[ Removed by moderator ]

[u/Beautiful-Cancel-940]

[u/maticooks1]

When someone is only kind to people they can benefit from but rude, dismissive, or disrespectful to those they see as having less status. Also never taking responsibility, constantly blaming others, enjoying humiliating people “as a joke,” ignoring boundaries, and showing little empathy. One behavior alone doesn’t make someone a terrible person, but a consistent pattern of these traits often does.

[u/Bargadiel → u/maticooks1]

This catches basically the whole thread. Love the clarification at the end. A pattern of this stuff usually means a person is aware that they're like this, and continues the behavior anyway. Common trait in narcissists.

[u/PostMatureBaby → u/Bargadiel]

Except narcissists aren't usually self aware and wouldnt acknowledge their behavior is wrong. The ones that do acknowledge it but refuse to change are even more evil

[u/Dependent-Push-8889 → u/maticooks1]

The way people treat those who can't do anything for them says a lot. Kindness that only shows up when there's something to gain isn't kindness at all.

[u/Xanikk999 → u/maticooks1]

The silver lining is some of this can be changed if the person makes an effort. I used to have some of those qualities but I made a concerted effort to change as I do not want to be a terrible person. I am kind to everyone regardless now and I am very careful about making sure people are not uncomfortable from my words and I respect all boundaries.

[u/maticooks1 → u/Xanikk999]

That’s actually one of the most important parts people forget, personality and behavior aren’t completely fixed. Some traits or habits can be learned, unlearned, and improved if someone is self-aware enough to recognize them and put in the work. The fact that someone genuinely wants to change and cares about how they affect others already says a lot about their character. Growth doesn’t mean you were never flawed, it means you were willing to take responsibility and do better.

[u/CinammonBlossom → u/maticooks1]

You just described my boss 😭

[u/vvicki429 → u/maticooks1]

How to they treat animals and how do animals treat them. Sounds crazy but it really says alot about a person

[u/hammertime2009 → u/maticooks1]

Sadly this fits way more people than I wish it did

[u/PostMatureBaby → u/maticooks1]

The kindness is also usually disingenuous too

[u/templeofsyrinx1 → u/maticooks1]

boy, this awakens some feeling in me 👍

[u/ChocoChipScape127 → u/maticooks1]

Woah you're talking about my father

[u/MelancholyBean → u/maticooks1]

Those people are very manipulative though and no one sees them for who they are.

[u/gloomydreamer666]

The way they treat the people who are serving them or the one who cannot defend themselves like children, elderly or the animals.

[u/taidell → u/gloomydreamer666]

Edit: I don't know how to comment apparently

[u/BigHollaSchwalla → u/taidell]

I think you replied to the wrong comment.

Please dont hate me.

[u/taidell → u/BigHollaSchwalla]

Oh no I did. Thank you for making me aware of my idiocy lol

[u/HartHeadTony]

I always read stuff like "how they treat strangers/workers/animals", but it is actually proven that humans tend to treat others better in public, because of the fear of social judgment. What is actually harder to do and control, which also tells you way more about someones real character, is how they treat the ppl they spend the most time with and are closest with, because humans tend to get annoyed by them way more, since we see and know their flaws more often and clearly.

Basic example from my family: My sister is an overachiever and a doctor. Everyone thinks she is the nicest most sweetest person to ever walk the earth, because it genuinely looks like she treats everyone like an angel. But if you would see footage of how she treats her family, you would think there is no way it's the same person and that the footage is 100% fake.

Most narcissistic ppl are very social standart sensitive, so they always seem super nice in public. The way they treat their family and close ones tells the true story, not how they treat strangers.

Steve Jobs is also a great example of this. On camera he always seems so open minded, charismatic and a nice dude to be around or work with, but ask his family and friends and they will tell a complete different story.

[u/h0rr0rwh0rez → u/HartHeadTony]

Yes!! I'm completely no-contact with my mother, and my other siblings are low-contact with her because she's downright manipulative and was neglectful and aggressive when we grew up. Yet, she has a great social circle, and is in a highly respected position of power in the town I grew up in! She heads the LGBT pride in my town, but ask me or my younger sister about growing up, and you'll hear about how she berated us for years for being queer. Its absurd how peopke can act one way in private and completely differently in public

[u/HartHeadTony → u/h0rr0rwh0rez]

Yeah, so many narcissistic people are wired like that, it's crazy. Also, I am sry that you were exposed to such a terrible upbringing, I hope life is treating you better now.

