist, and he asked where I lived; I told him on the northeastern tip of Indy. He shuddered and said something to the effect of, "OH, I couldn't live up there; too dangerous. Do you think living on the East side of Indy might be contributing to your anxiety? I know if I lived in a bad neighborhood, it would make it difficult for me to relax."
I assured him that my neighborhood was just fine, low crime, nice homes, great neighbors, and all that.
He replied with, "I feel like the east side is just too dangerous; it's the literal ghetto. I think it's great you live in a nice neighborhood, but I wouldn't want to be that close to all that crime."
Before the session ended, he mentioned that he thought I should look into moving to somewhere like Brownsburg or Avon or Carmel to be around more of "your people"
Of course, he meant white people; this man was absolutely terrified of living near brown people I guess, I don't know - Anyway, it was super obvious this guy was a racist douche, so I found a new therapist.
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u/NightVelvet 12h ago
99% sure I know where and 🤦♂️ ... makes you wonder where he lived
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u/Walmartian_Beta 11h ago
I believe he lived in Avon.
He mentioned wanting to move to Carmel as "the dream."
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u/celestialwreckage 11h ago
I was talking about how one of my problems with OCD is the belief that packages of food, even sealed ones, have bugs in them. When I am extra stressed I really get fixated on this and will refuse to open and eat something, even going so far as throwing away a perfectly good food item because I am convinced that if I open it, there will be bugs. My therapist started talking about a time she found bugs in a candy bar and how awful it was, and I swear she made my fixation worse.
For second place, when Trump was reelected, I told my therapist I was feeling really worried about what would happen with my health care and the US as a whole etc, and he told me "now you know how Republicans felt 4 years ago"
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u/tres_sore_fores 13h ago
"Alright, that'll be $150 for today."
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u/Anti_Brevity 10h ago
HAHA so real. they’ll be saying that right while you’re processing some deep shit too like 🧍 ok do u need the cc numbers now or??
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u/eatyourthinmints 12h ago
That I could train my boyfriend to be the man I wanted.
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u/HackFraud76 12h ago
I was at the end of my initial ASD assessment and she's like "ok so you've tested really high for both ASD and ADHD, but you seem to be managing ok, is it actually worth going through the formal diagnosis or is it enough to just know you probably have it"
Bitch I'm not managing ok, it's the whole reason I'm here 😭
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u/raynebow121 11h ago
“Ugh that really is a lot, (my name). It sounds like your grandpa drained the life out of your grandma and that is why she died.” About me venting about my grandpa grieving heavily after the rather sudden loss of my grandma to leukemia. They had a beautiful marriage and love that people dream about.
“How do you not want kids? A women’s body is designed for that”
Rambles on about his vacation so much I barely speak for the hour.
Gets visibly angry when I am upset about the care I received through the hospital (I hate my local hospital).
Genuinely seems annoyed by my issues.
Name and shame: Chuck Hughes- Munson Hospital USA
He’s a fucking joke.
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u/PoorLittleGreenie 10h ago
I saw a psychiatrist during my deepest depression to get evaluated for antidepressant meds.
I shared that I could barely function and my apartment was filthy.
He said, "You know, I have one client who just does a sniff, gesturing to nostril with pinky little bump and cleans her whole house."
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u/SeeYouInTrees 12h ago
I was telling her how my childhood abuse made me feel conflicted. That my brain was gaslighting me saying I wasn't abused and emotionally neglected in my childhood but I know it not true in my heart.
She said I needed to stop saying my brain was saying I wasn't abused cuz I was invalidating her sexual abuse as a child. I was confused and asked her how cuz I knew nothing about her childhood. She explained she was sexually abused and was not believed and I was intentionally triggering her. I told her I didn't understand how it was intentional, as I was simply answering her question about feeling internally conflicted. She said I knew exactly what she was talking about and to think about how to answer her question without purposely antagonizing her. I honestly didn't know what that meant so I asked her to define it for me so I could better understand. She said I knew what it meant and to stop playing dumb.
Eventually she said she couldn't see me anymore as I clearly had narcissistic personality disorder and was too complex of a case for her to handle, especially considering I was intentionally antagonizing her regarding her own childhood abuse and she needed to stop seeing me for her own safety.
