r/AmIOverreacting • u/DoomNGlam • 12d ago
❤️🩹 relationship AIO or does this seem Unhinged?
I 41m am/was in a rather New relationship with 41f and things were seemingly going great but she will seemingly be very upset with me over something small once in a while. Last night she was upset that I didn't call her sexy after sending me a picture of her in an outfit. For context she said she was getting rid of clothes but was thinking about keeping this item and sent the picture and asked what I think? It was a strapless romper. I told her it was cute and could maybe use a belt. I also make clothes professionally and people ask me opinions about clothes all the time.
In other context my "sexuality" is somewhere on the ace spectrum between Demi and ace. Like sex is fine and fun and I don't really experience sexual attraction unless there is an emotional connection first, and she said she was the same, except I am not very sex driven and she is.
This was our text exchange this morning.
Edit/Update
Thanks for all the support. I am surprised my little Independence day relationship drama made it to #1 on this subreddit.
I was pretty sure I was calling this off pretty early in this exchange but didn't block her right away because I figured I would give her a chance to apologize, maybe she was having a bad morning, she's been stressed at work, has a upcoming interview for a new job, might be dealing with perimenopause. It wasn't going to work out but figured I would at least offer a little grace.
She did text me again about a book I had borrowed. I ignored it. She then called me and asked I return her book tomorrow. I said okay. She didn't say anything else for a minute so I hung up.
She called back mad that I hung up on her. I said this was childish and it's not what I'm looking for. She said I was childish for hanging up on her. I said okay. She hung up.
She called again and then told me I was ugly and she was never attracted to me.
Then hung up on me and called right back to complain about a carnivorous plant I got her as a gift, because the care instructions for it made it a chore. I also got her a cactus and a succulent and told her when I gave her the plants that if the pitcher plant seemed like a pain in the ass I would keep it.
Then she started asking me if I really don't have it in my heart to remain friends. I said no not after this. Then she went on a fuck you rant and hung up.
Then threatened to call the cops on ME for harassment if I tried to contact her as I was blocking her.
Now she is blocked and I am just sitting on my back patio watching fireworks.
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u/Imalibra13 12d ago edited 11d ago
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE BOTH 41 😭😭😭😭
Oh and NOR. For God's sake
Edit: It has come to my attention this wonderful lady is 46. OP, you dodged a fucking atomic bomb.
Edit 2: I've never gotten an award before and now I got 3 (Thank you guys :3). This is my 15 minutes of fame I can feel it.
Edit 3: Now I have over 20🎉 I wanna thank my parents, my partner and my hard work for making me into a person that gets awards on reddit now.
Edit 4: 37 awards??? This is the best day of my life. I feel seen, I feel heard, I feel appreciated. Love you❤️
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u/quickwitqueen 12d ago
I saw the screenshots then read the age and was NOT expecting middle aged people behind this exchange.
Dude, don’t put up with this nonsense. She’s a loon.
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u/-Affectionate-Echo- 12d ago
For sure thought this was 2 ~20-year-olds having a back and forth. This is barely acceptable at that age. At 40+ give your head a shake. If I was OP I would be laughing it off and telling her to have a good life.
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u/DoomNGlam 12d ago
That's basically where I am at. Admittedly a little bummed because it seemed to be going great until yesterday. But I am quite comfortable being single and too old for this kind of thing.
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u/eternal-harvest 12d ago
Yeah, this is not cool, man. She is basically employing psychological warfare here. The moment they sold it for me was "Why would you think I'm pissed?" Um BECAUSE YOU SOUND PISSED??? She's trying to make you think you're crazy when in reality, you're interpreting her words in a completely sane way.
Do not put up with that shit. It's the kind of mind games we should grow out of in our early 20s at the absolute latest. The fact that she still thinks this is an acceptable way to communicate does not bode well! 😬 Your peace is worth more
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u/Luna997 12d ago
I was gonna say that too. “Why do you think I’m pissed?”. OH IDK.. BECAUSE YOU SAID YOU WERE IRRITATED. But okay. Like what the fuck was that?