[u/ChaturangaChai]

They talk differently about people behind their backs than they do to their faces.

[u/worstkindagay → u/ChaturangaChai]

I agree with this. Something I realized, that makes me really shy away from gossipers, is if they are gossipping and talking trash about everyone to you, they're also talking trash about you to others. 

[u/FooFootheSnew → u/worstkindagay]

Yeah I'd say the word gossip is where I draw the line. It's gossiping once you're airing someone's personal life or name calling.

I'd say once it becomes gossip, that becomes toxic. Complaing, venting, and sharing negative experiences with others is generally ok as long as it's not all the time. Like if your boss is being an asshole or someone made a really poor decision.

[u/Desecrated_Magic → u/ChaturangaChai]

There's a line with that. Not liking someone isn't a good justification for being openly rude. I have coworkers who I think are bad people, but treating them the way I think they deserve usually isn't possible and usually isn't productive. I don't pretend to like those coworkers and I never go out of my way to talk to them, but I'm always polite. If someone directly asks for my opinion I'm honest about how I feel and explain why. But I'm not going to treat someone like shit, and make a situation negative, just because it's "honest". My "honest" opinion about people I don't like isn't important enough to create unnecessary tension.

[u/dannixxphantom → u/ChaturangaChai]

I try to talk about anyone like they could overhear me. I wasn't always as consistent when I was younger, but one day I overheard myself being the topic of a "private" conversation. That shit will stay with you.

[u/DollDonut]

They constantly interrupt you, then dismiss what you were about to say.

[u/Clean_n_Press → u/DollDonut]

This is my mom in a nutshell and it's breaking me. She's the only nuclear family I have left, but I genuinely haven't been able to finish a sentence for the greater part of a decade.

[u/Puzzled-Goal-7995 → u/Clean_n_Press]

My mom too, constantly invalidated and ridiculed. I don’t even know why I bother with her, maybe the broken child in me

[u/Illustrious_Aioli507 → u/DollDonut]

I can not fucking stand that.

[u/ImpossibleDonut007]

When someone *subtly tries to sabotage another person’s job, relationship, or general success.

[u/Minute_Storm_3973 → u/ImpossibleDonut007]

Corporate America.

[u/SlothxWombat]

Anyone who has to constantly say or remind everyone that they’re “one of the real ones” majority of the time it’s the fakest people being the loudest.

[u/monster_breeder → u/SlothxWombat]

Same as those clowns who have to remind everyone to “be kind”. They’re usually the least kind people you’ll ever come across.

[u/Rhysis_Pieces]

If they center or bring back every conversation to themselves.

[u/limprichard → u/Rhysis_Pieces]

So true. Ran into an old acquaintance who I went to high school with, hadn’t seen him in 30 years, poolside at a Disney World resort. I heard all about him, his family, everything. He didn’t ask me a single damn question about me, despite my wife, daughter and in-laws being right there with us. He said we should get a drink at the bar later. Yeah, gonna be a no from me, dawg.

[u/Alternative-Ice-4670 → u/limprichard]

This! Talking about themselves the whole damn time & not asking you ish about you. I honestly used to think, "do these people even see themselves?" Is this 4real?? & tbh, they do. Naw, im wit you, I leave em be. I prefer hearing about you & you hearing about me. A 2 way street. We both care about one another.

[u/thriftingforgold → u/Rhysis_Pieces]

Unless you have adhd. Often when my friends talk about their pet or new hobby , to show I relate and understand I will speak about my pet and my hobby. It’s not self centred, I’m showing you I understand

[u/Farewellandadieu → u/thriftingforgold]

I used to do this all the time. It was a way for me to relate and show the person they’re not alone. But I’m learning that sometimes people just want to vent or unload or tell their story or simply just to be heard, so I’ve been suppressing that urge.

[u/Stock-Beach5264 → u/Farewellandadieu]

Im in that exact boat at this point in my 31yo life lol.

[u/buddhamunche → u/Stock-Beach5264]

Same here!!!

[u/metalgtr84 → u/Farewellandadieu]

My wife does this all the time. I’m thinking, okay I guess we’re talking about you for the rest of the conversation.

