r/AmIOverreacting • u/Future-Wishbone-1532 • 16h ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO for feeling sad that my boyfriend didn’t let me pick the restaurant for my birthday dinner?
My (19F) boyfriend (28M) really likes taking me out on nice dates and I usually let him pick the location. I was excited when he asked me to pick the restaurant for my birthday dinner and I proposed two options.
“Red” - A mid price range, casual, but still incredible family restaurant that I really love.
And
“Yellow” - A more upscale Italian restaurant owned by a fairly well known celebrity chef, that has a Michelin star.
He responded to both of my proposed options by laughing and saying he’s “never heard of that”. I’m honestly not sure what he’s trying to say with that. My bf is not a big foodie, doesn’t work in the restaurant industry or anything like that. I am interpreting his messages as implying that he’s some sort of authority on cuisine in our area. I know that’s not the case, because these restaurants are not holes in the wall. “Yellow” is literally one of the very few in our area with a Michelin star.
He instead offered “Teal”, which I looked up. It’s downtown and looks to be mostly a celebrity spot. Their food looks perfectly fine, but it struck me as a place people go to perform wealth and popularity rather than to enjoy the food.
When I told him about the Michelin star he changed his tune. But I’m still feeling hurt about the whole thing. It feels like he asked me where I wanted to go for my bday just so he could boast his superior… something. AIO?
We’ve been dating for 9 months
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u/rotating_pebble 15h ago
28 years old dating a 19 year old. Your boyfriend is a loser.
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u/Evening_Pea_9132 15h ago
No! She is just mature and interesting! /s
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u/ForLark 11h ago
She’s an old soul and so refreshing compared to the women he tried to date.
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u/furiouscrotch 6h ago
I’ve actually heard this one in person. The girl was 18 the dude was 32, they have been together for 5 years. Just goes to show relationships built on Stockholm Syndrome last.
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u/snortgigglecough 15h ago
And he likes to go places where he can perform wealth and popularity? Who would have thunk it?
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u/Classic_Bus8388 55m ago
When I was 19 I was dating a 32 year old.. now that I’m 32 I’m disgusted by the whole thing because how did he even get along with a teenager
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u/rotating_pebble 29m ago
Sorry to hear you went through that.
I dated a girl when I was 18, she was also 18. Her previous boyfriend was 32 and was her boss at work, they were together from when she was 16. He was a seriously fucked up person and would send her threatening voicemails etc when we were starting dating.
She was a difficult person to be with and we had a pretty rough breakup where I resented many things about her. Over the years, it became more apparent to me how that first relationship must've fucked her up in a lot of ways.
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u/Swimming-Trifle-899 15h ago
NOR he’s insisting on a “see and be seen” type restaurant so he can show you off as a trophy. This is more important to him than your actual wishes.
OP, you’re dating a very specific type of creep.
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u/Future-Wishbone-1532 15h ago
This… makes sense.
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u/MysticalRainbowKaci 14h ago
Give yourself the best gift ever, your freedom from this 'man'... please, trust me there are partners who make life feel more grounded, safe, peaceful, certain, silly and fun...this, is not that. Love is patient love is kind...love does not mansplain.
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u/Swimming-Trifle-899 15h ago
I’m sorry, OP. You deserve so much better than being used to prop up some turd’s ego.
I hope you have a great birthday surrounded by folks who genuinely love to see you happy.
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u/ConfusionHuge7922 15h ago
He dates young girls because there is a theory out there that if you get them early, you can mold them and control them easier. What’s more controlling than not letting you choose on your own birthday? And you can see that he thinks he knows so much more than you because you’re just a kid. He talks down to you like a child. So you can leave him, or you can stick around for about three years and then you will be too old for him and he will leave you.
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u/TripMaster478 15h ago
Either way at least she's no longer with him. So that's a win for the universe I suppose.
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u/rehumanizer 15h ago edited 15h ago
It's not a theory. I watched it happen in real time with my little sister. When they first met she was 17 and he was in his early/mid 20's. Our parents and all of our siblings secretly dislike the guy and, unfortunately, nothing we ever said dissuaded her from continuing to see him. They're now married and we all believe he groomed her into his perfect wife.
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u/Whimsical_manatee 12h ago
How old is your sister now? I would assume there is a reckoning coming at some point.