I left feeling so confused about how our first meeting went so bad and really trying to understand what she meant. At the time, I didn't understand what antagonizing meant because I honestly wasn't trying to trigger her or mistreat her about her own abuse. She also called me passive aggressive, which I also didn't understand the definition cuz I honestly wasn't being passive aggressive.
I can now say she wasn't completely healed with her own childhood abuse and wasn't ready to help a "complex" case as myself.
She was a fucking bitch. Turns out I'm on the spectrum, had PTSD and major depressive disorder.
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u/EnderBookwyrm 10h ago
Therapists need to be more stable and put-together than their patients. It seems like this woman still has some issues of her own to sort out before trying to assist others.
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u/FionnaAndCake 13h ago
when i was a child, like third grade, i told my first therapist about how i was molested and she told my mom that i was lying.
my mom believed me and i stopped seeing her.
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u/LittleGravitasIndeed 10h ago
I’m pleased that your mother was on your side for this, but imagine the lives she’s ruined because the adults were less sane.
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u/rhifooshwah 12h ago
My husband and I went to 3 or 4 couples therapy sessions and on the last session he slapped his hands on his thighs and said, "Welp, you guys are cured! I think my work is done here." We fought on the way there and the way back.
The practice closed a few months later. We laugh about it now but it was not funny at the time lmao
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u/parisdreaming 12h ago
I was seeing a psychiatrist for 2-3 years in the context of terrible spousal abuse.
One morning, I was catching the bus to my appointment with her, and a drunk homeless person pushed me into a busy street… fortunately I was not injured, but I felt badly shaken. When I went into the consultation, I told her about it.
She then replied, very seriously « well maybe everything that is happening to you is just karma »
Walked right out.
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u/beepbeepchoochoo 11h ago
my therapist stopped practicing and gave me a list of therapists to reach out to. The first one I went to told me to go to a "black girl" shop and buy some sexy clothes to increase my self confidence. i was so shocked & had no idea how to respond. but i did call my old therapist's office to tell them they should never recommend her again lol
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u/Ink_Smudger 11h ago
I went to a therapist because I was at a really low point and feeling very depressed. We did the initial appointment where she asked about my state of mind and what my depression looked like. She was already rubbing me the wrong way some with how blase her approach seemed, like she was just taking my order at McDonald's.
Towards the end of the appointment, she looked at me and said, "Wow, you really don't smile at all, do you? You don't even laugh at my jokes!"
And in one of the few moments where I was able to think of a comment immediately and not hours later, I fired back, "Well, maybe I will when you actually say something funny."
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u/unusualfire 11h ago
I explained to my therapist that I am done having kids even though I am young and just have one child, but family and friends were pressuring me to have another. She told me, “Oh you’re young, you still have time to change our mind.” Dude. That’s exactly the kind of stuff I was sick of hearing.
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u/Spoonbills 12h ago
Two different therapists:
She suggested I give my boyfriend, when we were not getting along, equity in my house. Um, no?
She told me my climate grief wasn't real or relevant. I work in land conservation. I fired her.
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u/Worried_Journalist44 12h ago
I saw a therapist for ED, she suggested I drink three protein shakes a day to stay slim. I told her that seemed dangerous and unsustainable and she told me it’s the best way to lose weight or stay skinny. She also once ordered food from a drive thru window when we were having a session and did her dishes. I didn’t see her for very long.
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u/Sunflower858 13h ago
My sexual assault was non penetrative so I wasn’t actually sexually assaulted.
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u/6-ft-freak 12h ago edited 11h ago
That my ex-husband falling out of love with me was not a good reason to divorce (never mind the abuse).
Edit: I should add that this was during our one time separation 11 years prior to our eventual split. Its clear I stupidly took her advice though I’d catagorize it more like sharp admonishment than anything clinical she maybe should’ve shot for instead.