OP, not worth it. This is fucked. She acts pissed at you and then gets pissy when you get pissy at her for acting pissy. She sounds very insecure and immature. At 41, you’d expect a bit more emotional intelligence.
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u/NullVoidNix 12d ago
I know people that will say things like they are "mad", and when you reply back saying they were "pissed" they go off on you trying to make you think you were totally wrong because that's not what they said. Same thing when OP said "saem" and she had to reply back that he misspelled. Such a shitty person.
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u/DoomNGlam 12d ago
The craziest part at that point was I didn't even have to scroll up for "I'm wide awake and irritated AF"
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u/eternal-harvest 12d ago
I like to give people grace. If she really was grumpy from being woken up, okay, whatever. But she just goes on and on and on about it (it's great that you called her out too!)
On reread, she even starts in her very first reply. "No sunshine emoji". What a manipulative asshole
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u/Quiet_Cabinet_4004 12d ago
Oh my God, I know! That was so terrible of her! She’s a horrible person! She’s very manipulative of him, it’s so sad.
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u/flatulentbabushka 12d ago
I could see her trying to turn on the gaslighting in real time. I’m glad you didn’t take the bait. I’m 40F and no way would I be putting up with that kind of shit, let alone antagonizing someone like that.
NOR. She likely has some type of cluster B personality disorder. I bet if you let her sleep in she would go off on you about not wishing her a GM ☀️
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u/CapableCat0406 12d ago
NOR. are u joking? you're underreacting if anything
"why do you think i'm pissed? you're accusing me of feeling like something that i don't" *2 seconds earlier* "I'm irritated AF"
.... everything about this whole thing is insane. this woman gets off on being pissed at you and having you squirm and apologize to her for shit that's not an issue at all.
"i don't enjoy being categorized into "most people you know"" first of all u weren't categorizing anyone into anything. you explained why you assumed she'd put her phone on dnd. she's offended to be in a group of people you know. she doesn't want to be a person you know.
she doesn't like you. and she told u that. please stop trying to make her comfortable when she's clearly trying to make you UNcomfortable
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u/parkaboy24 12d ago
Yeah NOR because this shit is textbook manipulation. I had an ex who said he was offended id group him in with “anyone” (can’t even remember what I said but I used that word) when he wasn’t just anyone. I was like “huh??? You know that’s not what I mean.” They just find anything they can to be mad at you for.
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u/AdultinginCali 12d ago
NOR. Yeah, don't waste time on her tomfuckery. She gave you a glimpse of future exhausting events.
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u/Beginning_Tap2474 12d ago
I'm sorry, but I laughed when I read: "She called again and then told me I was ugly and she was never attracted to me."
I'm glad you have her blocked, but be prepared, if she knows where you live, she will show up at your door.
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u/_dangling_participle 12d ago
Yeah, dude, this is INSANE. This is someone who was spoiling for a fight. My guess is she was still pissed about the night before and had worked herself into a complete, irrational rage about it after you'd stopped talking last night. And she had already decided she was "over it" and this was the result.
This behavior is absolutely crazy-making madness, and something my Borderline sibling does regularly. Looks for reasons to fight and won't stop until she has burned down everything. In fact, she is also 41, and the rest of the family has gotten to the point of no return with her since there's been zero evolution or growth or self-recognition for her, after decades of leaving destroyed people and relationships in her wake.
This behavior won't get better, it will get worse. Run and don't look back.
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u/Andie_OptimistPrime 12d ago
I’m 40 and seeing you refer to this age group as middle aged just sent me into a spiral. 😮💨
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u/divinitylo4r 12d ago
Apparently she's 46
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u/MovieTrawler 12d ago
46 and single...I wonder why...