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u/Equivalent_Pop_2896 15h ago
Hey I know you might not feel like it but you are really young… hardly legal and he’s almost 30 dating a teen. That’s weird. He’s creepy. When you are 28 and you think back on this relationship, and imagine yourself dating a 19 year old at 28, chances are you will feel weird about it
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u/Icy_Guard_9356 14h ago
She should try to imagine dating a 10 year old. Same age gap 🤮
OP, if you read this, dude is a creep. How long have you been dating him?
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u/ButtPlugMaster6969 15h ago
Hard agree! I’m 25 and thinking back on my 19 year old self, I could not fathom being with the guy I dated then, or any of the guys I talked to before and after him. I also couldn’t date someone that age now.
There is so much change that happens in this age range and it’s the time to be “selfish”. As long as you’re not intentionally hurting people (breakups are not in this category) and you’re true to yourself there’s no reason to not put yourself first, for the most part.
It was lonely at times, I won’t lie, but that can make it easier to maintain friendships. But I enjoyed knowing that I could go out, party carefree and not have to consider someone else’s feelings every second. I could make out with the random guy, tell my bestie “there’s a hottie at the other bar, can we go?” 💀
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u/FarSun1806 15h ago edited 15h ago
NOR. It's your birthday, if you want to go to a restaurant or not its up to you. Unless he booked the place and perhaps it was something to do with that so he couldn't take it back.
Also wtf is a 28 year old doing dating someone so young !!? That's creepy asf
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u/Arcaydya 15h ago
Yeah he doesn't respect you or what you want. Youre basically an accessory to him. Thats why he dates teenagers. Hes a piece of shit that people his age wouldnt entertain.
Leave now and find someone your own age.
My girlfriends birthday is this weekend and she wants to go to olive garden. I dont even like olive garden. Do you think I said anything about that or suggested something different? No. Because its her birthday and thats what she wants. Be with someone who respects you.
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u/Plumbus-Grab-816 15h ago
I'm so sorry you have to go to Olive Garden. In this instance I would actually recommend a persuasive tactic to change her mind 😂
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u/Arcaydya 15h ago
Lol nah it makes her happy, thats all that matters. I dont really mind all that much in the end. Ill take her to some better Italian places for dinner a different time and maybe next year she will choose those. She wants olive garden so we will have olive garden haha
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u/Zen5877 15h ago
What a nice man.
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u/Ambitious-Regular-57 15h ago
Or Ma'am based upon the avatar
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u/potato-sighs 15h ago
I went there recently for a relative’s birthday. It’s not that bad. Unlimited soup and salad. Breadsticks.
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u/Arcaydya 15h ago
Im not gonna lie, im hyped for breadsticks
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u/kelly4dayz 14h ago
depends on where you are in the world right now in terms of the whole parasite stuff, but in normal conditions, I get genuinely hyped for the salad. it's very good lol
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u/Arcaydya 14h ago
I mean i think its just bagged salads right now. I imagine olive garden at the very least makes their own. Or at least is during this issue.
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u/kelly4dayz 8h ago
I hope so, but the threat of explosive diarrhea looms over all produce for me at the moment, making it difficult to enjoy lettuce at all haha
ETA I think you'll be fine and I think going to olive garden on occasion is fun
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u/Religion_Is_A_Cancer 14h ago
Please Olive Garden isn’t that bad.
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u/Plumbus-Grab-816 14h ago
Its frozen garbage.
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u/Religion_Is_A_Cancer 14h ago
Sure buddy.
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u/Plumbus-Grab-816 14h ago
....their entrees are literally frozen lmao. Bulk shipped, thawed, and served for 16.99. Enjoy!
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u/Religion_Is_A_Cancer 14h ago
I’m aware they’re frozen. Still isn’t garbage.
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u/Plumbus-Grab-816 14h ago
I'm sorry you have bad taste in food. I'll pray for you and your damaged taste buds.
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u/Objective-Tomato5278 15h ago
My 28 yr old bf as a 19 yr old girl. Not overreacting enough, he's a creep!
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u/NoObjective6366 15h ago
NOR. Sorry he belittles you, you deserve much better.
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u/kumosame 10h ago
fr, op is gonna end up like me, wasting my early adulthood on a fucking loser mutliple years older than me who had 0 respect for me.