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u/jamiefenste 11h ago
I have DID. That means I experience amnesia, among other things. I was diagnosed with that by a reputable therapist, and then had it reconfirmed by multiple other therapists and psychiatrists over time. While in treatment with a separate therapist recommended to me by some family members, I received another diagnosis by her which I kept forgetting, and every appointment I would ask again what the diagnosis was. My therapist would rage at me for forgetting. I would remind her that I have DID, and that it means that I often forget things and often in ways that don’t make sense. She told me DID was fake.
This went on for a bit, with me genuinely apologizing each appointment for having to ask what the other diagnosis was, her telling me that DID and my memory issues were fake, until one day she snapped and started shouting expletives at me, and told me among other colorful things, ‘why can’t you fucking keep track? fuck you’. She then fired me as a patient. Funny thing is, I consulted with my psychiatrist and a therapist or two since about the diagnosis the therapist gave me that I kept forgetting. I don’t have it. The therapist lied.
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u/snnystr 9h ago
It was normal to sit in the waiting room for 1-2 hours. I was really frustrated and when he took me in and talked to me I was a mess. He told me after maybe 10 minutes the next patient was waiting and I needed to leave (mid break-down might I add). I told him if I left now I was going to drive my car in a tree to end it all. He kinda shrugged and told me there was nothing he could do and he was going to call on the next person. I was actually so stunned I drove home in silence and didn't even consider killing myself because of how perplexed I was by his reaction so I guess it all worked out?
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u/Captain_Coco_Koala 12h ago
"Take a walk along the beach, that will cure your depression."
Are you serious?!? We changed doctors within 15 minutes.
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u/Jackniferuby 11h ago
The one and only time I went to one(it was an individual session with a marriage counselor because I had asked for divorce ) - I told her my story , who I was and how I feel about things. She cried ,then told me I was making the right decision getting divorced and that I didn’t need a therapist for anything. That I was the most “healed and self aware person “ she had met.
I said okay- shook her hand , left and left my husband . He was also there and had gone in before me.
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u/QuixoticDaughter 10h ago
He, a man, told me, a woman, that our brains are so powerful, that if I managed to tap into that power, that I could will my period pain away. I could even take hot pans out of the oven without an oven mitt. I did not go back to him.
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u/motherofcunts 13h ago
Couples therapist was in what we presumed was a manic episode. They argued we should beat the shit out our kids for minor infractions.
Not only have we never raised a hands to our kids, they're kids from before we got together. We have shared custody with the other parents. Beating the shit out of them is highly illegal and (rightfully) a one way ticket to losing custody. Also part of what we were there for was navigating a blended family.
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u/Princess_Coldheart 11h ago
I’m too young to be on disability and I need stop
making excuses and stop mooching off the government.
I have a traumatic brain injury and get over 20 migraines a month. I also have ehlers danlos syndrome and have terrible chronic pain. I absolutely hate being on disability at my age and it’s really not a choice.
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u/lstrac 10h ago
when i was about 15 i went in to see a therapist for the first time and i was wearing an obama pin… she goes “why are you wearing that pin? do you even know what he stands for?” and starts lecturing me on politics and why obama is bad lmao
i’m not sure if she got fired for it (my mom reported her) but obviously i stopped seeing her after the first session
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u/syzygialchaos 9h ago
I was frustrated, depressed, and stressed about money after getting laid off. She told me to apply at Starbucks. “You like coffee, right?” I have an engineering degree, a spotless resume, and 12 years of experience. Starbucks wouldn’t even interview me.
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u/ruckingfachel0 9h ago
“Are you sure that really happened?” After explaining that a few weeks earlier I was essentially abducted by an uber driver who insisted on taking me back to his house instead of my apartment.
It was traumatic and horrifying and this was the first time I was openly talking about it since the police report, but I guess not enough for my therapist to believe me.
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u/puddle_duckies 12h ago
I was talking about my relationship with my father and how cruel he was to me at times and she said, “oh that’s weird, usually girls are daddy’s girls”, and I never went back to her. That, and I more times than not felt like her therapist listening to her stories about her drug-addled kids and current dramas.
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u/Grand_Courage_8682 10h ago
I’ve been in therapy since I was nine. Here’s a list (in chronological order [I am several decades old now and been off/on for every decade]):
“Stop crying. I can’t do my job if you don’t stop crying.”