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u/Waste_Relationship46 12d ago
Yeah. I'm 38 and sometimes wonder why I'm still single... But out of all of my faults, at least I can say I'm not a total miserable, awful human being like this person.
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u/eli74372 12d ago
I didnt read the caption before reading this comment so once i read this comment i instantly said "THEYRE 41?!?!” i thought they were like in their 20s 😭
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u/Mysterious_Bid_9479 12d ago
What’s wrong or immature about the OP’s texts? All I see is a woman trying to pick a fight, and a dude who was trying to be nice but finally had enough.
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u/kermittedtothejoke 12d ago
OP did nothing wrong but a relationship like this at their big age is not something that’s expected. This was coming off like someone in their early 20s not someone double that age. It’s very immature.
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u/PegBoggsLAR 12d ago
Unhinged.
On to the next.
That will quickly become a life of being responsible for their emotions and outbursts.
RUN.
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u/Guilty_Practice6392 12d ago
“I’m irritated AF”
“If you want to be pissed that’s fine”
“I’m not pissed, don’t make me feel bad”
That’s all I needed to see. Maybe she’s just a cranky baby because she woke up early, but she’s a baby nonetheless. She was bothered by an honest mistake, that I’d say is more on her, and decided to try to make you feel like shit about it. If you wake up to texts and don’t put your phone on DnD, maybe tell people???
Emotional maturity of a toddler
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u/DoomNGlam 12d ago
I'm the guy.
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u/Guilty_Practice6392 12d ago
Yeah, I edited once I noticed. I missed the genders and just assumed inaccurately
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12d ago
[deleted]
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u/wordattack 12d ago
Not only did I get the genders wrong but also got the ages very wrong. What a wild ride
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u/Guilty_Practice6392 12d ago
As a guy, I’m cool with admitting I assumed the male was the more immature one. Props to OP for seemingly handling it well.
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u/Outside-Parfait-8935 12d ago
Does she not know about favourite contacts? If you can't turn your phone off you can put DND except for whoever you choose as an exception. Blaming someone for waking you up because you don't know how to use a phone is ridiculous
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u/brogiehoagie 12d ago
41 years old yet crying this much over a text in the morning is crazy
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u/DoomNGlam 12d ago
That was a typo she is actually 46
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u/brogiehoagie 12d ago
Even worse, oh my god
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u/monster2018 12d ago
I mean to be fair, for whatever reason, it’s not really worse, it’s basically the same.
Which is completely, absolutely, over the top, balls to the wall, batshit insane.
NOR
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u/LOWBACCA 12d ago
LOL
This chick is insane. Congrats on dodging this bullet now. Unless you have a humiliation kink you better not answer that phone call tomorrow.
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u/pettricora 12d ago
Well, there's a good reason she isn't in a loving and wonderful marriage at 46, but bashing you just for funsies instead.
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u/mamatrixie78 12d ago
To be fair its not always because someone is an ass that they are not in a loving marriage at 46. In this case yes she a total jerk. But it's definitely not a rule of thumb. Sometimes good people get dealt a shitty hand amd life turns out different... or they just like being single/ not married 🤷♂️
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u/MovieTrawler 12d ago
They didn't even make a generalized comment. They said there is a reason she is 46 and single.
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u/mamatrixie78 12d ago
I honestly don't know if I'm missing something or misunderstanding something. (English isn't my first language so sometimes i can mess things up by misunderstanding) but to be sure i want to set the record straight. I didn't mean any thing rude or mean or snippy or whatever at all!
The only reason i said what i said because it's something that is often said about women (and men) that are single or unmarried after a certain age. I'm assuming we all know that reason are different for everyone. But it's something that is often said or thought that of you are not married or in a years long relationship at a certain age there must be something wrong with you. Just as how some people think that at a certain point a woman should start wanting to have kids. If you dare say "no thank you, not for me" than more often than not people look at you like you're an alien or something.