Op, don't be me. It may seem harsh or scary to leave, but there is a reason he's not dating someone his own age. I implore you to consider why. I guarantee theres a pattern or behaviors you're not noticing/subconsciously ignoring.
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u/Plumbus-Grab-816 15h ago
What?! A 28 year old man who dates teenagers isn't taking the teenager's opinion into consideration?!
This is legit the craziest thing I've ever read!
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u/Neither-Oven-2571 15h ago
What everyone else said.
I'm betting not letting you choose the restaurant on your birthday isn't the only instance where he thinks he knows best 🙄
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u/Constellation-88 15h ago
NOR. He is in a completely different life stage than you and seems to really be into controlling you. Not only that but his derisive “LMAO” over and over again…
It is highly unlikely there will be any sort of healthy relationship that comes from this sort of dynamic. You are so young with so much time and so many other men who are your age available.
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u/Apprehensive-Ant1521 15h ago
The Lol and LMAO at the beginning of sentences when she's not saying anything funny is so patronizing. The "you're cute when your mad" type of guy.
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u/Weary-Square-8640 13h ago
Honesylyy I’m heavy on the “lol”s but I’m also in my thirties so it reads like old creep to me (LOL) very Millennial coded
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u/debbyryansbang 15h ago
Mm. Considering you’re 19 and he’s 28, I would say if this isn’t the first time, it won’t be the last.
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u/Wild-Fudge-6373 15h ago
If you're only 19, dating someone 9 years older than you, and still you're the mature one, just run and don't look back. NOR
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u/Emergency-Minute-112 15h ago
The almost 30 yesr old who is dating a teenager has no respect for her? Not to be rude but im not sure what kind of advice you're expecting here other than "age gap, break up." This is reddit after all and thats my advice
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u/VossParck 15h ago
NOR. The fact you have to convince him where to go for your birthday is enough of a red flag
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u/shoomlax 15h ago
He doesn’t have respect for you and almost looks down on you and your opinions. Probably could be related to the age difference and power dynamics. Dont like this guy, you shouldn’t be with them
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u/Tiny_Boat_7983 14h ago
He’s damn near 30 and you’re a teenager. He’s not the one for you, sis. He’s grooming you.
Anywho. Anyone who answers a text with “lmao” followed by “haven’t heard of it” isn’t interested in you or anything you are saying.
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u/Jolly_Ad8315 14h ago
27 here, and the thought of dating a 19 y/o is downright disgusting and predatory.
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u/l0c4lgh0st 15h ago
A 28 year old man dating a 19 year old means he is a loser who can't attract women his own age. For a reason. This is coming from a 30 year old woman who was taken advantage of by adult men when I was 19 and under. Please don't waste your time on men like this.
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u/AverageHoebag 15h ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7TKVfu4rwyscasla
OP please do me a favor look up DARVO and make better decisions on your dating possibilities.
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u/RickGrimesSnotBubble 15h ago
I am 26 and I would have nothing to do with a 19 year old. You’re gonna look back at this in the future and be horrified. I promise.
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u/BlueBerryOkra 15h ago
I was 19 dating a 27 year old.
Future you here - he’s a loser. He’s dating you because you don’t have a backbone or the experience to know when you need to advocate for yourself, and he can steamroll you.
You should be sad that he didn’t let you pick the restaurant. You should also be sad that you’re in a relationship with a low tier creep. No man worth having dates a teenager nearly a decade his junior.
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u/haveempathyordie 15h ago
He’s acting like he’s an authority over YOU. It isn’t even about restaurants or cuisine. Give yourself the best birthday present possible and dump him. NOR
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u/lovemyfurryfam 15h ago
Why are you with him for.
Your birthday. You pick the place & take yourself on a date.
Who needs him🤷 he can stew himself in the cooking pot.
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u/Whorowitz 15h ago edited 1h ago
combing a birthday with another celebration? that's also shitty. idk what the other thing is, but i bet it's something for him. that way it can be an evening out about him.
edit to add- COMBINING
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u/PatieS13 15h ago
The age difference is super gross, primarily because of how incredibly condescending he is toward you. He clearly believes he is superior and all of his knowledge is superior simply because of how much older he is than you. And I promise you, he dates women your age because women his age won't put up with his nonsense.