[u/kelcamer → u/thriftingforgold]

I'm pasting this from another thread but

For any autistic person reading that:

people preconsciously decide how to treat you based on status so if you validate their story first, then you can share your own and it is not seen as rude anymore

I'm autistic, hope this helps another autistic. Let's reduce the stigma together and learn from each other. 💜

[u/thriftingforgold → u/kelcamer]

Thanks for the award !

[u/kelcamer → u/thriftingforgold]

You are welcome and thank YOU for spreading awareness!

[u/Puzzled-Goal-7995 → u/kelcamer]

I’m autistic, I’m still trying to understand these nuances

[u/gaqua → u/thriftingforgold]

My son is autistic and has severe ADHD. He does this all the time and some people think he’s very self-centered. The truth is, he is extremely shy and very quiet, and if he gets excited about something you’re talking about, you should take it as a kind of compliment that he likes you and thinks you’re interesting. The fact that he always brings it back to some YouTube video he watched or something he did before doesn’t mean he’s only thinking about himself. It’s just how he processes information.

[u/Lynneti → u/thriftingforgold]

Thank you so much for saying this. I never realized this was offensive to people until I was almost 30. No one ever talked to me about it until I met my partner who also has ADHD. Now, I put in a lot of effort to just let people talk and ask questions about it instead of trying to relate, although, to me, it feels like I’m being rude as hell. 😂

[u/Left-Nothing-3519 → u/thriftingforgold]

This exactly, are you my son?

[u/DKlurifax → u/thriftingforgold]

I do this aswell but it get misunderstood often do i try not to anymore.

[u/Electronic-Jello-640 → u/thriftingforgold]

And this is the difference between neuroT and neuroD people. NeuroT ppl will always assume neuroD are selfish just because we're trying to show that we relate and are a part of the conversation. I think I'm only going to have neuroD acquaintances from now on lol

[u/PostMatureBaby → u/thriftingforgold]

ADHD and my parents both have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Somehow I didn't end up like them but still inherited tendencies obviously.

Some of us do this stuff automatically despite knowing it's not good! We're self aware enough to know it's bad and actively work on trying to undo the programming of our childhoods. We're not all assholes I promise!

[u/Responsible_Ad5912 → u/thriftingforgold]

Are you me?? lol. I wish I’d known about my own neurodivergence at least a decade earlier than when I finally and officially did!

[u/AwesomeMcPants → u/thriftingforgold]

I liked to do that all the time, then I got the unfounded feeling that people were annoyed by it so I stopped. Now I just barely talk anymore lmao

[u/thriftingforgold → u/AwesomeMcPants]

Yes, when I get that feeling that I’m annoying people I immediately shut down

[u/get2writing → u/Rhysis_Pieces]

could be autism and adhd too

[u/Alternative-Ice-4670 → u/Rhysis_Pieces]

Thisssssssss. & its so many people like this now a days. Its unbelievable.

[u/Open-Dot-9210 → u/Alternative-Ice-4670]

"I relate to people by telling them how I experience the same thing" ok but every single sentence someone says you bring yourself into it...

[u/thegurly → u/Rhysis_Pieces]

Underrated comment! If i had an award to give, you would be the one...

[u/OrangePresto → u/Rhysis_Pieces]

Enough from me.
What do YOU think about me?

[u/Radiant_Object_5390 → u/Rhysis_Pieces]

The worst is when you test it by not offering any bait and they still find a way to steer your story about your sick cat into their luxury vacation three years ago.

[u/SleepyOjo]

By how they treat people who can’t do anything for them

[u/Fartica90]

For me I always noticed when someone always painted themselves out to be the victim. All their problems are because of X and Y. Ect. It shows they lack the ability to take accountability for anything. These people also tend to go for more empathetic partners or friends and then use up all their emotional energy to feed their own ego and gain sympathy in order to distract them from noticing what a fucking actual nightmare they are.

[u/Lilelfen1 → u/Fartica90]

Except… except I have met people who actually HAVE been true victims and it was honestly fucking horrible. There are people in this world who are just gentle and naive and people tend to seek them out and abuse the shite out of them for some ungodly reason. Their trauma is real…

[u/Fartica90 → u/Lilelfen1]

Very true and valid. But you can usually tell which ones are malicious and ones who are just deeply damaged people just acting how they learned to behave to survive.