So the only reason i said what i did was just so that for the people who read it and do think that way, they would have a different point of view. If it came across nasty to the person that i reacted under, i sincerely apologize because that really wasn't my intention.
Hope that clears everything up.
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u/naternots 12d ago
English is my only language and I read both their comment the way you did, then your comment the way you just described. You were very kind and didn’t seem offended or offensive at all. Idk why that person is fixing you a hard time, but don’t worry about it.
There IS an outdated belief system that still persists- if you hit a certain age, especially as a woman, and you have not been married, there is something wrong with you or you are too picky.
Maybe these people are younger, but when you hit your 30’s and people you know start acting different about you being single (like when dating someone new, if you just don’t feel a connection, it goes from responses like, “Your 20’s are for dating around and figuring out what you want!” Then you hit some line in your thirties and it changes to “What was wrong with him, he sounded nice and has ____ in common with you?”).
Comments like the one you responded feel like an extension of that belief. People in their 20’s are viewed as learning what they want and and not settling for less when dating and “waiting for the right one” when they are single. People in their 30’s+ are viewed as dating to just check boxes, and if nothing objectively is wrong with the date or your compatibility on paper, you should be trying to see if they are the person you can settle with. Like if that isn’t working it means something is wrong with you. Or if you’re married and aren’t in a happy relationship one of you must be difficult, even though that could just be from changes that aren’t compatible over time or external stressors.
The commenter probably didn’t mean anything bad by that. But it still is a common response, and even in jest, throwing her age into it feels like it is usually based off that belief system and attitudes towards this subject existing societally and subconsciously in people. Because “no wonder she is single”, without age, would be fine to get the point across if it is just based on her being shitty- but honestly even then, still goes to the well of “single = suspicious, this time suspicions confirmed” when there are so many more glaringly weird things to comment on than her marriage status.
So yeah. I’m with ya on this, also with you on the hunch they meant no harm by it or may not have even garnered this thought from generalizations, but it seems like it enough.
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u/TPJchief87 12d ago
Oddly enough, I’ve met a few people like this. I had one of my best friend’s wife (we’ve all been friends for like 17 years) get mad at me for texting our group chat around 8:30 in the morning. I texted responding to a text she sent around 1AM lol. So it’s ok to text me when I’m obviously asleep, but not the other way around.
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u/Training-Laugh-4304 12d ago
NOR, I’m not seeing a whole lot of people saying it, but she told you why she’s acting out, she doesn’t accept your sexuality.
She’s trying to start an argument on purpose, she’s using the littlest inconveniences as a reason to get mad at you because she is frustrated about a bigger issue to her.
She’s emotionally immature.. in her 40s..and is unable to talk about her feelings in a productive matter and get to what’s important to her. She’d rather feel slighted to have a reason to be angry at you. Her behavior? Wack, emotional regulation? Wack.
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u/SewSewSorry 12d ago
I agree! The total and complete incongruity of that particular line gives it away.
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u/curiouscatinthehat 12d ago
People love to be victims. "I have insomnia" and "you woke me up when my phone chimed" should never even be in the same phrase.
TURN THE DAMN SOUND OFF ON YOUR PHONE!
Crazy to me how people love to blame others instead of taking action to fix their own problems.
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u/West-Air-9184 12d ago
I agree! If they're worried about emergencies they could mute sounds for texts and keep the ringer on for phone calls. That's what I do and I'm rarely woken up by my phone now
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u/peach_xanax 12d ago
how does one do that? when I look at my DND settings, there's no separate setting for texts and phone calls, it's just all notifications. I'm on android, maybe I have to download an app for it?
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u/West-Air-9184 12d ago
Mine's also an android! In settings under "Sound and Vibrations" I have the ringer on but have "Notification Sound" set to silent so that the texts don't make any noise
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u/Grazer_Lady 12d ago
I know with iPhones and would hope with Androids, you can set the phone to silence for everyone except numbers you choose. I was a caregiver for my mom and so had my phone silenced certain hours except for my mom, her caregivers who helped me certain days a week, and my brothers.