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u/An-Empty-Road 14h ago
Date men your age. He's dating younger because women in his age range are already wise to his shit. You're not. But you're seeing it now. Pick your restaurant, and go with your girlfriends.
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u/Glitter-Berry 14h ago
You’re way too young to be dating someone almost 30. Find someone your own age before you get knocked up & stuck with that pedo.
He’s controlling you, that’s why he doesn’t wanna be with someone his own age.
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u/ohratzzz 13h ago
he’s 28 but texts like an angry child… oh and he’s dating a teenager, he’s a creep. break up before he fucks up your brain.
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u/ezriah33 9h ago
I don’t need to address the other stuff cause it’s well covered. But if you want to go somewhere, say “I’d like to xyz” instead of asking what he wants. I’m just learning at 50 (because my husband is very literal) to say what I want. It really helps!
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u/Guilty_Way_1635 9h ago
Guys who date much younger women do it for the power imbalance and because women their own age see them for the fucking losers they are.
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u/One-21-Gigawatts 15h ago
What kind of 28 year old dates a 19 year old? Short answer: not a great one.
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u/iheartdattenborough 15h ago
Many of my friends who are 25-30 wouldn’t even look at anyone under 20.
With that said, she is not going to leave because we tell her to and is probably going to learn the hard way why a guy pushing 30 wants to date a teenager. Ew.
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u/ditchmaggots 15h ago
Stop waiting for other to do things you want tp do. If he won't go with you treat yourself
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u/mladyhawke 15h ago
When you were ten years old, he was your age. I imagine that you are kind and beautiful and full of energy and I really think you can do better. NOR
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u/xjellifysh 15h ago
According to this post your bf is TA for two reasons and not letting you pick the restaurant isn’t even comparable to the other one.
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u/Synicist 13h ago
No decent, well-adjusted 28yo man would EVER date a 19yo. Those of us in this age range rightfully view teenagers as still being children. He’s showing you through his behavior that he views you as a child. Ask yourself why a man would want to date and likely be sexually active with someone he views as childish.
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u/realslimmatey 8h ago
Girl… my boyfriend is 28. I am 26. even 20 year olds look like fetuses to us… please run. He is fkn weird for that.
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u/Responsible_Row_8987 6h ago
Nearly 30 and he's dating a teenager. Please please get away from him.
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u/BluntieDK 6h ago
MOR
Hmm. It's a bit too few messages to really base anything solid on IMO. He does come off as a dick, but it's so few messages that I can't tell if he's being a dick or if he's just bad at picking the right words. I'd probably try something like "but I really like [red] and want to go there" and see how he reacts to this. Without more "evidence" this seems circumstantial to me.
What I will say is that to me it is a HUGE red flag to see a 28 year old date a 19 year old, regardless of restaurants. Stay safe.
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u/lomalleyy 5h ago
He doesn’t even like you, he keeps you around because you’re an easy target. Girl run.
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u/pearl___diver 4h ago
I had a similar age gap at your age.
Please know that you are not overreacting. This man sounds like he does not respect you and this is him showing his true colors.
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u/TheBeardedCalicoFox 15h ago
If my fiance said she wants to go to fucking Burger King or go fishing or whatever the fuck, I don't care if I don't like it even, that's what we're doing. She does the same for me. I'll just go make myself a spear for the fishing, if I'm not going to catch fish I might as well look cool failing lmao I'll go over here and maybe worst case scenario help you catch more fish over there babe
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u/SuitableRoof5675 14h ago
Hey fishing can be very therapeutic if u imagine it just right. But anyway, this is what a relationship is supposed to be like, not op's. Reading those messages makes me wonder how beautiful op is, its sounds like she's arm candy....
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u/Sammygirl976 14h ago
I’m getting the ICK of a 19 year old with a 28 year old man! And him not liking YOUR choice for YOUR BDAY? Doesn’t surprise me at all. You cave and go where he wants, that’s going to be the NORM behavior for your relationship.
Him telling you what he likes, you telling him something different? He is going to keep railroading you until you do what it is HE WANTS.
This is typical behavior from a guy who is dating a teenager. I mean no disrespect to you, because I’m pretty sure you are MORE MATURE than he is.