[u/AcuteNightRN]

Whether or not they put the shopping cart away in the corral after shopping at a store.

[u/pHScale → u/AcuteNightRN]

And I believe there's tiers to this too.

Fail to put it in the corral, you're a menace to society. 

Put it in the corral, you're a welcome member of society. 

Put it in the corral AND push it all the way in, you're an upstanding citizen. 

Put it in the corral AND push it all the way in AND make sure you stack with the correct carts (in a place that has multiple styles) you're a model citizen.

[u/tofuchanmi → u/pHScale]

You forgot the worst of it all: leaving it in the middle of parking spot

[u/willstr1 → u/tofuchanmi]

Leaving it in the middle of the driving lane is even worse

[u/HyperCutIn → u/AcuteNightRN]

I remember seeing a thread ages ago where someone in the OP effectively said the same thing, and everyone jumped that guy for being “judgemental”. I think their actions were way more telling about themselves than OP’s opinions about these people.

[u/AcuteNightRN → u/AcuteNightRN]

It’s all about integrity imo. Will you do the right thing when nobody is looking? I literally had some guy rationalize to me once that putting the cart away is taking somebody’s job from them!! I said congratulations you successfully justified your shitty behavior and laziness. I do believe though because at least in my experience that people who do have good character people who don’t have less than.

[u/ChewbaccaPJs → u/AcuteNightRN]

AKA a lazybones.

[u/One-21-Gigawatts]

How they speak to wait staff/employees

[u/Clean_n_Press → u/One-21-Gigawatts]

This is the clearest by a landslide. I've never been more repulsed than when I've seen someone speak down to a waiter, bus driver, coat check person, bartender, whatever.

[u/MagogHaveMercy → u/Clean_n_Press]

Yup. That is them being their most authentic self because they see no consequences that matter to them.

[u/alblaster → u/One-21-Gigawatts]

Wouldn't say that's subtle

[u/pokemon-trainer-blue → u/alblaster]

Half of the top comments don’t sound subtle

[u/alblaster → u/pokemon-trainer-blue]

Agreed

[u/Shopworn_Soul → u/One-21-Gigawatts]

More to the point, how they treat anyone who has nothing to offer them.

[u/PotatoCase]

How easily they change their tune when you prove them wrong

[u/Donovan1232 → u/PotatoCase]

someone accepting they’ve made a mistake makes them a terrible person?

[u/PotatoCase → u/Donovan1232]

No, Them being unable to or even getting angry

[u/Durakus → u/Donovan1232]

Thats how the comment read to me. “Changing tune” usually means a swing towards being nice or accepting. But the OP has the person as starting nice. But the term still baffled me a bit

[u/Bolarana → u/PotatoCase]

How is being able to change opinions when proven wrong a bad thing?

[u/Illustrious_Aioli507 → u/PotatoCase]

Proving people wrong, especially douchbags, is fun.

[u/gucknbuck → u/Illustrious_Aioli507]

Ironically, people who love to prove people wrong are often douchbags.

[u/Kainagai → u/PotatoCase]

Your comment is perfectly understandable and these people acting like they couldn’t piece together that you meant that the red flag is in how difficult or easy it is to admit they’re wrong are weird.

[u/71fit → u/PotatoCase]

This doesn’t make sense. If someone changes their tune when you prove them wrong, that’s actually a good thing. Now if they hold onto whatever thing is even after being proven wrong, they’re stupid. Not necessarily a bad person. Try again boss.

[u/trazom04]

Joking at other people's expense

[u/Elora_Freya]

How they treat animals and how they treat customer service workers

[u/happinesslies_9724]

Entitlement. So many people have it. If the world doesn't go their way it's the end of the world. I had to tell a 45 year old at the bank after a holiday to stop acting like a child. Because all they were doing was complaining to themselves to everyone that oh it's so busy put more people to work it wouldn't be like this. Like who acts like this at that age. Simply said stop complaining about you problems there's way too much going on in the world. Either be quiet or leave there's no other option thank you.

World really doesn't revolve around us sadly. I know most have it in their heads that's they way it's supposed to be and any inconvenience it's over. Like worlds on fire let's stop complaining about little things. Or anything at all. We are all struggling we all have trauma it's not about us. We are a herd and I wish we would see it more often the worlds a mess because of entitlement. Every one wants to live like kings and queens but there's not enough resources. We need to slow the f down.