Also, if the text work you up don’t continue texting. Read it and roll back over and try to sleep then reply - instead she woke herself up even more to fight.
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u/User123466789012 12d ago
Lol, my BFF has used this line and I nipped it immediately. I texted her MID DAY and it woke her up. She was pissed. I told her to utilize DND, she used the same line in this post about needing to have her phone on.
Wrong. Use Google like an adult if you genuinely can't figure it out, but set your priority contacts so that everyone who isn't a priority is silenced. And stfu.
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u/Lickerbomper 12d ago
I have chronic insomnia. I sometimes sleep through the day. I sometimes get woken up because I don't use the fancy tools, and hello? It's daytime, it's the time people are supposed to call. I'm not gonna miss something important just because my body doesn't sleep properly.
Is it irritating? Yes, but I'm also an adult that realizes that other people conforming to a society and making phone calls when they are supposed to is nothing to be mad at them about. It's just the way things are.
People gotta have control over their emotions. Even anger, even irritation, and especially if it's no one's fault.
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u/Turbulent-Baker-4638 12d ago
Totally, and she can set it up so she only gets alerted if specific people are calling, ie her elderly parents.
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u/greepsofwrath 12d ago
and there’s usually an option to turn all sounds off and they can make an exception for important numbers
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u/RickRussellTX 12d ago
NOR. Of course, you know if you didn't text her right on time she would have been SUPER pissed.
Some people just like to blame everyone else for their feelings.
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u/TheW1nd94 12d ago
Yes, it is unhinged. As someone who has suffered form insomnia my whole life, and acted like this unhinged individual, insomnia and lack of sleep can alter your personality and make you a complete asshole.
It’s not your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.
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u/Vivid-Raccoon9640 12d ago
Just wanted to chime in saying it might explain this kinda behavior, but it doesn't excuse it.
And OP, just stop responding. This is utterly fucking unhinged behavior, and you don't deserve this kinda treatment.
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u/OpportunityMinute65 12d ago
Agreed I used to be so angry In the morning if woken up because I had so much trouble sleeping but I generally kept it to myself. But lack of sleep will do things to do. But does not excuse the behavior
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u/TheW1nd94 12d ago
It certainly doesn’t excuse it, and as someone with insomnia, my phone is always on silent and with the internet data closed during the night.
As for calls, they only contacts that can get through are my parents, my grandma and my fiancée. The rest of my contacts are on mute.
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u/WashHour5646 12d ago
Totally agree. Yes, I am an absolute bitch if someone wakes me up… which is why I have my phone on dnd and don’t respond to texts until I am in a better mood.
It is not ok to act like that.
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u/Exciting-Delivery-96 12d ago
41 year old child.
I seriously thought this was a teenager.
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u/Samariumcupcakes 12d ago
NOR - They should set up do not disturb
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u/SeaPack2980 12d ago
Exactly. You can include important numbers to get through if you're worried about your parents or boss needing you.
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u/TheRealGongoozler 12d ago
I was thinking that. I have my partner and two boys set to where their messages come through the do not disturb no matter what. It’s not a hard fix.
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u/thoughtsoneverything 12d ago
Does she not know she could add her parents and her job as exceptions to DND?? It seems like she wants to be pissed
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u/zeroschiuma 12d ago
You’re not overreacting and there’s something seriously wrong with this person. Run!
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u/Mogyoro108 12d ago
Omg NOR. You must be sooo exhausted, i feel like you walk on eggshells a lot. You deserve so much better, you deserve someone you loves being loved by you
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u/DoomNGlam 12d ago
She has done something similar once before over the last month and change but immediately apologized so I wrote it off as a one off, but now it feels like it would be a pattern
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u/NicolasJanuario 12d ago
No, you’re not unhinged and yes, I’d recommend walking away as soon as possible. The issue isn’t the romper, it’s that you two have completely different needs. You answered honestly and professionally because that’s how you show care, and she wanted immediate sexual validation. On top of that you’re ace/demi with a low sex drive and she’s more sex-driven, so one of you will always feel rejected and the other pressured. Her getting that upset over something small this early is a red flag that you’d end up walking on eggshells. You don’t match and forcing it will just make both of you miserable. Be direct, say you like her but you’re not compatible, and end it now before it hurts more.