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u/Kaiiiyuh 13h ago
19 and 29 is so bad. I was in this exact position and he controlled every aspect of my life, even my birthdays just like this. Please leave and find someone better I’m not kidding, you will regret wasting years of your life in a situation like this once it’s over 🥲
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u/MonitorOk3031 13h ago
Yeah, he’s dating someone who can’t even drink in public yet because he likes to feel superior and in control. NOR, hopefully this is the first little spark that he sucks and you should be dating someone who isn’t a creep.
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u/calicoskiies 10h ago
NOR. Oh girl dump him. I was once a 19 year old dating a 29 year old. Let me tell ya, he was a loser who couldn’t get a woman his own age. I’m too bold to be controlled. I hope you are too.
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u/Suspicious-Hand-9953 9h ago
I read the texts, then realized the age difference and it immediately clicked.
NOR
From the texts I got the impression that this guy does not take you seriously at all. He treats you like a child. Laughs at your suggestions. Only has his mind changed about your opinion not by you but by an outside measurement (Michelin star).
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u/NicyVicy 3h ago
Yeah I stopped at the ages, this man is wayyy to old for you and taking advantage, I know you do not want to hear this but I do regret meeting way older guys when I was a minor, there is a reason he is not dating someone his age
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u/Ecstatic-Resist114 2h ago
wtf from him. My boyfriend is a chef and goes to lots of restaurants. I always let him choose but if I ever say that theres a restaurant I fancied instead he goes with my choice, ESPECIALLY if he hasn’t heard of it. Leading up to my birthday he had me try a bunch of new restaurants so I could make a more informed decision on which restaurant I wanted to go to. He would out right refuse to choose which restaurant we were eating at for MY birthday. Your boyfriend is arrogant and doesn’t like you… let me guess … he’s not paying either is he ?
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u/Chance-Selection-198 2h ago
"lmao lmao lmao" NOR I would get the ick from the way he texts and the way he acts. He's nearly 30 dating a teenager. Red flags everywhere.
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u/inthedeadlights 1h ago
the problem is your 28yo boyfriend is attracted to teenagers bc he thinks you are easier to manipulate and control. there is a reason women his age won't date him. and it's just going to keep getting worse. sorry :( but your boyfriend is a loser.
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u/simplymilky 1h ago
Girl why are you dating a near 30 year old
Me and my fiancé are the same age as him and 19 year olds are literally babies compared to us
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u/Key-Buyer7130 59m ago
hey so this same exact thing happened to me at the same age gap and guess what-- he always acted like he knew more than me and never trusted what i wanted. have fun having another parent.
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u/L_222020 15h ago
Im convinced yall come here to ragebait bc how could possibly think its okay to have the word teen in your age still and date someone thats 30. Nobody is overreacting enough😭
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u/PrestigiousDemand696 15h ago
This is what you’ll have to deal with if you want to date a loser who can’t get girls his own age. They don’t put up with his nonsense, while you do.
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u/_alienchild_ 15h ago
NOR 28 year old men want someone naive and pliable when they date that young, because they cant get women their own age, most of the time.
He asked you about restaurants and you picked up on it. He didn’t think you’d have good opinions on dinner just because you don’t normally pick the spot. He likely assumes he knows better because he’s older.
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u/redbottleofshampoo 15h ago
Asking someone where they want to go for their birthday dinner and then not going there is rude. Unless the distance was too far to travel or it was too expensive. It's your birthday you pick. He doesn't respect you. Whether that's because you're 10 years younger or some other reason idk.
But his actions are speaking pretty loud here
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u/theRumbling_ 15h ago
Even at 21 I wouldn't have dated a 19 year old. The common consensus with all of my friends was if she can't go to the bar then she's too young. I don't even drink anymore but that's still mandatory.
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u/SuitableRoof5675 14h ago
Nor. Your young darling. This is wrong first of all he tells u to pick the place, you do, and then he still try to take u somewhere else. Not to mention it looks like he's trying to combine something for you birthday..... depending on what it is, that could be disrespectful and uncaring like the rest of this situation.
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u/_Thursdays_Child 14h ago
Tell him you’re going to go out with a few friends your own age to the restaurant you want to go to for your birthday, a mixed sex group. Pretty sure he’ll be the one who overreacts.
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u/Gold-Kaleidoscope537 14h ago
Nor. He wants to control you. Which is why he doesn’t date women his own age.