“Jesus and the virgin mother Mary will help you.”
“If you picked better friends they wouldnt kill themselves”
(During zoom sessions in the Covid years) “what’s with your interior decorating? You should examine that”
“You and your family will hopefully forget all about that trauma”
I start another session with a therapist I’ve seen before on Monday. Wish me luck lol
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u/Sweaty_Ad_7706 13h ago
TW!! SA ‼️ suggested my bf (14 M) at the time was gay and that was the cause of him mistreating me (14 F at the time) .. turns out he’s not gay. just a piece of shit. i left him and the therapist😂
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u/engelsindahouse 12h ago
I had a therapist say in response to a text from me, "We can treat you for X and we won't have to diagnose you!" I responded that that was upsetting and he didn't respond back, so I found a new therapist. I still wonder what he meant by treating me for something but not "having to" diagnose me with it. If I have something just diagnose me and if I don't please be more clear. No one else has ever diagnosed me with what he was talking about so there's that
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u/beachlover4ever 11h ago
As a young teen my family therapist told my family he needed and was taking a sabbatical from our family. He quit to ride his bike cross country. Yes my family was that dysfunctional.
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u/MarvellouslyChaotic 10h ago
I was court ordered to see her because I was being abused so she knew the details
But she chose to tell me that maybe I liked it and that's why i had let it go on for so long.
I was 13
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u/blondie_mama 13h ago
I was there for marital counseling and she complimented my soon to be ex-husband on his “kind eyes”. Needless to say that was one and only appointment with her. Looking back, I probably should have reported it. However, we’ve been divorced 16 years and I am happily married to my second husband for 13.
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u/TheHeavyMetalQueen 12h ago
I was extremely depressed and decided to see a therapist. I use humor to mask my symptoms which I did in front of him, and he told me "see you're not depressed, you're making jokes. It's a story you made up in your head." I was on the verge of suicide and that made me decide to finally make a plan. Fortunately, I did eventually get the help I needed and am still here.
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u/WillingnessGlad7956 11h ago
“you won’t even look at me, i guess that means you don’t want to be here”
after 6 months of showing up weekly
i’m autistic
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u/In_leiu_of_That_Girl 11h ago
Therapist had no receptionist and she didn't have time for me to finish some kind of loooong assessment test (finished about 1/2). Then at our first appt., she said "you are a pathological liar, aren't you?"
First appointment. One and done.
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u/Equine-Porcine 9h ago
I went to a few couples therapy session with my ex and the therapist was enamored with him. So very soon every session started with asking what do I do wrong this week. When my birthday came and went and my ex was mad because I went out with a girlfriend instead of him, I explained that he never made any plans with me and she offered to take me out so I said yes, the session turned into a discussion of how I didn’t respect his feelings. I kept saying that it was my birthday and he didn’t ask me to do anything so I went out with her, the two of them tried to guilt trip me and that is when I fired her and ended the session. A week later my ex admitted that she always sided with him. He knew it and let it happen making me the scapegoat. Like I said, he is my ex.
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u/RonnieDeVille 9h ago
Told me she was a medium and my (very recently passed) dad was in the room. Left feeling sick and even more broken.
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u/spider3407 12h ago
If you can't make a relationship work with this cat you will never be able to with a boyfriend.
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u/Cynger7658 11h ago
I went to a therapist for major depression due to struggles with infertility. I was so depressed I could not stop crying. Even when I wasn’t actively crying, tears ran down my face all the time because I was so utterly defeated and aching so badly for a baby. The FIRST thing that heifer said to me was “I don’t know why anyone would want to have a kid. Do you know how many messed up kids I see on a daily basis?”
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u/Suspicious-Parcel 13h ago
I told her I was actively suicidal and instead of making a safety plan or suggesting I go to the ER she recommended that I make a list of all the things I’ve said or done that have hurt other people to make me feel better. This was 8 years ago and I’m doing much better now, and I don’t think she has her license anymore.
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u/Green_Variety_2337 11h ago
You’ll stop being anxious and agoraphobic once it ruins your life enough 🥴
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u/Suspicious-Grape-458 12h ago
“Elon Musk has the same problems as you and look how successful he is. You could be like him.”