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u/babinoodle 12d ago
I agree with everything except the "say you like he4" part. That part feels unnecessary and might complicate things or make the desire to part ways unclear. If only because it invites more debate, potentially.
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u/AyaPrimrose 12d ago
nor this person sucked all my energy out of me and im not even the one texting them
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u/MoviesAtTheMatt 12d ago
NOR
First of all, she can set a DND that still allows for specific numbers to get through. Anyone who gets woken up by their phone, that’s on them.
Second of all, this person wanted a fight. She said she didn’t want to talk and then kept talking. With every explanation you gave, you got an upset “what do you mean by that” kind of response. No matter what you said, it would have been wrong. I can’t stand when people are like this.
Just look at the very first exchange. You say a simple good morning and the response is a vague “no sunshine emoji”. It’s not clear if she is telling you to not send it or if she is pointing out that you didn’t send it. That’s on purpose because your next response is wrong no matter what.
You don’t need this.
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u/taman961 12d ago
“I’m wide awake and irritated AF because of it” “why do you think I’m pissed?” in the SAME SCREENSHOT. Top tier gaslighter. Run don’t walk, OP NOR
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u/OkProfessor6810 12d ago
NOR
Speaking as a woman, dump her. Dump her. Dump her, now. I'm exhausted just reading the texts.
Also, y'all are both 41? This seems like an exchange between ppl in their early 20s.
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u/pigeonfaerie 12d ago
NOR- if this was something that bothered her, she should have said something nicely/straightforwardly the first time it happened instead of waiting until she got this mad about it. A simple “hey, just so you know I have insomnia so if you could wait until after x:00 to text me next time I’d appreciate it!” Would have been a lot more reasonable.
Also you can set your phone to DND mode but set contacts that are able to bypass that. I sleep with my phone on DND but my elderly dad is one of my contacts whose calls/texts will bypass that setting. I don’t remember how I set it like that but I know it’s possible and probably easy to find with her google education
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u/DoomNGlam 12d ago
Not only did she not say it was an issue, she has told me multiple times that she looks forward to my good morning texts
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u/nocomment_5150 12d ago
I’d like to encourage you to celebrate Independence Day by becoming independent of this person
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u/Comfortable_Cry_6670 12d ago
Who is this person?! This is exhausting I can’t believe you kept going
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u/NoxNoxOpenUp 12d ago
What's this about accepting your sexuality??
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u/DoomNGlam 12d ago
I'm demi sexual/asexual
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u/NoxNoxOpenUp 12d ago
See, as someone who would likely be considered almost hypersexual, I'd have no problem with that. Its not a hard thing to accept.
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u/smollindy 12d ago
she seems very volatile and exhausting. i would not advise getting closer to her— she gets very mean very easily and i think that could skyrocket the closer you get.
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u/fixxypcp 12d ago
"I'm irritated af" "why do you think i'm pissed off" grade A shitbag right here
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u/Legalguardian222 12d ago
“i’m wide awake and irritated AF because of it”
“why do you think i’m pissed?”
this person is just looked for a dopamine hit from a fight
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u/AlternativeFirst9523 12d ago
The most shocking thing about this is finding out you’re both in your forties, as I was reading the texts I could have sworn you were both teens
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u/cranberry_lemon 12d ago
NOR what a selfish and ungrateful person.. loose her you deserve better
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u/konceptalise 12d ago
I thought this was two 20 y/o’s and you were f and she was m. This is so weird. Get out before you start pulling your hair out.