This will only get worse over time. As im sure you know by reading this sub.
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u/Flat-Sun-1359 12h ago
You really shouldn't be dating a 28yo at 19.
He is clearly trying to assert authority here, possibly why he dayes younger than him in the first place. You should pick your birthday dinner. NOR
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u/notthatcousingreg 11h ago
He shouldnt even be dating you at his age. He will continue to think his way is best because he knows he can railroad you because you are young. Thats why he doesnt date a grown up. He wants to make sure everyone at this "fancy" restaurant sees he is with you. Dont be some dudes arm candy. You sound awesome. Find a nice guy to date. He isnt it.
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u/AnishNischal 11h ago
NOR - What is so "lmao" about this conversation that a 28 yr old had to use it twice...
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u/Taunt_Button_10 10h ago
Im ignoring the age gap…but wheres the part where he asked you to choose? These two pictures just looks like a basic conversation about italian restaurants to me.
And i read that ‘teal’ suggestion as something he wants to take you to. Not necessarily overriding anything.
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u/theslyestfox 7h ago
NOR — Please do not take this the wrong way because I too was once a teenager people said was mature for her age, who got along with older people, and who thought of myself as totally mature, capable and all knowing — he does not see you the way you feel about yourself.
He is dating you because you have less life experience and your brain isn’t even fully developed yet. You do not have the knowledge to recognize his red flags. You are easier for him to manipulate, coerce, make fun of till you agree with him (like in these texts), mold into whatever his version of a perfect girlfriend is — instead of letting you flourish and be your own independent person who he respects and sees as an equal. He won’t even let you pick the restaurant you want to eat at for your own birthday because he looks down on you as a little baby who doesn’t know better.
At 28, 19 year olds seemed like little babies to me too, but never in one million years would I have looked at one and wanted to date them. They were like little siblings or cousins, not someone to have sex with and have a serious relationship with.
Oh and that’s another reason older people date way younger — they don’t want something serious and see you as less likely to be pressuring them into serious long term dating, marriage and or children than someone closer to their own age who is looking to settle down.
Anyway, please read the free PDF Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
So you can learn how to spot the red flags for controlling and abusive people early and get out early. He seems controlling, unsure if it has veered into abusive yet, but it’s good to read this just in case he — or any of your future partners — starts to show their red flags.
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u/O_lymbias 3h ago
Girl you are 19, you are beautiful and full of life and possibilities, but to him you are mostly a trophy. He likes to flaunt you around, because he got a beautiful and modelable butterfly.
Your instincts are good, you out up good boundaries and you handled it well. You sound quite solid (more than when I was your age !) so I'm not too worried you'll take the good decision. Doesn't mean you can't enjoy the restaurant. But keep your heart to yourself for this one.
PS : When he said "I never heard of them" he wanted to belittle you for proposing restaurants that are not "known".
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u/Panzermensch911 3h ago
Is this ragebait?
Anyway, there's a reason this dude doesn't dare women in his age range. Most would not put up with and clearly say. "This (insert restaurant) s where I want to eat.Take it or leave it." No pussyfooting around it. Anyway put your foot down or you are not "mature enough" for this relationship.
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u/ShelbyGT350R1 2h ago
The second you typed out 19 and 28 this entire thread became a lost cause. That will be the ONLY thing talked about from now on since reddit is so obsessed with age gaps
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u/Claral6012 15h ago
Yeah dump him immediately. He shouldn't be dating a 19 year old. There's something wrong with him.
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u/Silky_Caterpillar873 15h ago
He’s dating a 19 year old at 28… what did you expect. That’s a red flag to start no 28 year old woman would want him. Or hes just creepy
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u/Commercial-Bat-4534 15h ago
So he likes to be performative and go to places that have more go do with appearances than quality? Does that seem like the kinda guy he is as well?
He's a bit of a contrarian and a dickhead. I don't think either of you are over reacting based on the screenshots but he is being a dick for not just agreeing to the place you want to go for your birthday, and I worry with the age range and the asking permission type of thing that this relationship is one sided. Is he with you because he values you or because you're a nice new accessory?
But I'm judging a lot from a screenshot.
He hasn't said no. Did you reply "great it's settled", is everything resolved now?