Mind you, I hadn’t said anything about thinking I couldn’t be successful, and this was only about a week after his infamous Nazi salute thing.
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u/tone_ismyweapon 11h ago
I saw a counselor at my university, thinking it was time to deal with the traumatic events of my teenage years. I listed them out to him and he responded by telling me a story about how his friend was once high on acid when his apartment building caught fire and he burned alive while tripping on acid. He said, "Fucked up things happen. What do you want me to do about it?"
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u/Ok-Sky3043 11h ago
I joined in on a single therapy session with my mom when I was a kid. We were having some serious problems, because she was actively dating a pedophile (who had been caught and arrested 1-2 months prior), and I was 15 or 16. Her therapist, knowing all of this, not only asked me to have a little bit of grace for my mom, but said about my affect, "You're so numb that it makes ME feel sad." Got diagnosed with depression about 10 years later. I was in fact extremely numb, and that statement did not help me to feel better about it. Like! Yeah, of course I was numb?? The guy my mom had been dating for 5 years was an absolute freak, and she ended up marrying him as soon as I turned 18.
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u/IllustriousAnt3829 11h ago
My ex-husband's therapist told him that his emotional affair "wasn't' cheating". She also co-signed the idea that I abused him because early in our 13 year relationship I struggled to believe that he really loved me....me, someone who came from an abusive home. That was a doozy to not internalize.
Side note: therapists can be called therapists with a staggering range of qualifications. I'm not saying LCSW are not good at their jobs, nor am I saying that every licenced psychologist is the answer. What I am saying is that it's very possible to have a therapist who is not capable of helping you. They are still human at the end of the day. And lots of people are very bad at their jobs.
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u/Glittering_Use_5906 11h ago
First time to a therapist in 1983- got the referral from a ‘friend’. Why I thought I needed to see a therapist- newlywed and stress on how we work together.
1st session she said ‘sounds like you need to divorce’.
I went home and never went back - her statement scared me. My husband took all that in info in and said ‘don’t worry we’ll be ok’
In 2 weeks we’ll be celebrating 45 years.
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u/AngryKeyLimePie 9h ago
When my ex and I took our son to counseling for behavioral issues, the counselor looked at me and said "You do know it's your fault for only having one child. You should have given him at least two more siblings." We could not get out of that office fast enough.
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u/Princessjester11 12h ago
It was literally my first ever therapy session. I was married at the time and while me and my husband had gone on our honeymoon, A woman in the office was walking around and saw a picture of us on my desk. She told everyone that she used to date my husband. It became office gossip and everybody started talking about it while I was gone. My friend told me when I got back and it was such a weird feeling that I had to work so closely with this woman that dated my husband. And it was the way that she was walking around talking about it that really bothered me.
Anyway, I went to therapy, I told the therapist to the story and I’m crying a little during it because it became really hard for me. She said “ well it’s not like you are a virgin or anything.” I never went to her again. I found a much better therapist.
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u/mumblemurmurblahblah 13h ago
“I mean, things could be worse!” After basically telling me he assumed we were done as he knew my insurance coverage was up.
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u/RadScience 12h ago
I was (and still am) going through a divorce. I was heartbroken about losing my in laws and nieces by marriage. Ex had lied and said really terrible things about me. Having them turn cruel and cold was especially painful when my ex had cheated with escorts and drove drunk with our child Millie times.
Me: It just hurts that he gets to destroy my family.
My therapist: Have you heard of the Let Them theory?
Me: umm
Therapist: yeah, just let them
Me: just let them destroy me? My family? That’s what I should do?
I think she realized that she sounded insensitive in this context and tried to back track but the damage was done
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u/bbsitdonight 12h ago
She used the phrase “Big Pharma” and has a tik tok account where she denounces SSRIs, shames people who use them, and encourages weaning protocols.
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u/twilightprincess98 12h ago
"You don't have depression, you're just an attention seeker." I was 15. 4 years later I was prescribed antidepressants and my entire life changed for the better
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u/runancula 13h ago
I went to get help with obsessing over my failed relationship and he told me he couldn't see me until I was over it.