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u/Technical_Trade_675 12d ago
NOR They literally say, "I'm irritated AF".. then they feel a type of way about being accused of having a pissed off tone. Like it's clearly spelled out. Then randomly takes a jab at OPs sexuality? This is definitely unhinged. Dodge that bullet OP! Gtfo quick!
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u/vishus42 12d ago
NOR-Was trying to see if I could fault you for anything. But like, they really went off for no reason. So many times they could've just stopped. You apologized, you backed off, but they just kept coming. And they mention of sexuality is weird lol. Seems almost like the "fight" was manufactured here on purpose.
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u/Sea-Problem-8757 12d ago
So, does she respond this way when her elderly parents or colleagues wake her up?
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u/Muted_Ad_8208 12d ago
You get it… NOR and damn did I love your “I thought it was fun but now I’m just nauseous.”
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u/GalacticPup42 12d ago edited 11d ago
NOR. But… I have been diagnosed with severe insomnia/anxiety since I was 11 (am 25 now). Despite being on very heavy medication, I still am only able to sleep about 3 hours at night, every night. That by itself makes me very irritated, I control myself well and don’t take it out on people unless under extenuating circumstances where they know I am sleeping and don’t respect it. I take my sleep very seriously because I can’t get much of it, and I know how much the lack of it affects me. I don’t think there is nothing someone can do towards me that will annoy me more than disturbing my sleep, whether that’s intentional or not. It pisses me off in a way I can’t even describe, pretty much the same way she texted you. The only difference is that I control my reaction better, but sometimes I snap too if I think you are waking me up on purpose. Regarding the phone notification, I believe both iPhone and Android phones have a “focus” function where you can choose what kind of notifications to get and from whom. My phone is always completely silent, no vibrations or nothing, the only two people that will make my phone vibrate are my dad and grandma because I know they don’t contact me unless they have a good reason. Other than that, even boyfriend is muted so I don’t wake up from random messages. I think she overreacted but I kinda understand why she did. Maybe tell her about the “focus” function so she can mute you until 10 am for example.
Edit: nevermind, I had only read the first 3 screenshots when I wrote the comment. I read the rest of them now and that was straight up just mean with no excuses. End things.
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u/Calgary_Calico 12d ago
The only timestamp was at the very end, what time did you text her at? Just more out of curiosity than anything.
However, no I don't think you're overreacting. She was absolutely being snarky and rude to you over you literally just saying good morning. She didn't have to reply, and if she has insomnia she should absolutely have her phone on DND so it doesn't wake her up. If she has certain contacts that need to be able to contact her I'm case of an emergency with her parents she can set them as an exception to the DND on her phone.
I wouldn't stick around if I were you, unless you like being talked down to like this
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u/DoomNGlam 12d ago
It was at 6:50. I usually text around 7 it used to be around 6 but she wouldn't reply until around 7 so I just figured I would wait until then when she wakes up usually. She has told me multiple times she looks forward to my good morning texts. Also she is waiting for the AC guy to fix her air conditioning at 8 then we were supposed to go on a little road trip to a sculpture garden, that she planned.
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u/twoharbours 12d ago
Get out now. It will only get worse for you if you don’t. She has the emotional maturity of a toddler.
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u/Killpop582014 12d ago
For someone so tired, she’s sure able to say a whole lot of crap to make you feel bad pretty easily. NOR.
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u/WeepyWallflower 12d ago
NOR - My partner acts like this sometimes and we’re pretty sure he has Borderline Personality Disorder. From reading your texts, it seems to me that she was likely still upset about the previous night and then got even more upset when you texted without using a sunshine emoji. She then perceived these two situations as you losing interest or “rejecting” her. So instead of discussing her feelings, she decided to make you feel poorly as a defense mechanism.
She may end up crawling back, apologizing, saying she was in the wrong. If I were you, I wouldn’t continue talking to her because this will likely be a repetitive behavior and it’s absolutely draining.