[u/longliveshort]

No empathy.

[u/GargamelLeNoir → u/longliveshort]

"Being terrible"

[u/hotrodruby → u/longliveshort]

Some people are just apathetic... Not necessarily a red flag. Just how they're wired.

[u/joy4sunny]

they treat poor people poorly or they always seem "better than everyone"

[u/joyfulbee43]

Littering.

[u/Traditional_Bite_430]

Always problem never solution

[u/EE-Diaz → u/Traditional_Bite_430]

Yup they don't be seeing solutions to problems only the problem itself it's almost like they just want to stay in that energy

[u/Traditional_Bite_430 → u/EE-Diaz]

They have a problem with everything and everyone and don’t look at them bc it was someone else’s fault.

[u/EE-Diaz → u/Traditional_Bite_430]

Yup and u offer them advice to the actual solution or god forbid u help them out yourself and now ur ass a problem to their problems like brah toxic asf dealt with ppl like that my whole life yo from the workplace to the house lmaooo

[u/Traditional_Bite_430 → u/EE-Diaz]

Praying you can find peace lmao

[u/Minute-Unit9904s → u/Traditional_Bite_430]

Good one ..

[u/agbmom]

Someone who never ever takes responsibility for anything in their life and are constantly blaming others. They have zero self reflection and when pushed they'll get angry and defensive and then you'll become the bad guy to them. Because they can't take responsibility, they never learn and a pattern of bad choices repeats in their life.

[u/Sad_Department3380]

Constantly needing to 1up everyone

[u/Alternative-Ice-4670]

When they skip over what you say to bring the convo back to them. Tons of people now a days like that. Me me me me me 🤮

[u/Beautiful-Cancel-940 → u/Alternative-Ice-4670]

I actually knew someone who acted exactly like this. 100% agree

[u/Alternative-Ice-4670 → u/Beautiful-Cancel-940]

I dont play with people like that. I like to hear what everyone is saying. I love unity, etc. We all have something to say & I want to hear it. When I encounter folks like that, I do not converse with them again if I dont have to. I rather spend my time with people who value others.

[u/PossibleEvening4121]

They never try to get to know you

[u/marycat23 → u/PossibleEvening4121]

Yes yes yes

[u/Due-Meal-8760]

They don’t rerack their weights at the gym

[u/ChessiePique → u/Due-Meal-8760]

Now, the one that always bugs me is people who quote-unquote "take a break between sets" and sit on the exercise machine scrolling their phones for 20 minutes. Can you hear my gears grinding from here?

[u/Lysandre6]

Quelqu'un qui n'aime pas les animaux 😼

[u/Unlucky-Resort-7954]

Their narcissism.

[u/superhumbledude]

Same questions everyday

[u/Necessary_Travel_273]

Always thinking and talking about themselves, when they’re a good talker it’s hard to tell

[u/Scouse_Werewolf]

Only nice when it is for their own benefit

[u/Successful-Form-941]

They don’t say sorry

[u/rehumanizer]

No regard for the lives of animals.

[u/clouds6877]

Very simply, when a person doesn’t ask permission for anything. It can be as simple as taking a bit of your food, things, feelings etc. It shows that this person did not grow up with a consideration of other people, and have a single centered view of “me me me”, with no thought of an impact on another person.

[u/mrefromnyc]

Red hat

[u/BigBicBuick → u/mrefromnyc]

can’t even like Ferrari anymore smh

[u/DogAlienInvisibleMan]

You give them something and they immediately try to use their foot in the door to get more. 

[u/lamaestradulce]

Not a terrible person, but incompatible with friendship: doesn't listen to validate and get to know you when you share thoughts and emotions. But it could bee because of severe adhd or trauma that causes preoccupation with the self.

[u/CURRYmawnster]

How they speak of people who are not there to defend themselves or tell you their version of what happened.

[u/Ok-Entertainer-270]

Talking shit about anyone and everyone 24/7. I was shocked a classmate of mine was talking shit about a “friend” of hers one minute and then all bestie mode the next. She complained about things that I feel weren’t really something worth complaining about. An example was someone in class asked like 2 questions and she got annoyed. Very 2 faced and unkind to those that are different or doesn’t help her agenda.