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u/monkeygirl732 13h ago
MOR / INFO - how long have you been dating? How did you meet? But yes reasonable 2 be very annoyed at someone wanting to do a BS celebrity / instagrammable ass spot instead of where EYE wanna go for my bday
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u/EEukaryotic 13h ago
Says in the post, 9 months in the relationship
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u/monkeygirl732 13h ago
Oh ty
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u/EEukaryotic 13h ago
I wholeheartedly agree, yikes!
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u/monkeygirl732 12h ago
So she was potensh 18 when this started and he is showing signs of being controlling at worst, materialistic/shallow/inconsiderate at best .. ://
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u/EEukaryotic 12h ago
Yeah its really unfortunate. Bro was taking the SAT while she entered elementary school.
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u/Username00555 12h ago
28m and 19f
I don’t even hafta to read the texts to know he’s a whole weirdo you should block
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u/alickalice 12h ago
NOR this is crazy lmfao. He does not care what you want at all. He’s acting like it’s his party. He doesn’t seem considerate of your feelings at all.
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u/gabriell3ope 11h ago
NOR
but also you’re only 19 and your bf is nearly 30
im 19 and i couldn’t imagine that and im sure you can understand how that can seem very weird
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u/Corodix 7h ago
NOR. You're feeling said because he showed you that he doesn't care about what you want even after he asked you to pick. Instead he ridiculed your for your choices and then picked something entirely different for you. Turns out he hadn't even done his research into your choices since he had no clue about the Michelin star, which indeed makes it obvious that he was just trying to put you down so that he could frame himself as being superior.
It's quite typical to see from an abuser and manipulator early on, it's part of trying to break you down until they have you entirely under their thumb/control. Those kinds of people also happen to go for age gaps like that because it's often far easier for them to do this to people who are a lot younger and less experienced than them. So all of that checks out too.
I'd try to avoid age gaps like this at least until you're older and a bit more experienced. That way you'll also weed out people who have designs like that for their partner/victim.
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u/HERMANNATOR85 1h ago
You and him are probably not compatible on maturity levels. Also, I am sure that you find it awesome that an older man wants to be with you but for the rest of the world a 28 year-old with a 19 year-old is a creep. That is much different than a 38 year-old and a 29 year-old.
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u/MatchaBauble 15m ago
NOR. But "Let me"? Just put your foot down or go there by yourself if you have to (or with friends instead). And re-evaluate your relationship.
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u/the_bu3no 15h ago
Everyone’s hating on the guy (fair) but you should not be dating a 28 year old what the fuck are you thinking? Where are your parents?
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u/PuzzledNinja5457 15h ago
Did you post this again because you didn’t like the answers on your other post? He’s a creep dating a teenager.
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u/Future-Wishbone-1532 14h ago
I posted them at the same time. This one had to be approved by the mods so there was delay.
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u/CakeChara 15h ago
I think unless he is continuing to belittle and poke fun at you, the laughing is probably lighthearted. Regardless of age you should be able to feel comfortable talking about how this made you upset, it doesn’t matter if birthdays aren’t important to him, it matters if it’s important to you. Worst case for him he has to give up one day a year to make you happy. I say, tell him your birthday is important to you and that he hurt your feelings. NOR but nothing to do with age
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15h ago
[deleted]
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u/Future-Wishbone-1532 15h ago
I posted them at the same time and this one was delayed because the mods had to approve it. But thank you for your judgement.
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u/wowwowow555555 3h ago
She could always date a guy her own age but she chooses not too. She is legally an adult. How about she takes some accountability. Oh wait. She’s a woman.
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u/Ch31i3 15h ago
YOR going by his age “lmao” is just how he starts sentences I doubt he actually thinks you’re funny. What you guys had is called a conversation and it seems like you just want to be mad and you’re looking for any excuse to be mad. Now where the problem lies is you’re a child and he’s a grown ass man. When you turn 28 you’ll see how absolutely disgusting it is to date someone turning 19. Date someone your age don’t get taken advantage of. Men go for younger girls because they “listen” they “play along” they “do more” but it’s only because they just don’t understand yet. Get away from that thing
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u/HIIMJAKF 15h ago
I bet if you search "28m 19f" in this subreddit you'll find this is already well-trod territory. Care to hazard a guess at what the overarching problem is?