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u/DoomNGlam 12d ago
I was in a long term relationship in my teens/early 20s with someone who had BPD and Schizophrenia and that was immediately what it reminded me of
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u/PiantaPants 12d ago
“I’m irritated AF”… “Why do you think I’m pissed?” “That’s so shitty that you would accuse me of feeling something that I don’t”… “When did I say you were wrong?”
High drama NOR
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u/Anon_Perspective_ 12d ago
She sounds like she has BPD or maybe going through a benzo drug withdrawal and just a really unpleasant person.
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u/Billtron_182 12d ago
Honestly, as annoying as it must have been going back and forth with her. It’s the best thing that coulda happened cause you got to see how she really is. You dodged a massive bullet lol. If that’s how she’s acting months in, I can’t even begin to imagine how much worse it could have gotten over time.
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u/Sue_2_Designs 12d ago
I know someone who did the same shit. NOR - RUN!! Don’t even be friends with her.
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u/Minimum-Sir-2118 12d ago
41??? At first i thought she was a teenager! Nah, she pissed me off and am not even part of the relationship! NOR
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u/Active_Orchid_2493 12d ago
NOR
That was a roller coaster of fuck no homie. You don’t deserve to be spoken to like that. Her digs at you are weird… and then to just throw “I don’t feel comfortable with your sexuality” like ok… I don’t feel comfortable with who you really are now that you have shown me your final form.
Best wishes to you OP.
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u/yalldointoomuch 12d ago
NOR
I promise, she was trying to find an excuse to drop you that wasn't because you're on the asexuality spectrum- bc she KNOWS that's a dick move and she'd come off as the bad guy.
She wants to be able to say that you were the asshole, you were disrespectful, you had no emotional maturity, whatever.
But that message toward the end, where she said she "tried" to accept your sexuality but just wasn't into it? THAT'S the real reason why she tried to pick a fight with every single text she sent. And she was getting madder and madder because you did not rise to the bait even once.
You dodged a bullet here, but I'd definitely keep the texts as receipts in case she ends up trying to put a PR spin on the story for any mutual friends or on social media.
From once ace to another, people like her aren't worth it.
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u/Xx_spacey_kitten_xX 12d ago
NOR - she’s a miserable loser who wants a punching bag. she’s angry about something else in her life and it’s not the romper or the fact you woke her up (which is her fault, not yours- if she’s an insomniac, her phone should’ve been on do not disturb). please block her and find someone who accepts your sexuality and won’t treat you like shit. she’s emotionally abusive
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u/RegrettableDeed 12d ago
NOR - Holy crap. Reading these, I was expecting a male in his mid20s or early 30s acting childish. Not a 40-something year old woman. Yikes. I understand being irritated at being woken up. Im a light sleeper too, but I NEVER take it out on people like this. Especially when it was an earnest mistake.
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u/seabirdsong 12d ago
You can program DND to let certain important numbers through and mute everyone else's. How does an adult in this day and age not know that?
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u/Krazy_Al16 12d ago
She also stated that she was “irritated AF” id classify that under pissed…🤷🏽♀️ not just the “tone” but she actually stated that she was, weird. 🙄
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u/kansasmom1971 12d ago
I’d text her every morning and wake her up until she blocks you. Geesh. She’s a nut!
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u/Reasonable_Aioli7538 12d ago
“I’m irritated AF” Two seconds later “Why do you think I’m pissed that’s so shitty!”
NOR lol
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u/Narrow_Cantaloupe_99 12d ago
Oh my god NOR!!
“I’m wide awake and irritated AF…” followed by “why do you think I’m pissed?” 😂😂 brother in christ…
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u/Funnyfish66 12d ago
I read the messages and assumed you were female and she was male. Either way, she’s too moody. Dodged a bullet
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u/queendelrey 12d ago
NOR - One screenshot in and I’m already exhausted