[u/Carlseye]

Disliking animals.

[u/ChessiePique → u/Carlseye]

Disliking cats = BYE

[u/imbigwin]

Snickers or condescending giggles at someone else’s genuine misfortune.

[u/DoktorFreedom]

Lack of empathy

[u/beetle-babe]

Whether or not they tidy up after themselves at the food court or fast food restaurants.

[u/I-Hope-It-Haunts-You]

If they hurt you and don't care they did. When you try to tell them what they did hurt you but they'll dimiss you, gaslight you, claim they never did it, or even tell you they "don't take criticism" from those they don't respect. 

[u/Splaaaty]

Generally, what they do when they think no one's watching. Things like littering or not picking up after your dog.

[u/jack_respires]

Being rude to service workers

[u/BeezCee]

Cyber truck

[u/TheWally69]

When they act like an asshole because theyre drunk. The first time I see someone be a mean drunk I cut them off. Any time I havent has blown up in my face.

[u/TeachMeIT_]

How they talk about people who are homeless ,addicted.

[u/ebonyseraphim]

One that I’ve overlooked a little too easily, is when someone else who just met them very quickly realizes and determines how inappropriate that person is for their personal space with unshakable resolve. I used to let it go thinking that some people just don’t get along and aren’t for each other, but if you’ve noticed this happen to the same person more than once, others are likely seeing a problem you should be worried about to. You might have simply never triggered that asshole yet.

[u/Wiggle-queen]

When absolutely EVERYONE loves someone... It's extremely rate to find someone who is authentically themselves that is well loved by many. I think I've met maybe one or two people worthy of the overall love.

[u/FormerStuff]

“You’re an asshole for having the same boundaries as mine”

[u/CrimsonGhostStrife]

When something goes wrong, they immediately start throwing blame opposed to finding a solution. Saying it’s someone else’s fault even if it’s their own.

Not being able to compliment others without bringing them down in some way as well. For example if someone tells them they graduated, they begin to describe the difficult job market and how they’ll have a tough time finding work.

Interrupting others and not asking them to finish their thought/story afterwords.

[u/neverendingcory]

Not liking animals.

[u/gusisfry]

I find the clues in the demeaner of their dog.

[u/Beginning_March8285]

People that judge others solely off looks. People that measure others based on wealth, height, car.

[u/adude00700]

The over talkers usually have least to offer. Seek the listeners.

[u/Illustrious_Yak_5118]

they're always blaming others for their mistakes, classic sign

[u/sidesaladdressing]

They're mean to anybody for no reason

[u/Available-Gas8740]

Hypocrites. Even if small if they tell you don’t J walk and then Jwalk don’t trust them

[u/ContraianD]

Rude to servers.

[u/Merightthere70]

It’s always everyone else’s fault.

[u/BobVilasBeard]

Asking this question every single goddamn day on Reddit.

Every. Single. Goddamn. Day.

[u/DramaticSwordfis7]

Doesn't like cats or dogs. You get upset about say your dog at the vets and you are worried about them. And they say "oh it's just a dog, you can get another"

No empathy, no thank you.

[u/Mysterious_Phase4076]

We they say negative/hateful things about everyone they talk about

[u/atomicspin]

People who don't throw their stuff away after eating at a fast food spot or if you're somewhere that has a bussing station.

It's not their job to clean up after you.

[u/lycheemilktea1215]

I think someone who takes people for granted.

[u/softcorehoney]

"I'm sorry you feel that way"

[u/bns07]

Lacking accountability

[u/lumbee01]

How the person treats customer service and servers.

[u/evilpercy]

How they treat service staff or animals.

[u/Charming-Explorer169]

I only met 1 person that I could describe as “bad to the bone” and these are his traits

1. Disrespectful to his mom
   
2. Everyone did him wrong in some way and never his fault
   
3. Thinks everybody is a loser and he is above them
   
4. Thinks and speaks so poorly of women (Andrew Tate is his god)
   
5. Pretentious (would act rich around other people and complain when we are alone)
   
6. No empathy at all
   
7. Will step on others just to get ahead
   
8. Hates rich people but also want to be them
   
9. Jealous of others, even his own gf
   
10. Money is everything to him
    
11. Very short tempered - throws around furniture when things don’t go his way
    
12. Lie constantly but not smart enough so would always be caught
    
13. Selfish all the time - will not care if any food or other resources are left for others as long as he got his
    
14. His only deterrent to not doing bad things is it will put him in jail (yes he admitted to this)
    
15. Does not respect social norms or etiquette.
    
16. Paid others to do his thesis so he could pass college
    
17. Only does a nice thing so he could hold it over your head for months on end
    
18. Inflicted physical abuse to a pregnant woman that caused a miscarriage.

[u/kopiko1337]

They instinctively laugh when you hurt yourself

[u/Leading-Plastic5771 → u/kopiko1337]

No no no, that's fine. Especially if you're a guy. But if they only laugh at others expense but never at their own, then somethings wrong.

[u/kelcamer → u/kopiko1337]

Another autism trait in this thread, sharing for actual awareness

[u/Murfinator]

Rude to servers and/or retail workers.

[u/A_Ordinary_Name]

“My friend told me not to tell anyone this, but…” - immediately indicates they do not respect privacy

[u/malixspider]

expecting everything to go their way without even considering other possibilities

[u/ElectronicBand6392]

Rudeness

[u/nightlymare]

If they don't ever have anything nice to say about anyone, particularly saying awful things about other people behind their backs. Also if they are rude to industry workers.

[u/primeguttersnipe]

Lack of generosity or goodwill

[u/Usual_Network_9968]

If they cheat playing golf has always worked for me.

[u/Curious_lets_learn]

How they treat people in the world, like wait staff, tellers, cashiers, janitors, and generally anyone they come into contact with. Also, how they react in bad traffic situations.

[u/violetliberty]

Cheated on multiple of their partners

[u/ImTheOneWhoSleeps]

Treating waiters/servers horribly

[u/vintgedisneyprincess]

The way they treat their animals/animals in general

[u/gretanoramarie]

Never being able to take accountability for their actions, admit they're wrong and say sorry

[u/ShikWolf]

Levels of hypocrisy - how many things, and how big are the issues?

[u/hanesthesiaaa]

Can't be wrong or take accountability

[u/brohno]

when one of the first things they tell you is that all their friends left them. like they’re almost excited to tell you that everyone leaves them. you very quickly find out why

[u/WonderfulMinute1990]

Look at how they treat people or talk about people who have no power over them or nothing to do with them.

[u/baconfacetv]

If their adult children won’t talk to them

[u/floppy_breasteses]

Karma farming with repetitive questions.

[u/cactus-vagus]

The way they treat service industry workers.

[u/NeverEndingWhoreMe]

They WANT to appear helpless. 

There's difference between a person needing and accepting assistance and a person purposely craving attention through pitiful behavior and making themselves seem worse off than they actually are.

[u/showmenemelda]

They tell you they're a good person

[u/Own_Construction2682]

When they make excuses for their behaviour instead of actually doing anything to fix it.

[u/jlcu_mancave]

How they treat an animal

[u/c3xenccen]

being able to shrug off suffering

[u/in0wetrust]

Being a hypocrite

[u/catalinacruiser2019]

Kills/abuses their partner and/or assaults their children in the name of love.

[u/ShouldveBeenAScot]

A smooth talker is usually a fake that will tell you what you want to hear

[u/BabyQuinn99]

They are always the victim in every story, never admitting to playing a part in the situation.
Ofc people get screwed over sometimes but if they’re always passing blame on others without acknowledging their faults as well.

[u/jfunks69]

Posting this question now that has been posted 4,397 times

[u/HumbleBarracuda7055]

If there’s always something negative happening in their life but somehow nothing is ever their fault. Lack of accountability is a huge red flag.

[u/Rascallyrabbit82]

How they talk to others a lack of kindness

[u/GlassyFairy]

They try to make you feel bad for something that makes you happy or gives you reason A B and C as to why you shouldn’t be happy.

[u/Puzzled-Goal-7995]

If your walking somewhere and they are like 50 paces ahead of you 24/7

[u/littlelinguist89]

Anyone who would fall under the category of “professional victim”.

[u/WorthPlease]

When they are mean to animals for no reason.

[u/thoughtful_nonsense]

When you ask people about themselves but they never ask you anything.

[u/Smooth-Eggplant4340]

Sending emails or teams messages after 5pm, or at the weekend.

Going on about how busy they are, as if its a badge of honour. GTFO